If you’re going to remake a venerated video game, then for god’s sake, do it right.

Vampire Rain fails at almost everything it tries. Despite the undeniably appealing setting, there's nothing here that justifies even a reserved recommendation. Depressing, derivative, and controller-throwingly frustrating, here's one occasion when you should let the rain stop you from playing.

Despite what high-school productions of Macbeth may illustrate, swordfighting is actually pretty hard work. So is making a good movie-based video game. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End for Wii fails at both of these tasks, and leaves you with a metaphorical pain in the neck and an all-too-real pain in the shoulder.

The gene-stealing and blood-drinking theme makes for an interesting concept with great gameplay implications. But the bottom line is that as a game, Genesis Rising sucks, both literally and figuratively.

Typically, poor graphic performance is just a sideline to how a game performs, but here the lousy shadows and contrasty scenes detract from the action just as much as the dreadful AI and thin premise. As a result, Bullet Witch should be completely avoided.

The swordfights, which seem to promise the ability to jump around and swing your Wiimote like a living room ninja, are a profound disappointment.

If this version of Need for Speed: Carbon either looked or handled better, it might have been a worthwhile contender. But this lazy port simply doesn't have what it takes to bring the Need for Speed franchise to the Wii.

For the price you'll pay for both these games -- which is what you'll need to do if you want a half-decent selection of activities -- you could buy the far superior "Brain Age." Or, for that matter, you could buy just about any of the other genuinely good games on the DS, and pass over this cash-in altogether.

For the price you'll pay for both these games -- which is what you'll need to do if you want a half-decent selection of activities -- you could buy the far superior "Brain Age." Or, for that matter, you could buy just about any of the other genuinely good games on the DS, and pass over this cash-in altogether.

Only the most blinkered Mobile Suit fetishist could love this clunky battle sim, which trades speed, finesse, and depth for...well, nothing, really.

Team Ninja has headed in exactly the wrong direction: more throwaway minigames, the same frustrating friends system, less focus on the volleyball. Instead, it winds up seeming just as superficial as the bosoms of its stars.

In the spirit of generosity, we'll offer that there's about 30 minutes of entertainment to be had. Any fan of "Grand Theft Auto"'s goofy violence will grin as the shark tears people limb from limb. Hours of doing that and little else for hours, however, will dull the enthusiasm of even the most bloodthirsty gamer.

A passing diversion, totally bereft of the addictive zeal of the original. In this case that's a step forward, if only a very tiny one.

Single-player won't occupy you for long -- the daft AI and total lack of variety will see to that. Live play will keep you smiling for a little while, but the sad truth is that Act Zero is totally inadequate. Treat it like it's one of the bombs getting flung around the map and run the other way.

The adventure boldly promised by the title is lacking, leaving only a half-hearted tale that's trailing dozens of frustrated players and broken controllers in its wake.

Only the most desperate deathmatch champion will get their money's worth out of this purgatorial port.

Multiplayer is better, but it'd be the scurvy dog indeed that talked his friends into buying this cash-in.

Extras like a free, waypoint-based track editor add charm. The same thing goes for online car-swapping features. But between a Super Nintendo-era audio-library, limp-wristed vehicular duels, and snooze-inducing stages, it's too little, too late.

Extras like a free, waypoint-based track editor add charm. The same thing goes for online car-swapping features. But between a Super Nintendo-era audio-library, limp-wristed vehicular duels, and snooze-inducing stages, it's too little, too late.

Even if you're absolutely infatuated with the Cars premise, this is no way to show the love.

In the spirit of generosity, we'll offer that there's about 30 minutes of entertainment to be had.

In the spirit of generosity, we'll offer that there's about 30 minutes of entertainment to be had.

And while the game generally looks and sounds just fine, you'll come away thinking about the interminably dull dialogue passages and unconvincing characters.

Like many games of this style, there is some vague, half-guilty pleasure in the mechanical repetitiveness of the game's combat. But ultimately, X-Men is in the time-honored tradition of licensed games -- rushed, derivative, and well worth avoiding.

Like many games of this style, there is some vague, half-guilty pleasure in the mechanical repetitiveness of the game's combat. But ultimately, X-Men is in the time-honored tradition of licensed games -- rushed, derivative, and well worth avoiding.

Like many games of this style, there is some vague, half-guilty pleasure in the mechanical repetitiveness of the game's combat. But ultimately, X-Men is in the time-honored tradition of licensed games -- rushed, derivative, and well worth avoiding.

Like many games of this style, there is some vague, half-guilty pleasure in the mechanical repetitiveness of the game's combat. But ultimately, X-Men is in the time-honored tradition of licensed games -- rushed, derivative, and well worth avoiding.

Like many games of this style, there is some vague, half-guilty pleasure in the mechanical repetitiveness of the game's combat. But ultimately, X-Men is in the time-honored tradition of licensed games -- rushed, derivative, and well worth avoiding.

And while the game generally looks and sounds just fine, you'll come away thinking about the interminably dull dialogue passages and unconvincing characters.

While the symbol-drawing controls and cunning elemental system are deep and enjoyable, the rest of the game drags it down to a level of tedium from which even the competent multiplayer can't rescue it.

Only the Sabotage online mode, where teams attempt to interrogate rivals for parts of a six-number code, stands out as unique. One mode won't win the war, much less our gaming money for the month.

Only the Sabotage online mode, where teams attempt to interrogate rivals for parts of a six-number code, stands out as unique. One mode won't win the war, much less our gaming money for the month.

Only the Sabotage online mode, where teams attempt to interrogate rivals for parts of a six-number code, stands out as unique. One mode won't win the war, much less our gaming money for the month.

Quite simply, Ys isn't good enough to make it worth the pain in the butt of the constant loading. It's designed to play fast and easy, but on the PSP, it's a staccato exercise in waiting before you're allowed to do a few very simple things.

Street Supremacy may be pretty cool for its strategic twist, but when actually getting behind the wheel is so ponderous and unengaging, then for all you care, those other gangs can just have Tokyo.

Why not make a game starring Sonic and only Sonic, where he's running around on his own two legs, without any weapons besides his own body, in an action/platformer? Crazy? Yes, but it just might work.

A game with no surprises and a superficial combat model, but giant robot fetishists and long-time series fans at least have one less reason to complain.

Why not make a game starring Sonic and only Sonic, where he's running around on his own two legs, without any weapons besides his own body, in an action/platformer? Crazy? Yes, but it just might work.

It's another throwaway shooter with bad AI, forgettable single player levels, and glib unremarkable multiplayer options. Here lies Rainbow Six. Rest in peace, while we go reinstall "Raven Shield."

It's probably too much to ask that a single game capture all the nuances of a huge event like the Winter Olympics. But there isn't even the fun and spirit of gameplay that imbued the original "Track and Field," and that was on the Atari-bloody-2600! When a modern game is getting lapped by an 8-bit wonder, something is really rotten in... well, Torino isn't in Denmark, but you get the point

It's only January, but we already have an early favorite for 2006's Worst Game of the Year award. In terms of graphics, gameplay, sound, and most other categories, 25 to Life is so low on the totem it's underground.

More of a tech demo than a solid game. The engine is pretty and the characters look great, but it's sorely lacking in the gameplay department.

A mess of a game. It's not even a game, more like a slow, rotting death. No matter how great your love for George Romero, no matter how overpowering your curiosity, there is no reason to look twice at Land of the Dead. Do not walk away. Run.

It's a schizophrenic game that tests poorly as both a brawler and a fighter. 80 percent of the game is too easy, and the balance is cheap and simply not fun.

Despite its relative good looks, Dead to Rights: Reckoning is more an exercise in frustration than an enjoyable diversion. Not even the four player WiFi deathmatch mode is enough to save this one from the bowels of the budget bargain bin.

The hell of the game is that the environmental puzzle setups look pretty good -- climb the wall, lash onto the nearest outcropping, swing to clamber chainlink fences, etc. It's just a shame the game actively fights your ability to navigate them.

The hell of the game is that the environmental puzzle setups look pretty good -- climb the wall, lash onto the nearest outcropping, swing to clamber chainlink fences, etc. It's just a shame the game actively fights your ability to navigate them.

The hell of the game is that the environmental puzzle setups look pretty good -- climb the wall, lash onto the nearest outcropping, swing to clamber chainlink fences, etc. It's just a shame the game actively fights your ability to navigate them.

The hell of the game is that the environmental puzzle setups look pretty good -- climb the wall, lash onto the nearest outcropping, swing to clamber chainlink fences, etc. It's just a shame the game actively fights your ability to navigate them.

The general lack of thought and polish is obvious in almost every aspect.

The general lack of thought and polish is obvious in almost every aspect.

The lackluster visuals, an unsophisticated setup, and tepid pacing render it more curiosity than keepsake, even for series die-hards.

Were the character control tighter, level designs a bit more varied and the sound a bit less repetitive it could have been a great way to waste some time with old favorites.

A few fighting scenes and some great cinema sequences don't do much to jazz up this tired shooter.

It's all dull and straightforward, except for the moments where the designers pad things out with annoying quests that make you backtrack in order to open a blocked door. All of these "puzzles" have obvious solutions, too, so that you're really just putting in time and walking around a lot.

Rather than working with the many strengths of the GBA system, EA Canada has tried to shoehorn impossible content into SSX 3, and the strain shows from moment one.

A few fighting scenes and some great cinema sequences don't do much to jazz up this tired shooter.

It takes about five minutes with the game to realize it's a nightmare for everyone else, with ugly visuals, sloppy controls, a horrible camera and some of the most foolish storytelling we've seen. This one's a mess, folks.

The Xbox Music Mixer's laundry list of features are so poorly implemented that it simply isn't worth buying.

While Super Duper Sumos might be aimed at kids, that's no excuse for this kind of uninspired and dull gameplay. The length, frankly, was one of the better things about it, as the end came as quite a relief.

Polygon counts are noticeably low, for both the characters and the levels, and to have an accomplished developer like Sonic Team not push the hardware is quite a disappointment.

The game mechanics are so badly crippled that it probably doesn't even deserve to be called a strategy game.

The game mechanics are so badly crippled that it probably doesn't even deserve to be called a strategy game.

Its Star Wars atmosphere is minimal, and its advancement is riddled with repetitive, boring, time-consuming experience-grind busywork... As it stands, Galaxies is little more than a buggy, incomplete time sink.

Abysmal in every way. The only possible reason there could be for purchasing it is to give as a present to a particularly hated relative - but that might be considered a little harsh.

The racing in Bandits: Phoenix Rising is not that compelling, and the shooting loses its appeal after the first mission.

A poor excuse for a Tenchu-style fighter, thinly veiled as a story-driven stealth action game a la Metal Gear that's so laughably bad it actually makes "Batman: Vengeance" look like the best superhero action game ever created.

Just too much fluff and not enough fun.

The storyline features such ridiculous contrivances as diving to find the ingredients to make aspirin for someone's grandmother, who has back pain. Ugh.

When these sorts of loaded odds are all you get in lieu of a competitive computer player, the whole thing feels like you're being cheated rather than challenged.

You might not enjoy looking back on the repetitive track design and poor graphics, but you won't recoil in shock or anything. It's more likely that you won't be able to remember anything about this game at all.

Control is also woefully imprecise, to the point where combos can seem time-delayed a second or more.

Does one thing and one thing only: it adds one more RPG to the Xbox line-up, and whether or not that's a good thing depends on how desperate you are for a dungeon crawl.

More like somebody's high-school programming project than an actual commercial game. And even then, it's only worth a D.

Worlds' unappealing characters, boring gameplay and woeful presentation make it one that probably even the hardcore should skip.

Playing this game is as tedious and as painful as your morning workout on the stairmaster, without the pain-for-gain benefit of developing six-pack abs.

A real disappointment.

This is only a bad computer game, after all, even if it is one that is broken in almost every fundamental way and is an uncanny combination of tedium and insane frustration.

For starters, it's boring...You generally just button mash as quickly as possible and hope that the cops fall down before you do.

The ridiculous frustration in the early levels will deplete most gamers' patience.

Bad taste and bad execution that ranks up there with the worst racing games and the most unfunny Benny Hill sketches make it a truly awful experience in every way.

If you can get graphics this good in real-time, why settle for a shooter-on-rails?

Even in the face of the irritating gameplay and lack of functionality, it's the liberties the game takes with its source that hurt the most.

Dreary when it should be light and enjoyable, Monster Force is the videogame equivalent of last year's Time magazines in a doctor's waiting room.

One of the buggiest games ever released for the GBA, if not one of the buggiest games ever released, period. One flaw even makes it impossible to complete the game.

A game painstakingly styled, but so lacking in depth it's almost embarrassing.

This type of game and this type of game system go together like oil and water.

Although there are some enjoyable aspects here, there are too many disappointments weighing down the whole endeavour.

It's almost as if they settled on the simplest, most derivative game design possible instead of trying to do the show some justice.

A mediocre game at best. Graphically and sonically, it stinks but with a better framerate, these issues and enemy AI problems could have been forgiven.

Hardened "Sims" fans already inhabit a virtual world they would loathe to leave for such a pale imitation, and management aficionados will decry the lack of depth and flexibility within the gameplay.

Delving more than an hour or two into the game becomes painful.

It’s dull, looks bad, gets boring very quickly and is thoroughly overshadowed by its competition.

It's one of the better wrestling games available on any platform - except for the one unfortunate flaw that it gets sort of old after only a few hours of gametime.

While the developers have done a good job of crafting a simplistic strategy game, it lacks the depth that most players require today.

Creature Labs has decided to create a Pac-Man game that not only bears no resemblance to the original but is an absolute travesty of a title that certainly wouldn't have got a release without the Pac-Man licence.

If you're desperate for a Prince of Persia fix then give the free first episode a try and you might, just might, like it a little bit.

Die Hard: Nakatomi Plaza sucks. All that follows is exposition thereon.