Simon Abrams
Select another critic »For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
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40% higher than the average critic
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6% same as the average critic
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54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics.
(0-100 point scale)
Simon Abrams' Scores
- Movies
- TV
| Average review score: | 55 | |
|---|---|---|
| Highest review score: | Viet and Nam | |
| Lowest review score: | Zookeeper | |
Score distribution:
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Positive: 390 out of 854
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Mixed: 239 out of 854
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Negative: 225 out of 854
854
movie
reviews
- By Date
- By Critic Score
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- Simon Abrams
This sequel is sluggish and rote where its predecessor was aggressively perky and desperate to please...Tai Chi Hero is more Tai Chi Business as Usual.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 23, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
This is not the stuff of stirring humanist drama, but rather a bland scenario about boring people that want to mature but have no idea how.- The Playlist
- Posted Apr 22, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Haunted by death-obsessed men of action, Un Flic (A Cop) is a fitting final act for noir master Jean-Pierre Melville- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 16, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Nautanki Saala's creators spend so much time disinterestedly transitioning from one plot point to the next that they only effectively establish the haphazard nature of RP and Nandini's romance.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 15, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The Lords of Salem is a product of Zombie’s better creative impulses, so it’s ok that it also features several of his worse indulgences, too.- The Playlist
- Posted Apr 14, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Post Tenebras Lux is certainly unique, but Reygadas is often intensely more interested in provoking his audience than actually fleshing out his heady ideas.- The Playlist
- Posted Apr 12, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
As a filmmaker, Drasnin should not have relied so singularly on Rittenberg's testimony.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 10, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Chashme Baddoor's modest charms dissipate quickly, but they're certainly real.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 9, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The pseudo-progressivism inherent in Himmatwala, an action-comedy remake of the 1983 Bollywood action-drama of the same name, makes toxic camp of otherwise meaningless kitsch.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 2, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
By inexpertly filtering her art through her travails, Wood and Altunaga reimagine Parra's suicide as an explicable conclusion to her turbulent life.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 26, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Throughout the film, Mindless Behavior's four interchangeable members only project youthful enthusiasm and PR-friendly love for their fans.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 19, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Even with so many talented actors involved, there’s nothing really galvanizing or particularly provocative about Redford’s latest.- The Playlist
- Posted Mar 11, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
When the creators of The Last Exorcism Part II swapped pseudo-verité realism for psychological realism, they made it a lot harder to take their franchise seriously.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 6, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Attacks doesn't establish the severity of a real-life tragedy, it only crassly devalues the loss of human life.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 6, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
When choosing to unleash seemingly any desperate comedian they could find willing to work for scale, the creators of White T ensured that almost nothing about White T would make sense.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 26, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The worst thing about Doctor Bello's tacky, pseudo-spiritual proceedings isn't how bad the soap opera melodramatics are (Tyler Perry would blush!), but rather how lazily sketched out its story of one man's road to self-actualization is.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 26, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Mud is as unmoving as it is because it doesn’t aspire to be anything other than a competent anti-fairy tale in which the paint-by-number morals are enforced by equally obvious main protagonists.- The Playlist
- Posted Feb 26, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The film is superficially tense throughout, but director Pandey doesn't know what to emphasize when.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 14, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
The Good Doctor isn't a ponderous bore because Blake isn't a strictly good or bad character: It sucks because he isn't even a compelling character.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Aug 24, 2012
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- Simon Abrams
Everything matters in Cronenberg's Cosmopolis, but not everything is necessarily the same as DeLillo's book. And that makes the film, as a series of discussions about inter-related money-minded contradictions, insanely rich and maddeningly complex. We can't wait to rewatch it.- The Playlist
- Posted Aug 15, 2012
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- Simon Abrams
James Murphy never says that his music will sound different after LCD Soundsystem disbands, so why fearfully anticipate a change that we don't even know is coming?- Slant Magazine
- Posted Jul 22, 2012
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- Simon Abrams
Something like a trippy grindhouse homage whose familiar images are refracted through a prism of blacklight posters, Jodorowsky films, and even Rob Zombie's grungy psychotropic sensibility.- Slant Magazine
- Posted May 15, 2012
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- Simon Abrams
With no slick moves and no brains backing its skuzzy narrative, Neon Flesh is just a proudly tacky film about unconscionably tawdry people.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Feb 19, 2012
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- Simon Abrams
The brutality of Tyrannosaur isn't so over the top as to make director Paddy Considine's sympathy for his flawed characters look like a sham. But it does frequently bring his film's seesawing exploration of blue-collar existence to the brink of collapse.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Nov 13, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
But all the charm in the world wouldn't make Ra.One's sanctimoniousness seem any more genuine.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Oct 29, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
The film is an 80-minute shaggy-dog story about the seductive power of storytelling and the weird places it can transport us; too bad writer- director Todd Rohal doesn't take us any place worth going.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Oct 16, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
Puncture's story only moves forward thanks to Evans's charm. But a good lead performance can't single-handedly save thin material.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Sep 18, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
It's refreshing to see Shark Night 3D director David R. Ellis try to pull off a semi-sincere second-generation "Jaws" rip-off, even if he doesn't quite succeed.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Sep 2, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
Hark's new film is a consummately bizarre crowd-pleaser that throws everything at the viewer from makeshift plastic surgery by acupuncture to death by spontaneous combustion.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Aug 29, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
Fassbinder's sumptuous 205-minute epic is intriguing as a prototype for later and more palatably cynical sci-fi standards like "Blade Runner" or even "Total Recall."- Slant Magazine
- Posted Jul 19, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
It's monumentally terrible. "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son" now has competition for worst picture of the year.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Jul 6, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
In spite of its conspicuously crude sense of humor, Delhi Belly is much more family-minded and innocent than it would like its young target audience to believe.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Jun 29, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
If you're wondering where the Jim Carrey of "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and "Dumb and Dumber" fame went, don't look to Mr. Popper's Penguins for answers.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Jun 15, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
A charmingly filthy, albeit rather amateurish stab at making a macho action-hero persona out of Moore's stand-up sensibility.- RogerEbert.com
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- Simon Abrams
The exhilarating Japanese animated coming-of-age fantasy Mind Game plays out like a hallucinogen-fueled shaggy-dog joke that only ends after twenty-year-old horndog Nishi (Kôji Imada) discovers that the world does not revolve around him.- Village Voice
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- Simon Abrams
Farrier doesn’t really take us to any dark corners of Organ’s life that he can’t talk his way out of, but Mister Organ does capture the miasmic anxiety that surrounds his mysterious subject.- TheWrap
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- Simon Abrams
Viewers must ultimately draw their own conclusions about Chan's identity, making Chan Is Missing a classic, albeit unsolvable, brainteaser.- Village Voice
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- Simon Abrams
Chan seems to do everything he can think of to ingratiate himself with viewers.- Village Voice
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- Simon Abrams
Because Silence’s might doesn’t eventually set things right for Snow Hill’s residents, The Great Silence goes out with a devastating bang.- Village Voice
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