Of Kings and Prophets

What ABC has tried to do is make something that will appeal to the sword-and-sandal crowd and the faith-based one. Predictably, neither will be pleased.... Prophets manages a few things well--notably the production values--and gives American TV audiences their first good, long look at the fine veteran British actor Ray Winstone. Newcomer Rix is promising, too.

The story dawdles at times, despite efforts to spice things up with some of that good ol’ Old Testament iniquity.

Of Kings and Prophets is too worldly and iconoclastic for the faith crowd, not worldly and iconoclastic enough for everyone else. There’s some impressive sword and sandal spectacle--there’s a creative, gruesome treatment of David’s clash with Goliath--but it’s mostly dingily lit chamber drama.

There’s more potential to Of Kings And Prophets than in past cracks at such sword-and-sandal fare, but it’s not a very amiable prophecy when the show starts losing the reigns on even its most straightforward of story lines (David and Saul’s frenemy feud) so soon into its run.

There are moments when Of Kings and Prophets seems sincere and very timely in its examination of the tense and historically troubling relationship between politics and religion.... But those moments are few and far between, at least in early episodes, which seem more interested in proving once again that people are people no matter what the century or how true the script is to the time period.

The story of David has always fascinated because it contains so many universal dramatic and psychological elements. This is not the worst version of the tale, just a pedestrian one.

This muddled series, at least from the first three episodes, doesn’t give a viewer much to latch onto.

With its many moving parts never quite working in unison, Of Kings And Prophets plays the game of thrones and neither wins nor dies.

Creators Adam Cooper and Bill Collage might have wanted to sex-and-violence up the most famous black book ever, but they end up just creating a bunch of silliness, full of shepherd bro talk and sexy Old Testament flirting. They are not aided by the television tradition known as Every Historic Tale Must Be Played by British Actors.

Watching, you feel as though its story is just familiar enough to seem inevitable whenever it’s not tedious, and its earnestness short-circuits any electrical charge of wit or sexiness.

The show is content to revel in sweaty theatrics and solid performances, and its source material provides enough narrative direction that the writers can likely get by just fine with an excess of gritty-reboot reinterpretation more than real imagination. What’s most sorely lacking in Of Kings and Prophets, though, is that same spark of narrative ingenuity.

A scattered, superficial narrative that doesn’t gain much traction. Despite the efforts of the varied cast and the show’s directors, who come up with some memorable visuals, those looking for either biblical education or soapy thrills are likely to end up praying for deliverance.

The whole affair seems like a major miscalculation: Of Kings and Prophets seemingly features too much sex and violence for some churchgoers and not enough clarity for anyone else.

Think “Game of Thrones” for broadcast TV, minus dragons, with over-the-top melodrama, as much skin as broadcast TV will allow and bad dialog.