McQueen truly is “The Cooler King” in more ways than one, which only makes his half-assed showing in this half-assed game a full-fledged bummer. Skip this disaster and rent "The Towering Inferno" instead.

Your time would be better spent by buying that bag of pre-mix concrete and building something useful - and it would probably be more fun.

If you’re going to go after a licensed act, why, uh, VANESSA CARLTON? Is she big at LAN parties that I’m not invited to or something? It’s mind-boggling.

Despite its overpowering shortcomings, the game is still a Naruto game through and through. Strictly for the Naruto-minded.

Inarguably, it's a sucky game. Once you've taken Marvel Nemesis through its paces, you'll pierce its glinty armor with your newfound eye beams of license abuse and try to toss it into the local penitentiary for the rest of its unnatural born life.

The artificial intelligence is brilliant...for a goldfish. For an AI program, however, it's pathetic.

Simply a sub-par first-person shooter.

Completely skippable.

But really, there’s no point to my taking Wii Music seriously as a game since Nintendo obviously doesn’t. If the game sells well, it probably has more to due with Nintendo’s tremendously effective marketing skills rather than anything inherent to Wii Music as a game. Even five-year-olds need some stimulation and sense of achievement. Wii Music provides neither.

You'd have to be the hardest of the hardcore to play Resonance of Fate through to the end (or an intern at Game Revolution). It is violently unruly and complex in its battle systems and structure. I'm sure there are plenty of masochists out there in the RPG community, but Resonance of Fate exudes punishment in spades.

If anyone should avoid this game, it should be the hardcore ECW fan as they will be the most outraged.

All the games are too short, or just plain not fun, leaving players with no compelling reason to picnic in this park.

The only thing that can possibly be complimented with Alive would be a few vague ideas with the potential for fun; but grading on those alone is hardly enough. Whatever the game could have been is smothered in the dirt.

The only thing that can possibly be complimented with Alive would be a few vague ideas with the potential for fun; but grading on those alone is hardly enough. Whatever the game could have been is smothered in the dirt.

Unlike most other mini-game collections, multiplayer seems like an afterthought instead of a primary focus.

Game play is a plodding, methodical chore, whose only rewards are unlocking another mediocre game or dressing your character more outlandishly. You never really get that feeling of accomplishment or frantic happiness that marks some of the better mini-game offerings for the Wii.

Just playing RYL for a week made me want to die. If the game had emotes, my character would have been weeping constantly.

It's ridiculous, reminiscent of the obligatory chase sequences in the "Benny Hill Show." And about as horrifying...Shorter than an Oompa Loompa.

A forgettable racer with all the depth of a shallow puddle, better suited for a rental than a purchase. It's more a footnote to the Need for Speed series than a chapter in itself.

If you have children, they'll be delighted, but if you're over the age of twelve, the party will decidedly end the moment you put this game in the disc drive.

The robot design and collection aspects are pretty good, but it isn't worth much when you're just pounding buttons like an idiot. Mindless gameplay coupled with camera problems and not much else leads to a game you definitely don't need to get.

As the basis for a full-on action game, Castlevania: Judgment might have worked, but the dull arenas, limited enemy monsters, and horrible storytelling means that we're only left with a poor fighting game instead.

It is never made clear what the title “Ninety-Nine Nights” means. My guess is that it’s the suggested waiting period before purchasing this dangerous, infuriating, broken game.

Controls, rather, your body is wonky.

Even after playing the last game, Ar Tonelico Qoga is simply disappointing. If only Gust had decided to fix what was wrong with earlier incarnations - the non-intense battles, the remarkably "blah" characters, the below-average everything - they might have had something here.

Despite copious blood splatters and a smattering of "adult" language, the gameplay is strictly for kids. However, after about a half an hour even little ones will pooh-pooh this game in favor of just about anything else.

DW:G2 feels like it was made for fans, but Koei didn’t know which fans to placate: theirs or Gundam fans. It tries to satisfy both but ends up disappointing both.

Ultimately, Danger Girl's only selling points, T and A (Tits and Action), can only reliably be found on the cover of the instruction booklet, which can easily be viewed without paying fifty bucks. I advise getting your porn elsewhere.