Curling and figure skating, as engaging as they are, are not sufficient to rescue this sub-par package from non-league status. [June 2008, p.116]

Too short-lived to justify even the standard Live Arcade entry fee. [Aug 2008, p.113]

Erase those memories of halcyon days spent nurturing your arthritis with the original coin-op, because Streetwise does it no kind of justice. [May 2006, p.124]

Misguided, unfair and boring: a poor mix. [Issue#200, p.76]

A tendency to lose track of your player amongst hordes of slathering foes and a constantly changing camera spoils any potential fun ... leaving the whole package somewhat less than we were hoping for. [Dec 2003, p.124]

Erase those memories of halcyon days spent nurturing your arthritis with the original coin-op, because Streetwise does it no kind of justice. [May 2006, p.124]

A tech demo for the Move controllers disguised as a VR Game. [Issue#180, p.48]

Ease of play combines with the game’s slow pace to undermine all Taito’s good intentions. [Aug 2006, p.128]

It's time the developer started exploring the potential. [Issue#112, p.119]

Switching from an open threat such as the desert to the enclosed dangers of the Vietnamese jungle has caused Conflict: Vietnam to effectively cut out much of the need for having a squad in the first place; instead of having more freedom and creativity in taking down your enemies, your team become more like fish trapped in a jungle-shaped barrel. [Oct 2004, p.108]

A grubby looking, badly conceived and hastily programmed game that does nothing for the genre except add unnecessary limitations. [Apr 2005, p.110]

It highlights Kinect's flaws rather than showcases its strengths, sending out one, clear, reverberating message – Kinect simply isn't refined enough to unite the hardware with the hardcore.

Quite simply, Revenge… is the worst kind of Star Wars game - one that looks good enough to appeal to impulsive fans, but ultimately fails to deliver by being a horribly derivative, stale and linear example of the genre it so lazily falls into. [July 2005, p.114]

Omerta will certainly keep you occupied for long periods of time, but only if you’re punishing your attention span. The world itself is quick to drop you into the 1920’s experience, but never amounts to anything more than a lifeless shell. Factor in some embarrassing voice acting, painful writing and a reluctance for Omerta to ever truly let itself go wild with its concepts, and all you’ll left with is a hollow time consuming experience.

If seeing The Dark Knight Rises has inspired you to put the cape back on, do yourself a favour and go back to either of Rocksteady's games instead. Because this one is wearing hockey pads.

Bluth's journey concludes with a choice, but you'll have to repeat the journey to see the other ending. The prospect of spending two more hours with this self-pitying drunk may be too much for even Spate's Kickstarter backers to take. [Issue#147, p.121]

There are times when nostalgia wins out; when you realise this is an actual Cannon Fodder sequel, but that's quickly squashed down and washed away by a glitchy, boring and hugely underwhelming experience. In fairness, it's nowhere near as bad as might have been expected. But saying that about a game doesn't mean it's at all good.

A grubby looking, badly conceived and hastily programmed game that does nothing for the genre except add unnecessary limitations. [Apr 2005, p.110]

This is clichéd, tedious, frustrating nonsense, as archaic in its gameplay as it is banal in its story. [Sept 2005, p.120]

True, Beat Down isn’t entirely without potential, but the execution is woeful. For your own sake, avoid it at all costs. [Nov 2005, p.104]

We're cataclysmically disappointed that Rogue Agent even exists. Just when it seemed like EA had pulled its socks up and become a real unstoppable force with games to match its resources, we get this ' perhaps the most cynical and cobbled-together excuse for a key release we've ever seen. [Christmas 2004, p.111]

Salvation is too derivative, too short, and too repetitive to be a worthy recommendation. It feels the very definition of an easy movie cash-in. [July 2009, p.124]

What we have here is the absolute bare bones of the stealth genre mixed with shock video scenes that attempt to add flavour to the otherwise bland action. Essentially, the gameplay works as follows: track down a Hunter, get behind him, hold down the X-button...and...that's it. [Jan 2004, p.122]

Life in the flat is a painfully hollow experience to which the eventual moment of intimacy becomes an inevitable anti-climax. [May 2004, p.122]

A grubby looking, badly conceived and hastily programmed game that does nothing for the genre except add unnecessary limitations. [Apr 2005, p.110]

Despite its clever purpose it's lacking in execution and duration. [Issue#162, p.105]

Rigidity under the façade of freedom … prevents Rogue Ops from being aything other than a sub-standard stealth clone. Against the competition, which is growing stronger by the month, it's hardly surprising, but we expected better than this. [Feb 2004, p.110]

It’s an immense letdown – so much so that the first few hours of play are filled with disbelief, as players are forced to lower their expectations with each new disappointment...The Getaway: Black Monday should be avoided by all but the most fervent lovers of mediocrity. [Christmas 2004, p.112]

How ironic that Revenge Of The Fallen should be weighed down with options to keep you coming back, yet offer pitifully few reasons to play it in the first place. [Sept 2009, p.120]

Quite simply, Revenge… is the worst kind of Star Wars game - one that looks good enough to appeal to impulsive fans, but ultimately fails to deliver by being a horribly derivative, stale and linear example of the genre it so lazily falls into. [July 2005, p.114]

It offers all the right elements that the genre needs, but fails to utilise them in any particularly original, entertaining or - indeed - working state. [Issue#162, p.112]

Overall, Farming Simulator does not feel like a simulator – if the point of the game is to offer a realistic experience of what it’s like to run a farm, the game fails: people never fatigue (your staff will work straight through the 24-clock if left unattended), livestock produce is harvested by AI automatically and there’s a few game-breaking exploits that completely undermine the game.

To judge Enemy Front as a sum of its parts reveals it to be an FPS fraud - a pretender. [Sept 2014, p.104]

Lair amounts to nothing more than an unpleasant mixture of boredom and irritation. Not exactly the system seller that the machine is positively screaming out for. [Nov 2007, p.104]

Even if you could play Funk Of Titans on your phone, for free, it is so ludicrously sketchy and tedious that it would still be impossible to recommend. So on Xbox One, for the positively gaudy introductory asking price? No way, José.

Wait for Pro Evo 6 if you can, and in the meantime be happy with FIFA 06 if you really must play EA’s sim. [June 2006, p.122]

Dead ‘N’ Furious never scares or repulses, and neither does it attempt to be anything more than a shooting gallery with targets dressed up in bloodstained clothes. [Oct 2007, p.124]

It's hard not to wonder just what exactly High Voltage Software is trying to prove. [Issue#99, p.114]

Rise Of The Dark Spark feels rushed: a mess of half-baked ideas and sloppy execution that’s put Transformers on the same track as the Spider-Man games, approaching the point of no return.

Reprehensible on both qualitative and thematic levels, Naughty Bear is a downright disgraceful attempt at a game. [Issue#99, p.116]

When accurately describing videogames, we tend to use the word 'dross' rarely, but this particular X-Men title has forced the word from us in a spectacular fashion. [July 2006, p.130]

Once the contentment of seeing the impressive 'ultimate'look of the Spider-Man characters has faded and the comic book flair has become old news, it's still going to be a very bitter pill to swallow. [Dec 2005, p.118]

Rigidity under the façade of freedom … prevents Rogue Ops from being aything other than a sub-standard stealth clone. Against the competition, which is growing stronger by the month, it's hardly surprising, but we expected better than this. [Feb 2004, p.110]

We're cataclysmically disappointed that Rogue Agent even exists. Just when it seemed like EA had pulled its socks up and become a real unstoppable force with games to match its resources, we get this ' perhaps the most cynical and cobbled-together excuse for a key release we've ever seen. [Christmas 2004, p.111]

Navigation and combat [are] incredibly infuriating. [Issue#110, p.126]

A fumbled attempt at an interesting yet obviously tricky fusion of genres and no amount of laughs - intentional or otherwise - can save it. [Oct 2009, p.131]

It bears no relation to the real thing: fine if it’s fun, but unpleasant and frustrating when it’s not. And it’s really not. [June 2007, p.127]

Occasionally playable, but just mostly horrible. [Issue#108, p.116]

Tedious, clumsy and uncomfortable to play, Box Office Bust is one of the least enjoyable platform games we've been subjected to this generation. [June 2009, p.123]

It's as if the developer simply ceased to care, or ran out of time, or both. Who knows? What we do know is that Terminal Velocity has crafted something truly loathsome and undeserving of its heritage. [Issue#135, p.108]

It's a horrible, cynically produced, soulless and poorly designed racing game that manages to be as equally boring as it is frustrating. [Dec 2005, p.107]

It's just so devoid of soul that it's almost impossible to concentrate on. [Issue#108, p.122]

Although bundled with a Wii Remote, it's still impossible to recommend Wii Play. Many of the mini-games feel clumsy, and the ones that don't are destined to be short-lived at best. [Christmas 2006, p.136]

Kung Fu Rider remains virtually the same from the first moment until the last, and singularly fails to justify its frankly baffling price tag. [Issue#101, p.126]

Dirge is an ugly, cynical and tiresome videogame, the likes of which the next generation will hopefully eradicate. [June 2006, p.130]

It’s such an exercise in drear that only a masochist would get any pleasure out of it, and even they’d have to ignore the hackneyed sub-Uwe Boll narrative. [Apr 2006, p.107]

The gameplay mechanics are uninspired and borderline on being broken entirely. [Issue#150, p.123]

Main Man can only be recommended if you enjoy to run around and shoot things for no real reason, and there are countless other games that do better without the annoyances that accompany this stereotypical title. [Dec 2006, p.127]

Not fixing the irritating failures of past games, however, is inexcusable at this point and indicates a game produced only to sell a few units in the Christmas rush. [Issue#156, p.124]

Futuristic racing never felt so outdated. [Sept 2008, p.117]

Poor graphics and tedious gameplay. [Issue#164, p.93]

A tiring slog of a game that doesn't offer enough reward to justify the energy expenditure required to play it - even if it does keep account of how many calories you burn throughout. [Christmas 2010, p.113]

You'll quickly realise that it's button bashing and not finesse that will aid you in your quest. Add to this a tacked-on rhythm-action game and you're left with a shallow and derivative game that offers no redeeming features. [Nov 2003, p.122]

As an extra disc to a six-film box set its existence is just about justified, but placed against a slew of superior titles it offers nothing more than an evening's mild distraction. [Christmas 2009, p.128]

A poor Tenchu wannabe that simply fails to deliver enjoyment. We played it because we had to - you don't. [May 2005, p.96]

We're cataclysmically disappointed that Rogue Agent even exists. Just when it seemed like EA had pulled its socks up and become a real unstoppable force with games to match its resources, we get this ' perhaps the most cynical and cobbled-together excuse for a key release we've ever seen. [Christmas 2004, p.111]

The Order clearly sees itself as some sort of bridge between the world of games and cinema, but it fails miserably to create the essence, tones or rewards offered by either medium.

Awful controls overshadow everything. [July 2018, p.80]

Despite ticking all the correct boxes Arenas lacks any synergy between components, making it the "Turok Evolution" of racing sequels. [Feb 2004, p.123]

You'll quickly realise that it's button bashing and not finesse that will aid you in your quest. Add to this a tacked-on rhythm-action game and you're left with a shallow and derivative game that offers no redeeming features. [Nov 2003, p.122]

It’s hard to understand why the game exists. Did Gaiman desperately want to attach himself to an ugly, boring puzzle game? Did the Odd Gentleman really think this was the best way to display his work? It’s more of a mystery than the actual story of Wayward Manor itself.

There's nothing in Nail'd that is outright offensive, but the sloppiness of its execution damn-near eradicates any fun that could have been gleaned from it. [Issue#105, p.122]

At least Resi can't get any worse than this. [Issue#177, p.78]

The inanely perfunctory gameplay fumbles in its derivative attempt to emulate the LEGO formula. [Christmas 2011, p.126]

Dull, repetitive and boring. Don't buy this. [Issue#177, p.81]

With combat relying on clever use of items and plenty of RPG-esque searching and equipping, Rengoku does show some potential, but it’s far too little, and with so many better-quality titles already on the market, it’s definitely too late. [Mar 2006, p.116]

When accurately describing videogames, we tend to use the word ‘dross’ rarely, but this particular X-Men title has forced the word from us in a spectacular fashion. [July 2006, p.130]

Levels are exercises in banal repetition. [Sept 2014, p.106]

We can only come to one conclusion here: Odama really isn't any fun to play. At all. [May 2006, p.122]

Developer Killaware has managed to whittle interactivity down to its barest form, reducing the medium's defining characteristic to little more than a progression through text boxes. [June 2009, p.126]

Neither offensive nor agreeable. [Issue#167, p.88]

Promises much, but just doesn't deliver. [Issue#170, p.94]

There's just uninhibited hubris masquerading as knowing, swaggering braggadocio, a technological Frankenstein's monster. [Issue#111, p.98]

The range of puzzles on display is also sorely lacking for a game of this type. [Issue#118, p.114]

There are some laughs to be had at its expense, and everything here works, but that's absolutely all it does. [Issue#122, p.110]

Multi-player over Xbox Live … is the only reason anyone should consider investing in Bomberman Act:Zero. [Oct 2006, p.132]

When accurately describing videogames, we tend to use the word 'dross' rarely, but this particular X-Men title has forced the word from us in a spectacular fashion. [July 2006, p.130]

When accurately describing videogames, we tend to use the word ‘dross’ rarely, but this particular X-Men title has forced the word from us in a spectacular fashion. [July 2006, p.130]

Diluted, disjointed and uninspiring. Feeling more like a staggered set of obstacles than a wholesome game, the action sadly boils down to little more than a tediously dull showcase for your equipment and abilities, which are put into use against some questionable AI stooges. [Jan 2004, p.118]

Even at the bargain-bin price that Rock Revolution is undoubtedly going to hit mere weeks after it is released, the game is an irredeemable waste of time. [Feb 2009, p.114]

True, Beat Down isn't entirely without potential, but the execution is woeful. For your own sake, avoid it at all costs. [Nov 2005, p.104]

Ironically, the developer has actually been very successful in mapping a superbly intuitive control system to the gamepad, and by enabling direct control of your Titan a basic action element is introduced. Yet by totally amputating any strategic scope from the RTS equation, the ensuing battles becoming virtually pointless affairs. [Mar 2004, p.111]

Far too often your hands will be in the right physical space, but the Wii thinks they’re elsewhere – inexcusable in this kind of videogame. [Dec 2008, p.126]

Destiny is so bad that it could force players to question their cherished memories of Eternal Darkness. [Issue#115, p.106]

It bears all the hallmarks of a game rushed to meet a deadline and its refusal to use the touch screen is the biggest faux pas a launch game can commit on the DS. [Jan 2005, p.121]

If you’re truly worried about your vision we recommend spending the £20 on an eye test instead, as Sight Training will offer you nothing but prolonged boredom and headaches. [Jan 2008, p.127]

So unoriginal, it'll be tough to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes. [Issue#148, p.108]

The touch screen is now just another method of input and, as such, a compendium of weak mini-games will no longer cut it as entertainment. [Mar 2006, p.122]