Jesse Hassenger

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For 802 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 44% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 6.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jesse Hassenger's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 91 American Honey
Lowest review score: 12 Asking for It
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 69 out of 802
802 movie reviews
    • 65 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Look, as far as toy ads go, Transformers One is tolerable. It’s a little more fully imagined and rounded out than the jankier weirdness of its 1986 spiritual predecessor. The difference is that in 2024, a Transformers cartoon isn’t just selling toys to kids; it’s selling its own sketchy credibility to fans of all ages.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 37 Jesse Hassenger
    Though its actual storytelling is pretty arbitrary, The Black Phone has the emotional simplicity of a children’s film, wearing its grit like makeup.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 61 Jesse Hassenger
    The movie never turns into a full-tilt caper, even as the obligatory end-credits appendix hints at enough material to inspire one. It’s stuck, charmingly and a little wanly, in another era.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    For a lot of Marvel fans, it will be more than enough. For the more superhero skeptical, it offers a helpful example of how simply skipping the origin stuff on the fourth try doesn’t automatically confer a sense of dramatic urgency or comic-book wonder.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    Leo
    Leo looks like the kind of standard big-studio animation Netflix has been regularly knocking off, but it’s far funnier, and more unexpectedly sweet, than the average kid-targeted cartoon. In fact, Robert Smigel, Adam Sandler, and their collaborators have made one of the funniest movies of the year that doubles as a love letter to the complexities of teaching kids, in or out of the classroom.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Plus One isn’t much more than consistently amusing and sweetly romantic, but in the right hands, those qualities can still feel like a lot.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    What’s consistent about Photograph is the way it maintains the delicacy of a particularly fine short story, complete with some ghostly supporting characters and plenty of ellipses where more conventional movies would amp up the exclamation points.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    Despite a top-shelf cast and strong subject matter, Suffragette feels like the product of limitations.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 91 Jesse Hassenger
    The small miracle of Leslye Headland’s second film as writer-director is not that it sidesteps its influences or shuns its genre. It’s that it somehow makes the lusty undercurrents of its male/female friendship unironically romantic and, at times, unapologetically sexy.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 72 Jesse Hassenger
    Mottola and Hamm don’t seem like they’re trying to rewrite Hamm in Fletch’s image, or vice versa. They look more like they’re making exactly the half silly, half sly movie they personally want to see.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 56 Jesse Hassenger
    Like a lot of sequels, it feels the need to go bigger and brasher even as it repeats much of its predecessor. And so despite a streaky-canvas animation style that fuels the characters’ momentum, it eventually feels like a whole lot of pirouettes and flips around a security system that isn’t really there.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 59 Jesse Hassenger
    Apart from some compelling procedural elements, the movie is mostly style, and that style is a generic mess of tics: pseudo-documentary quick zooms, exchanges of fraught glances, and handheld camera work.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    The charitable reading is that Ready Or Not understands how moneyed entitlement knows no gender — that the only way to break the arbitrary yet destructive grasp of the super-rich is to chop it off, or possibly light it on fire. So no, not a subtle movie. But a fairly satisfying one.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    This kitschy, weirdo movie has such a bizarre clarity of vision about what it wants to do that a few biffed jokes are almost part of its charm, like its sketch-comedy accents and intentional defiance of logic.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 42 Jesse Hassenger
    In Infinitely Polar Bear, Ruffalo attempts to put a recognizable, charismatic, slightly worn face on manic depression. Somehow, though, he comes up with a vaguely theatrical, and vaguely wearying, performance.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    The main problem is a dialogue-heavy script by first-time screenwriter Jonathan Perera that mistakes quantity of verbiage for quality.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Cold Storage makes horror-comedy look as easy and appealing as it’s supposed to be.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    St. Vincent goes down easier than it probably should. It helps that Lieberher, though saddled with some cutesy movie-kid dialogue, makes a sweet and empathetic sidekick for Murray (he calls him “sir” constantly, like Marcie in old Peanuts strips), and that McCarthy, like so many gifted comedians, proves capable of playing it straight as needed.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Low Tide is mostly a genre exercise. But it’s a disciplined, rigorously entertaining one.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    As a result, this well-meaning puff piece sometimes appears to double as an extended video-dating profile: Generous sexagenarian seeks stable younger woman for procreation.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    Enjoyable as it is, Scott’s movie is adrift in a closed system, a massive warship floating around a coliseum.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    This sentimentalization plagues so many nostalgia pieces aimed at ex-kids, though at least a movie that ultimately pushes its luck and stalls out befits the high-rolling teenagers at its center. Most of Snack Shack is a winning scheme.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 72 Jesse Hassenger
    The triptych of dark, minimalist fables that comprise Kindness share actors, an unnerving Twilight Zone tone, and a series of rhymes and echoes that sometimes feel like a chorus repeatedly transposed into different keys. But they most immediately, obviously share a lack of interest in being liked.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Late Night is admirably eager to address the messy problems of the comedy world, but it ultimately can’t stop cleaning up after itself.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    If the movie’s adult characters are conveniences, its evocation of teenage yearning-slash-horniness (and the ways those can get mixed up) feels pretty real, even in the more outlandish moments.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    Even when The Bad Guys resembles other movies, it’s stealing from them gracefully, with its own sensibility and energy.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Dora And The Lost City Of Gold, like that Nancy Drew movie, isn’t really for teenagers, any more than High School Musical is; it’s for tweenage-and-younger kids who look toward the high-school horizon with a combination of aspirational awe and chilling fear.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 60 Jesse Hassenger
    For a designated last great hope of original sci-fi, this is a surprisingly programmatic picture.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 61 Jesse Hassenger
    Gyllenhaal is the whole show, and his irritable, driven, struggling character doesn’t exactly glorify his line of work. His unpleasantness gives the movie its edge, and perhaps also an unearned sense of gravitas.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    Rather than blazing a new trail for Lego cartoons, this may be the first one to feel like it’s adhering too closely to its instruction booklet.

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