Spank!'s Scores

  • Games
For 144 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 38% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 60% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 2.1 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 73
Highest review score: 100 ISS Pro Evolution
Lowest review score: 4 WWF Royal Rumble
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 78 out of 144
  2. Negative: 10 out of 144
144 game reviews
    • 98 Metascore
    • 95 Critic Score
    This game is so phat man, it's sick.
    • Spank!
    • 97 Metascore
    • 95 Critic Score
    Perfect in every way. Except for the manual, which I've burnt along with every other first person shooter in the office games cupboard: there's no point in keeping either now.
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    • 95 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Where the game scores low is in the repeated use of cliched fantasy fodder in the shape of the narrative, nomenclature, audio and character portraits.
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    • 95 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    A lot more difficult than "Ocarina of Time" and not quite as user-friendly.
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    • 94 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    The twists and turns of the plot are brought to life on screen in a way that leaves you itching to find out what's round the next corner.
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    • 94 Metascore
    • 100 Critic Score
    Plays the opposition off the park. The best footy sim on the PlayStation, and possibly every other format as well.
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    • 94 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    There's plenty of challenging levels and the most blinkered PS2 stalwart would have to admit that it looks amazing.
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    • 93 Metascore
    • 84 Critic Score
    A brilliant game in it's own right but doesn't move on enough from the original to justify a bigger score.
    • Spank!
    • 93 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    SSX
    A big, big game with plenty to offer and - I can't emphasize this enough - lots of challenge - but it can be frustrating. Persevere with it, though, and you'll get a lot out of this.
    • Spank!
    • 93 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    This is the fastest, smoothest, most graphically sumptuous first person shooter available at the moment. Get used to the control method and you will be riveted; Get a mouse and a keyboard and you'll be unstoppable.
    • Spank!
    • 93 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Graphically the game is excellent, with crisp, clean characters and some very detailed textures.
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    • 92 Metascore
    • 85 Critic Score
    This is either a kind of gaming nirvana, or it's just a very clever piece of code that masks what is essentially a conservative and ultimately limited game.
    • Spank!
    • 92 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Due to the initial difficulty and a slight repetitiveness on part of the gameplay, it will make you wonder what the fuss is about, but once you do get in and begin to understand the level of customisation the game allows, it'll have you hooked.
    • Spank!
    • 92 Metascore
    • 92 Critic Score
    Graphically stunning, packed with features and playability out of the very top drawer.
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    • 92 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Witty, knowing, referential, and above all supremely playable, Conker is an absolute corker.
    • Spank!
    • 91 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    This is a surprisingly realistic simulation, and yet its overriding concern is to entertain. Which it does. In spades.
    • Spank!
    • 91 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The action is fast and exciting, the breasts still jiggle and the scene interaction could actually see you saying the word "wow!"
    • Spank!
    • 91 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Within the game, you have access to a variety of weaponry such as generic pistols, machine guns, sniper rifles and the Bond style briefcase rocket launcher. Oh yes.
    • Spank!
    • 90 Metascore
    • 88 Critic Score
    I love this game, and want to have its children.
    • Spank!
    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    It's not the all-encompassing experience of godly power that was suggested. You have to play it in a fairly rigid and organised fashion.
    • Spank!
    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Blending RPG features seamlessly with action elements and wrapping it all up with one of the better narratives to grace a PC game.
    • Spank!
    • 90 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The custom options are outstanding and there's tons of hidden stuff to find. The only real drawback are the painfully long loading times.
    • Spank!
    • 90 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Occasionally there is a bit of slowdown, but this is a perfectly fair price to pay for the huge wide-open levels and often stunning scenery and architecture.
    • Spank!
    • 90 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    If I had to choose my favourite (realistic) racing game, a couple of weeks ago I would have said Colin McRae but now it's most definitely the sequel.
    • Spank!
    • 89 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    One billion points for single handily dragging online RPGs out of a mire of orcs, beards and dreadful graphics. It's repetitive and shallow (kind of) but it's also amazingly beautiful, addictive and - believe it or not - socially rewarding and instructive!
    • Spank!
    • 89 Metascore
    • 86 Critic Score
    Everything that the original should have been.
    • Spank!
    • 89 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Same old gameplay which wrestling fans will lap up. There are enough new features in here to justify purchasing WWF No Mercy even if you already have "Wrestlemania 2000."
    • Spank!
    • 88 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    What is absolutely stunning is the total absence of formulaic gameplay. Even the best video game is somewhat formulaic after a fashion, but UFC is almost entirely unpredictable.
    • Spank!
    • 88 Metascore
    • 79 Critic Score
    It's not just doing the same rack & attack routine that it could have been, the programmers have added well thought-out missions that are good fun.
    • Spank!
    • 88 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    It combines the best of team based gaming with an authentic and therefore exciting approach to tactical ops.
    • Spank!
    • 88 Metascore
    • 88 Critic Score
    If you're going to buy one role playing game this year then this has to be it.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    What MSR fails to do is generate any real adrenalin rush.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 97 Critic Score
    Probably the most fun you can have with two people without having to clear up afterwards.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 88 Critic Score
    The game oozes quality like a sponge saturated with some extremely viscous liquid, but it fails on the grounds of lack of innovation and occasional lapses into cliched role-playing game territory.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 98 Critic Score
    I very much intend to retire from the human race and hibernate with this game.
    • Spank!
    • 87 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    At last a decent comic-book conversion that is extremely playable and will even appeal to those who aren't fans of the comic.
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    What is does deliver are moments of pure fun and exhilaration, and I commend it for not trying to be anything other than a pure blast and destruction on a huge scale which is what most of us want to see.
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 79 Critic Score
    Story, attention to detail, stunning visuals and exceptional character AI makes a standard shooting fare, compelling and enjoyable.
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Slightly shallow, but good, blood-splattered fun for all that, DC 2 is at the very least one of the most graphically accomplished arcade games you'll see on the PlayStation.
    • Spank!
    • 86 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Americans + Frenchmen - Nazis = Fun
    • Spank!
    • 85 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    A technically devastating graphics engine, the funniest script in computer games history, and a soupcon of strategy, together with imaginative and variety packed action.
    • Spank!
    • 85 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Frustratingly difficult at first, F355 rewards the patient gamer with an experience that just can't be beaten.
    • Spank!
    • 85 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    A bold breath of fresh air. It delivers an unrivalled single player experience and providing you have the hardware, delivers a stunningly realised world to explore. The only weak point is the combat system.
    • Spank!
    • 84 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Everything you could hope for in a Quake game is present and correct, with two glaring exceptions - mouse/keyboard control, and on-line play.
    • Spank!
    • 84 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Allowing the kind of mass battles that we've previously only dreamed of, this epochal title gives us war and so much more.
    • Spank!
    • 84 Metascore
    • 92 Critic Score
    The audio is wonderful and matches the graphics, though the storyline is fairly pointless, and there's a certain childlike quality to it that could annoy but was fine with me.
    • Spank!
    • 83 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    McRae Rally 2.0 oozes quality and demands to be played again and again.
    • Spank!
    • 83 Metascore
    • 87 Critic Score
    The overall experience could have been that much more rewarding had more attention been paid to the design.
    • Spank!
    • 82 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Overall this game totally rocks. I loved it.
    • Spank!
    • 82 Metascore
    • 83 Critic Score
    Removes some of the frustrations of the original game with the 5 extra careers paths, 120 new objects, 50 controllable families and addition of the genie and chemistry set.
    • Spank!
    • 82 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    AI flaws and a manual that takes rather a lot for granted make getting started a bit tedious, but when you do it's a great simulation that offers a whole lot more than the standard flight sim and a massive challenge to boot.
    • Spank!
    • 81 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    An excellent homage to "GoldenEye" -- it doesn't really have anything in the way of new ideas but in some ways it's a more enjoyable single player game than "Perfect Dark."
    • Spank!
    • 81 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Yeah, as far as games of the genre go, this is excellent.
    • Spank!
    • 80 Metascore
    • 94 Critic Score
    Nothing short of epic.
    • Spank!
    • 80 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Like the Soup Nazi from "Seinfeld" - it demands perfection from itself, so how can it expect any less from it's customers? Tough, but rewardingly so.
    • Spank!
    • 80 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    Hostile Waters is not only a superb PC game it's actually one of the very best games I've ever played.
    • Spank!
    • 79 Metascore
    • 88 Critic Score
    This is the best looking and most exciting version of "Bust-A-Move" so far.
    • Spank!
    • 79 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    A cracking title, that's so finely tuned and crafted as well as addictive and compelling.
    • Spank!
    • 78 Metascore
    • 90 Critic Score
    A great game, and one that will keep you entertained for hours, the plot will keep you amused and the various weapons in the game will make for a great action adventure.
    • Spank!
    • 78 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Fearsome Transformer-like Mechs (robot body suits) hurtle around the screen cutting loose with the big guns, laying waste to all and sundry, coming on like stern, iron harbinger's of Armageddon - it's great.
    • Spank!
    • 78 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    It's kind of brilliant - but it's also a bit of an underachiever, considering what could have been.
    • Spank!
    • 77 Metascore
    • 82 Critic Score
    It's still a decent blast in it's own right, just that it had potential to really excel and be top of it's class so it's a tad disappointing to see it falling short of that.
    • Spank!
    • 77 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    This is definitely a game for baseball fans.
    • Spank!
    • 74 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    It's the best in the series and possibly one of the best real time strategy games around. However if you own "Settlers III" then this is more like an upgrade than a whole new game.
    • Spank!
    • 74 Metascore
    • 81 Critic Score
    If you're an RPG fan you'll enjoy it; just bear in mind you'll need to go online to best experience it.
    • Spank!
    • 73 Metascore
    • 78 Critic Score
    Certainly not the deepest title you'll ever play and the control system can be horribly frustrating, but the atmosphere makes it worth persevering with, especially if you liked the movie.
    • Spank!
    • 73 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Oni
    Rock solid, all-action gameplay but misses out on a higher mark due to a few noticeable flaws.
    • Spank!
    • 72 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    This isn't some crappy product, rather, it's an extremely detailed, in depth shooter cum thinker that simply won't appeal to the pure arcade fan.
    • Spank!
    • 71 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    The finest gunplay action seen on the Playstation since the original.
    • Spank!
    • 71 Metascore
    • 78 Critic Score
    A perfectly acceptable blast with a welcome emphasis on mass carnage ahead of the recent trend for more exploration-based titles.
    • Spank!
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    But if you want a game that's best in short sharp bursts, good fun and mildly relaxing to boot, you could do a lot worse.
    • Spank!
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    Oni
    Unlike many of today's action-girl heroes Konoko isn't all about big boobs and tight butt-cheeks. In contrast to a certain someone she spends the game firmly ensconced in kevlar body armour and combat fatigues.
    • Spank!
    • 69 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    There are more than enough game variants here to keep you happy, playable in a convoy of fully customisable off-road vehicles and across some really detailed and expansive terrain. Check it out, it's the ultimate backseat drive.
    • Spank!
    • 68 Metascore
    • 84 Critic Score
    A great RTS game with several nice wrinkles to distinguish it from the general morass that has become the norm recently.
    • Spank!
    • 65 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    I really, really enjoyed Gunman Chronicles, but the game is not without its weaknesses - though the graphics can be excellent, there are also some very amateurish textures present, as well as glitches that really should have been worked on.
    • Spank!
    • 63 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    While the lack of a light gun will disappoint some, and gamers looking for depth are barking up the wrong tree, Silent Scope offers some of the most stupidly pleasurable shooting action to be found on PS2 (or anywhere).
    • Spank!
    • 61 Metascore
    • 91 Critic Score
    As an excellent variation on the throw away RTS culture of the moment, especially for it's potential longevity on my play list and for some pukka explosions!
    • Spank!
    • 55 Metascore
    • 80 Critic Score
    As something of a year round Grinch myself, I enjoyed this game immensely, and its simple but entertaining action will satisfy both the younger player as well as more learned men (and women) of the world like you or I.
    • Spank!

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