If robots ever do take over, I hope the human race doesn’t succumb to a force this stupid.

If robots ever do take over, I hope the human race doesn’t succumb to a force this stupid.

It's hard to forget the unresponsive controls, ludicrous story, and questionable combat encounters. The game is uneven and inconsistent enough to scare away even eager fans who have patiently waited 20 years for another swing. [June 2009, p.83]

It's hard to forget the unresponsive controls, ludicrous story, and questionable combat encounters. The game is uneven and inconsistent enough to scare away even eager fans who have patiently waited 20 years for another swing. [June 2009, p.83]

So many things could have gone horribly wrong, but the core single-player experience gets everything right. [June 2009, p.87]

Bombing runs can be fun, but navigating slow ships with even slower ammo reloads and babysitting units doesn’t add up to a riveting experience. Count this bored midshipman out.

Count this bored midshipman out. [July 2009, p.88]

Sacred 2 is fun for what it is, but ultimately fails to capture the old Diablo magic. Combat is nowhere near the tight, tactical paradise that Diablo II could reach in its better moments, and the framerate is a constant drag.

Sacred 2 is fun for what it is, but ultimately fails to capture the old Diablo magic. Combat is nowhere near the tight, tactical paradise that Diablo II could reach in its better moments, and the framerate is a constant drag.

This game serves its audience of hardcore fans well. However, at this point Patapon needs to take a cue from its titular characters and start the evolution ­process.

Despite all of these complaints, I can see fans of the original game enjoying this revival. It’s faithful to a fault, and I can think of plenty of older niche games that I would love to see get similar treatment. But if you’ve got no connection to the original, you’ll likely wonder what all of the fuss is about.

The game may lose steam as it goes, but the excellent combat still makes it worth the price of admission.

The game may lose steam as it goes, but the excellent combat still makes it worth the price of admission.

As Velvet Assassin’s story unfolds, a realization begins to dawn. Events have nothing to tie them together. No overarching plot shapes your gameplay experience. Instead, these are vignettes devoid of character or emotional resonance.

As Velvet Assassin's story unfolds, a realization begins to dawn. Events have nothing to tie them together. [July 2009, p.83]

The demon-like enemies, while apt enough in their personification of the evils that the crew brought on themselves, are brainlessly simple to slay. Similarly, the puzzles cleverly illustrate elements of the story but require little creative thought to solve.

Excitebots succeeds where Excite Truck didn’t. Monster Games didn’t just add features, it improved the whole formula.

From the unforgiving difficulty to the minimalist presentation, this title is a naked homage to antediluvian dungeon crawls. [May 2009, p.90]

Demigod is a solid implementation of a unique concept.

With Dark Athena releasing on all high-powered consoles, there is absolutely no excuse not to play this incredible game.

One of the year’s best deals in gaming.

Most of this game’s content is in betrayal of the license, and it’s not all smut, either. In one mission, you are tasked with assassinating Fidel Castro, an act that ends up being just as comedic as The Naked Gun’s assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth II. Unfortunately, the intent of this sequence isn’t to make ­players laugh.

Most of this game’s content is in betrayal of the license, and it’s not all smut, either. In one mission, you are tasked with assassinating Fidel Castro, an act that ends up being just as comedic as The Naked Gun’s assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth II. Unfortunately, the intent of this sequence isn’t to make ­players laugh.

Most of this game’s content is in betrayal of the license, and it’s not all smut, either. In one mission, you are tasked with assassinating Fidel Castro, an act that ends up being just as comedic as The Naked Gun’s assassination attempt on Queen Elizabeth II. Unfortunately, the intent of this sequence isn’t to make ­players laugh. [May 2009, p.82]

Gamers who spend the majority of their time in single-player modes should pass this one by. If you’re an online-focused player, though, Tales of Valor provides hours of amusement, especially if the community takes advantage of the excellent mod tools to flesh out the map selection.

The swordplay is silky smooth, and surprisingly deep – allowing players to upgrade weapons with experience earned to unlock additional attacks and powers for three swords.

One of the year’s best deals in gaming. [May 2009, p.78]

Botched DS implementation. [July 2009, p.83]