It may go down in history as the least necessary game of all time. [Feb 2005, p.113]

The slow tracks still outnumber the fast ones; here's hoping the downloadable packages include a few more peppy songs. [Dec 2004, p.132]

While this may at first seem like a great way to pit all of Capcom's best fighters against each other, in reality it makes for an unbalanced mess. [Jan 2005, p.102]

Actually manages to make use of the touch screen in an interesting, though not vital, manner. It's too bad that the rest of the game is awful. [Feb 2005, p.111]

A half-assed first try. Fight Club falls flat. [Jan 2005, p.100]

If you're looking for a faithful and compelling GTA adventure, you'll likely be disappointed. [Feb 2005, p.84]

Merely an average action game featuring an overly sexy protagonist and an entertaining combat engine held back by myriad game-breaking glitches. [Jan 2005, p.106]

Even if players know a song front to back, the pace is awkward and destroys a sense of rhythm. [Dec 2004, p.104]

The biggest problem is pacing. Simply put, Headhunter: Redemption is monotonous and dull. [Nov 2004, p.124]

Though it features a few original ideas, its execution is lackluster and uninspired compated to its competition. [Oct 2004, p.112]

As a trivia contest, The Guy Game is merely average. As social commentary, we weep for the future.

A delicate blend of "You Don't Know Jack," "Girls Gone Wild," and repeatedly smashing your head against a concrete wall. [Oct 2004, p.116]

Bomb-collection out the wazoo, a grim but bland story line, and everything old packaged as if it were new. [June 2003, p.75]

A plodding pace serves to slow down the showdown - something as simple as escaping from a steel cage is an extended, boring affair. [Sept 2004, p.81]

Something this bad defies description. [Sept 2004, p.95]

It's a dull action-heavy first-person shooter emphasizing run-and-gun play rather than tactical warfare - with some noticeable slowdown when enemies and friendlies clog the screen. [Aug 2004, p.96]

Say it with us: Poorly implemented gimmicks do not make for entertaining games. [July 2004, p.89]

There's also a full set of uninteresting urban ethnic stereotypes rendered in starkly dated graphics and loudmouth fake gangsta sound bites. [Mar 2004, p.85]

PT is not worth your time or money. Almost every aspect of the game feels rushed. [June 2004, p.91]

Surma's camera is a hateful creation, demanding more attention than a sugar-buzzed toddler and never showing you what you need to see, including anyone who might be shooting holes in your stomach. [Feb 2004, p.86]

This game is so bad that it's insulting to both the talent behind it and the poor bastards who'll end up playing it. [May 2004, p.87]

But, as usually happens when you try to put too many spices in your gumbo, the whole thing would up tasting like an armpit. [June 2004, p.91]

An affront to Mega Man fans, card-battle enthusiasts, and gamers everywhere. [June 2004, p.83]

Fails at almost every level. The framerate shudders like a dying horse. [June 2004, p.86]

The only thing unreal that awakened while playing this game was the uncontrollable urge to vomit. [May 2004, p.80]

A hateful creation, demanding more attention than a sugar-buzzed toddler and never showing you what you need to see, including anyone who might be shooting holes in your stomach.

Adding to the pain are the annoying escort and defense missions, the meaningless story line, and throwaway two-player modes. This is the rare sequel that gets it all wrong.

The popular Japanese anime gets butchered here, and the in-game characters seem to have been modeled after the developers' nose goblins. [Mar 2004, p.93]

A hateful creation, demanding more attention than a sugar-buzzed toddler and never showing you what you need to see, including anyone who might be shooting holes in your stomach.

A decent racing game if you're into monster trucks and stadium races that are just over a minute long... Barely worth the effort. [Dec 2003, p.82]

Adding to the pain are the annoying escort and defense missions, the meaningless story line, and throwaway two-player modes. This is the rare sequel that gets it all wrong.

Armageddon, real or video style, should not be this uninspired. [Jan 2004, p.91]

All would be forgivable if the core gameplay were decent, but it sadly consists of pressing one button over and over again. There's absolutely no sense of rhythm, and results seem arbitrary at best.

The graphics are horribly bland, the freeways never end, and apparently all of Tokyo's traffic is represented by a single yellow van. [Feb 2004, p.91]

Eight-bit "Double Dragon" was more fun and more complex than this ostensibly 32-bit outing. What are they doing with all those bits, anyway? [Dec 2003, p.104]

If you play only one game set in Middle-earth this year, don't make it this one.

A crappy lock-on system snaps the Terminator's weapon right to a target, oftentimes one that's right underneath a grate and thus untouchable, all the while ignoring a more obvious threat.

It's technically competent, but Crash NKR does not offer a gaming experience anyone would call fun. [Jan 2004, p.56]

Throw in some uninspired third-person brawling, and, well, this turkey comes out as dry as the Sahara. [Feb 2004, p.86]

If you play only one game set in Middle-earth this year, don't make it this one.

If you play only one game set in Middle-earth this year, don't make it this one.

Factor in the lack of two-player action and all that's left is a tepid experience. [Feb 2004, p.91]

Factor in the lack of two-player action and all that's left is a tepid experience.

"Fu-Ma" (the included game) is both useless and boring. It's blurry graphics and awkward control (in an RPG?!) provide a sickening surety that no matter how much time you spend in design, the final result won't be worth playing. [Feb 2004, p.88]

This game gets almost every design decision wrong and looks like hell on top of that. [Jan 2004, p.91]

If you do manage to get around the wacky premise and unintuitive controls, there is some longevity to the game, with a massive set of "challenges" to complete - but that's a bit "if." Otherwise, seer clear. [Dec 2003, p.96]

Seriously, don't be tempted to suffer through this painful experience. [Jan 2004, p.56]

While DBS2 does an admirable job of capturing the platform jumping and heated brawling of Nintendo's more famous franchise, the game still falls flat. [Oct 2003, p.80]

Kids will quickly tire of the slow pace, and adults will just hate the mindlessness of it all. [Dec 2003, p.87]

It's one of those games that nobody really asked for, so that leaves only one group of people who will be buying Starsky & Hutch: suckers.

It's one of those games that nobody really asked for, so that leaves only one group of people who will be buying Starsky and Hutch: suckers. [Nov 2003, p.88]

Boring and repetitive... The best part of the game is when Vanessa flaunts her futuristic T&A as the credits roll. That's right, it's more fun than playing the game. [Oct 2003, p.73]

A rousing, gravelly, NFL Films-style introduction immediately gives way to slippery, sloppy, and outdated PS2 football. [Oct 2003, p.69]

Looks like it should be a fun game, but when you spend some time with it, it makes you want to chew your arm off. [Oct 2003, p.66]

Not funny enough to make you want to endure an uncooperative camera, a choppy framerate, ill-conceived jumping puzzles, terrible aim in the shooting levels, and poor collision detection. [Oct 2003, p.70]

So the pretty cool quests and diplomacy are sacked by sad combat that makes you frustrated and impatient. [Nov 2003, p.80]

Unresponsive controls, repetitive scenario design, and inconsistent A.I. [Oct 2003, p.74]

These ladies are hamstrung by weak animation, dinner-theater accents, and brain-dead A.I., and you can't appreciate their asses - uh, assets thorugh the long-range camera or motion-blurred replays. [Sept 2003, p.69]

Nothing more than a crappy checkpoint racer. [Sept 2003, p.69]

Controlling Lara is like a dream - that one where you simply can't get to where you want to go fast enough, no matter what you try. [Sept 2003, p.74]

A "Metroid Prime" wannabe that fails on almost every level. [Sept 2003, p.76]

Having every move consume HP is somewhat unbalancing when enemies already do so much damage, and the reworked HP/LP setup can be bafflingly random. [July 2003, p.72]

Under normal circumstances, this would be just tedious, but combined with endless deadite enemies and little in the way of ammunition and health packs, it's a sermon on frustration. [July 2003, p.79]

If hauling junk from A to B holds any sort of appeal, it withers in record time. [Aug 2003, p.72]

Since the fighting lacks rhythm and finesse, pounding one button can and will defeat a player who's foolishly making a good-faith effort to control his character. [July 2003, p.78]

As passive entertainment, ETM isn't bad...As interactive entertainment (as a game, that is), this Matrix is quite simply spectacularly average. [Aug 2003, p.76]

Including a coin-op arcade game called "Fag Hunter" in the game world is not only not funny, it's disgusting and hateful. [July 2003, p.73]

It's missing the original game's great controls and sense of speed, rendering all that other good stuff a wasted effort. [Sept 2003, p.80]

Sporting spiffy 3D graphics but little in the way of bang for the buck, Tao Feng quickly sinks into mediocrity and takes up permanent residence there. [May 2003, p.65]

Misses on just about every cylinder. [May 2003, p.71]

This game is a big, fat whoopie cushion waiting to be sat on. [Apr 2003, p.73]

Unless you hate life, avoid this. [Apr 2003, p.72]

The principal function of moving around is a chore and, combined with the overly fancy (and illegible) heads-up display, makes completing even the simplest missions more irritating than gratifying. [Apr 2003, p.68]

Incredibly dull and uninspired, full of weird A.I. behaviors, bad graphics, and crushingly boring ennvironments. [May 2003, p.72]

Then there's the weak, arbitrary enemy A.I., the impenetrable interface, and the absurdly incomplete documentation. [June 2003, p.70]

The upside is that various movie stills and comic art are unlockable secrets. Big whoop. [Mar 2003, p.72]

Physics don't play a big part in the proceedings; it's possible to ride a character full-speed into a wall, without any ill effects. [Feb 2003, p.72]

This game is underthought, quarterbaked, and hopeless. It's one of the worst games on the PS2. [Feb 2003, p.66]

Physics don't play a big part in the proceedings; it's possible to ride a character full-speed into a wall, without any ill effects. [Feb 2003, p.72]

Physics don't play a big part in the proceedings; it's possible to ride a character full-speed into a wall, without any ill effects. [Feb 2003, p.72]