Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,720 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 The Talos Principle 2
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1720 game reviews
    • 59 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Despite the clear effort that went into build diversity and satisfying naval combat, Skull and Bones’s core gameplay loops simply aren’t enough to stop this ship from sinking. Mindless grinds, tedious busywork, and a complete lack of any meaningful gameplay hooks outside of the core combat result in an experience that feels incomplete despite the plethora of Ubisoft checklists that there is to work through in your time at sea. If you’re someone who enjoys tinkering with builds and doesn’t mind grinding for materials in a constant pursuit of that next upgrade for hours on end, then you may find something to like here. Otherwise, this is a voyage into tedium-induced insanity that you can definitely afford to miss.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Zombie Rollerz: Pinball Heroes is not a game I can really recommend. Whether you’re a fan of rogue-lites or pinball games, there are numerous options out there that will provide vastly better experiences for your money. Whilst it does have an admittedly interesting concept, a complete lack of balance and poor optimization completely squanders any potential this unique hook might hold.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Modern Warfare 3 should not exist in its current form. This world, these characters, and modes such as zombies deserved better, especially after Modern Warfare 1 and 2 laid the groundwork for a spectacular third entry with two carefully crafted reboots. If you’re purely in it for the multiplayer, then there may just be enough here in the nostalgia of revisiting old maps to warrant a purchase, but that is the only grounds on which Modern Warfare 3 might prove an acceptable product. For anyone looking for their next action-packed campaign fix or hoping to see the zombies mode return to its former glories, you should absolutely avoid this year’s entry.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Kingdom of Arcadia unfortunately does little to elevate itself above the scores of other action platforming games just like it. It fails to take advantage of its setting, which could have resulted in a unique experience or at least something a little less predictable. It’s mildly amusing at best but derivative of everything that has come before it.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I can usually find something to enjoy in most any SHMUP, but outside of a killer soundtrack, there wasn’t much that redeemed Twin Cobra for me. The basics all more or less work, it isn’t broken, and there are certainly worse games out there, but there’s nothing it does particularly well, and the slow speed of your ship gets old very quickly, as do the bland looking levels. There are a couple of gems in this set of Toaplan shooters Bitwave Games are releasing today, but Twin Cobra simply isn’t one of them.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    At times the story of Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo can be interesting, but it never fully comes together. Succeeding neither as an homage to a great director’s work or on its own terms, it might be better served if it didn’t have the expectations its name provides, but that wouldn’t make it a great game. There are simply better adventure games more worth your time available this year.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I have similar sentiments when looking at Sword and Fairy Inn 2 as a whole – inoffensive yet uninspired and, unfortunately, boring. From the sloppy localization to the almost complete lack of direct player input that players have come to expect in things such as farming and cooking, it feels a little soulless. There is some satisfaction to be found in watching your tiny business grow into something more substantial, but the fact that you never really do anything to facilitate that growth beyond clicking through menus makes it all feel a touch impersonal. What’s more, is that the Switch is a console already drowning in quality cozy games that already let you live out the virtual life of your dreams, and on that basis alone, Sword and Fairy Inn 2 is a difficult product to recommend.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    If Postal 4: No Regerts was released 15 years ago it would just be buggy, ugly and dumb. Since it’s released today, it’s also very dated in its lame scatological humor. With an endless focus on making you do tedious errands, it can take a while before you get to the actual homicidal mania, and when you do, it’s a janky, repetitive letdown. Unless you’re the world’s biggest fan of poop and penis jokes, Postal 4: No Regerts is as much fun as watching someone laugh at their own farts.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Panorama Cotton was an incredibly impressive title in 1994, and nobody can take that away from it. Judged in 2021, though, there’s little reason for anyone to play it. It simply doesn’t hold up against similar titles. Clear and colorful visuals and competent shooting mean it isn’t exactly a chore, but nothing about it stands out today. This is a prime example of how some games are best left in the past.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    It never feels good giving a negative review. I sat on this for a full day, agonizing over scoring such a beautiful game poorly. But what other choice do I have when I had to restart multiple times for even a shimmer of hope to finish what I started? It’s possible Flow Weaver isn’t optimized for the Oculus Rift S despite what the website states, so if you have an Oculus Quest or Oculus Quest 2, perhaps you won’t experience the bugs I did. I do see on the game’s Oculus page that the dev team is working hard at tackling bugs, so if this even remotely interests you (which, for real guys, it has potential), keep an eye on it and check back in a month or two. But as it stands, I regrettably cannot recommend Flow Weaver in its current state.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    From Blair Witch: VR Edition’s unsatisfying attempts at terror to forgettable characters and absolutely poor graphics, you have plenty of reason to skip this hike through the woods. Throw in some game-breaking bugs and glitches to an already lacking experience, and your $29.99 is better spent elsewhere. Let this be a testament that horror games don’t always need a VR port to continue to be scary.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    There are faint glimpses at what could have been in the ship combat sections and the breezy narrative, and the short runtime does help mask some of the frustrations that plague the experience, but on the whole, it’s difficult to argue that Captain Blood wouldn’t have been better left in the depths it was salvaged from.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I really wanted to gush about Cardaclysm: Shards of the Four. But it’s just far too poorly optimized for Nintendo Switch. Hopefully, it runs better on PC, but I can’t confirm that. All I can say is it was a great premise held back by poor balance and mixed execution. I truly hope Elder Games learns from this release and makes an unstoppable card game in the future. As it is, I can’t really recommend this one, even to hardcore fans of the genre.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    At the end of the game, I really felt like there could’ve been a lot more Quintus and the Absent Truth. The acting felt flat, the themes weren’t as fleshed out as they should’ve been, and the only truly scary thing here is how short the whole experience was. I really wanted to see this succeed, as the art style brought some unique potential, but sadly the experience needs a lot more refinement to be as interesting in execution as it was in its premise.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Chernobylite is an enjoyable little loot n’ shooter sadly torpedoed by technical issues for the PS4 version. It’s such a shame that the intriguing storyline and the compulsive scavenging fun is completely ruined by bugs. I was looking forward to uncovering the dark mysteries lurking within Pripyat, but until the game-breaking errors are fixed, they will have to remain hidden.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Touken Ranbu Warriors is an extremely difficult sell for fans of Omega Force’s previous work, given how stripped back a product it is. Small scale battles that can be over in minutes, along with a complete absence of any meaningful progression or grind, completely rip the heart and soul from the now infamous 1 vs. 1000 formula. If you’re a fan of the Touken Ranbu franchise who has yet to sample a Warriors game, then you may find some joy in the depiction of the Touken Ranbu universe and the accessible nature of everything. For everyone else, however, it’s safe to say you can avoid this and hold out for the imminent release of Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes, which should hopefully have a little more meat on its bones for longtime Musou fans.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I’ve ended a lot of reviews of Switch ports over the years saying some variation of this may not be the best version of the game, but it’s worth your time if the Switch is your preferred platform. That’s not the case for Yakuza Kiwami. This version simply isn’t worth playing and it doesn’t matter whether you have another way to play the game or not. It isn’t just inferior; it feels terrible to play. Hopefully, the team behind this port will keep working on improving performance because there’s still a solid title underneath this version’s issues. Still, there are too many great experiences on the platform to spend your time on a game that feels like this.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Mina & Michi is undeniably cute, but that’s simply not enough. After the charm wears off, its gameplay is just too basic. It might be a good fit for younger gamers who need help, though. Let them control Michi while you do the rest of the work, and they’ll enjoy themselves. If you’re in the market for a breezy action game that you can complete in an afternoon, then check it out. It might be a good fit for speedrunners, too, as it has a built-in clock for that exact purpose.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    A nice look and decent pacing aren’t enough for me to recommend a game to pretty much anyone, though. I came in really wanting to like Lifeless Moon, but pretty much everything I enjoyed about it I could see in the screenshots and trailer. There are too many good puzzle games out there nowadays to spend time on one which has so little going for it.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Hell Pages is hardly a groundbreaking game, but it’s also not all bad. Though decidedly old school and occasionally primitive, it still has a solid core loop, outstanding tunes and hideous demonic boss battles. If you can get past the lack of weapon variety and the ho hum upgrades, you might find something to enjoy in this festival of monsters. For everybody else, get your Evil Dead fix from the source material.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I was hoping for something special with Undungeon, but sadly was utterly disappointed. This is an example of a game where less could have been so much more. It overburdens players with overly complex systems that weren’t intuitive or fun. Granted, it has stellar artwork and a cool premise, but that’s not nearly enough to fix what’s already broken. Despite tinyBuild’s recent track record of publishing high quality games, this is one I absolutely cannot recommend.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I truly wanted to love Krut: The Mythic Wings, but ultimately, it’s a title that is extremely difficult to recommend. With its bare-bones combat, imprecise platforming, and an over-reliance on grinding, it completely squanders the potential of its narrative and setting. Whilst there is some fun to be had with the boss fights, the fleeting moments of joy provided by these encounters are completely overshadowed by what a drag the rest of the experience is.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    The amateur-hour writing and uneven combat are just too difficult to overlook, especially considering just how stuffed the genre is with competing titles that do just about everything The Last Oricru does, only better. Sure there is fun to be hand in exploring Wanderia and its intricate level design, but every “wow” moment is typically followed by a facepalm, as Silver says something that is tonally deaf or falls to yet another attack that should have had no business hitting him. If you’re after another slice of Soulslike action in 2022, then your $40 can absolutely be spent better elsewhere, with The Last Oricru serving as little more than a pale imitation that struggles to even nail the Soulslike fundamentals.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Put simply, Cyber Citizen Shockman is a peculiarity of a retro game. Though I appreciate it being brought to new audiences some 30 years later, I can’t say it holds up very well. My hope is that the series grew over time and got much improved, since I know Ratalaika is bringing other games from the franchise to the West. But if you’re looking for an amazing retro experience, you’ll probably be disappointed with it.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Unfortunately Aniquilation squanders an interesting concept with poor level design that does its best to ensure that the various mechanics at play are nothing short of frustrating the majority of the time. There is some fun to be had if you can endure the frustrations and fight your way through to the later stages of Aniqulation’s levels, where the environments open up and it becomes more apparent what the developers were going for. Sprinkle in the technical issues, and Aniquilation is difficult to recommend to anyone other than the most dedicated of twin-stick shooter fans.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I hate to say it, but as it currently stands, this is not a worthwhile purchase — I can’t even recommend this to fans of the original movie because it’s still just as unplayable as it was all those years ago. I can only recommend Bill & Ted’s Excellent Retro Collection to those who, like me, were haunted by Bill & Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure and want to utilize the newly implemented save states to finally have a shot at finishing the game. But if Limited Run Games releases an update later with the maps? It might be a little less bogus then.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I really tried to enjoy Depths of Sanity. It’s a unique take on the Metroidvania genre, and it introduces some neat ideas. Sadly the execution of those ideas were held back by the awkward and consistently problematic controls themselves. As a result, even though the game has really great atmosphere and interesting concepts, most fans of the genre will likely lose patience incredibly quickly.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    I don’t know what happened with Crossroads Inn. I don’t know why, in the 3 years that have passed since the original release on PC, Crossroads Inn is still a confusing, buggy mess. I don’t know who thought Crossroads Inn was ready for the extremely small Switch screen in its current state. I typically pride myself in being a reviewer that can see the positive in any game and find the audience a title was made for, but when it comes to Crossroads Inn, I find I’m at a loss. If you must get this game, try it out on PC first to get a better feel for the controls and UI; if you only have a Switch, I can’t in good conscience recommend this game to you.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    And so it’s unfortunate, then, that every positive I just mentioned comes undone at the hands of that dreaded localization. There were stretches of gameplay where I was just grinding, or exploring, and for a moment I’d forget what a mess the translation was, immersed in Xuan-Yuan Sword’s perfectly serviceable gameplay loops. But, this is an RPG, and to this player, world-building, deep characterization, and dense lore that I can immerse myself in is just as important to my enjoyment of an RPG as gameplay is. There will likely be a portion of players who will be able to look past this issue, simply content at being able to play a game that had been out of the reach of Western audiences for so long, and that’s perfectly fine. As I’ve indicated, there’s a solid RPG here somewhere and I have no doubt that this would be a fantastic experience had the port been shown the love and care it deserves. As it stands, though, Xuan-Yuan Sword: Mists Beyond the Mountains is such a compromised experience that it’s impossible to recommend in its current state.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Critic Score
    Overall, My Time At Sandrock is a great game. There’s tons to do, and it’s got plenty of depth. If I had played it on, say, PC or PS5, I’m sure it would have run fine (or at least serviceable). But I didn’t. I played it on the Switch. And the Nintendo Switch Version of My Time At Sandrock is a crunchy, crusty, stuttering mess that I very much recommend that you stay away from.

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