Jesse Hassenger

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For 801 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 44% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 6.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jesse Hassenger's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 91 American Honey
Lowest review score: 12 Asking for It
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 69 out of 801
801 movie reviews
    • 58 Metascore
    • 56 Jesse Hassenger
    Much of The Roses languishes in second gear, with glints of amusement (Colman doing an Ian McKellan impression; the Englishness of punctuating or preceding insults with “darling”) that only accumulate in a way that makes the movie feel a little safe, compared to the genuine rancor and bitterness of the earlier film.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s remarkable, then, how well Caught Stealing holds together as entertainment; as much as Aronofsky seems incapable of the modulation needed to make a crime caper, he’s also a big part of why this particular variation works anyway.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Eden winds up yoking Howard’s more domesticated movies with his thwarted-adventure narratives. The suspense lies in whether certain characters will figure out whether they’re on a bold, one-off exploration or the cusp of a sustainable new life—and whether humanity on the whole is any good at telling them apart.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 80 Jesse Hassenger
    In pure plot mechanics and interpersonal dynamics, Splitsville resembles any number of Woody Allen movies, double-hinged on the capriciousness and endurance of love.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    Like a lot of Coen movies, it’s not exactly an outright spoof, but it takes place in its own little stylized pocket universe. Unlike a lot of Coen movies, Honey Don’t! doesn’t quite come together as a mystery.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    It somehow manages to lack both the true moral murk of a great noir, while also eschewing the elemental drama of a great Western. It’s pretty good at both, though, and Tost seems like he knows it, without letting the movie’s solid craft go to his head.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 79 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s a movie that sometimes feels obsessed with music, and sometimes feels like an old man flipping back to his preferred, familiar playlist.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 80 Jesse Hassenger
    Weapons is masterfully entertaining and far more ambitious than Barbarian, and it feels more personal in the abstract. It more closely resembles a collage of nightmares than the expertly calibrated rollercoaster ride of Cregger’s previous film. But there’s something elusive about Weapons, too, meaning that — to stick with Fincher comparisons — the movie lands somewhere between Seven’s blunt-force didacticism and Zodiac’s sophisticated ghostliness.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    When this nearly two-hour movie enters its intentionally laughless final stretch, Freakier Friday feels more and more like the extended encore of a reunion concert—not least because that’s essentially where it takes place.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    The Pickup is entertaining on that most basic of slack-jawed levels: It has likable stars doing movie stuff (car chases, elaborate deceptions) that the movie seems to bank on blurring into memories of other, better capers.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 56 Jesse Hassenger
    Like a lot of sequels, it feels the need to go bigger and brasher even as it repeats much of its predecessor. And so despite a streaky-canvas animation style that fuels the characters’ momentum, it eventually feels like a whole lot of pirouettes and flips around a security system that isn’t really there.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 78 Jesse Hassenger
    Cop-supremacy pulp may be hard to revive with a straight face; the laugh-a-minute spoof, though, is momentarily and gloriously back.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 69 Jesse Hassenger
    Together doesn’t succumb to the dreaded “metaphorror” effect, where every plot point and character serves a clearly coded metaphorical purpose. It’s often grimly funny, with the actors (and their talented physical doubles) throwing themselves into their roles.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    The sequel is another indication that Sandler is still undertaking his longtime mission of making silly comfort-food comedies with the stealth seriousness of older age.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    For a lot of Marvel fans, it will be more than enough. For the more superhero skeptical, it offers a helpful example of how simply skipping the origin stuff on the fourth try doesn’t automatically confer a sense of dramatic urgency or comic-book wonder.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Jesse Hassenger
    Who could have guessed that a simple Smurfs reboot would constitute such an unholy mess?
    • 72 Metascore
    • 69 Jesse Hassenger
    González-Nasser offers glimpses of what might make the work rewarding enough to stick with, and, with it, how elusive those feelings must be.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    Christian Swegal’s film is most effective in its early, character-study moments, as it leaves the audience to discover that Jerry, for all of his confidence, has a worldview informed by absolute nonsense.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 74 Jesse Hassenger
    James Gunn’s real superpower is his ability to wear this comic-book nonsense lightly — to take it seriously within the world of the movie without feeling like he’s assigning homework.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 63 Jesse Hassenger
    For all of its craft, 40 Acres feels fenced in.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Jesse Hassenger
    Though The Old Guard 2 is only the second installment in this movie series, it’s already far weaker than its predecessor. It does just about everything worse.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    In its fusion of Edwards’ craft with characters who aren’t thunderously stupid or unlikable, this is the best Jurassic movie in ages – in part because it works so comfortably as an ooh/ahh/run/scream monster movie.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 65 Jesse Hassenger
    The overall structure of the movie is just race, break for argument, race, occasional montage, race some more; it gets a steady rhythm going but it’s not exactly white-knuckle suspense, either.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 65 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s a little too pre-programmed and self-conscious to be truly witty, yet the tone it strikes and the genre space it carves out feels undeniably itself: part comedy, part sci-fi mayhem, with remnant notes of shlocky horror.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 80 Jesse Hassenger
    As with the first film, the look of 28 Years Later is key to its effectiveness.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    The opening of the movie has some perfectly timed visually-delivered laughs, like an early car scene involving an accidental failure to reverse, and the bottle-episode staginess of later scenes limits the visual invention. Still, by this point you’ve boarded the ride, and Oh, Hi! keeps you captive in a way that Iris only dreams of: by sheer force of Gordon’s personality.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Fun as it is, Elio just goes for the montage, eager to speak a universal language.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 43 Jesse Hassenger
    Everything’s Going to Be Great just has characters and ideas waiting in the wings to rush in nonsensically.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 52 Jesse Hassenger
    Most of the time, though, How to Train Your Dragon’s live-action craft fails to match the equivalent in its animated counterpart, even with original filmmaker Dean DeBlois on hand for his live-action feature debut.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 82 Jesse Hassenger
    Sweeney’s film, his second high-achieving, high-wire act in a row, lives on the line between yearning and helpless fixation.

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