Fahrenheit was ambitious and innovative in 2005, but ten years later it's just clunky and tedious.

Death Come True is a thriller devoid of tension, a comedy lacking in laughs, and a mystery that is unlikely to elicit more than a shrug.

Devouring Stars' main crime is that it's boring, and that's unforgivable on the App Store.

Disney continues the trend of crap movie games with this poorly made and cynically produced retread of a game we're all very sick of.

Like the home console version of Injustice: Gods Among Us? Want to unlock some trinkets for it and don't mind trudging through a repetitive fighter with minimal skill requirements? Then, this is for you... weirdo.

This conceptually solid music-based tunnel racer gets it all wrong in the execution, with disorientating track layouts and dull gameplay.

An occasionally bright game that's beaten into submission by difficulty spikes and shouty IAPs.

Playing it doesn't make you feel like a superhero or a supervillian, and the game makes unsatisfying use of the DS' technology. Lack of variety and an insistence on turgid fetch-and-carry missions seals this as one to avoid.

The iOS port of Liberation Maiden is a little prettier than the 3DS original, but the same faults remain firmly in place - joined by some irritating touchscreen controls.

A decent range of great value, genuine arcade classics neutered by poorly implemented controls.

A pretty atmosphere and reliance on nostalgia don't make up for the simple gameplay, low amount of content, and buggy nature of this release.

A good idea executed poorly, Capcom Arcade offers little worthwhile gameplay.

A dull, shockingly cynical waste of time, which is all about grinding for upgrades, and almost nothing about skill or strategy.

An abstract, atmospheric exploration adventure near-ruined by a breathtakingly ill-conceived iOS port.

Lacking much of the tone that made the movies great, Ghostbusters is about as fun as being forced to slowly trudge through slime, and being overcharged for the pleasure of doing so at a faster rate.

Gloomy Hollow manages to live up to its name, but not in a good way.

We're positive you'll want to avoid MGS Portable Ops Plus: a lacklustre single-player mode, unfriendly interface, and minimal new content make it comprehensively inferior to its predecessor.

A considerable improvement on the first DS iteration, but still not the definitive Harvest Moon.

Typically, Crayola Treasure Adventures is a far better colouring-book than it is a game. There's very little range, and the mini-games won't hold your kids' attention for long, but if you're sick of losing crayons down the back of the couch this may be for you.

Repetitive action and a largely vacuous storyline do nothing to disguise the fact that DJ Rivals is essentially an advert for its Facebook-based big brother Nightclub City.

Buggy and unresponsive, NBA 2K12 isn't worth the money.

Like a dodgy pilot episode, Stargate SG1: Unleashed is badly written, poorly paced, and really quite dull.

A dull little game that makes being a deity feel decidedly average, Fury of the Gods isn't worth your time.

It's cute, but Hose it Down is an uninventive puzzler, filled with dumb design decisions and a paywall as soon as it really gets going.

An uninteresting matching puzzler that's slotted into a structure big on monotony, Cradle of Rome demonstrates game concepts shouldn't be built in a day.

Somewhere within Earn to Die 2 are the ingredients for some exhilarating ‘one more go' jeopardy-based gameplay, but the recipe used here is downright repulsive.

Brakes are for Losers has some nice ideas, but the package is one that's going to leave you frustrated more often than not.

Bladeslinger's combat is a mess, the controls are clunky, the story is dull, and the whole thing is hobbled by monetisation. Avoid.

A dull and uninspired mess of a physics puzzler, Rabbids Big Bang is one to avoid.

Noble Nutlings tries to achieve that elusive Angry Birds-style charm and simplicity, but ends up being frustrating, expensive, and simply rather joyless.

The license promises much but Lord of the Rings: Conquest is a cheap cash-in that should be avoided. Even Grima Wormtongue would have to agree

Noblemen: 1896 tries its hand at something different, but in the end it's too muddled and clunky to enjoy.

About as mind-numbing as brain surgery, Lifesigns: Hospital Affairs concerns itself too much with gossip rather than gameplay. It's an utterly dull game that's better left on the operating table.

Gangstar Vegas is a surprisingly unpleasant game that's a bit too broken and a bit too hollow to recommend.

Forget the freemium fluff: Real Football 2012's big problem is that its attempt to simulate the beautiful game is left sorely wanting, with jagged and jerky matches undermining all the social slop Gameloft's slapped on top.

The Caligula Effect: Overdose has one good idea, and it squanders it with a bunch of other terrible choices.

Lack of challenge, cluttered screens, dumbed-down controls and repetitive gameplay make Guilty Gear Dust Strikers a brawler to avoid.

Slowdown, loading screens, and AI woes plague Tiny Troopers: Joint Ops all too often, leaving it a disjointed game at best.

A bit more entertaining than reading a textbook, only not as effective. Stick to Minna no Nihongo and Japanesepod101.

Mixing cute with boring, Tamagotchi Connection Corner Shop quickly becomes so routine you should be paid £5 an hour to play it.

Alien vs Predator: Evolution is a broken, uninspired, frustrating mess of a brawler. Even fans of the series aren't going to find much to like in this tie-in game.

An average slingshot physics game spoiled by a pitiful fantasy veneer and an irritating freemium payment structure

The attempt to make Line Rider into a DS game fails thanks to fiddly controls and the fact it's not as fun or convenient as the web version.

There's simply not enough here to warrant the ludicrous price tag. Only diehard Pokemon fans need apply.

It doesn't take a genius to work this one out - The X-Files: Deep State is boring, uninspired, and not worth your time.

Tedious, complex, and unappealing on a variety of levels, D&D Tactics may have authenticity in spades, yet it lacks a modicum of accessibility.

At best, it's a bland, repetitive Silent Hill-skinned dungeon-crawling grind. At worst, it's a vacuous vandalism of a treasured horror brand.

Indeed, so much of what was an otherwise quality adventure has been lost in the transition, this is more like a book of the film where half of the pages have been torn out. Avoid.

Like a blackout at the Super Bowl, NFL Quarterback 13 leaves you wondering where all the football gameplay went.

Fumes Stunt Racer pays tribute to a gaming classic, yet fails to recapture the original's magic through a combination of poor handling, harsh linear progression, and glaring omissions.

Offering no discernible improvement over its lacklustre predecessor and paling in comparison to more accomplished DS football titles, PES 2008 is best relegated to bench-warming duty.

Impressive handling and a decent package of race events completely undermined by technical issues and clumsy execution.

For all its silliness, Soccer Slammers is just too random to be really engaging.

Looks good, but over-complicated controls and needlessly lengthy bouts mar Rocky Balboa, making it a real test of stamina and patience.

Even if you leave to one side its overtly aggressive freemium pricing scheme, Plants War is still an unpleasant and bland slog.

A decent enough puzzling sequel that's ruined by an overbearing and unpleasant payment system, Where's My Water? 2 is a soggy mess.

Naruto: Path of the Ninja may star a sprightly yellow-haired youth, but its gameplay is old and tired. Even fans of the manga are going to have a hard time choking down this stale piece of gaming.

A disappointing effort that manages to stall on nearly every count from lacklustre racing to limited content to technical issues preventing play.

It might be cute, but Oh Hi! Octopi is tedious, finicky, and almost entirely incomprehensible

A capable game destroyed by inexcusable loading. Heavy petting has rarely been less appealing.

Third Blade looks the part but the pretty visuals are merely a façade to cover up some painfully uninspiring gameplay and an in-app purchase system which practically forces you to dig deep in your pockets to advance.

It's too short, feels tired and repetitive – not unlike war, Fighter's Battle seems mostly futile.

A poorly put together dungeon crawler with little personality and bad controls.

Deadly Premonition 2's is a game built exclusively for fans of the original, and even they will be put off by the endless bugs, horrible performance, and questionable design.

More flawed than fun, Star Wars: Imperial Academy is a mess of a shooter that fails to do justice to ngmoco's FPS track record or the Star Wars universe.

Danger Boat is a perfectly pleasant, but completely uneventful entry in a very tired genre. There are at least seventeen zillion better endless-runners on the App Store.

Shoddy conversions of shoddy conversions – some of these weren't worth playing in the first place, let alone again.

A painfully simple pair of ideas that are executed poorly and endlessly recycled.

If the thought of shooting innocent woodland animals in slo-mo through X-ray specs doesn't make you flinch from the game, the freemium costs probably will.

A sad and sloppy platformer with little to recommend it, Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project is best left to the annals of history.

Random Runners adds nothing new to the auto-runner genre, except frustration, unfair design, and grinding for currency.

Mediocre stealth action is the order of the day in this forgettable sequel.

While fun in short bursts, the DS version of Cake Mania lacks depth and overly repeats on you. Burp.

Without a strong grasp of the basics to make up for the improvements it tries and fails to implement, The Drowning is simply a boring shooter, with invasive IAPs, and so-so controls.

WALL-E doesn't annoy or offend, but looks terrible and doesn't entertain either, and that leaves it only fit for landfill.

Ruh-roh! Another "Don't worry, the children will never see past the licence to realise the game is rubbish" attempt unmasked.

You never feel in time with the music, the scattershot levels will infuriate those looking for their next auto-runner, and the IAPs are horrendous.

Speedboat Paradise is equally uninspiring and unpleasant, and the tiresome races simply aren't worth all the grinding and waiting.

Good-looking but ultimately vacuous – and I'm not talking about the celebs - this 2D shooter is a one-dimensional disappointment.

What was a great console game almost 20 years ago simply doesn't work on a touchscreen.

The worst PSP version of Need for Speed to date, Need for Speed Undercover feels like a muddled attempt to revive the spirit of past glories.

Whether it's stealth, driving or shooting, the game feels limited and unengaging, is hampered by unresponsive controls and completely lacks the necessary polish of a modern production.

Keep your coffers shut and do not contemplate putting this in your UMD drive – tis utter rubbish, for sure.

There simply isn't enough to do, especially for a 3DS game. Throw in poor dialogue and barely evident stereoscopic 3D effects, and Bird Mania 3D just isn't worth your time.

As gorgeous as it looks, and as clever as it sounds, Wide Sky plays like a mess.

A bland and boring shooter with no surprises or fresh ideas within, R.I.P. Rally is an ugly shambles.

A dreary button masher that's neither interesting or exciting enough to recommend.

Spy Hunter's poor handling and dire visuals make this one of the least impressive PS Vita titles to date. Even long-term Spy Hunter devotees will struggle to get behind this one.

Too easy and too slow, aside from the wonderful visual design, there's very little in AMF Bowling Pinbusters! to sustain your interest. Lack of touchscreen play only serves to add to the disappointment.

A remake of an old WarioWare mini-game, Paper Plane is simple, frustrating and almost completely without merit.

Ugly, cumbersome to control, and lacking fun, Resident Evil Mercenaries VS. casts a dark spot on Capcom's survival-horror franchise.

Less an adolescent social simulation and more a lesson in pandering, Brooktown High fails to make the grade.

Although Double Shot won't necessarily disappoint fans of the series, and vintage games generally, it's an extraordinarily lazy sequel that trades on the moderate success of a 20-year-old arcade game.

While it's not actually broken or violently offensive, Hurry Up Hedgehog! is one of the most listless bits of shovelware going. Get the original board game if you must, but give this a miss.

A bland experienced robbed of energy and excitement by identikit missions and limited level design.

Some interesting gimmicks can't disguise what is essentially a lacklustre street-racing title.

A game about tapping the screen. And that's about it, really.

Naruto Shippuden 3D: The New Era is a lesson in how not to do platformers. A shoddy effort.