Simon Abrams
Select another critic »For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
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40% higher than the average critic
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6% same as the average critic
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54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics.
(0-100 point scale)
Simon Abrams' Scores
- Movies
- TV
| Average review score: | 55 | |
|---|---|---|
| Highest review score: | Viet and Nam | |
| Lowest review score: | Zookeeper | |
Score distribution:
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Positive: 390 out of 854
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Mixed: 239 out of 854
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Negative: 225 out of 854
854
movie
reviews
- By Date
- By Critic Score
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- Simon Abrams
Arthouse horror flick The Eyes of My Mother actively alienates viewers by presenting episodes in a woman's life from a post-human, God-like perspective. Sometimes. Usually. Probably?- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 2, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
What's most arresting is the way Mizgirev's vision of 1860s Russia shines through in the perspiration on Champagne goblets, the flicker of candlelight on faces, and the sheen of polished-steel dueling pistols.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 1, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Nothing can give shape or closure to Cave—and that's OK. Watching him continue his ongoing search for existential answers is comfort enough.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 1, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The makers of Evolution may dazzle viewers with an intoxicating visual style, but they never lose sight of Nicolas' humanity. Do not miss this film.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 25, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Okazaki gets close to, but never sheds enough light on, Mifune's elusive personality.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 23, 2016
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 18, 2016
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 11, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Dog Eat Dog may be successfully alienating, but that doesn't mean it's entertaining, thoughtful or even successfully provocative.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 4, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Die-hard X Japan fans may enjoy seeing Yoshiki talk about his past, but everyone else will leave We Are X wondering who X Japan is.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 2, 2016
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 21, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Sam's racist behavior may be intended to make him a menacing sign of our times, but such unbelievable mustache-twirling makes him as threatening as a C-grade Freddy Krueger knockoff.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 13, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Winningly over-the-top Korean gangster drama Asura: The City of Madness is what you'd get if you combined The Wire with a really good soap opera.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 13, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
You shouldn't watch Shin Godzilla for Godzilla alone. He's not really the star of the film—Yaguchi and the rest of his human adversaries are. They credibly resist the end of the world with ingenuity and teamwork, making Shin Godzilla just as winningly optimistic as it is pleasurably eccentric.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 11, 2016
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 7, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Ravager does have an internal logic that makes its time and subplot-jumping story easy to follow. But this new Phantasm will not be of interest to anyone who doesn't already know who the Tall Man is, or why he needs to be stopped.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 7, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Lifeless bromantic comedy Flock of Dudes has all the celebrity cameos and latent sexism of Judd Apatow's adult coming-of-age stories but none of the lowbrow wit and sensitivity.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 5, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
You may have seen parts of The Age of Shadows before, but they're rarely this well assembled.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 22, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
You know you're in trouble with a film when you're so bored by it that you wind up asking why things seem so implausible.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 16, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Quintana's emphasis on Jungian dream logic gives his otherwise spartan parable a compelling mythic dimension. The Vessel may bring Malick to mind, but it also feels like a major work by an exciting new talent.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 15, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
By emphasizing the uglier aspects of his most complex character, Lee turns an otherwise down-to-earth slice-of-life drama into an unconvincing morality play.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 14, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The horrors of Demon are disturbing because you can see how ordinary they might seem to anyone who isn't paying enough attention.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 9, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Antibirth is novel, mysterious, and sometimes even dangerous enough to suck you in if you surrender to its confrontational, avant garde style.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 2, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Yoga Hosers is tiring, and not because it's dumb or inherently obnoxious. No, as RogerEbert.com's resident Kevin Smith apologist, it pains me to say this, but: this movie should have been made by someone with more discipline.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 2, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Summer of 8 may be as sincere as a Hughes movie, but it's as shallow as a kiddy pool.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 1, 2016
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- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 1, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The arbitrary value of life in I Am Not a Serial Killer makes its nature as an ostensibly character-driven mystery that much harder to swallow. Don't bother with this nonsensical time-waster.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 26, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Italian drama Mia Madre is an either/or film, a humorous and poignant character study that frequently becomes an ensemble piece.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 26, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Kampai! feels like a manic ensemble drama that should have been a tight three-man show.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 18, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The kind of childish genre movie that gives genre movies a bad reputation.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 5, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Sun Choke is, after all, a melodrama, so you have to believe in Hagan's character. All of the impressionistic cinematography and special effects in the world couldn't save the film if you didn't care enough about Hagan's performance.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 5, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Co-writer/director Martin Owen downplays his conceit's most intriguing aspects — where are these kids' parents? — and instead focuses on monotonous chase scenes.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 4, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
I've never participated in Blackout, but based on The Blackout Experiments, I can tell you that it's an intense, aggressively confrontational and deeply disturbing recreational experience.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 22, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Yeon's patient direction and clever plot twists make Seok-woo's transformation from selfish antihero into brave caregiver consistently compelling.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 20, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
I can't think of another recent domestic drama that is simultaneously so optimistic and so melancholic.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 8, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
There's nothing specific, thoughtful or emotionally involving about Election Night beyond a basic need to push buttons, and get a rise out of viewers. The good guys are actually bad, and the bad guys are too indistinct to be hateful. Vote with your wallets, and go see something else.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 30, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Best of all: you don't have to wait until a concluding set piece for To to prove his prowess as a storyteller.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 24, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The Neon Demon only works when Refn finds the right middle ground between obliquely hinting at and explicitly spelling out what his movie's about.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 23, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The film rarely comes to life because Rollins, the only compelling actor in the otherwise amateurish cast, is underutilized, and virtually everything else underdeveloped.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 17, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Too bad writer-director Leena Yadav only infrequently uses innuendo-driven sex talk to break up a monotonous series of confrontations between misogynistic alpha males and their unhappy wives.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 16, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Neville briefly showcases individual musicians but never sticks with them long enough to highlight their skills.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 8, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
South Korean horror-mystery hybrid The Wailing crosses that line several times, but somehow remains effectively atmospheric.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 3, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
This is the kind of movie that leaves you with the impression that more thought was put into catchphrases and fan service than into a compelling plot, thoughtful characterizations or imaginative action choreography.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 3, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Xu (The Sword Identity) may not be a household name, but The Final Master proves that he's the next big thing in martial-arts cinema.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 1, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
I want to defend this movie, but it's so bad that I must warn you: if you watch this film knowing that it is Steven-Seagal-wearing-a-du-rag-and-glowering-impassively-at-attractive-young-women bad, you will get what you pay for. That's both an endorsement and a warning.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 13, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Don't let the tacky American-friendly title of Kill Zone 2 fool you: the martial arts genre's next big thing is here, and it is way meaner, more technically accomplished, and more exciting than its disappointing marketing strategy implies.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 13, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Dragon Inn is a romantic action film, but it still feels modern thanks to Hu's strict focus on action. I don't just mean the film's relentless series of fight scenes. Hu's film is all about movement.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 10, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
You can fully enjoy Belladonna of Sadness if you either overlook or participate in the objectification of a gorgeous victim.- Village Voice
- Posted May 5, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Not bad enough to dissuade prospective viewers' from their curiosity. In fact, the whole feather-light affair is practically redeemed by a single entry: writer/director Anthony Scott Burns' superbly spooky Father's Day segment.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 22, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The premise of My Big Night is fine, but the film's execution is what really sells it.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 15, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
You have to take the bad with the good here: Green Room may be too schematic to fully capture the essence of its characters' groddy milieu, but it's also economically paced, and gorgeous.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 15, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Just watch 11 Minutes like you're channel-surfing, only you don't have the remote and the roar of static between stations is steadily growing louder as the channels switch back-and-forth, faster and faster.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 8, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Hardcore Henry is like a good roller-coaster in that it does not require a complex reason to be: it's there, it's fun, you ride it, and that's about it.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 7, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
[Tony Girardin] ultimately focuses on Marinoni as a cranky workaholic driven to break a racing world record, but still paints a frustratingly vague portrait of the craftsman, husband and athlete.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 1, 2016
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- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 30, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Baskin does what many horror films try and fail to do: it makes you feel like you're a passive prisoner/spectator, watching as an especially vivid nightmare unfolds.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 25, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
My Golden Days exists simultaneously within and outside of its characters' headspace, a testament to Deplechin's powers of imaginative sensitivity.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 18, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Thank You for Playing transforms a father's confession into a revealing work of art.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 17, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
[Shirai] indulges his subjects' lack of introspection and focuses on the ephemeral beauty of the brewery's centuries-old sake-making method.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 17, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Yang's anti-nostalgic slice of 1960s Taipei life suggests a Tolstoy-size expansion of the ballads from Bruce Springsteen's Darkness on the Edge of Town.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 10, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Backgammon may not be effectively provocative, but it is sometimes dumb enough to be offensive.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 9, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
By preferring to keep viewers in suspense until the film's finale, Pastoll makes it harder to recommend a movie that has many good ideas, but no clue what to do with them.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 4, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
A visually impressive mix of hand-drawn and CGI animation with basic action-adventure elements that are always viscerally satisfying thanks to Hosoda's apparent warts-and-all love for humanity.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 4, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The Mermaid will make you laugh. It doesn't matter if you don't like subtitles. It doesn't matter if you've never heard of the director. It doesn't matter if you've never seen a Chinese movie in your life. It will make you laugh. Guaranteed.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 22, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The Witch, a feminist narrative that focuses on an American colonial family as they undergo what seems to be an otherworldly curse, is more like a sermon.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 18, 2016
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- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 11, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
A prime example of a horror omnibus film: even the weaker segments have something to recommend them.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 5, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Chinese blockbuster Monster Hunt is a sappy, crowd-pleasing, tonally wonky fantasy-adventure/comedy that pits dorky-looking monsters against over-acting cornball comedians/monster-hunters.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 22, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Stone-faced martial-arts star Donnie Yen does a lot with a little in wuxia weepy Ip Man 3, the rare kung fu film whose sentimental dialogue scenes are just as good as its stripped-down action sequences.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 19, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Nothing in Moonwalkers matches Perlman's performance, but he frequently elevates desperate-to-please gags to stoner-comedy greatness.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 12, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
I want to recommend Nelson's film in spite of how misconceived it is simply because it asks interesting questions, albeit in some of the most banal ways imaginable.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 8, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Kwek's refreshing focus on his terrorized protagonists' pre-abduction lives keeps Unlucky Plaza afloat once it invests in generic ticking-clock thrills.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 7, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Worse still: because The Emperor's New Clothes is often beholden to the whims of Brand (star of "Get Him to the Greek," and that tedious "Arthur" remake nobody saw), it too often feels like "Button-Pushing Encounters with Russell Brand."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 18, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
So if you're wondering if you should see He Never Died or not, consider how much time you want to spend in Rollins's company. He proves himself to be as charming as a younger Arnold Schwarzenegger, but his appeal is just as limited.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 18, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Extraction constantly tries to score a flashy TKO — but never lands a decent body blow.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 15, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Dany's mystery may ultimately go one twist too far. But until then, viewers can easily lose themselves while daydreaming about a French dame in distress with bad luck and an alluring look.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 15, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Body feels downright old-fashioned: a thriller with tension that doesn't stem from gore, jump scares, or other cheap shock tactics, but rather a creeping dread that grows with each red herring, and slow-burn plot twist.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 11, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Aat some point, every character in Youth falls out of love with the way of seeing the world. That kind of anti-epiphany is major—not on a universal, but rather a personal scale.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Yakusho's breathless, riveting performance grounds The World of Kanako even as it threatens to devolve into an unbearable series of nihilistic plot twists and gory set pieces.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 1, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Director Jackie Earle Haley's Criminal Activities is the worst kind of Tarantino clone, one with no gas in the tank, and no clue about how to pull off Tarantino's swagger.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 20, 2015
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- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 10, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
You've seen neo-noirs like this before, but you probably haven't had this much fun with a modern B movie in a while.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 10, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Amateurish direction and generic characterization make a light premise — serial killers slaughter a rural carnival's haunted-house patrons while pretending to be carnies — feel like a slog.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 10, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Hallow also de-emphasizes human drama to the point where it often feels like a Jenga tower of set pieces, a disappointing fact that's most apparent during the film's first 40 minutes.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 6, 2015
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 30, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Tokyo Tribe, an adaptation of a popular Japanese manga, is bound to charm viewers — both the uninitiated and the diehard fans of director Sion Sono ("Why Don't You Play in Hell," "Love Exposure") — with its boundless energy ... for a while, anyway.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 23, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
While most other films sprint through expository dialogue, and bluster their way through action scenes, The Last Witch Hunter is measured enough to make you want to suspend your disbelief.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 22, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Trash's creators never say anything thoughtful or useful about the extreme violence they liberally — and irresponsibly — use to characterize third-world adolescence.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 10, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
A very good film, but only if you're willing to inevitably submit to its anarchic sensibility.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 9, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Green Inferno is not exactly a feel-good film, but it gets a very particular job done.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 2, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
This Changes Everything isn't a game-changer, but it is jarring enough to be scary.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 29, 2015
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- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 29, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
There is, in other words, nothing new in Hellions that you can't get already in earlier, more ambitious horror films. But McDonald delivers an effective thrice-told tale, and he does it with enough avant garde flair to show viewers that temper their expectations a good time.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 24, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Bitterly funny gambling comedy Mississippi Grind transcends its generic lovable-losers-on-a-bender plot by foregrounding exceptionally well-developed skid-row protagonists and weirdly charming dive-bar ambiance.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 22, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Several of To's recent films concern economic upheaval and its effect on personal relationships, but Office is one of his recent best because it makes something as dire as a financial crisis seem like a natural subject for a modern musical.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 18, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
People are not good or bad in The Cut — they are subject to violent whims, and rarely given fair opportunities to defend themselves. The Cut can therefore be seen as a historical corrective.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 18, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Infectious horror-comedy Cooties is an energizing juggernaut until its seemingly inexhaustible ensemble cast members are outpaced by their respective characters' quirks.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 15, 2015
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- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 9, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Beyond some effectively icky make-up effects, Contracted: Phase II sells nothing that viewers absolutely must buy.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
While Les eventually becomes more tolerable, LaBute's cloying dialogue makes it impossible to appreciate what turns out to be a bracingly pragmatic sense of optimism.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 3, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Superior found-footage horror film Creep tellingly loses steam after it stops being a rote but tense game of chicken between a normcore derangoid (he likes hikes, hugs, and pancakes) and his wary victim.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 1, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The film is, in that sense, the ultimate fan film since it monotonously aggregates previously existing scifi/fantasy tropes. Rejoice, Gen X viewers, for now you can uncritically enjoy your childhood's junk food culture just because you're looking at the past through the rose-colored lenses of the future.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 28, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Memories of the Sword stands apart from other action films because Park wisely imagines violence as an elemental clash of dispositions.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 25, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Curse of Downers Grove coasts on pulpy fumes thanks to its creators' effective emphasis on circumstantial peril over character-driven drama.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 23, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Sinister 2 may be ambitious, but its best ideas are, as they're expressed, dumb, unmoving, and repetitive.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 20, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Anti–romantic comedy Some Kind of Beautiful starts with a dialogue scene that baldly explains to viewers what kind of casually chauvinistic narrative it's not going to be. That promise is gracelessly and repeatedly broken thanks to neophyte screenwriter Matthew Newman's clichéd characterizations and helmer Tom Vaughan's incompetent direction.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 18, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Viewers are not privileged with a more thoughtful, specific view of the institutionalized problems that Sudanese natives face because Sauper's not interested in making that kind of film.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 14, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Never feels as momentous or as angsty as a good story about moody teenagers should, and that's mostly because the film lacks a menacing parental adversary.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 14, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
While some of the film's wide emotional turns—from over-caffeinated road movie to magically-realistic melodrama and back again—are not handled with care, the film is more than the sum of its unequal parts.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 6, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Like a great amusement park ride, Shaun the Sheep Movie is consistently enjoyable.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 6, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Assassination is a blast whenever the director doesn't take his melodramatic plot too seriously.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Call Me Lucky is a loving but fair portrait of the artist as a heroic hothead.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Paley's segment proves that The Prophet is more of a missed opportunity than an ambitious folly.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
This is a film noir that is, despite some jittery, Tony Scott-esque action sequences, so cool, that you will leave it begging for a sequel.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 31, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The best that can be said about teen sex comedy Staten Island Summer is that it goes down easy.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 30, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Coelho's writing may be "more [widely] translated than [Shakespeare's]," as the coda claims, but Paulo Coelho's Best Story never successfully pins down its subject's genius.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 28, 2015
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- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 28, 2015
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 24, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Unexpected isn't about, but rather a product of, class-based condescension in America.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 21, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Oppressively bleak mood piece Alléluia is a horror film for people who like to be scared by a grim, joyless and thoroughly depressing character study.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 17, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Too bad that Ardor's arrhythmic editing and glacial pacing make it impossible to get lost in its jungles — or to invest in its pseudo-mystical ambiance.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 14, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Jellyfish Eyes may be blessedly unpretentious, but it's also immediately unmoving and relentlessly boring.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 14, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Gallows is only good enough to make you wish its creators did something novel with its formulaic style, plot, and characterizations.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 9, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Until tepid animal-attack flick Stung, I had never thought to wish for a horror movie protagonist to not be rewarded with a make-out session at film's end.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 3, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Into the Grizzly Maze is bad where it counts, and tedious throughout.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 30, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Had Nicholson taken advantage of Melendez and Suarez's seemingly easy-going nature, Rubble Kings might have been great. As it is, the film is a one-sided, but satisfying tribute to an alternatively terrifying and beguiling city that we can only revisit in movies.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 19, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Sleepy domestic-abuse/coming-of-age melodrama Phantom Halo never goes anywhere memorable because its two main characters don't consistently act like they're afraid of their big bad dad.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 17, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Face of an Angel may not be like any other whodunit you've seen, but it's also only superficially smarter than the genre it defines itself against.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 16, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
While The Stranger is bad, the fact that it makes you wait and wait for its excessively dismal perspective to be justified by a measly little twist is even worse.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 12, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Redeemer may not be as good as its star, but it does give Zaror enough room to shine.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 11, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
An uneven but satisfying hostage crisis thriller that is also a perfect example of the type of late-period films martial arts star Jackie Chan has decided to make after entering middle age.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 5, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Tepid ghost story Insidious: Chapter 3 tries and fails to emphasize character-driven drama over cheap, jump-scare-intensive thrills.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
It’s a series of comedic sketches about people who are too self-involved to empathize with each other. It’s also a plaintively blunt wake-up call, and an effective demand for viewers' vigilant sensitivity.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Doomsdays is winsome because it embraces its narcissistic subjects without asking viewers to forget that they've just befriended a couple of selfish dillholes.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 2, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
A coming-of-age drama that's also Southern Gothic ghost story, is an unusual, ambitious failure, mostly because the film's hyper-naturalistic style is meant to evoke a supernatural mood.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 29, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Though it starts off as a cautiously optimistic conversion narrative, the pseudo-progressive, banned-in-India LGBT drama Unfreedom quickly devolves into an absurdly pessimistic provocation.- Village Voice
- Posted May 26, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Barely Lethal's combination of bawdy humor and earnest affection for its high-school-aged protagonists is surprisingly well-balanced.- Village Voice
- Posted May 26, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
A cynical, and consistently unpleasant film with creators who try very, very hard to push as many of your buttons as they can.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 22, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
You may not leave Sunshine Superman wanting to emulate Carl and Jean, but you will feel like you've vicariously bonded with them.- Village Voice
- Posted May 19, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Absolution is an unconvincing showcase for Byron Mann, a new action star to whom Steven Seagal halfheartedly tries to pass a torch.- Village Voice
- Posted May 19, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Warped keyhole-size images stack atop one another in a Frankenstein-ian collage that evokes the films of Terrence Malick, David Lynch, Stan Brakhage, and Bruce Conner. Seeing "the years [slip] out of [Bill's] head" in this 71-minute compendium is nothing short of revelatory.- Village Voice
- Posted May 18, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
It's also genuinely warm and involving because of the participation of everyone from Carmen Vega, Giger's widow, to Sandra Berretta, Giger's former assistant and self-described "life partner." The film is, in that sense, an effective memorial, one filmed after Giger himself admitted that he had said all he wanted to say in his art.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 15, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Informative but tedious talking-head doc Our Man in Tehran is for anyone who watched Argo and then wished to hear a ditzy, history-obsessed uncle ramble about the real-life political stakes of the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis.- Village Voice
- Posted May 13, 2015
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 8, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Infini doesn't go anywhere that superior science fiction films haven't already, but for a while, it's exciting enough to feel brand-new.- Village Voice
- Posted May 6, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
While zombie drama Maggie seems intended as a showcase for Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting range, the star's performance is smothered by the film's deeply affected style.- Village Voice
- Posted May 5, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The film will only work for you if you expect it not to make sense, and enjoy jokes that go on and on and then suddenly (and repeatedly) jack-knife off a cliff or two.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 1, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
This is a comedy that encourages viewers to be impulsive, and pointedly seek love and acceptance outside of "normal" social institutions, especially when it comes to family and romance.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 1, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Leading man Richard Dreyfuss is so irrepressibly charming that he almost saves Jason Priestley's dismal buddy comedy Cas & Dylan from its awkward humor and trite sentimentality.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 28, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
If you want to see cats chasing people in packs, falling over themselves to descend stairwells, and jump up trees to swipe at disposable human protagonists--you will probably enjoy Roar.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 17, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Dead Lands doesn't add up to much, but it is always on the verge of becoming more than just a bed time story for guys that wish "Braveheart" had a biceps-kissing baby with "Ong Bak."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 17, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Watching Douglas behave like a narcissistic scumbag is an absolute pleasure, one in which viewers of action-adventure Beyond the Reach can happily indulge.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 17, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Because atrocious backstage drama 1915 is meant to address a great global tragedy -- the Turkish government–mandated extermination of 1.5 million Armenians -- the film's creators smother its putting-on-a-show narrative with ponderous diatribes about "denial," "ghosts," and "acting."- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 15, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The makers of Black Souls, a superior Italian gangster movie, deserve praise for executing with atypical sensitivity a generic times-are-changing/nostalgia-for-an-imaginary-chivalrous-yesteryear scenario.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 7, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
So while Cheatin' does have a narrative spine, it's most entertaining when it's hardest to pin down.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 3, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
First, and foremost: Zombeavers is exactly what it sounds like, a stoner-friendly horror-comedy about undead beavers. This needs over-stating since high-concept humor doesn't get higher than this.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 20, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The process of discovery that Evan goes through to get closer to Louise is what makes Spring special. But what Evan discovers about Louise feels like an after-thought that frustratingly overwhelms the film once it gets to where it's going.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 20, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
No, what's most disquieting about It Follows is the way it presents sex as neither abnormal, nor beneficial.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 13, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Faults is a richly-textured movie that concerns the weird space between thinking you know what you're doing, and actually knowing what you're doing.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 6, 2015
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- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 3, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Out of the Dark never leaves much of an impression despite character actor Stephen Rea's endearingly cocky performance, and an exotic—though largely under-utilized—South American setting.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 27, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Corfixen celebrates her husband for being open in his work, but never shows us how his real-life concerns translate into commendable creative risk-taking.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 24, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Documentary character study Kung Fu Elliot starts off as a cringe-humor portrait of a delusional would-be action star, but gradually transforms into a thoughtful examination of its title character's naïveté.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 24, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Green, who plays a snotty version of himself, doesn't follow through on any of the ideas that make his film stand out. As a result, Digging Up the Marrow just uselessly lies there, like a cat during a heat wave.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 20, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
An irrepressibly charming B-movie that never over-stays its welcome, and is both conceptually clever and admirably well-executed.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 13, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Ronit's remarkable sensitivity makes Gett a tough but essential melodrama.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 10, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Jeff Bridges's abysmally campy performance may be the worst thing about disposable sword-and-sorcery fantasy Seventh Son, but it's also the only memorable thing.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 6, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Project Almanac could have been fun, but its creators don't seem to know what fun looks like.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 3, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Loft's boorish leads aren't sensible enough to be worth caring about, making the film's character-driven conclusion feel like a self-defeating cop-out.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 3, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
It's an anti-romantic biography about a great artist, one whose central themes are basic, but whose energy and execution is irresistible.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 30, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
R100 is, consequently, a comedy that tries to alienate you by suggesting that escapism is futile, all things inevitably devolve, and nothing inherently means anything.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 23, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Amateurishly realized sensationalism trumps character-driven drama throughout Killers.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 21, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
How badly do you want to see rabid computer-generated zombie-monkeys die violently? Because there's not much else worth recommending in [Rec] 4: Apocalypse.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 3, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Flawed but genuinely creepy ghost story The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death is disappointing, but only because it comes close to greatness.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 1, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Taking of Tiger Mountain may not always be as grand as it should be, but its thrills compensate for its shortcomings.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 30, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Visually splendid, but generically flat-footed, Song of the Sea is an animated fantasy that comes close to greatness, but is rarely as clever as it is comforting.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 19, 2014
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 12, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Immoral Tales works best when its creator is focused on surprising viewers with his perverse imagination, and not his misguided cynicism.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 9, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Barker's tactlessness wouldn't be so bad if he weren't too high on his own patchwork rhetoric to ask his subjects what specifically motivates them.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 9, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Even if you can accept that there's nothing inherently wrong with being a little misanthropic in the right context, you'll probably find that Murder of a Cat's mean streak isn't wide enough.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 5, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Sunada's critical distance makes Kingdom of Dreams and Madness the clear-eyed celebration that Ghibli's artists deserve.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 25, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Plays like a sampler of Dreamworks Animation's worst creative impulses: sugar-rush pacing, pandering meta-gags, and a slick, flavorless animation style.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 25, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Extraterrestrial never settles into a groove, and therefore never becomes more than a collection of effectively icky scenes.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 21, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Cocker's magnetic persona is a huge part of Pulp's identity, but it's not the band's greatest legacy. So don't be surprised when Cocker's gas-leak hiss of a voice is drowned out by smoke machine cannons, and fails to swell until it bursts at the end of "Common People."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 20, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Writer/director John Herzfeld (15 Minutes, Two of a Kind) earnestly tries and spectacularly fails to dilute the acrid pretentiousness of Reach Me, a tone-deaf everything-is-connected melodrama, by cutting his characters' pseudo-enlightened philosophizing with goony broad humor.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 18, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Each propulsive segment features a handful of disturbing sequences... But such pleasures barely compensate for the vapidity of V/H/S: Viral's sketches.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 18, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Wolves is consequently too violent to be a "Twilight" knockoff, and too cuddly to be an effectively freaky tale of a boy who, to paraphrase "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah," becomes a man while also becoming a wolf.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 14, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
As gory as it is corrosively cynical, a supernatural mood piece that's equally influenced by the arthouse horror movies of David Lynch and Roman Polanski, and the grindhouse-ready Satanic Panic films of the '70s, like "To the Devil a Daughter," and "The Devil Rides out."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 14, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Were it not for Partridge's and Mishra's performances, the generic plot -- Ray becomes inspired after bonding with Ashok, a down-on-his-luck Bollywood singer -- would be completely unmoving and unenlightening.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 13, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
While it doesn't cohere into anything more substantial than a collection of self-loathing anxieties, Japanese teledrama Penance is effectively unnerving on a scene-for-scene basis thanks to writer/director Kiyoshi Kurosawa's preference for ambience over character-driven drama.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 11, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
It is also the post-punk writer/director Sion Sono's most accessible film: a middle-aged filmmaker's tribute to the kind of epic-sized gangster-romance he used to fantasize about making.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 7, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
If anything unites On Any Sunday: The Next Chapter's cyclists, it's Brown and Rousseau's inability to highlight their subjects' most singular qualities.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 4, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Point and Shoot consequently feels like a film made by a storyteller — not a journalist — who doesn't know he can ask follow-up questions.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 31, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
By widening the scope of their based-on-a-true story, the makers of Revenge of the Green Dragon make their subjects look like the products of unimaginative cultural assimilation.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 30, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
First-time director Stiles White's effective use of long takes and director of photography David Emmerichs's wide-angle digital cinematography make an otherwise generic teen ghost story unexpectedly atmospheric.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 28, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
The three lead actors are limited by their characters' kiddy-pool-shallow behavior.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 14, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
The film's rote right-makes-might fantasy wouldn't be so obnoxious if pandering to the lowest common denominator wasn't its default mode.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 14, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
It's for-horror-nuts-only, but if you can see it with a rowdy crowd, Dead Snow 2 will appreciate exponentially.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 10, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
The good news barely outweighs the bad in Dracula Untold, a lightweight war-adventure that is ultimately stranger and more enticing when it remembers it's also a horror film.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 10, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Piers McGrail's nuanced, moody cinematography brings out the best in writer-director Ivan Kavanagh's over-mannered but effectively creepy ghost story.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 7, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
The film makes one damning if unoriginal observation—the "reality" presented on reality TV is manufactured—and then does nothing to expand on it.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 3, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Most of the documents that Lapa quotes from are, as presented, unrevealing — even offensive.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 30, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Chinese comedian Huang Bo justifies his status as a record-breaking mega-star in Breakup Buddies, a tone-deaf buddy comedy that's like 10 by way of Due Date.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 30, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Tusk is bearable thanks in no small part to its game cast, particularly character actor Michael Parks's Vincent Price-esque baddy.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 19, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Cave's soulful performance, shot in real-time and in extreme close-up, is that much more impressive once you realize he's playing a song for Forsyth and Pollard before he's performed it in front of a live audience.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 18, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Almost nothing makes sense in Brush With Danger, a bewilderingly incompetent and inexplicably racist Indonesian action film.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 16, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Instead of over-glorifying their shared past, Ericsson pays loving tribute to what remains of his subjects' relationship.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 16, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
The movie is so consistently moody, and so focused on driving you towards a gut-punch finale, that even valid complaints seem negligible in retrospect.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 12, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Any movie is improved at least 10 percent by the presence of Scottish actor Brian Cox, even mushy sports drama Believe.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 9, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Alumbrones's creators talk up their work's restorative value, but never go into great detail about the world beyond their canvases. Donnelly's vague, circuitous questioning is to blame.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 9, 2014
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 5, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Novel enough to be worth the price of admission, but you'll think twice before getting back in line for a second visit.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 4, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Beyond isolated moments of dickish charm — and his climactic four-way fight involving a sword, a crucifix, and two steel pipes — Chapman just comes across like another pseudo-heroic American behaving badly abroad.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 3, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
It's a confrontational fever dream film told from constantly shifting perspectives, and a chilly, dizzying trip into a genre defined by violently conflicting emotions.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 29, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Come for Ku's joyful choreography, stay for Yen's most memorable post-comeback performance.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 19, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
A sleepy, but pleasantly surprising action-adventure, Ragnarok is the rare Spielberg clone that feels like it was made by people that not only know what they like about Spielberg's films, but are capable of evoking them.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 15, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
More enervating than it is ambitious, Jake Squared is partly a romantic comedy and mostly a pseudo-philosophical apology for self-absorption.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 12, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
If nothing else, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reminds us that nostalgia is often used as a mandate for spectacularly lazy filmmaking.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 8, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Deepsea Challenge has too little interest in anything that's not Cameron's personal experience.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 5, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
So weak on a basic storytelling level that it makes you want to nitpick everything about it, from characters' generically illogical decisions (ex: Why are you running towards mounted guns?) to its cheap-looking, jiggly hand-held cinematography.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 18, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
As It Is in Heaven ultimately doesn't go anywhere unexpected, but it does foster a potent, unexpected bond between its subjects and its audience.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 11, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Little more than an ugly collection of tropes stolen from "The Exorcist" and "Seven."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 2, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Witching and Bitching is accordingly overlong, and conceptually thin. But like most of de la Iglesia's films, it's also freakishly energetic, and often hysterical.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 13, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
It's uneven, and more than a little mystifying, but Rigor Mortis is also a bittersweet coda to a deliriously silly series of films.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 6, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
The film's relentlessly quirky style of comedy is consequently very self-conscious. Every joke in Ping Pong Summer is a variation on a theme: 1985 was the most awkward time to be alive.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 6, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
The film's retro, John Carpenter-esque synthesizer score, composed by Jeff Grace, further pushes viewers away.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 23, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
It's as visually indistinct and paint-by-numbers-plot-driven as most Marvel Comics-based projects, especially the gaggle of recent Avengers-related films.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 22, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Wolf Creek 2 isn't much different than "Wolf Creek," but it is markedly worse.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 16, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Stage Fright's lopsided tone wouldn't be so confounding if the horror elements worked or if writer-director Jerome Sable's music, co-composed with Eli Batalion, weren't so forgettable.- Village Voice
- Posted May 6, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Blood Glacier is too sleepy to do anything with its guano-stirring premise. Yes, there are crazy-go-nutty monsters in the film, but you seldom get to see them as they sadly are not the focus of Blood Glacier.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 2, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Generally speaking, the museum seems like a modest, but vividly-detailed freak show.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 18, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Rock-dumb Hong Kong thriller That Demon Within is exhausting, and only sometimes batshit enough to be engaging.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 16, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Unfortunately, Afflicted is as emotionally involving as a really accomplished special-effects sizzle reel.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 4, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Mistaken for Strangers doesn't reveal anything about Tom but his own insecurity.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 25, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Pseudo-sensitive bro-dude rom-com Date and Switch comes out today, and it already feels dated.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 14, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Chander Pahar is an unfocused adventure-cum-travelogue.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 7, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
In spite of its enjoyable, easy-to-exploit aspects, 47 Ronin is a big budget spectacle hamstrung by its need to be at once flippant and respectful of its honor-driven source material.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 25, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
More about ambience than narrative progress, so if you don't like these kinds of characters (ie: hippy-dippy aesthetes), the film will drive you up a wall.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 20, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The most compelling thing about Friend 2 is its trifurcated plot, a structural gimmick borrowed from The Godfather Part II.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 10, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Khumba is disastrously uninspired. Not even a galaxy of stars, united in their willingness to take a check, can save Khumba from being the boringest plucky outsider of all.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 6, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
When Commitment isn't a perfectly forgettable action film, it's either an oil-thin melodrama or a charbroiled treat for meatheads.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 3, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
This 43-year-old filmmaker is a major talent. Though he may not be the second coming of Fellini, his films all have a funny, refreshingly complex perspective, and his latest work is a perfect example of why he is the next big Italian thing.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 15, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Ultimately, Devries seems to want to impress viewers with his anger.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 12, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Thor: The Dark World's characters are often very charming, but they're only so much fun when they're stuck going through the motions.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 8, 2013
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- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 5, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The film's biggest problem is a matter of tone and characterization: the characters constantly talk about how mean they can be, but their actions suggest otherwise.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 1, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Boss is that rare Bollywood action film whose stars are worthy of the pedestal they're put on.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 29, 2013
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- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 22, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The makers of this high-concept comedy lack the courage of their gross-out convictions. Being loud, and tasteless can also be funny, but if all you've got to offer is bad racial humor, and dopey sex jokes, then you are the F@4k-You Man Eddie Murphy jokes about in "Raw," the guy who cluelessly tries to make people laugh by cursing a lot. Ghost Team One also panders to viewers, and does a lousy job of it, too.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 18, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Once Haunter's story snaps into focus, and its creators pull you towards its inevitable conclusion, the film's flaws become that much more apparent.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 18, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Rarely goes so far over the top that it loses you completely. It is, to put it mildly, not subtle. But if you watch it expecting to see a dumb idea executed with appreciable skill, you'll have a blast.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 4, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Watching Campbell over her shoulder or in a mirror is frustrating because it consistently limits our view of her character. Porterfield's people can't give anything away beyond their immediate aggression, frustration, and sadness. But it's hard to appreciate an intentionally blurry portrait of a family that's so impressionistic that all you can see of its already-withdrawn characters are their shadows.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 4, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The filmmakers fall over themselves trying to respect Man's outlook on life, and this makes their subject seem more like a hyper-disciplined saint than a world-reknowned, ass-kicking hermit.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 20, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
To put in Clichénese, the only language Battle of the Year knows: the creator's hearts just weren't in this thing.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 20, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
You could get mad at Seifert for being so bad at being so nakedly manipulative. Or you could just give up all hope, and counter-intuitively root for Monsanto. This is a David-vs.-Goliath movie, but David's aim is so spotty that Goliath has nothing to fear.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 13, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
A puzzle movie with too many unnecessary pieces and not enough essential ones, but it's superior to its predecessor in a few basic ways.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 13, 2013
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 6, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
[Thérèse] is not the nuanced period drama it should be but is rather more like a banal, pseudo-thoughtful and monotonous episode of Masterpiece Theater.- The Playlist
- Posted Aug 20, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
These kids have to contrive magical pretexts just to lay hands on each other, and boy, are their excuses rotten.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 23, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Despite its title, Drew: The Man Behind the Poster is not a documentary about movie poster artist Drew Struzan. Instead, Struzan's poster art is the film's real subject.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 14, 2013
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 2, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The film's flintiness and initially subdued nastiness set it apart from most other action films about the thin line separating cops from crooks.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 26, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The Conjuring is as toothless as it is because it's two different kinds of boring. The film's plot is explained exhaustively whenever loud noises aren't blaring, and random objects aren't teasingly leaping out at you from the corner of your eye.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 19, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Ultimately, Beneath is better than your average Roger Corman clone because it is more serious than trivial.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 18, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Wiig really shines in the film, proving that her finely honed comic timing can make a character work even when the film ultimately doesn't.- The Playlist
- Posted Jul 16, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Most jokes don't translate very well in Go Goa Gone, a Bollywood horror comedy influenced by Shaun of the Dead.- Village Voice
- Posted May 14, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
No amount of hyper-stylized, Guy Ritchie–inspired posturing can save a film whose lead antihero is so unrepentantly vile.- Village Voice
- Posted May 7, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Dumb as they're written, even Holla II's characters are smart enough to want to exit this clunker as fast as they can.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 23, 2013
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