Stressful platforming action made infuriating by a bad camera. [January 2013, p78]

A game destined for the chopping block. [Summer 2009, p.78]

The only way this Vita version differentiates itself from the umpteenth Ridge Racers out there is the way it feels like a demo. You only get three cars and five tracks and no solo career. Want more content? Start paying, sucker. [April 2012, p79]

Battleship could never work as plain shooter. It's a facsimile of a facsimile that tries to pay homage to some of the biggest shooters out there but ends up ripping them off and in turn ends up being bland, characterless yet functional. The RTS elements definitely add an extra layer, but the strategic payoff is muted by near-constant nannying needed to keep them – and the game – afloat. [June 2012, p79]

Feelplus has been so single-minded in their efforts to create a unique drop-in/out multiplayer concept, they forgot the importance of welding it onto a singleplayer game that's worth replaying and buddying-up for in the first place. And without other humans running through your game, helping, hindering – or just making things interesting at all – you're stuck playing a mind-numbing shell of a game. Or, as the case will be, not playing it. [Mar 2011, p.79]

The career mode is insultingly linear, short-lived and your progress through it is interspersed with cheesy live-action videos of people giving you mad props for kooking your way through. In addition, when you take into account its sub-par visuals, a physics system from four years ago, and the ludicrous price of admission; RIDE is pure frustration made plastic. [Apr 2010, p.71]

Everything we loath about Eastern European developed games, and nothing we like. [September 2014, p70]

An abysmal failure. No sense of excitement, fear or anything. [July 2009, p.76]

What the avid propeller-head wants is realism, depth and tactics – all of which Damage Inc. does not deliver. There's no dynamic damage, your cockpit gauges may as well be crayoned on, and while the controls are responsive, this game cares not for your Earth-air physics. [December 2012, p74]

Getting your arm chopped off might actually be a better option. Just avoid this. [May 2014, p74]

As a shooter, you’ve been here a hundred times before. As an Aliens game it suffers the pressure of the legacy on which it’s built, and the story is diabolically woeful. Game over, man. [April 2013, p72]

The biggest problem with Naughty Bear is, while it's subversive, unique and wildly imaginative, it's flawed in a few crucial areas. The camera is the worse offender. It isn't beyond managing, but it could've been more cooperative. [August 2010 p74]

A hard sell even for die-hard Transformers fans, Rise of the Dark Spark brings nothing new to the table. [September 2014, p72]

Bland, lacklustre and devoid of excitement. Expect it to hit nothing but net as it lands in your local bargain bin. [January 2014, p77]

The good looks of most JRPGs will be in some way anime-influenced, but Time and Eternity is flat-out anime that you play. With that comes the often cringe-worthy plotting of the latterday art form, too.[September 2013, p77]

This was an ambitious production, but it boils down to sluggish platforming and repetitive fetch quests. [June 2010 p78]

From the first mission to the last, J.A.S.F. is left to rot by the arcadey and capable Ace Combat for sheer thrills, embarrassed by the variety of missions offered in H.A.W.X. 2, and technically outperformed by the more serious IL-2 Sturmovik. [February 2012, p.76]

Poorly presented and boring. Little difference between each mode.[April 2013, p78]

In the movie Skyfall, James Bond is accidentally shot off the top of a train as he pursues a bad guy and falls into a river below. All the stages in 007 Legends are the spy's sort-of memories of previous missions as he plummets into the river, all based on previous films. Honestly, he'd be better off being totally knocked out. 007 Legends is awful. [Christmas 2012, p.82]

Enemies are flat-out dumb. On more than a dozen occasions we left Perseus (not voiced by Sam Worthington) standing in front of a foe, completely inert. He stood there for so long, not being attacked, that he sheathed his sword and stared back at the dullard in front of him. It took 18 seconds before anything happened. [August 2010 p78]

It’s a shame Ace Banana can be so flustering, because there is a decent shooting gallery to unpeel here. [January 2016, p76]

Painkiller Hell & Damnation is a short, unattractive beast that will sink its claws into you if you give it half a chance. But be warned: it could also be a throwback that may fly right over the head of a modern FPS gamer. [September 2013, p76]

Nowhere near ripe enough to consume. Just a big ol' bale of boredom. [December 2013, p78]

Yawn of the dead, people. Buggier than a petrol station sausage roll and it’ll give you the shits for much longer. [January 2015, p73]

There are more immediate giggles to be had in the Story Mode, which is rib-tickling to wade through, although "wade" is definitely the word. It really just boils down to running around dodging either projectiles or up-close Family Guy caricatures, like angry college guys with deadly melee bongs. Then you either cap 'em or bash 'em, and maybe collect a few things while being funneled towards your next inane but comical goal. [January 2013, p72]

In 20 palette-swapped stages you’ll need to awkwardly flap your way through rings, whilst managing a stamina bar. Horrific collision detection abounds and you’ll spend more time in the wings watching load screens than getting airborne. [September 2013, p80]

It's fitting that the developers are called Mastiff, because this game looks like a dog's breakfast. Each mission is a waterlogged shamble through the land that time and PS2 forgot, where you'll have to re-kill the same six simpletons over and over. [February 2012, p.75]

After the last two Iron Man games we're honestly not even sure why anybody bothered. [July 2011 p.83]