There's no reason to play The Golden Compass unless the movie or book absolutely monopolizes your imagination. [Jan 2008, p.62]

Classified: The Sentinel Crisis couldn't flop much harder if it had gills and a hook in its chops. [July 2006, p.81]

Unfortunately, the major addition for its XBLA debut - Kinect integration - is poorly implemented, leaving an otherwise shallow and dated experience.

Dated gameplay and gags. [Sept 2010, p.81]

Online play undercut by crummy design choices. [Mar 2010, p.83]

Inertial dampers prevent a sense of speed, and our comm link forces pilots to endure commands repeated endlessly in battle. [Dec 2003, p.100]

Snoop has been involved in some lame non-musical ventures over the years, but Way of the Dogg may be a new low.

It's fun for the first level, and that's about it. [Oct 2009, p.77]

Online deathmatches are an abandoned ship. [Sept 2010, p.81]

With better tuning, this could be a much more fun game. As it is, we'd strongly advise you to check out the game's finicky controls for yourself in the demo before you commit. [Jan 2008, p.66]

As a community, we must save the children...from mediocre cartoon-based cideogame adaptations like this one! [Holiday 2006, p.76]

You're better off slamming something in a car door....and that's free. [Holiday 2009, p.80]

Unless you're gung-ho to get 600-plus gamerscore in six hours, you're better off just revisiting the TV show. [Jun 2010, p.82]

Flick the fanboy switch off, though, and you're left playing a game in bad need of a little more technical polish and a whole lot of more variety. [Jan 2011, p.73]

The problems start with control. The response isn't razor sharp, the special moves aren't spectacular, and the Netbuster specials are too easy to pull off. [Jan 2004, p.73]

Predictably, you’ll have a much better time blasting away in by-the-numbers deathmatch, team deathmatch, and capture-the-flag engagements — well, if you can find any other players in the ghost town that passes for Scourge’s multiplayer lobby. Given the game’s crippling problems, it’s hard to blame folks for staying away in droves.

Spend your $50 on something--anything--else. [Jan 2011, p.81]

Moderately challenging and entertaining, Acme Arsenal is nevertheless far from memorable. [Nov 2007, p.99]

Real Steal's fisticuffs are a half step above the usual movie-based dreck, but the constant rattle of a beggar's tin cup in your face only grows more distasteful over time.

Battle: Los Angeles is a slapped-together shooter that'll take you less time to finish than it does to watch the movie it is based on--and it'll cost you almost the same amount of money. [June 2011, p.81]

Crusade sports some solid ideas (a "cursed realm" you can switch to on the fly is a neat concept that doesn't quite work), but sadly, it suffers most from ho-hum pacing and rinse-repeat gameplay.

The result is a brutally slow pace and a game that doesn't pack much of anything for anybody. The AI is horrendous, the control is abysmal, and the announcing... [Jan 2004, p.73]

When Multiverse is at its best, you'll enjoy its clever quips and competent shooting. Unfortunately, these highlights are all too rare.

This third-person adventure had a lot of potential, but the bugs and overall sloppy design make this sweet treat leave a bad taste in our mouths. [Oct 2005, p.102]

Put your $10 toward a newspaper subscription instead. [Oct 2008, p.85]

Do yourself a favor: leave R.I.P.D. in its grave.

Horrendous camera and targeting system. [Apr 2009, p.79]

An entertaining experience in short bursts - assuming you can overlook the occasional misstep.

Though the real world environments aren't ugly, this Cabela's, ptarmigans and all, is simply pterrible. [Jan 2008, p.69]

You might well opt to buy stat upgrades or temporary performance-boosting items instead, for the sake of simple one-on-one multiplayer confrontations. But because stat upgrades make little difference in the field, and you can carry only a single boost item at a time, you're probably better off just playing something else altogether.

Poor value is the real deal-breaker, though. Because Battleship weighs in at just seven single-player missions and zero multiplayer (seriously???), it's only a few hours of mindless fun, and you can easily beat it in a long afternoon. For $60, we deserve a game that sinks battleships, not wallets.

Less than 60 minutes of uninspired gameplay for $30. [Aug 2010, p.81]

Endlessly bashing dim-witted hordes becomes mind-numbing almost to the point of hypnosis. Unless you’ve got some oddly strong hankering for scatological silliness, it’s probably best to simply flush twice and not look back.

Some subjects will just never translate well into videogames--like anything related to proctology, Paris Hilton, or, yes, MTV shows. [Feb. 2007, p.79]

The game does have a few bright spots. Its cel-shaded art style is fun to look at, and the level designs — which include a museum with a huge medieval-castle exhibit, plus an artificial forest inside a skyscraper — are unique and memorable. But that’s not enough to recommend what’s otherwise a stiff, banal mess of wasted potential.

Despite the brevity and repetition, plenty of bugs plague these turtles. From low-level quirks like characters getting caught on objects in the environment, to high-level issues like A.I. partners abandoning us or a hacking minigame causing freezes, the amount of glitches in Out of the Shadows is pretty alarming.

Watching a B-movie can be cheesy good fun. Playing and paying money for one...that's a nightmare. [Sept 2007, p.79]

With a great story and production values, that might've been enough, But everything about the game is less-than-heroic, including Thor himself. [Aug 2011, p.77]

Mediocre. [Nov 2009, p.78]

You'd think it would be hard to mess up a samurai game, but developer Genki has managed to deliver a royal swordplay stinker with Kengo: Legend of the 9. [Dec 2007, p.76]

Despite its baffling looks, booming resonance, and asymmetrical layout, Rock Revolution’s controller is not actually the game’s biggest problem; it’s Rock Revolution’s note charts and the onscreen icons that make the game so joyless.

The game's mission objectives shouldn't be this frustrating, but much of that aggravation washes away when your limping, cracked-visor, ammo-depleted mech fires off a miracle shot to live another day. War has never been this intense, and you should try to take part.

The actioner certainly has polished visuals, but too often suffers from repetition: see enemy, cast spell, repeat. [Jan 2011, p.75]

Instead of Gears' gritty realism, Quantum employs flamboyant machismo, with less impressive graphics. [Nov 2010, p.79]

The fighting engine is too simple, too easy to exploit, and just, well...you know, average.[Holiday 2004, p.78]

A sea of generic combat - you face an endless meat train of brain-dead A.I. schmucks that can't shoot straight and leave behind guns and ammo that mysteriously disappear at random. [Sept 2007, p.77]

Enemy paths are obvious, and at times, they'll forget to shoot at you. Meanwhile, you'll die behind cover much too often, requiring you to restart the whole level...If you can forgive these flaws, Blackwater is old-school arcade fun, and a solid step in making a hardcore Kinect game.

Keying on the show's rudimentary (and universally derided) animation instead of its wonderful writing and goofy humor demonstrates an atrocious error in judgment. [May 2008, p.76]

Mediocre. [Nov 2002, p.125]

A formidable--and utterly indefensible--$10. Why, Konami!?! [Sept 2008, p.79]

It's sloppy, boring, and inauthentic.

Torino's 2006's lack of ambition and polish keeps it in the corner to be quietly steamrolled by college hoops and MLB spring training. [Mar 2006, p.78]

Appalling.

Leave your superhero cape at home; Dream Chronicles instead begs for a mouse and keyboard--but this is a 360 game, and there's no such pairing in sight. [Jan 2011, p.76]

After playing through it, I can safely say that there's nothing redeeming about this dud. [Jan 2004, p.79]

"Quotation Forthcoming"

The individual layers of variation don't run terribly deep, and offline exhibitions only cast a harsh light on amateurish A.I. flaws, but Double D Dodgeball's offbeat mix of arcade action and online sporting teamwork still packs enough fast-paced intensity and simple strategy to be worth inviting to recess. [Sept 2008, p.77]

You might be itching to try a new crab-fishing sim, but don't fall into Sea of Chaos' minigame-laden trap. [Feb 2011, p.81]

Someone desperately needs to declare the Army Men franchise KIA, and spare gamers from any future war atrocities. We surrender! [July 2006, p.81]

Overly linear levels, repetitive fights, and a distinct lack of polish. [Oct 2009, p.75]

While it's cool to watch John get wacked in one of the nice CG cutscenes, the actual six hours of gameplay leaves much, much, much to be desired. [Feb 2004, p.82]

As a pre-order freebie, Ignition isn't bad, but it isn't worth paying for or playing through otherwise. [Jan 2011, p.69]

Tries to be more than a straight shooter, requiring you to use cover and tactics. But it's like putting a turbocharger on a Yugo: pointless. [Jan 2005, p.74]

Many courses are so pointlessly complex and poorly laid out it's imossible to tell which way to turn. [Dec 2002, p.92]

You're left with awkward, stilted voice-acting, serviceable graphics, and rote button-pushing that feel less like a game experience and more like channel-surfing on your couch. Skip.

When a game's only achievement is that it's a better World War II shooter than "Hour of Victory"--and just barely--it's time to pack it up and just go home. [Feb 2008, p.79]

A couple hours of this, and even staunch drag-racing fans will evacuate the scene as fast as they can peel rubber. [Oct. 2006, p.81]

Aging starfighters might be grateful to have a new galaxy to save, but mostly they'll be left pining for the lost glory days of Wing Commander IV and Privateer 2. [July 2011, p.81]

But the biggest bug of all came when Fireburst simply stopped working, and hard-froze our console any time we tried loading an event. Deleting and downloading the game anew didn’t help; we had to start over using another gamertag. Were we not reviewing this horrendous, bug-ridden racer, we would’ve taken that as a welcome sign to burn it from our memories and never look back.

Here, you’ll find little beyond groaners, pedestrian prattle, and underdeveloped monotony. Find another path to walk.

We never thought the day would come where we'd so dislike a Bomberman game, but by being needlessly lacking in the most crucial areas, Act Zero is impossible to love. [Sept 2006, p.78]

With gameplay that doesn't really change(you use the same A-button sequence every...single...time), AMF is inoffensive but repetitious. [Oct. 2006, p.81]

For a game that plays up its characters’ sex appeal, Girl Fight is stupefyingly unattractive. The character models look like last-gen remnants, and their complete lack of personality and combat pizazz makes them utterly forgettable.

Even if Game Party was the only party-oriented Kinect game, we still wouldn't recommend it. [Feb 2011, p.73]

It's like the game was born with cement shoes - destined to sink. [Feb 2005, p.80]

Unless you're a complete Shrek enthusiast, or a party-game addict, file this one under "don't bother." [Feb 2003, p.80]

At 30 bucks, Farming Simulator 2013 mainly reminds us why the expression “bought the farm” has such negative connotations.

We've reached the point in the 360's lifecycle where even movie tie-ins have decent graphics. Too bad that the only part of Megamind: Ultimate Showdown that doesn't totally suck. [Feb 2011, p.83]

Exceptionally poor: we imagine Bruce is rolling in his grave right now. [Oct 2002, p.109]

It’s a generic zombie story to a Z, and not helped by horrible visuals that awkwardly recycle character models and stages. Together, these elements make the game feel like a reanimated corpse.

It's often difficult to tell where your character's bullets are heading and sometimes tough to see if environmental elements are being affected by your gunfire, both of which are vital in a shooter.

A strangely bland fighting game. [Jan 2002]

Nothing bout the experience stands out, and in eschewing modern enhancements and conveniences, the developer hasn't crafted a purer or more-to-the-point shooter--just a much less interesting and impactful one. [April 2014, p.72]

The story is almost laughably bad, but a laugh would give it some value, and it really is value-less! [Feb 2006, p.79]

Coupled with a limited soundtrack(just nine songs, split between J-Pop anthems and corny keyboard jams)and uninteresting original characters, Beat'n simply feels like a half-hearted attempt to introduce an old game to a new audience. [Holiday 2008, p.83]

Baja 1000 sputters by with what just might be the worst vehicle handling of the decade. [Jan 2009, p.75]

It's painfully repetitive, and though you play as anti-hero Griffin, the added backstory just isn't that interesting. [May 2008, p.72]

Yapping lies into a mic is a unique and creative idea, but Truth or Lies never works like it should, and there's no reason to play it beyond nabbing easy Achievements. [Jan 2011, p.65]

Good luck ffinding a game on Live, anyway--the servers are barren, and with cut-rate production values like this, it's not hard to see why. [Holiday 2008, p.83]

Fustercluck. [Feb 2010, p.88]

A bizarrely conceived, thinly veiled pseudo point-and-click adventure with some very simplistic fighting sequences. [Jan 2003, p.80]

Stay far, far away. [Holiday 2010, p.58]

It totally lacks imagination or polish. Toss this one back. [Nov 2003, p.102]

Outside of the core gameplay, the career mode is a bore, the cartoony visual style is ugly, and the voice implementation is super-sloppy. Even as a Live Arcade game, Main Event wouldn't rank high on the fight card. As a fully priced retail Kinect game, it's an embarrassment.

You still can't heal or even take enemies' weapons, although some minor gameplay improvements make this sequel better than "Berlin", so we are upping the score to a full 2.0 [Dec. 2006, p.84]

Its novel setup could've made Amy an exciting, emotionally charged adventure. Instead, it's a grueling death-march through a gauntlet of poor design choices and feckless player punishment.

It's ultimately dragged down by erratic control, sloppy design, and wildly jarring changes in camera angle. [June 2003, p.82]

For the Hannah fan in your household, pick up Disney's Sing It instead. [July 2009, p.84]