A chunky mix of features from other titles in a fully 3D bladder that has some merit, but will probably leave most gamers why on earth they should take a bite. [May 2003, p.91]

Ultimately, Starsky & Hutch simply comes off as a poor man's Vice City. A very poor man living off sub-grade, government cheese.

From the moment you enter CDV Software's postacoptalyptic online world, you'll be confused, bored...and lonely. Which is shame, because as far as concepts go, Neocron has promise. [Apr 2003, p.118]

If the VC don't kill you, the pesky game-crashing bugs will. [Feb 2006, p.81]

Yet another attempt at "Europa Universalis Lite" - one that tries to reduce the depth of EU into a mind-numbing series of repetitive tasks. [June 2004, p.86]

The only time the game comes close to evoking WWII is in the cleverly done faux-newsreel footage that is a backdrop to the game credits. [Mar 2003, p.104]

Atmospheric graphics are about all The Final Cut has going for it. [July 2002, p.81]

Slow. Frustrating. Not the best idea for an escape. [July 2002, p.81]

I've birthed children in less time than it takes the game CDs to fire up. [Aug 2004, p.83]

Poorly designed controls make this pallid Indiana Jones clone unplayable. [July 2003, p.83]

Alpha Black Zero may not be the worst game ever made, but it may be the most tedious. [Dec 2004, p.93]

Lame story, lame racing, lame A.I. - lame game. [July 2003, p.86]

You never quite get past the feeling that there are a half-dozen better shooters you could be playing...There's just no reason to play a shooter with this many problems. [Oct 2004, p.80]

I prefer to spend my time playing games on my computer, not getting them to run. If that also describes you, stay away from Conflict Zone. [Mar 2002, p.92]

Unbalanced, tedious, buggy, and lacking in imagination - and those are its good points. [Nov 2003, p.134]

And thus gaming's highest-profile franchise is run into the ground and kicked repeatedly in the head. [Oct 2003, p.118]

An example of mediocrity dragged much further downward by sheer ineptitude. It could have been another so-so tactical stealth shooter, but the saves, the idiots, the cliches, and the crashes shove it into coaster territory. [July 2003, p.72]

Twenty to 30 hours of gameplay, and not a single one of them worth a damn. [July 2003, p.84]

From start to finish, it is a poorly conceived, ill-executed, and time-wasting piece of coasterware designed to suck money away from both fans of the much-lauded series and unsuspecting newcomers. [Nov 2003, p.138]

Long stretches of boredom punctuated by brief moments of implausibility. [Feb 2005, p.84]

No, you never, ever get a weapon. All you do is creep around avoiding conflict. This is supposed to be suspenseful. It's not. It's tedious. [Jan 2003, p.102]

A lot like "Freelancer," only boring and with a monthly fee. [May 2005, p.94]

Exhausting, repetitious gameplay. [Feb 2002, p.100]

You'll frequently dodge the oafish enemies instead of fighting. [Mar 2004, p.84]

What am I afraid of? Bad games, and Nosferatu seriously scares me. [Feb 2004, p.90]

Confusion and frustration are your only companions in Revolution. [June 2003, p.87]

The game plays a lot like "Sims 2" - just without the charm, animation, possibilities, freedom and, and ability to generate a desire to keep it installed. [Apr 2005, p.84]

It looks and plays like it was made by two guys in a basement - which, in fact, it was. [Oct 2005, p.78]

The VC are dirty cheaters in this lush but restrictive and nonsensical portrayal of sniper life in the Vietnam War. [July 2003, p.78]

Imagine the frustration of being Batman and still getting your ass kicked by a bunch of thuggy mimes. [Jan 2003, p.121]

The maps look boring, the units have few and bland animations, the sounds are awful, and someone seems to have forgotten combat effects. [July 2002, p.69]

Makes me never want to see the movie again for fear it will remind me of the game. [August 2002, p.76]

Considering their utter lack of intelligence, it'd be more accurate to name these guys "Inbreed." [July 2004, p.70]

If it’s trivia you’re after, read questions from Trivial Pursuit cards. Or pick up an Encyclopedia Britannica. Don’t, however, buy this game. [Feb 2002, p.99]

The degeneration continues. [Aug 2003, p.90]

No matter how interesting the real-life situation is, the game manages to make it more boring than missions in most budget shooters. [Sept 2004, p.76]

Next time, use the million-dollar PVP cash prize to improve gameplay. [Oct 2005, p.78]

I used to really love adventure games, but after playing this one, I can't remember why. [Aug 2004, p.79]

It's a lot more of the same - the same grinding disenchantment. [Feb 2003, p.80]

This game is so annoying and poorly designed that it left me vindictively cheering the show's demise. [Dec 2002, p.136]

This game just feels like an insult. Or maybe a practical joke. [Nov 2004, p.80]

The only thing Legacy leaves you with is a feeling of relief when it's over. [Apr 2005, p.88]

BCT fails so dismally at playability that the realism doesn't matter. [August 2002, p.81]

What stinks more than anything is SOE's treatment of the game's devoted fans, who find themselves spurned by the developer's hope that a dumbed-down gaming experience will appeal to a wider audience. [Feb 2006, p.76]

The best game ever for gamers without the energy to move their thumbs from the A button to the B button on their gamepads. [May 2004, p.89]

Though it's not an entirely offensive game, in its attempt to be individualistic, Locomotion has learning nothing from other games in the genre and ends up feeling like a 10-year-old game with a 5-year-old coat of paint. [Holiday 2004, p.103]

A total rush job, from start to all-too-sudden finish. [Feb 2006, p.73]

All tension drains away as the game turns into the equivalent of a deathmatch against sheep. [July 2003, p.74]

X3 sometimes morphs into a derivative on-rails shooter during scripted story missions. [Feb 2006, p.74]

For some insane reason, the developers decided that you have to insert both discs in sequence every time the game boots... It's just completely preposterous. [Feb 2003, p.96]

The whole thing feels more like feature creep in a box than an expansion pack. [Mar 2006, p.84]

A bad third-person shooter is still bad even with '60s music and Vietnamese prostitutes. [Dec 2004, p.96]

If this game is any indication, the SOG soldiers were blind and deaf, and had the tactical sense of lemmings. [Aug 2005, p.76]

It may have spectacular AI, but it's still just an elaborate virtual pet forced to perform a tedious sequence of often frustrating tasks. [May 2002, p.89]

For every potentially cool element in Prince of Qin, there's a worse one waiting to kneecap it. [Jan 2003, p.124]

The gameplay, already uninspired and annoying on the consoles, is an uncontrollable mess on PC and not even worth it for fanboys. [Sept 2003, p.100]

A $20 game that plays like a $10 game. [Aug 2005, p.77]

SCI took just six months to publish a PC conversion of the generally ignored PS1 game based on the largely forgotten film. [Feb 2003, p.98]

Like David Hasselhoff's singing career, Settlers is popular in Germany and just sort of barely tolerated elsewhere. [June 2005, p.96]

The combination of wretched design, brainless financial models, and buggy gameplay leaves you with the realization that you got suckered into buying a lemon. [May 2002, p.87]

After the novelty wears off, it becomes an exercise in tedium broken only by crashes to the desktop. [Jan 2004, p.122]

Anyone who's made it through puberty will likely be embarrassed by the game's lame toilet humor. [Jan 2003, p.127]

Oh yeah, Terminator 3: War of the Machines also has vehicles! Too bad they suck. [Apr 2004, p.84]

About the only thing the inept MMIX does well is confirming its irrelevance. The game is damned boring. [August 2002, p.70]

With a total of four hours of gameplay (eight if you count the times technical failings made me repeat the first half), you don't get much for your money. [Oct 2002, p.110]

The worst implementation of multiplayer gaming in recent memory... An utter debacle. [Feb 2003, p.91]

Nice graphics and a good physics model can't hide the inflexible playability of a game that could have been a real treat to play. [Mar 2003, p.107]

This putatively naughty game should come with fetish clothing options, dungeon equipment, and the option to call up a friend or five to join our hero and heroine in their erotic adventures, but it doesn't. It's sterilie, soulless, and ultimately a tease that doesn't come close to delivering. What a gyp. [Sept 2004, p.73]

Even a screensaver of Richard’s flabby ass crack is preferable to this. [Mar 2002, p.88]

Simply the most incompetently crafted shooter in living memory. [Mar 2003, p.98]

This game is so not fun, it almost put me into a coma. [May 2002, p.86]

Besides a game-killing lack of a chat function, Diplomacy's negotiation interface makes it impossible to propose long-term deals, except for the all-encompassing "permanent alliance."

If the mind-numbing battles and drab scenery haven’t already turned you off, don’t worry—there’s still the annoying interface to send you over the edge. [Jan 2002, p.113]

A disjointed assortment of poorly produced five-second clips and no nudity. [August 2002, p.77]

The only good thing about The Partners was that myriad technical flaws prevented me from having to suffer through completing the game...I have never been so happy for programming incompetence in my life. [Sept 2002, p.93]

The dearth of vital economic information, lack of a true economy, and repetitiveness make this a tedious exercise at best. [Oct 2003, p.119]

A by-the-numbers blast-a-thon. [Feb 2006, p.71]

As a game, Planet of the Apes fails utterly. As a skeet target, it succeeds in spades. Someone shout, "Pull!" [May 2002, p.84]

A lobotomized first-person shooter. Invisible walls and glass ceilings abound throughout the briny deep, ensnaring players in a boring series of follow-the-leader and circle-strafing style stages. [Dec 2003, p.144]

This game is lazy and derivative - and it's your fault. [Holiday 2004, p.104]

A clumsy, series-ending combo of real-time and strategy...You must kind of hang out and gawk at numbers and icons. [July 2004, p.72]

A triple-Advil-migraine-inducing trip to the very bowels of hell. [August 2002, p.77]

Save your money by just throwing beer cans at the television. [Feb 2004, p.77]

The gamplay in this game about serial murders is even more horrific than its story line. [Feb 2004, p.87]

Witless, repetitive, and utterly devoid of interesting strategy elements. [Dec 2003, p.142]

I've kept every game that I've ever reviewed for CGW. Space Horse is going into the trash. [Dec 2002, p.135]

Although the vocally overdubbed actors try to give decent performances, Conspiracies' overall quality is so much like a B movie that you'll be surprised no killer tomatoes ever attack - and you just might be praying that they do. [May 2004, p.83]

No check or save points, no sense of where people are when they radio for help, splash damage that kills from up to 50 meters away, no multiplayer whatsoever--need to hear more? Stay away. Stay very far away. [Mar 2006, p.86]

WCT barely qualifies as a game, let alone "good." [Aug 2005, p.84]

It’s shorter than most game demos. It’s shorter than most game installations. [Jan 2002, p.119]

Poor graphics, unbalanced weapons, and tired level design can't begin to help this game. [Sept 2002, p.90]

All breasts, no game...a game that isn't just bad, it's literally unplayable. [Apr 2002, p.103]

A prime candidate for Coaster of the Year. You'll have more fun lobbing old potatoes at the squirrels in your yard than playing this mess. [July 2003, p.88]

SuperPower's most entertaining feature is this utter detachment from reality - despite its being touted as hyperrealistic. [July 2002, p.82]

Simultaneously boring and frustrating, with a design that buries the needle on the irritation-o-meter. [Oct 2002, p.115]

25 to life sets the gaming bar about as low as it can go. Then trips over it. [Mar 2006, p.82]

An epic disaster of a game derived from a movie that simply shouldn't exist in the first place. [Nov 2004, p.81]

Add in a console-style save system that only lets you save progress at the start of a level, and you've got a guaranteed recipe for infuriation. [Jan 2005, p.96]