Jesse Hassenger
Select another critic »For 801 reviews, this critic has graded:
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53% higher than the average critic
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3% same as the average critic
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44% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 6.5 points lower than other critics.
(0-100 point scale)
Jesse Hassenger's Scores
- Movies
- TV
| Average review score: | 59 | |
|---|---|---|
| Highest review score: | American Honey | |
| Lowest review score: | Asking for It | |
Score distribution:
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Positive: 362 out of 801
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Mixed: 370 out of 801
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Negative: 69 out of 801
801
movie
reviews
- By Date
- By Critic Score
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- Jesse Hassenger
Deep Water is more like the movie plenty of people probably assumed Deep Blue Sea would be like in the first place: watchable, forgettable shlock.- Polygon
- Posted May 8, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Fuze doesn’t fly off the rails at its midpoint. It keeps moving forward at a steady clip. By its final stretch, however, the effort to sustain itself becomes more visible, and less quietly confident.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Apr 22, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
The movie’s thread about parental neglect and/or sacrifice is wispy. As a carnival geek show, though, Lee Cronin’s The Mummy delivers the goods, and at greater volume than its unofficial predecessors. It isn’t as personal a movie as the possessive title implies, but the marketing is largely correct: For the first time in ages, a mummy presides over a real horror show.- Polygon
- Posted Apr 21, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Though their conflicts eventually lead to horror-movie violence, the cruelest fate, the movie implies, may be a professional life consigned to malls, overpriced novelty coffee drinks, and other commercial/cultural remnants of a millennial youth.- Polygon
- Posted Apr 10, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
It’s both a canny contemporary riff on the material and a well-made but only moderately scary slasher.- Polygon
- Posted Apr 10, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
It doesn’t capture the full horror potential of climate change, rising floodwaters, or even bloodthirsty sharks. But the filmmakers sure throw themselves into the fray with enthusiasm.- Polygon
- Posted Apr 10, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Alpha is more of a horror-inflected drama than an outright genre piece, which allowed plenty of critics to fixate, not unfairly, on its failings as an AIDS metaphor. Yet the movie has resonance beyond simply recalling the years of its creator’s youth.- Polygon
- Posted Mar 31, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie doesn’t really have the patience for character-based conflict, or plotting more complicated (or motivated) than groups of characters showing up to different planets on cue.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Mar 31, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice practically warns the audience against taking it too seriously, even while talking out the other side of its mouth about its own heartfelt themes.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Mar 26, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
After so many smirky bloodfests, They Will Kill You scarcely needs believable human relationships to earn some goodwill. All it really needs is Beetz convincingly going through hell.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Mar 26, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
While there’s plenty of familiarity in Pixar’s small-scale animated romp Hoppers, there’s also a smart, unruly variation at its center.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Mar 2, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Maybe the most baffling thing about Scream 7 is that it’s not an off-the-rails franchise-ending disaster. It’s entertaining enough, with a few fun side performances and the easy prickliness of Sidney and Gale’s friendship. But it’s missing the giddy carnival-ride audience-movie thrills and clever meta-humor of previous entries, and the more serious material simply isn’t insightful enough to take its place (or distract from its craven origins as a corporate patch-job).- Polygon
- Posted Feb 26, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Cold Storage makes horror-comedy look as easy and appealing as it’s supposed to be.- Polygon
- Posted Feb 19, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
The actual sports stuff feels a little sweatier, with too much clamor for each animal teammate to really pop. But Goat still leaps over the worst pitfalls of big-studio kid-centric animation. Where it counts, the movie knows just enough ball.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Feb 9, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
The Moment doesn’t meet the gold standard of self-pitying emptiness set by The Weeknd’s Hurry Up Tomorrow, but it does share with that movie the sense that the gorgeous surface is performing a kind of vamping at the behest of a music-video-thin story.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Jan 30, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
As much as some of the imagery feels like Raimi playing the hits, Send Help also suggests a later-career shift for the filmmaker, one where his comic-book throwbacks run into (or over?) contemporary obstacles without losing their go-for-broke loopiness. It can get messy. Good for him.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Jan 26, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Mercy takes a more bombastic approach with more speculative technology, only to chicken out of using that bombast to do anything other than jostle the audience through a series of contrived absurdities. If this is the future of crime thrillers, everyone needs their screentime severely curtailed.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Jan 21, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
20 years later Gans still can’t figure out how to escape the open-ended confinement of gameplay, or even give it the forward momentum of a game with a mission.- The Guardian
- Posted Jan 21, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
It’s no better than it needs to be, and it’s not bad enough to be consistently laughable, either.- Polygon
- Posted Jan 16, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
It’s a neat surprise that DaCosta extracts more dark humor from the series than Boyle himself.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Jan 13, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Primate makes a characteristically concise case for Roberts as a genre stylist to keep watching.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Jan 8, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Greenland 2: Migration takes itself seriously in all the wrong ways; it wants to maintain a safe distance from the real world, while urging the audience to shed a tear over some imagined nobility.- The Guardian
- Posted Jan 8, 2026
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- Jesse Hassenger
Rudd and Black make the new Anaconda easy enough to accept as a comedy with a dash of clunky effects-based creature action, rather than a full-blown horror-comedy.- The Guardian
- Posted Dec 23, 2025
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- Jesse Hassenger
Paul Feig has always seemed a little uncomfortable with exploitation, but he makes some progress with this thriller.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Dec 16, 2025
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- Jesse Hassenger
Fire And Ash is terrific entertainment that occasionally gives the impression of well-appointed vamping; it’s almost enough to wonder if all the meticulous writer’s-room blueprinting of two-to-four Avatar sequels might have done as much harm as good. Viewers who just long for more time in Pandora are in luck: Cameron may not see a way out himself.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Dec 16, 2025
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- Jesse Hassenger
Like a lot of movies, Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 has its own souvenir popcorn bucket. This may be the first one where the bucket is more entertaining than the feature.- The Guardian
- Posted Dec 4, 2025
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- Jesse Hassenger
The miracle of Chalamet’s performance is that as brazen, indecent, and dishonest as Marty is, he makes a temporarily convincing case for himself as a thwarted athlete, rather than a crook with an athletic fixation.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Dec 1, 2025
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- Jesse Hassenger
In traditional terms, it could simply be described as a tearjerker. Like Buckley’s performance, though, it’s richer than that, a cross between an out-of-body experience and a full-body sob. Some will likely resist it on those grounds, understandably. But, again, framing our reactions with the feelings of others is rarely a good idea, and despite its moments of faltering, Hamnet hits like an emotional wrecking ball—devastating as it clears its path.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Nov 26, 2025
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- Jesse Hassenger
Zootopia 2 feels like it came out as the filmmakers intended, even if they set their own expectations at medium instead of high.- The Daily Beast
- Posted Nov 26, 2025
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- Jesse Hassenger
The intimate highlights are too few and far between in this distended adaptation.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Nov 18, 2025
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