Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,734 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 Hitman: World of Assassination
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1734 game reviews
    • 82 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    For long-time fans of Miku, those who just want to dive into their favorite songs and challenge themselves, Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA Mega Mix+ is a dream. The pure variety of songs available and the series’ trademark gameplay will keep them busy for a long time, and that’s not even accounting for the options that the series being available on PC will provide to the community. While new players may find the lack of gameplay modes a bit off-putting, smart choices like challenge time should help them ease their way into the series’ style if they stick with it.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Despite not being drawn in by the hunt for high scores, the interesting twists TOKOYO puts on action platforming did grab my attention. Movement feels great, and having to approach situations with combat as a last resort instead of my main plan required me to think my way up the Tower of Perpetuity. If that sounds like it’s for you, then definitely check this one out.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    You can’t make a premise like this up, folks. You’re a flying saucer abducting alien cows and there’s just something funny and wacky about it all. Yet, I walked away from Moo Lander rather impressed at the level of quality here. While the titular cow battles do need some revamping to bring in the fun factor, I can easily forgive that for the gorgeous art, very competent and solid gameplay, and surprisingly in-depth worldbuilding. If you’re looking for something a little out-of-this-world to spice up your starry night, take a flight to the neatest Metroidvania this side of the Milky Way.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Sniper Elite 5 opts for refinement over reinvention, and that’s absolutely fine when the building blocks of its predecessor were already stellar. Its tense sniping action and massive sandboxes are best in class for the series, allowing for creativity and player agency in a way that so few action games do. If you can overlook a narrative that suffers from fatigue due to its subject matter and the somewhat clumsy way in which Karl interacts with his surroundings, then Sniper Elite 5 and its open-ended approach to gameplay provide a stunning, experimental sandbox that you will likely find yourself returning to again and again.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    RiffTrax: The Game is a must-have for fans of RiffTrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000, but it also belongs in the library of anyone who loves laugh-out-loud party games like What the Dub andQuiplash. Even if those titles don’t immediately tickle your funny bone upon reading them, it’s hard to argue with the price, considering how many people can play for hours on end. If you can’t help but watch a good bad movie with your mouth, RiffTrax: The Game is absolutely for you.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    You can have a lot of fun with Nintendo Switch Sports, whether online or in-person with friends. If you’re playing alone, though, its severe lack of content won’t keep you busy for long. Of course, that would be forgivable if it were a pack-in like the game that spawned this series, but as a game you have to actually purchase, players should expect more.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    While I’m a little disappointed that the Switch version of Guild of Dungeoneering Ultimate Edition falls short of its potential, it still offers a ton of fun for fans of challenging deck-based mayhem. Especially if you want to try your luck with Hardcore Mode. But if you enjoy funny and diverse adventures that you can play from the comfort of your couch (or comfiest chair), you absolutely still need to buy this on Nintendo Switch.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    While it’s true Floppy Knights isn’t quite a perfect experience, it came damned close. Sure, I’d love a reason to play the game longer, such as DLC levels or even something like a level creator, but that doesn’t change the quality of what’s already here. Floppy Knights is a fun game with a well-balanced challenge, good variety, and lovable characters. Even better, the whole thing plays remarkably well with just a mouse, though there are other controller options as well. So if you enjoy tactical mayhem and are looking for the next best thing, be sure and add this one to your Steam library.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Damien Crawford’s Golf Experience 2022 may seem like a silly title to the uninitiated, but for those who know Damien Crawford — you know, the dev who graced us with I Have Low Stats But My Class Is “Leader”, So I Recruited Everyone I Know To Fight The Dark Lord — that’s about as descriptive as a game can get. It’s a golf experience, certainly, but a purposely painful one to really drive home that feeling of fumbling around on a range for the very first time, complete with Cannibal Interactive’s patented brand of humor. Damien Crawford’s Golf Experience 2022 is a game none of us will ever master, and that’s the point — cheers to eternal mediocrity. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a golf game to get back to — I think I can get this next hole done in less than 300 strokes if I really concentrate…
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    While Wildcat Gun Machine is a worthy first attempt by Chunkybox Games, it nevertheless doesn’t do much to elevate itself beyond the games that obviously inspired it. I wouldn’t say it needs to be a rogue-like, but there are so many elements of the game I feel would have been improved if it were. And while I don’t mind the challenge, it can get pretty unforgiving, which is sure to turn off many gamers. But if you’re a fan of twin-stick shooters and bullet hell and love hideous monsters, this might be for you.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Seven Pirates H is a flawed but enjoyable game. An extremely unique system of leveling up, a light-hearted plot, and a cast of adorable characters somehow manages to mix charming and lewd in a surprisingly effective way. Unfortunately, the game is hampered by uninspired dungeons, combat that eventually grows repetitive (especially considering enemies tend to be far, far weaker than boss fights, which can be a slog), and an over-reliance on the booby training gimmick. Perhaps the game’s most damning flaw is my least favorite design choice ever: forcing players to revisit every single dungeon to fight a new boss as part of the story. Still, even with the obvious flaws, if you’re looking for a silly RPG with over-the-top fanservice, Seven Pirates H is very, very likely to scratch that itch.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Evil Dead: The Game is an experience that oozes with an appreciation of the source material from every pore, whilst also providing a gameplay experience that delivers fun and frights in spades. For players looking to dig deep into character progression and team compositions, there’s an absolute wealth of content available to progress through and experiment with. Whilst the teething issues when it comes to balance cannot be ignored, even these struggle to prevent me from hopping back in given how much fun can still be had, despite the need for Saber Interactive to create a more even playing field. If you love asymmetrical multiplayer or the Evil Dead, then grab those boomsticks, you won’t be disappointed.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The survival genre rarely manages to surprise these days, given how saturated it has become, but Deadcraft manages to do just that. By executing well upon familiar mechanics whilst adding its own meaningful spin on things, Deadcraft manages to overcome its lack of visual identity by providing an extremely satisfying, innovative, and accessible take on the usual survival tropes. Even if you’re someone who shies away from survival games due to their typically unwelcoming nature, Deadcraft’s action RPG first, survival game second mentality has resulted in a product that I think will be capable of enjoyment by anyone, given the chance.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    This game's impressive just by virtue of it being Massive Work Studios' first. But it wouldn't be fair to only give it credit for that reason. Dolmen is a fun, and exciting cosmic horror-themed soulslike whose unique (and successful!) inclusion of ranged combat helps it to stand out from its peers. If this is just the beginning of what Massive Work Studios have to offer, I can't wait to see what's in store for us down the road.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Other than the aforementioned problems with the doll-finding puzzles and the frame rate hiccups, this is an intriguing game. Sorrowvirus explores the endless death-and-rebirth cycle of poor Wyatt, with each successful playthrough shifting the dialogue, the information learned, and the very look of his personal Purgatory, all underscored by an incredibly haunting melody. You’re certain to be left wondering if immortality is really as promising as it sounds.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    I ended Unpacking with a huge smile on my face. Offering a truly unique storytelling experience, one few games can really compare to, I loved seeing a developer very much go their own way and try something different, especially since it all came together so wonderfully. Combine that with the zen-like comforts of designing these various rooms, and Unpacking is a game that players should definitely unpack. Now to get back to unpacking my own stuff.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Brigandine: The Legend of Runersia offers an intriguing point of entry with a story told from many different perspectives, a ton of gameplay over its many campaigns, and a ton of options to strategize and plan out your upcoming attacks. I may wish the attacks themselves were more exciting or that the story had more payoff, but those who are fans of both traditional strategy RPGs and more PC style strategy titles will still find this interesting hybrid worth a look.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    If Postal 4: No Regerts was released 15 years ago it would just be buggy, ugly and dumb. Since it’s released today, it’s also very dated in its lame scatological humor. With an endless focus on making you do tedious errands, it can take a while before you get to the actual homicidal mania, and when you do, it’s a janky, repetitive letdown. Unless you’re the world’s biggest fan of poop and penis jokes, Postal 4: No Regerts is as much fun as watching someone laugh at their own farts.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Insurmountable’s 2.0 update brings all the missing content that the original release desperately needed; while the new stuff is anything but cozy, it is challenging, which is the exact kind of thing players who love survival games are looking for. Insurmountable revitalizes the tired roguelike genre with its new setting and careful, slow-going mechanics, but it can feel a bit stale after a summit or two so it’s best to play this one in short bursts. If you’re always searching for that something over the next mountaintop, Insurmountable is cooler than cool — it’s ice cold.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Get-a-Grip Chip, and its educational sequel, is a charming platformer with a ton of heart. Its simple mechanics and complex designs will get your heart racing and your fingers twitching. For such a tiny robot, there sure is a lot to love here. Hopefully, we won’t have to wait too long for Chip’s next adventure.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    A creative and clever experience from start to finish, Dungeons of Dreadrock simply should not be missed. It’s a brilliant little puzzler and an endearing homage to both dungeon crawlers and action-puzzlers. Just be prepared to die, and remember, there’s no shame in getting a hint or two (or five).
    • 82 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    It’s impossible not to think about what real people in different parts of the world are going through right now when playing This War of Mine in 2022. That’s part of the point. Buying a video game perhaps isn’t the best way to support those people, but This War of Mine: Final Cut captures the true horror of war in a way that few video games will even try, let alone succeed, and for that, it’s an absolute must-play. If you’re like me and waited nearly eight years to check This War of Mine out, it’s time to fix that mistake.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Dandy & Randy DX isn’t perfect, but it’s also a lot of fun for fans of retro gaming. While it doesn’t do a ton to elevate itself above the pack, there is one clever twist before the end of the game that made the entire experience that much more enjoyable. And honestly, for the price point, it’s hard to argue much with what the game accomplishes. If you have an interest in snappy, retro-inspired romps, be sure and check this one out.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    I went into Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising cynically expecting a title that would serve as nothing more than an appetizer for its bigger JRPG sibling that we can expect next year. I couldn’t have been more wrong as Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising is much, much more than that. With its gorgeous art direction, stylish combat, and substantial content offering, it’s a game that arguably offers more than it needed to. If you can make it past the slowish opening act, you’ll find that Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising is a title that is more than capable of standing on its own, to the extent where I can’t help but recommend it, irrespective of whether you are excited for Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes or not.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Salt and Sacrifice isn’t just a great game, but a great sequel. It’s the result of building upon the things that worked so well in the first game, tweaking the things that might not have worked so well, and cleverly taking the occasional mechanical risk here and there in order to ensure that Salt and Sacrifice truly felt like its own game instead of just “Salt and Sanctuary 2.” It’s fun, frantic, and frustrating in all the right ways, and I’m incredibly happy with what Ska Studios has given us. Salt and Sanctuary was able to build such a large community around it and stick around for such a long time because of how high-quality it was at the time of its release. I’m sure that Salt and Sacrifice will manage to surpass those heights.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 70 Critic Score
    Re:Turn 2 – Runaway may not be perfect, but it ironed out enough of the bumps present within the original Re:Turn to keep me hopeful. Shortcomings aside I still really enjoy the series that Red Ego has been building for us, and I’m hoping that they’ll continue to improve with yet another return to the series in the future. If they do, I’m sure that it’ll be even better than what we’ve got, now!
    • tbd Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Kraken Academy!! surprised me with its zany humor and delightful time-looping mechanics. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment I spent on campus, making friends with classmates by bringing a goat to a horse race, going on QTE dates, and summoning poop demons (don’t ask). If you enjoy seriously creative — and seriously crazy — games that take outlandish writing to the next level, Kraken Academy!! is now accepting students.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Ghost on the Shore is a short, beautiful experience. Accompanied by nothing more than the voice of Josh in your head, you’ll travel across three islands, piecing together what happened along the way. Every answer you give to Josh’s questions will affect your relationship with him, ultimately affecting the outcome of the whole game. I found myself surprisingly emotional more than once during my experience. Ghost on the Shore is more than just a ghost story; it’s a look into what remains of us after death, both real and metaphysical.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Even with those annoyances mentioned, LEGO Builder’s Journey is an experience I can’t help but recommend, both to fans of puzzle games and anyone who enjoys a slower, more thoughtful experience. Going into LEGO Builder’s Journey, I couldn’t help but wonder where the “Journey” element would come in. Having played it, however, I think it’s clear that the intent was to bring the player on a journey of emotion, something I can safely say was achieved. It may not resonate with everyone in the way in which it resonated with me, but I think that’s the beauty of it, as this is a game that is likely to mean many different things, to many different people. And, even if you’re a hardened soul who refuses to be moved by plastic bricks, it’s not a half-bad puzzle game to boot.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Honestly, the only negative I could level at Super Mega Zero is that it may be too difficult for some gamers. Otherwise, it’s nearly a perfect experience. If you’re a fan of puzzle platformers and enjoy the retro aesthetic, you absolutely need to pick this game up. Even with all the math present, this is a game I truly adore.

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