Despite the lack of satire and occasional lack of sense, the game is mostly playable. However, the interface and the odd bugs make it a chore. [July 2006, p.65]

What a mess. Even when it's not baffling, Big Biz Tycoon gets completely bogged down in thoroughly not-fun minutia. [Sept 2002, p.83]

Just buy it on DVD and leave it at that. [Apr 2007, p.71]

In the end, Shadowflare simply becomes a chore, lacking any depth or flair that might justify the heat energy spent in the mouse clicking. [Mar 2003, p.88]

A lame expansion... Towers, cars, and six worlds. These are the sort of additions that belong in a patch. [May 2003, p.79]

A seriously lame expansion. [Sept 2003, p.87]

The incomplete A.I. and numerous bugs indicate that somebody was more concerned with getting the game on shelves before Christmas than providing a finished product. [Apr 2004, p.68]

Combined with the recent God of War, a pattern seems to be developing: the gifts Ares bestows come at the cost of a clad torso. [Dec p.88]

One of those half-baked ports of a console game that someone figured might squeeze a few bucks out of PC owners. [Feb 2004, p.77]

Primal Hunt is a collection of annoying "Quickload" moments resulting in a thoroughly annoying game. [Nov 2002, p.84]

One final warning to keep you from you buying this game: The sound effect you hear when you gulp a potion is a squeak akin to fingernails scraping a chalkboard or the running of unoiled machinery. [Jan. 2007 p.62]

There's a way to remake "Pac-Man" for the 21st century, but it probably involves realistic weapons, stealth, full frontal nudity, and/or Nazi zombies. [Oct 2002, p.81]

Overall, you'd be better off just going to see the movie again. [March 2005, p.85]

Ironically, the real sorrow of Seven Sorrows is how laughably, arrogantly short it is: two players can easily finish the entire campaign on the hardest setting in a night. [Mar 2006, p.91]

Do yourself a favor and forget this Keepsake. [Sept. 2006, p.76]

The lack of polish is most obvious in the awful pacing and terrible controls. [Feb 2006, p.62]

You can finish the entire single-player game in a single evening, with time left over to take a dinner break, watch an hour or two of television, and then turn in early. Some demos are longer. [Feb 2003, p.75]

A port of a three-year old Swedish game called "Svea Rike III," a lighter precursor to the original "Europa Univsersalis" with weaker AI, sparse strategic options, and an unfriendly hotkey-heavy interface. [Dec 2003, p.95]

Offers a quick toot of dopey euphoria, followed by twitching hours of comedown and regret. [July 2005, p.90]

Never has contract killing, extortion, and prostitution seemed so pointless. [June 2004, p.78]

There is a nice mix of unit types including heroes and the game even gives you spells to cast, but the AI is so poor and the presentation so lazy you'd be much better off buying the boardgame from an import store.

Simply isn't interesting enough to merit sticking it out that long.

The much-touted "realism" vanishes entirely once you get to the military phase of the game. [March 2005, p.87]

It's crude, lewd, incompetently produced, and generally behaves like an ill-mannered 12-year-old. [Oct 2005, p.69]

Pure blah from the opening missions in snowy Stalingrad to the last hurrah on the beaches of Normandy. [Jan 2004, p.67]

New year, same old arcade b-ball. [Jan 2006, p.61]

Divided Nation is a step backward. It's a journey to the past in more ways than one, and not an interesting trip at all. [Oct. 2006, p.73]

To get an accurate sense of what playing Star Wars: Battle for Naboo is like, find a heavy object and bash yourself over the head with it.

It may be time for EA Sports to do what it did with its old "Triple Play" series: Scrap the whole thing and start over. [Jan. 2007. p.67]

At least you can thank Bet on Soldier for making it easier to go back to boycotting Starforce. [Dec p.62]

Archlord is nothing but a grind, one with very few players. [Mar 2007, p.63]

It's a cynical and soulless exercise that deliberately eschews any aspect of modern game design that might make it accessible - like complexity, stylish art direction, and mechanical variety. [Feb 2004, p.78]

Too bad Star Fury fails so spectacularly at creating the sense of moving a ship through space. [Feb 2004, p.80]

A Johnny-come-lately budgetware version of "Majesty." [Dec 2004, p.88]

What makes the name so highly appropriate...is the constant assault that the game wages on your patience and sanity. [Sept 2004, p.68]

Aside from the TV tie-in, there is nothing in Alias to recommend it over other games of its type. [Sept 2004, p.69]

Combined with the recent God of War, a pattern seems to be developing: the gifts Ares bestows come at the cost of a clad torso. [Dec p.88]

Stick some embalming fluid in this one—it's done.

Given the charm, elegance, and imigination of designer Benoit Sokal's best-known work, "Syberia", it is a crushing disappointment that these qualities are almost entirely absent from Paradise. [Sept. 2006, p.58]

At its core, Archangel is all self-absorbed scenario development, and endless circle-strafe packed to its pimpy neck witih occult imagery and amateurish design. [Mar 2003, p.84]

Finding [four] people who would sit still for a single session of Alien Blast would serve as a remarkable testament to the power of sedatives. [June 2004, p.80]

Offers a quick toot of dopey euphoria, followed by twitching hours of comedown and regret. [July 2005, p.90]

Don't be fooled: Your score is not an accurate measurement of intelligence. But whether you buy this game is. [July 2006, p.91]

Dear Tricky, we miss you. [Jan 2006, p.91]

They don't feel much different from regular guns and planes. [Dec 2003, p.86]

The biggest problem is that it's a cop-out. Serpieri's brand of blatant sensuality is absent, his wildly explicit sex scenes having been replaced by momentary clips showing the lead character topless.

Unfortunately, at $30, the shot is foul. Guys, it's called a roster patch. Look it up.

But stripped of its hype, what's most shocking about the game is its mediocrity.

Unless you're just here to admire teh decent-ish graphics, suck it up and play "Combat Mission" already. [Aug 2004, p.60]

An inferior game in nearly every respect, including interface, artwork, setting, game mechanics, and card rarity.

You've basically got a barely interactive "Splinter Cell for Dummies." [Sept 2005, p.91]

The most maddeningly convoluted gaming experience this side of Derek Smart. [Feb 2006, p.67]

If an adult can finish all of this in a little over one hour, how long will it take your kids? Britney's Dance Beat is just another empty cash-in featuring a disposable pop star. Oops, they did it again. [Oct 2002, p.77]

A pretty bad role-playing game published here in the states by folks who should know better. [Feb 2006, p.92]

A meager grab 'n go meal. [June 2005, p.88]

As a third-person action game, 25 to life is kind of a "Max Payne in the Hood," only without the quality gameplay. [Apr 2006, p.62]

Combined with the recent God of War, a pattern seems to be developing: the gifts Ares bestows come at the cost of a clad torso. [Dec p.88]

A great concept gone horribly wrong... It's too short, too dull, and too poorly executed. [Oct 2002, p.75]

The biggest problems are the shockingly short play time, and repetitive gameplay. [Jan 2005, p.73]

An incredibly boring corridor shooter. [July 2005, p.49]

In Reservoir Dogs, the game, you might as well be seeing " The Max Fisher Players Present Reservoir Dogs," but minus the charm, and with a bad shooter/driving game as the price of admission. [Jan. 2007, p.69]

The 3D engine is incredibly sluggish, delivering mediocre graphics that manage to tax even fast computers and high-end videocards. [Jan 2005, p.69]

Dear Tricky, we miss you. [Jan 2006, p.91]

Rip-off. [Oct 2005, p.92]

You've basically got a barely interactive "Splinter Cell for Dummies." [Sept 2005, p.91]

You've basically got a barely interactive "Splinter Cell for Dummies." [Sept 2005, p.91]

In its present state, however, playing it is about as enjoyable as walking the plank in shark-infested waters. [Nov. 2006, p.72]

Should have stayed where it belonged-on the consoles. This is not a PC game. There is no mouse support whatsoever

Such an absolute mess that even die-hard fans should avoid the temptation. [Aug 2003, p.89]

While the story-based gameplay is a did, the free-roaming modes and mini-games are pretty entertaining. [June 2005, p.60]

This design alley is a dead end. [Jan 2004, p.80]

Only for blindly hardcore fans of Anne McCaffrey...Everyone else will find the entire experience tired and uninspiring.

Games like this are the reason micromanagement is a four-letter word. [July 2005, p.57]

The game's dialogue system almost resembles a tree, except you basically just click on any of the questions until they're all gone. Interrogation at its, um, finest. [June 2005, p.58]

You are apt to play the same segments over and over, ad nauseam. Perhaps a more appropriate title might have been Groundhog Day II.

The whole thing plays out like some budgetware "Turn-Based Combat RPG for Dummies". [Oct. 2006, p.80]

The canned plot does all the driving and you're just along for the dull weird ride. [Feb 2003, p.71]

If golf was indeed dull, as many non-fans wrongly suspect, True Swing Golf would be the perfect golf game. [Apr 2006, p.90]

The game isn't at all involving, with its poor sound and graphics and nonsensical story. There just isn't anything to drive the player along. [Oct 2003, p.95]

The designers may have thought they were making some sort of social statement, but the intended point is lost in all the sound and fury of oozing eyeballs and babies being hacked apart. It'll play well with the teens, because they'll think it's edgy and funny (missing the parody and irony, assuming they're actually there), but adults will no doubt find it stupid.

It has a nice wrapper and the budget price is right, but as soon as you hit the second or third mission, you'll be ready to break the disc in half and return the pieces to the store for credit.

There's little for you to do other than play with staffing percentages and earn some cash to purchase new styles of coffee. [Mar 2007, p.67]

A good idea gone wrong... A fantastic notion tht deserves much, much better execution than is displayed here. [Mar 2003, p.90]

It's a short, vacuous game that's over quickly and even more quickly forgotten. [Feb 2006, p.93]

The problem is that the gameplay itself is just downright awful. The missions are poorly thought out, excessively long, and inadequately defined. [May 2004, p.12]

The problem is that the gameplay itself is just downright awful. The missions are poorly thought out, excessively long, and inadequately defined. [May 2004, p.12]

This is the most disappointment I've ever felt playing a game. [July 2004, p.7]

If you can suffer through to its conclusion, you’re truly a brave person. [Dec. 2006, p.80]

Controls are so poor that Sam might as well be fighting the forces of evil blindfolded. [July 2006, p.92]

Considering that the AI seems modeled after a hybrid of suicidal human wave tactics and bumper cars, it's hard to make any sense out of whatever paper/rock/scissors system Zuxxez was trying to create in the name of historical authenticity. [Mar 2003, p.81]

One of the worst games you'll ever play. [Sept 2004, p.72]

Street Supremacy's visuals are as drab as the gameplay, and they are further marred by technical glitches. [Jun 2006, p.93]

Whatever you call it, it's guilty of one thing: not being funny. In fact, it's offensively unfunny. [Dec. 2006, p.70]

Amped 3 aims to keep you distracted by constantly nickel-and-diming you with a hundred mini-challenges, each with its own pointless reward, spread across a dozen mountainsides. [Feb 2006, p.87]

Crime Stories is merely tragic, a paranormal murder mystery whose downfall is its over-enthusiam. [Oct. 2006, p.72]

In lieu of interesting situations, tactics, thrills, or simple variety, Starship Troopers coughs up a big greasy hairball of run-right-at-you enemies that never stop coming. [Mar 2006, p.55]

Quotation forthcoming. [Jan 2005]

Not even the most jaded gamers are this desperate. [Jan. 2007, p.71]