Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,734 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 Hitman: World of Assassination
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1734 game reviews
    • 81 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Despite some strange design choices, Pocky & Rocky Reshrined captures the charm of the original game and still feels great to play all these years later. Added variety makes this the best version of Pocky & Rocky and makes me long for this dynamic duo to be given a truly original title now that they’ve fought their way out of obscurity.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    There’s really no getting around it, dood—Prinny Presents NIS Classics Volume 2 is another smash-hit. Er… I guess it’s more like two smash hits? I don’t know. I’m not here to talk about semantics. Basically, what I’m saying is that they did a good job with picking out these games. Both ZHPand Makai Kingdom were most definitely worthy of receiving another chance in the spotlight, and I’m very happy that that happened. Keep ’em coming, NIS!
    • tbd Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Despite or maybe because of the intense moral choices the game forces on you, it’s hard to stop playing My Lovely Wife. I didn’t get up for at least an hour after starting my first session and reached my first ending a couple of hours later. While the subject material found herein is heavy and dark, the story and setting are nevertheless compelling and downright addictive. Even though I’ve never played the previous game, My Lovely Daughter, I’m sold on My Lovely Wife. If you’re a fan of dark and fascinating Visual Novels, this is your game.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    I wanted Kapital: Sparks of Revolution to continue running with the city-survival genre that Frostpunkput into place, and while it is definitely the relaxing, low-stress city-builder of my dreams, it is not the difficult experience it markets itself as. You may struggle for the first hour or two before really settling into a utopian paradise, but you will get to that point of smooth sailing sooner or later. For a game about revolution, the only thing revolutionary here is how chill it is; Kapital: Sparks of Revolution is fun and addicting, but it’s hardly the stressful city-survival simulator it tries to be. I’m more than okay with that, but are you?
    • 88 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    AI: The Somnium Files – nirvanA Initiative isn’t a perfect game, but it offers one of the best mysteries I’ve ever seen in a game. Combine that with a wonderful cast and somnium sequences that blow away the original game, and you have a visual novel that is a must-play for anyone interested in the genre. AI: The Somnium Files was minor Uchikosi, but nirvanA Initiative stands among his best work.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Hero’s Hour may look like a simple game, and truthfully it can be if that’s what you want, but dig a little deeper and you’ll discover some surprising details. And while it definitely deserves the comparisons it receives to Heroes of Might and Magic, Hero’s Hour unfolds into something all on its own if you let it speak for itself. Whether you want a casual or complex experience, Hero’s Hour provides both — wrapped up in a glorious pixel art turn-based strategy RPG.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Ultimately, how much enjoyment you get out of Fobia depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re just dying for gripping gunplay with myriad monsters to encounter, there’s no denying that you’ll probably be pretty disappointed with what this title has to offer. But if you can look beyond its rougher edges, Fobia – St. Dinfna Hotel offers tantalizingly terrifying accommodations for survival horror fans.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    I really enjoyed my time with We Were Here Forever. Sure, I played it during finals at school and after long, long days at work, so my brain frequently was already overworked, and sure, I had to laugh at myself very, very frequently for overlooking obvious things and overthinking puzzles. But there’s something to be said for the sense of accomplishment for figuring out some genuinely wild puzzles. We Were Here Forever is one long, brilliantly designed escape room puzzle that requires constant communication between players, making for a truly unique experience that will be hard to replicate. I definitely recommend grabbing a good friend and diving in. You won’t regret it.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Despite a few rough spots in the experience, I’m still very happy I was able to review Firegirl DX. It’s a lot of fun playing rogue games on my Switch, since they’re so custom-tailored to a more portable mode of gaming. While there are some minor glitches and design flaws that hold the game back, fans of the rogue genre should enjoy this utterly unique firefighting experience.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Card Shark is absolutely the most thrilling card game out there, made even more impressive by the fact that you don’t actually do much by way of playing cards. This scintillating sleight of hand title has inadvertently taught me a lot about card tricks, all set to gorgeous Baroque music and stunningly illustrated scenes. The mechanics may feel a little difficult at times due to an onslaught of varied controls, but once you master them, you’ll feel like a card comte(ss) yourself. If you want something enthralling with high production value and even higher stakes, Card Shark can deal you in.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Words fail me when it comes to Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery. A stunning tribute to a love borne of all the things that should have been said but were kept within, Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery made me full-on sob after witnessing its incredible beauty. Fans of Miyazaki films will come for the art style but stay for the tear-jerking story that will paint their hearts with the colors of every raw and real emotion portrayed. If you’re ready to cry — and then, after that, cry some more — Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery awaits your brush.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Capcom Fighting Collection is a must-own for Darkstalkers fans, but even those who aren’t in love with the series should consider it. There’s enough variety in titles, interesting games which could use more exposure, and beloved classics which hold up, to keep players busy for a long time. Add in excellent supplemental materials and killer online play and it stands among the best fighting game collections ever released.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    If you’re looking for an unabashedly old-school brawler that doesn’t pull any punches, Final Vendetta certainly delivers that much. But only the most patient of pugilists will be able to get the most out of this package.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Biomotor Unitron is a competent dungeon crawler and mech-building RPG. Little about it is bad, but little is interesting, and it’s very much a game of its time. The biggest issue with recommending it today is that the Switch in 2022 is not the Neo Geo Pocket Color in 1999. That system desperately needed a competent RPG, and Biomotor Unitron was able to fill that hole. The Switch doesn’t need that, though. Between classic releases and new titles, it has one of the strongest RPG lineups any system has ever seen. In that context, it’s hard to recommend it to many players today.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    As someone that was curious about the first iteration of the game, I’m happy to have reviewed Horgihugh and Friends. It’s easily the definitive edition of the game, a charming and challenging Shmup that is well balanced and forgiving to newer players. While boss battles are the highlight, you’ll still have a lot of fun blasting your way through the Gozarean hordes—a game I can easily recommend to fans of the genre.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    If you’ve ever wondered “what’s the absolute bare minimum exercise I can do in a video game” Burnit Quest might be the answer you’re looking for. This is probably the best video game for people who have all the excuses in the world not to workout but should really just get up and move for a few minutes throughout the day (AKA, me). Although I do wish the controls were less clunky when it comes to punching and jumping, I feel like I got what I came for, which is some decent cardio in-between my real-life work meetings. If you’re looking for an exercise video game to jumpstart your fitness in a seriously undemanding way, Burnit Quest will help you pick up the pace.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Cowards who love horror games, rejoice! For in TAPE: Unveil The Memories we have a psychological thriller title that offers plenty of eerie ambiance without a total barrage of cheap jumpscares. Oh sure, there’s definitely a haunting tale to be had here, but one that will only raise the blood pressure a little bit. If you’re looking for a standard horror game experience, you’ll have to look elsewhere, but if you’re after a thriller game that offers an interesting puzzle mechanic and a scintillating story full of secrets to uncover, TAPE: Unveil The Memories is just waiting for you to press play.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Bad Writer feels uncomfortably realistic at times. Sure, it sometimes feels good (or maybe even necessary) to spend all day in bed or chilling in front of the TV, but the depression that follows afterwards can be all too real. Although it feels perhaps a little too short, there’s something oddly special about Bad Writer; the dread and excitement of trying to follow your dreams, the anxiety of waiting to discover if your work was accepted or rejected, and the daily struggle are all surprisingly poignant. If you’re looking for a unique life-sim that won’t always be particularly relaxing, Bad Writer might be the game for you.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    The Caligula Effect 2 is far from unique. It wears its influences front and center and isn’t quite on the same level as any of the modern Persona titles. There are only a few of those, though, and if you’ve played them and want something more, then The Caligula Effect 2 is absolutely worth checking out. With an interesting battle system, appealing characters, and a killer soundtrack, I consistently had a good time until the credits rolled.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Look, I know I've been piling on the praise in this review, but believe me when I say this is a game that deserves every last bit of it. I’ve probably played hundreds of beat-'em-ups over the years. However, precious few manage to do what Dotemu and Tribute Games have managed to do here. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge is nothing short of lightning in a bottle; one of those rare examples of a game that simply doesn’t miss a beat from the moment it starts until the credits roll. Sure, you may come for the nostalgia and irresistible retro-inspired presentation, but it’s the rock-solid core mechanics that offer the perfect balance of depth and approachability that will keep you coming back time and time again. If that sounds even remotely up your alley, then go, ninja, go, ninja, go and add this game to your collection. It’s a true testament to Turtle Power.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story is absolutely one of the better murder mystery FMVs out there, bringing together acting portions with interesting mechanics and a stellar story with a surprising twist. Although the mechanics did feel a bit at odds with each other at times, it doesn’t stop The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story from being a truly fascinating experience that was hard to put down. If you love a good murder mystery that plays like a movie but makes you feel like you’re reading an Agatha Christie novel (albeit in Japan), The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story has waited a century for you to try it out.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The Darkside Detective: A Fumble in the Dark’s new levels mean it’s absolutely time to play this spooky pixel art gem. With nine spooky cases to solve as Detective McQueen with Officer Dooley by your side, the occult simply doesn’t stand a chance. Don’t let this pixel art point and click haunt your backlog any longer — pick up The Darkside Detective: A Fumble in the Dark and crack the original six scenarios plus the three new bonus cases before they drag you to the Dark Side.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Much like its inspiration, Freezer Pops is a one-note experience. We all know the narrative is just a flimsy pretext for getting these guys into ostensibly sexy situations. It only takes a few hours to complete, and there’s little reason to revisit it. It’s kind of a wild ride while it lasts, though.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I really wanted to love Kao the Kangaroo. And while I did enjoy parts of it, the severe glitch I encountered kept me from progressing like I had expected to and effectively kept me from actually beating the game. Once Nintendo gets around to implementing the patch, I could potentially recommend the experience. But until version 1.2 goes live, I cannot recommend it to other platformer fans in good conscience.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Touken Ranbu Warriors is an extremely difficult sell for fans of Omega Force’s previous work, given how stripped back a product it is. Small scale battles that can be over in minutes, along with a complete absence of any meaningful progression or grind, completely rip the heart and soul from the now infamous 1 vs. 1000 formula. If you’re a fan of the Touken Ranbu franchise who has yet to sample a Warriors game, then you may find some joy in the depiction of the Touken Ranbu universe and the accessible nature of everything. For everyone else, however, it’s safe to say you can avoid this and hold out for the imminent release of Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes, which should hopefully have a little more meat on its bones for longtime Musou fans.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Overall, I enjoyed my time with the game. Divination is unique, and explores some pretty intense topics, with an appropriately dark art style to match its themes. It definitely gives off vibes of those 80’s dystopian sci-fi films, which all focus on the same question: are any of us truly in charge of our own fates?
    • 72 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Just in case I haven’t made it clear enough, Souldiers is absolutely a modern-day classic. It’s also in the running for my favorite game of 2022—it’s really just that good. Between its engaging level design, gorgeous visual appearance, addictive combat mechanics, and its class-based system giving it three times the replaybility… you really owe it to yourself to get this game if you consider yourself a Metroidvania fan.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Trying to shove so many different gameplay styles for all of these guest characters was definitely ambitious and I applaud the developers for trying, but next time around I’d much rather they focus on moving this series forward and making the best Cotton game they can.
    • 88 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Rogue Legacy 2 offers so many options when it comes to classes, upgrades, and ways to play it that anyone remotely open to the roguelite genre should check it out. I might have asked for a bit more direction in how to approach certain upgrade paths since the volume of choices can be borderline overwhelming, but it’s a minor quibble when everything else about the game is so fantastic. Rogue Legacy 2’s memorable world and overflowing personality will keep you invested until the very end.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong does wonderfully with creating an engaging atmosphere and has some legitimately creative ideas, but its overall execution still leaves much to be desired. I can appreciate an entirely combat-free RPG, but I think that you’re going to have to do more than occasionally let players unlock certain dialogue choices or bypass locks by leveling up specific skills. I’m not too worried, though. This series has been going on for a long time, and while this game may have Swansong in its title, I doubt it’s the last Vampire: The Masquerade game we’ll be seeing. And, hopefully, the next one will have just a little bit more polish.

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