No amount of sentiment can raise this game above the average. [Sept 2007, p.120]

The combat ideas are awfully implemented. [Issue#141, p.108]

The non-existent friendly AI combined with the relentless assault of dull attackers makes The Simpsons an almost depressing experience. It doesn’t feel quite right to be laughing when you’re not enjoying yourself. [Chrismas 2007, p.120]

Clichéd, generic, bland, boring and infuriating. [Mar 2008, p.120]

The game is so immensely frustrating and linear that moments of fun are few and far between. [Apr 2006, p.124]

Boasts little to enthral any but the most diehard of fans. [Issue#162, p.100]

It's not that this is a bad game, but to ignore the more important elements of gameplay in order to add more gratuitous elements to the cauldron is unforgivable, and in that sense The Suffering is most similar to Soldier of Fortune II and the like. [June 2004, p.123]

Kinect Star Wars is a hodgepodge of ideas that, either through the Kinect's limited functionality or slipshod execution, simply aren't cohesive enough to deliver the Star Wars experience that fans demand. Our advice? Go outside and pick up a stick.

Contrived shooter with little to no depth... This is as generic as they come. [July 2005, p.122]

Full credit to Vicarious Visions for creating a whole new game instead of porting the GameBoy Advance version to the DS but, unfortunately, it’s hard to tell what it achieved by doing so. [Jan 2005, p.121]

It’s a solid FPS, but its failure to provide a truly original take on an ever-tiring genre or something even vaguely resembling half-decent AI means that it could never be considered anything better than plain average. [Aug 2007, p.114]

When you reach a dead end, it's usually just a case of retrieving a generic puzzle item from a conveniently inconvenient hiding place before continuing. Cue several minutes of primitive platforming and beating up the undead with a functional combat system before the next 'mash the Triangle button until you find something interactive' session begins. [Nov 2003, p.126]

For all or its attractive locations and pleasant similarities to the films, it’s simply not an engaging game. [July 2007, p.117]

There’s a fun story to be experienced here, but it’s constantly halted by the lack of progression. Any notion of pace, suspension of disbelief or immersion is constantly shattered by obtuse puzzling, aimless wandering and wooden, static performances. [Nov 2006, p.104]

It's almost as though Jam can't decide what kind of fighting game it wants to be, thanks to a dramatic clash of styles in terms of both combat and visuals. [March 2005, p.118]

An overpriced, underdeveloped disappointment. [Issue#199, p.79]

It may be a technical marvel, a beautiful game of staggering scope and scale, but its gameplay is narrow, linear and never changes. [Chrismas 2007, p.122]

Yes, it’s bright and character-filled, but with such bewildering mechanics and erratic difficulty, there won’t be many youngsters that will tolerate it for any great length of time. [Mar 2008, p.135]

There's no doubt that you'll find a lot of praise for Episode II out there, since it addresses the physics issues with the first episode so well, but games™ can't honestly recommend a game so under-developed on quality controls alone.

Invasion's innocent looks and gameplay do have some cohesion and its very simplicity is its one saving grace. It's bubblegum for your mind and never offensive. If it had appeared five years ago at the same price it would come recommended for the younger gamer. [Feb 2005, p.108]

It’s harmless mass-market entertainment; the kind that any discerning gamer should already know to leave well alone. [Christmas 2005, p.116]

The design of the islands, which seem to have been put together with a random level generator, adds to the sensation that Wing Island is more of a tech demo than a carefully planned game. [Apr 2007, p.119]

Still thinking of buying this? You must be out of your mind. [Issue#106, p.106]

Things On Wheels is too pedestrian to catch on in the demanding Live Marketplace, and too frustrating to be fun. [Feb 2009, p.121]

Perhaps the biggest letdown of all is that Wario’s mischievous side is never allowed to flourish with few opportunities to create havoc in Kaitou Wario The Seven’s sprawling levels. [JPN Import; Apr 2007, p.108]

Feels like a trip back to the last generation. [Issue#99, p.122]

Certainly, many of Colonial Marines’ flaws could have been excusable back in the early days of the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3, but now, when every title is polished to a near excruciating level of quality, it just doesn’t cut it.

Despite glaring issues with aliasing and shaders, Sniper is a technically adept game. [Issue#99, p.126]