Read Negative User Reviews for Aloha

3

NightReviewsJun 1, 2015

Aloha is a film that doesn’t quite know if it’s coming or going. This is fitting as the title itself is the literal translation in Hawaiian for greeting or parting with someone, in this instance, someone you never care to meet ever again.Aloha is a film that doesn’t quite know if it’s coming or going. This is fitting as the title itself is the literal translation in Hawaiian for greeting or parting with someone, in this instance, someone you never care to meet ever again.

The newest film from Cameron Crowe, a filmmaker that has been riding the wave of the mid-ninties and early two-thousands with films like Jerry Maguire and Almost Famous with occasional emotional glimpses of talent (mostly in Vanilla Sky and We Bought A Zoo), never really clicks. Lacking any sort of obvious purpose or overall foundation and filled with characters who know less than what we know about them, the film confuses beyond belief right from its first frames. Characters, along with the film itself, are covered and soaked in convoluted, not artistic, ambiguity.

The opening, characterized by an uninspiring and unnecessary voice-over with protagonist Brian Gilcrest (Bradley Cooper) telling a backstory that could be just about any human on the planet and a mission of blessing a pedestrian gate, automatically sends the film to the direction of complete absurdity. Thankfully, the one thing Mr. Crowe does well is making this film, along with each of its characters, magnetized to its lead – Brian Gilcrest – a role Cooper will surely NOT get his fourth Oscar nomination in a row for.

These characters include Bradley Cooper’s Brian Gilcrest, a contractor who was a military man and began working for corporate billionaires; Bill Murray’s Carson Welch, one of Gilcrest’s previous employers and a huge billionaire in search of owning the sky with satellites; Rachel McAdams’ Tracy Woodside, an ex to Gilcrest and a civilian in charge of dealing with recently departed soldiers; John Krasinski’s Woody Woodside (I swear that’s his name), a husband to Tracy and a pilot who doesn’t speak to his wife for reasons unknown, and of course, Emma Stone’s Allison Ng, an F-22 fighter-pilot who is tasked with being Gilcrest’s watchdog/chaperone again for reasons unknown.

Sadly, Crowe, who directed, wrote, and produced Aloha, is very close to kissing a credible career as a filmmaker goodbye. Introducing the audience to too many characters at once, using a mix bag of filming technique such as long takes that never really connect with audiences, and adding a ridiculous amount of not-so-subtle analogies and Hawaiian mythology, Crowe will be ranting, raving, and begging audience members to come see his newest film and show him the money, especially with such a large $37 million dollar budget.

One of the biggest mysteries of the film, aside from its obsession to the Hawaiian supernatural, is how it was able to conjure up such an impressive ensemble cast. I mean, did anyone even read the script or were they just enamoured to work with Crowe despite his ability to score with audiences quite a long time ago?

Crowe, who began his artistic career as the youngest ever contributor to Rolling Stone magazine, always manages to connect with audience, if not visually, then sonically, through a trained ear accompanied by fantastic soundtracks and scores. After all, his most beloved pet project Almost Famous features one of the most commercially successful soundtracks in cinematic history. This time around, Aloha features an onslaught of Hawaiian sounds, composed by his recent frequent collaborator Jonsi, who not only add no dimension to the film’s aura, but seem just as boring as elevator music you’d expect in the tropical locale.

Many people won’t even bother seeing Aloha this weekend on the big screen, as I also don’t expect the film to get much bigger of a following on VOD or on-demand. Many of the few souls that do watch the film may find that Emma Stone’s character Allison holds most of the film’s heart and soul. I strongly disagree as Stone provides the film with the majority of its forceful island wisdom and supernatural irrelevance. Though, I do strongly believe that the actress, especially after her exceptionally convincing performance in Birman has a bright and promising future as a defining movie star. Sadly, it just really isn’t seen here.

Cooper may very well be the best part of Aloha as well as the tall, dark, and silent Krasinski, who doesn’t do much but strut his stuff and act all mysteriously enigmatic. Cooper seems to be having the most fun with his tormented, soul-selling character, even if we don’t know why he is selling it, or to who. If there is one thing that Aloha does well, it is that it makes everything and anything about the life of Brian Gilcrest. Sadly, the love triangle between Gilcrest, Woodside, and Ng isn’t anything more than a bumbling disaster of regrets, would haves, should haves, and surprising narrative twists. Relationships, attractions, and love stories created completely from thin air without any merit or reason is also one of the main reasons why Aloha never gets a warm welcome.… Expand

2 of 3 users found this helpful21

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2

RwattMay 29, 2015

Disappointing on so many levels. I am a huge fan of Crowe's, which makes it worse. Not 1 scene worked. Cooper gives 1 of his worst performances, not for lack of trying. It is simply an uncomfortable movie worsened by an awkward centralDisappointing on so many levels. I am a huge fan of Crowe's, which makes it worse. Not 1 scene worked. Cooper gives 1 of his worst performances, not for lack of trying. It is simply an uncomfortable movie worsened by an awkward central performance, worsened further by the fact this guy was somehow just nominated for 3 oscars (?!) which fails to be evident in the movie in any capacity. Stone was a near saving grace, mostly bc whimsy seems to come very naturally to her. I anticipate many parts of this film as being Razzie bound, even just due to the hours of awkwardness I will never get back, by especially because it is done by the genius behind Almost Famous & leading talent that rately sink so low.… Expand

4 of 7 users found this helpful43

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0

ThegodfathersonMay 29, 2015

Another crapheap in the merry month of May?! First that stupid disaster movie and now this. Cameron Crow has aged and lost all his charm with Aloha. This was a movie that I was hyped for, Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Danny McBride and CameronAnother crapheap in the merry month of May?! First that stupid disaster movie and now this. Cameron Crow has aged and lost all his charm with Aloha. This was a movie that I was hyped for, Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Danny McBride and Cameron Crowe directing. This film is nothing short of garbage. Cooper plys a military officer who has come bck from war to take break in Hawaii. Well, couldnt Crowe have created story with charm, rather than create this boring, unmindful and badly made film. Boring sums up Aloha. The film never picks up, has absolutely no reqson that you should watch it. DONT WATCH IT FOR BRADLEY COOPER EITHER. He is soo damn lifeless. Well May brought me two 0/10s in a row!… Expand

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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2

OktpacaMay 31, 2015

Disappointing. The plot is unintelligible and the repartee amongst a great cast lacks any impact or charm because it's not rooted in any meaningful story or character development. Emma Stone is delightful but there us nothing for her to workDisappointing. The plot is unintelligible and the repartee amongst a great cast lacks any impact or charm because it's not rooted in any meaningful story or character development. Emma Stone is delightful but there us nothing for her to work with, leaving her performance comic bookish. Save your money.… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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3

Trev29Sep 6, 2015

The talented cast and the great setting of Hawaii are wasted on a story that is neither dramatic nor funny. Above all, it just isn't interesting. The script was a mess.

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

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3

FilmVirtueJun 25, 2015

So misguided, So unintelligent, So disappointing, Aloha is another film by Cameron Crowe (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous) that repeats the same mistakes he has made in his recent releases. Passionate of course, but misguided all together.

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0

ParithJun 9, 2015

A thin gruel for people that don't want to feel or think. The movie's goal is to be a distraction from life but not to engross, to escape other thoughts and feelings but not to introduce any new ones, something to kill time with as you watchA thin gruel for people that don't want to feel or think. The movie's goal is to be a distraction from life but not to engross, to escape other thoughts and feelings but not to introduce any new ones, something to kill time with as you watch the plastic characters go through the motions of the soulless soap opera like plot.… Expand

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0

kman5473Mar 16, 2017

White washing. Terrible dialogue. Extremely convoluted plot. The worst use of Bill Murray in a film EVER. Need I say more? Just...don't ever watch this flick. If any of your friends with terrible taste in everything tries to convince youWhite washing. Terrible dialogue. Extremely convoluted plot. The worst use of Bill Murray in a film EVER. Need I say more? Just...don't ever watch this flick. If any of your friends with terrible taste in everything tries to convince you otherwise, you should reconsider your friendship. I mean that.… Expand