Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,715 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 The Rogue Prince of Persia
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1715 game reviews
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Bad Writer feels uncomfortably realistic at times. Sure, it sometimes feels good (or maybe even necessary) to spend all day in bed or chilling in front of the TV, but the depression that follows afterwards can be all too real. Although it feels perhaps a little too short, there’s something oddly special about Bad Writer; the dread and excitement of trying to follow your dreams, the anxiety of waiting to discover if your work was accepted or rejected, and the daily struggle are all surprisingly poignant. If you’re looking for a unique life-sim that won’t always be particularly relaxing, Bad Writer might be the game for you.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    The Caligula Effect 2 is far from unique. It wears its influences front and center and isn’t quite on the same level as any of the modern Persona titles. There are only a few of those, though, and if you’ve played them and want something more, then The Caligula Effect 2 is absolutely worth checking out. With an interesting battle system, appealing characters, and a killer soundtrack, I consistently had a good time until the credits rolled.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Look, I know I've been piling on the praise in this review, but believe me when I say this is a game that deserves every last bit of it. I’ve probably played hundreds of beat-'em-ups over the years. However, precious few manage to do what Dotemu and Tribute Games have managed to do here. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge is nothing short of lightning in a bottle; one of those rare examples of a game that simply doesn’t miss a beat from the moment it starts until the credits roll. Sure, you may come for the nostalgia and irresistible retro-inspired presentation, but it’s the rock-solid core mechanics that offer the perfect balance of depth and approachability that will keep you coming back time and time again. If that sounds even remotely up your alley, then go, ninja, go, ninja, go and add this game to your collection. It’s a true testament to Turtle Power.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story is absolutely one of the better murder mystery FMVs out there, bringing together acting portions with interesting mechanics and a stellar story with a surprising twist. Although the mechanics did feel a bit at odds with each other at times, it doesn’t stop The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story from being a truly fascinating experience that was hard to put down. If you love a good murder mystery that plays like a movie but makes you feel like you’re reading an Agatha Christie novel (albeit in Japan), The Centennial Case: A Shijima Story has waited a century for you to try it out.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The Darkside Detective: A Fumble in the Dark’s new levels mean it’s absolutely time to play this spooky pixel art gem. With nine spooky cases to solve as Detective McQueen with Officer Dooley by your side, the occult simply doesn’t stand a chance. Don’t let this pixel art point and click haunt your backlog any longer — pick up The Darkside Detective: A Fumble in the Dark and crack the original six scenarios plus the three new bonus cases before they drag you to the Dark Side.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Critic Score
    Much like its inspiration, Freezer Pops is a one-note experience. We all know the narrative is just a flimsy pretext for getting these guys into ostensibly sexy situations. It only takes a few hours to complete, and there’s little reason to revisit it. It’s kind of a wild ride while it lasts, though.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I really wanted to love Kao the Kangaroo. And while I did enjoy parts of it, the severe glitch I encountered kept me from progressing like I had expected to and effectively kept me from actually beating the game. Once Nintendo gets around to implementing the patch, I could potentially recommend the experience. But until version 1.2 goes live, I cannot recommend it to other platformer fans in good conscience.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Touken Ranbu Warriors is an extremely difficult sell for fans of Omega Force’s previous work, given how stripped back a product it is. Small scale battles that can be over in minutes, along with a complete absence of any meaningful progression or grind, completely rip the heart and soul from the now infamous 1 vs. 1000 formula. If you’re a fan of the Touken Ranbu franchise who has yet to sample a Warriors game, then you may find some joy in the depiction of the Touken Ranbu universe and the accessible nature of everything. For everyone else, however, it’s safe to say you can avoid this and hold out for the imminent release of Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes, which should hopefully have a little more meat on its bones for longtime Musou fans.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Overall, I enjoyed my time with the game. Divination is unique, and explores some pretty intense topics, with an appropriately dark art style to match its themes. It definitely gives off vibes of those 80’s dystopian sci-fi films, which all focus on the same question: are any of us truly in charge of our own fates?
    • 72 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Just in case I haven’t made it clear enough, Souldiers is absolutely a modern-day classic. It’s also in the running for my favorite game of 2022—it’s really just that good. Between its engaging level design, gorgeous visual appearance, addictive combat mechanics, and its class-based system giving it three times the replaybility… you really owe it to yourself to get this game if you consider yourself a Metroidvania fan.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Trying to shove so many different gameplay styles for all of these guest characters was definitely ambitious and I applaud the developers for trying, but next time around I’d much rather they focus on moving this series forward and making the best Cotton game they can.
    • 88 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Rogue Legacy 2 offers so many options when it comes to classes, upgrades, and ways to play it that anyone remotely open to the roguelite genre should check it out. I might have asked for a bit more direction in how to approach certain upgrade paths since the volume of choices can be borderline overwhelming, but it’s a minor quibble when everything else about the game is so fantastic. Rogue Legacy 2’s memorable world and overflowing personality will keep you invested until the very end.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong does wonderfully with creating an engaging atmosphere and has some legitimately creative ideas, but its overall execution still leaves much to be desired. I can appreciate an entirely combat-free RPG, but I think that you’re going to have to do more than occasionally let players unlock certain dialogue choices or bypass locks by leveling up specific skills. I’m not too worried, though. This series has been going on for a long time, and while this game may have Swansong in its title, I doubt it’s the last Vampire: The Masquerade game we’ll be seeing. And, hopefully, the next one will have just a little bit more polish.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    For long-time fans of Miku, those who just want to dive into their favorite songs and challenge themselves, Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA Mega Mix+ is a dream. The pure variety of songs available and the series’ trademark gameplay will keep them busy for a long time, and that’s not even accounting for the options that the series being available on PC will provide to the community. While new players may find the lack of gameplay modes a bit off-putting, smart choices like challenge time should help them ease their way into the series’ style if they stick with it.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Despite not being drawn in by the hunt for high scores, the interesting twists TOKOYO puts on action platforming did grab my attention. Movement feels great, and having to approach situations with combat as a last resort instead of my main plan required me to think my way up the Tower of Perpetuity. If that sounds like it’s for you, then definitely check this one out.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    You can’t make a premise like this up, folks. You’re a flying saucer abducting alien cows and there’s just something funny and wacky about it all. Yet, I walked away from Moo Lander rather impressed at the level of quality here. While the titular cow battles do need some revamping to bring in the fun factor, I can easily forgive that for the gorgeous art, very competent and solid gameplay, and surprisingly in-depth worldbuilding. If you’re looking for something a little out-of-this-world to spice up your starry night, take a flight to the neatest Metroidvania this side of the Milky Way.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Sniper Elite 5 opts for refinement over reinvention, and that’s absolutely fine when the building blocks of its predecessor were already stellar. Its tense sniping action and massive sandboxes are best in class for the series, allowing for creativity and player agency in a way that so few action games do. If you can overlook a narrative that suffers from fatigue due to its subject matter and the somewhat clumsy way in which Karl interacts with his surroundings, then Sniper Elite 5 and its open-ended approach to gameplay provide a stunning, experimental sandbox that you will likely find yourself returning to again and again.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    RiffTrax: The Game is a must-have for fans of RiffTrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000, but it also belongs in the library of anyone who loves laugh-out-loud party games like What the Dub andQuiplash. Even if those titles don’t immediately tickle your funny bone upon reading them, it’s hard to argue with the price, considering how many people can play for hours on end. If you can’t help but watch a good bad movie with your mouth, RiffTrax: The Game is absolutely for you.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    You can have a lot of fun with Nintendo Switch Sports, whether online or in-person with friends. If you’re playing alone, though, its severe lack of content won’t keep you busy for long. Of course, that would be forgivable if it were a pack-in like the game that spawned this series, but as a game you have to actually purchase, players should expect more.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    While I’m a little disappointed that the Switch version of Guild of Dungeoneering Ultimate Edition falls short of its potential, it still offers a ton of fun for fans of challenging deck-based mayhem. Especially if you want to try your luck with Hardcore Mode. But if you enjoy funny and diverse adventures that you can play from the comfort of your couch (or comfiest chair), you absolutely still need to buy this on Nintendo Switch.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    While it’s true Floppy Knights isn’t quite a perfect experience, it came damned close. Sure, I’d love a reason to play the game longer, such as DLC levels or even something like a level creator, but that doesn’t change the quality of what’s already here. Floppy Knights is a fun game with a well-balanced challenge, good variety, and lovable characters. Even better, the whole thing plays remarkably well with just a mouse, though there are other controller options as well. So if you enjoy tactical mayhem and are looking for the next best thing, be sure and add this one to your Steam library.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Damien Crawford’s Golf Experience 2022 may seem like a silly title to the uninitiated, but for those who know Damien Crawford — you know, the dev who graced us with I Have Low Stats But My Class Is “Leader”, So I Recruited Everyone I Know To Fight The Dark Lord — that’s about as descriptive as a game can get. It’s a golf experience, certainly, but a purposely painful one to really drive home that feeling of fumbling around on a range for the very first time, complete with Cannibal Interactive’s patented brand of humor. Damien Crawford’s Golf Experience 2022 is a game none of us will ever master, and that’s the point — cheers to eternal mediocrity. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a golf game to get back to — I think I can get this next hole done in less than 300 strokes if I really concentrate…
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    While Wildcat Gun Machine is a worthy first attempt by Chunkybox Games, it nevertheless doesn’t do much to elevate itself beyond the games that obviously inspired it. I wouldn’t say it needs to be a rogue-like, but there are so many elements of the game I feel would have been improved if it were. And while I don’t mind the challenge, it can get pretty unforgiving, which is sure to turn off many gamers. But if you’re a fan of twin-stick shooters and bullet hell and love hideous monsters, this might be for you.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Seven Pirates H is a flawed but enjoyable game. An extremely unique system of leveling up, a light-hearted plot, and a cast of adorable characters somehow manages to mix charming and lewd in a surprisingly effective way. Unfortunately, the game is hampered by uninspired dungeons, combat that eventually grows repetitive (especially considering enemies tend to be far, far weaker than boss fights, which can be a slog), and an over-reliance on the booby training gimmick. Perhaps the game’s most damning flaw is my least favorite design choice ever: forcing players to revisit every single dungeon to fight a new boss as part of the story. Still, even with the obvious flaws, if you’re looking for a silly RPG with over-the-top fanservice, Seven Pirates H is very, very likely to scratch that itch.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Evil Dead: The Game is an experience that oozes with an appreciation of the source material from every pore, whilst also providing a gameplay experience that delivers fun and frights in spades. For players looking to dig deep into character progression and team compositions, there’s an absolute wealth of content available to progress through and experiment with. Whilst the teething issues when it comes to balance cannot be ignored, even these struggle to prevent me from hopping back in given how much fun can still be had, despite the need for Saber Interactive to create a more even playing field. If you love asymmetrical multiplayer or the Evil Dead, then grab those boomsticks, you won’t be disappointed.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The survival genre rarely manages to surprise these days, given how saturated it has become, but Deadcraft manages to do just that. By executing well upon familiar mechanics whilst adding its own meaningful spin on things, Deadcraft manages to overcome its lack of visual identity by providing an extremely satisfying, innovative, and accessible take on the usual survival tropes. Even if you’re someone who shies away from survival games due to their typically unwelcoming nature, Deadcraft’s action RPG first, survival game second mentality has resulted in a product that I think will be capable of enjoyment by anyone, given the chance.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    This game's impressive just by virtue of it being Massive Work Studios' first. But it wouldn't be fair to only give it credit for that reason. Dolmen is a fun, and exciting cosmic horror-themed soulslike whose unique (and successful!) inclusion of ranged combat helps it to stand out from its peers. If this is just the beginning of what Massive Work Studios have to offer, I can't wait to see what's in store for us down the road.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Other than the aforementioned problems with the doll-finding puzzles and the frame rate hiccups, this is an intriguing game. Sorrowvirus explores the endless death-and-rebirth cycle of poor Wyatt, with each successful playthrough shifting the dialogue, the information learned, and the very look of his personal Purgatory, all underscored by an incredibly haunting melody. You’re certain to be left wondering if immortality is really as promising as it sounds.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    I ended Unpacking with a huge smile on my face. Offering a truly unique storytelling experience, one few games can really compare to, I loved seeing a developer very much go their own way and try something different, especially since it all came together so wonderfully. Combine that with the zen-like comforts of designing these various rooms, and Unpacking is a game that players should definitely unpack. Now to get back to unpacking my own stuff.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Brigandine: The Legend of Runersia offers an intriguing point of entry with a story told from many different perspectives, a ton of gameplay over its many campaigns, and a ton of options to strategize and plan out your upcoming attacks. I may wish the attacks themselves were more exciting or that the story had more payoff, but those who are fans of both traditional strategy RPGs and more PC style strategy titles will still find this interesting hybrid worth a look.

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