Susan Wloszczyna

The conclusion is a sweet bit of frosting on an otherwise unremarkable confection.

Not even Hunter, who eventually wears out her welcome, can keep Strange Weather from going off the cliff.

Nichols usually can lure A-list casts to even C-grade projects, and this is no exception.

There is one thing about Barefoot that makes it at least a guilty pleasure. Once you ignore how improbable Daisy is — there is something oddly captivating about Wood's performance.

In the annals of sexually-charged event cinema, Fifty Shades of Grey barely lights a candle let alone combusts with unbridled forbidden passion.

Those who adore horror movies so much that they crave Count Chocula cereal may be amused. The rest can skip this walk on the Darkside. [07 May 1990, p.4D]

Don’t be distracted by the eye-pleasing purple and lavender hues that have been added to the typically chilly color palette. This plot is as disjointed as it sounds.

This not-quite-horror movie is so indulgently languorous — some might describe it as poetic and mournful while those who are less kind would dismiss it as plodding and downright depressing — it is likely to test the patience of many viewers.

Higher Learning: John Singleton's ambitious potpourri of on-campus tensions - date rape, black power, white supremacy - all too quickly lapses into pandering preachiness. [17 Feb 1995, p.4D]

Irons is the gawky one. His Hardy is a socially inept bachelor who is ill-suited to the role of nurturing mentor and father figure.

The more real Friday gets, the better it is. [26 Apr 1995]

Wood, whose whippet-thin appearance in this dank noir-ish drama semi-draped in mystery could be described as Kristen Stewart lite, fully dedicates herself to embodying a rather unpleasant and contradictory character as she attracts her prey and then goes about abusing them physically and emotionally.

The issue of so-called “illegals” could not be more timely and, if Spare Parts does anything, it attempts to humanize the situation of those children who cope with this limbo-land existence without having had much choice in the matter.

Pure wish-fulfillment for Shaq-watchers who can't get enough of their 7-foot-1 basketball hero. [17 July 1996, p. 9D]

Unfortunately, someone said "party on" to Wayne's World 2 and forgot to invite any new ideas to rival those that made WWI such a pinhead's delight. [10 Dec 1993, p.9D]

Instead of building upon the welcome openness of that potentially healing father-son encounter, Max stumbles through some iffy crime-thriller territory and ends up pushing its PG rating to its limit.

At the very least, the makers of That Awkward Moment should get credit for savvy casting.

Reeks of the kind of atmosphere that makes you reach for the Lysol.

Young girls will enjoy Lohan's matchmaking antics. But nostalgia-craving oldsters should stick to fond memories of Hayley [Mills]'s heyday.

At least Necessary Roughness strays from the usual game plan, but it ends up strictly Bush league. [27 Sept 1991, p.2D]

That Mrs. Doubtfire, a Tootsie Poppins for our times, misfires in the plausibility department and mis-aims its well-meaning if muddled messages about divorce doesn't matter. [24 Nov 1993 Pg. 01.D]

The Penn-manship here is far from unimpressive. But if Sean gets a second chance, he should make his audience care as much as he does. [23 Sep 1991, p.4D]

In the wine-drenched romance A Walk in the Clouds, Keanu Reeves is like a flat root beer. Decent, honest, but no fizz. [11 Aug 1995, p.4D]

A cheap and easy amusement, one that's gone a little stale and never quite rises to the occasion.

Director Robert Zemeckis, who handled visual foolery with finesse in the Back to the Future series and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, is no Ponce de Leon when it comes to rejuvenating a half-baked story. Once Death dumps out its bag of tricks, there's no place to go but six feet under. [31 July 1992, p.6D]

This senior-class Cabaret is just a TV after-school special with a better soundtrack. [05 Mar 1993]

Those who go to see “Dead Men Don’t Tell Tales” might just recognize that hollow feeling as they leave the theater.

The Cutting Edge is a sharp-looking but rinky-dink rink romance that would earn 6.0's in compulsory cliches. [27 March 1992, p.4D]

Sure, take the young'uns. But don't be surprised if movie time turns into nap time. [6 July 1990]

A romantic comedy has to woo an audience into taking a chance on love. While You Were Sleeping is that kind of sneaky charmer, more riveting than ribbit-ing. [21 Apr 1995, Pg.01.D]

At Middleton is the just the sort of trite if inoffensive diversion that barely tiptoes into theaters before landing in the cable and video-on-demand listings.

The ensemble cast, struggling with wanly written characters, hits more clunkers than high notes.

Director Chuck Hanson, who did The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, provides many pretty-postcard shots of Oregon and Montana. But he should have been the hand that rocks the raft instead of holding off on most of the foamy feats until the final minutes. [30 Sep 1994, p.5D]

This isn't art, it's commerce. [20 Nov 1992, p.1D]

Happily, MacLaine (who can pull off these lovable eccentric dowagers while she's sleeping) and Fraser, showcasing a previously untapped flair for romantic comedy, keep Lake on her toes. [19 Apr 1996, p.1D]

A sweetly-intentioned though somewhat awkwardly structured spin on a Hallmark Channel-style dramedy that strives to shed light on the disorder from a female perspective.

A high-altitude soap opera, woozy with overly telegraphed peril and determined to make the audience root for a couple who clearly aren’t meant for each other and played by actors who deserve a generous C-minus in chemistry.

Nothing really fun, scary or exceptionally gross occurs.

Clearly there is a severe case of “Paddington” envy here and a hunger for yet another animated franchise. But easy chuckles are no substitute for genuine charm.

It's not dumb-good. It's dumb-stupid.

If only the story that surrounds this watchable heroine were as well-stacked.

From the moment he trudges through the woods in his scratched and smudged birthday suit, Paul Bettany as a saucy Geoffrey Chaucer takes command.

The best parts of this tepid thriller, which seems designed to actually lower audience’s heart rates, arrive before the plot kicks in.

Michael Chiklis doesn’t get to inject nearly enough humor as Coach Lad’s more demonstrative assistant.

Director Stephen Norrington is more keen on finding new ways to explode the fiends... than developing a credible story. So the movie flits from one gore-laden assault to another with little suspense.

Goldberg has her best role in a while, especially when she twitches and grunts her way into phony trances. Poor Demi, though, cries enough tears to drench a small drought-stricken state. [13 July 1990, Life, p.4D]

As hard as it is to admit, Guest’s once-incisive satirical bite has grown dull in its familiarity. He doesn’t seem to be having as much fun here and neither are we.

At a certain point, however, I began to treat The Song as a kind of guilty pleasure, a not particularly good movie that nonetheless entertains in spite of itself.

Cusack's distinctive handling of his sullen poet offers an opportunity for Adult World to make a statement about youthful ambition and middle-age disillusionment beyond Billings dubbing Amy and her peers as "Generation Mundane." But the film just stops short of truly achieving that goal.

Yet, when it all clicks, Ephron is able to make the familiar sparkle anew. [25 Jun 1993 Pg. 01.D]

A somber and derivative relationship drama.

All in all, Very Good Girls is a very bad excuse to subject those of us who have enjoyed Fanning ever since 2001’s "I Am Sam" to seeing her flash her bare fanny, fondle herself provocatively and cavort in her underwear for no dramatic purpose. Yes, she should be allowed to grow up onscreen. But without a story that justifies it, it just feels sad and desperate.

Rather than presenting something akin to the heady youthful cravings of Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes as contemporary versions of Romeo and Juliet, the equally tragic Marguerite & Julien often feels more like a version of Richie and Margot in Wes Anderson’s “The Royal Tenenbaums” crossed with the pre-teen runaways from “Moonrise Kingdom,” but minus the humor and insight.

The Angry Birds Movie isn’t a total turkey. The animation itself is OK and I did laugh out loud once.

Under the guise of delivering one of the most overworked of messages - adults are dolts, kids rule - North fails such basics as a compelling story, fleshed-out characters and a brisk, bright pace. [22 Jul 1994, p.5D]

It settles for the recycled emotions of the past despite the fact "Schindler's List" has forever made such treatment shamefully passe. [18Apr1997 Pg.03.D]

t's far too soon for an actress as vital as Jessica Lange to stoop to Bette Davis-Joan Crawford horror-hag histrionics. [6 Mar 1998, pg.04D]

The transition from Hanna-Barbera animation to manic-barbaric live action falls flatter than a granite slab, from the first of many deadly stone-age wordplays - "Steven Spielrock Presents" - to the gross-out shots of dirty tootsies. [27 May 1994 Pg. 01.D]

As a condescening moron who natters on non-stop in this simplistic comedy, Elliott doesn't just wear out his welcome, he nukes it. [14 Jan 1994]

Pytka may know how to push fizzy water, but he certainly can't make a punch line sparkle. [21 Aug 1989]

How to Be a Latin Lover all too quickly devolves into a nearly two-hour slog showcasing Mexican comedy superstar Eugenio Derbez’s attempt to seduce U.S. audiences with a cheesy bilingual spoof of an ethnic stereotype long past its expiration date.

As a director, Seagal isn't much on transition scenes. That would cut into the time devoted to knives slicing through heads. [21 Feb 1994, p.4D]

Just like its albino-like villains, this Village is a pale imitation. [28 Apr 1995, p.3D]

The story ends up being one wrong turn after another. A GPS hasn’t been invented that could get this plot-hole-riddled script back on track.

Yes, the casual-chic interior designs shine as much as her mom’s ever did. But I never really felt at home with Home Again.

All the Drano in the world couldn't fix what's clogging the works in Super Mario Bros. [1 June 1993, p.6D]

Unless you have a craving to watch a sluggish Ski-Doo race or want to admire Chase dressed as a hula dancer, consider this the cinematic equivalent of yellow snow.

There's probably a fall-out-of-your-seat, laugh-your-head-off comedy to be made about house guests. Meanwhile, the maddeningly mediocre Madhouse will have to do. [16 Feb 1990, p.4D]

The concept is so hypocritical, it's like Britney Spears calling Christina Aguilera underdressed and overexposed.

As late Christmas presents go, Reindeer Games is best left unwrapped.

Douglas prances and chants with crimson-haired tribesmen who look like they were styled by Dennis Rodman. He talks a good game. (Why does he kill? "Because I've got a gift.") But he is trapped by the same undernourished script as the rest of the cast. Secondary characters are fleshed out so little, they should simply wear labels that say "kitty snacks." [11 Oct 1996]