Game play is like "Jet Grind Radio," minus the roller skates. Worse still, the game's camera wheels around like Flava Flav after quaffing too much Dom P.

Game play is like "Jet Grind Radio," minus the roller skates. Worse still, the game's camera wheels around like Flava Flav after quaffing too much Dom P.

The baseball action, even sans the MLB license (it belongs to 2K Sports, now), is still the best in the business.

The baseball action, even sans the MLB license (it belongs to 2K Sports, now), is still the best in the business.

Sneaking up on unsuspecting monkeys, cracking them in the head with your stun club, then scooping them up in your net, we confess, is still as much fun as drinking six happy hour-priced banana daiquiris.

The actual gameplay mechanics blow. The's game's targeting and camera system is about as skittish as the Howells' from Gilligan's Island would be at the Vibe Awards.

The actual gameplay mechanics blow. The's game's targeting and camera system is about as skittish as the Howells' from Gilligan's Island would be at the Vibe Awards.

Like this year's Philadelphia Eagles, this game is the quintessential example of a franchise taking a step in the wrong direction. Our advice: Run away.

Like this year's Philadelphia Eagles, this game is the quintessential example of a franchise taking a step in the wrong direction. Our advice: Run away.

Like this year's Philadelphia Eagles, this game is the quintessential example of a franchise taking a step in the wrong direction. Our advice: Run away.

Remember how sparks and hubcaps pingponged everywhere in "Burnout Revenge" and "Midnight Club 3?" Remember how your eyes hurt because you were afraid to blink during races? Sadly, the only thing Rush made us feel was hungry for more beer nuts.

Remember how sparks and hubcaps pingponged everywhere in "Burnout Revenge" and "Midnight Club 3?" Remember how your eyes hurt because you were afraid to blink during races? Sadly, the only thing Rush made us feel was hungry for more beer nuts.

Just like our last girlfriend, the game does a little too much hand-holding for our tastes. And any gamer worth his beans won't be challenged by Sly 3 until the excellent final levels.

The sequel features even more happy, shiny, Hello Kitty!—style idiocy. But peel away the idiocy, and you'll find the same dull, creatively bankrupt ball-rolling mini-game as the original.

Blindly swinging your sword while trying to manipulate your skeleton is like trying to drive a unicycle on a high wire covered with banana peels. And we all know how that brilliant little experiment ended, now don't we?

The game's third-person combat is pretty much D.O.A.—target, shoot, repeat, etc.—but things pick up considerably once you acquire your chainsaw and boomstick (aka 12-gauge shotgun). And things pick up again after you partner up with a wise-cracking midget Deadite.

The game's third-person combat is pretty much D.O.A.—target, shoot, repeat, etc.—but things pick up considerably once you acquire your chainsaw and boomstick (aka 12-gauge shotgun). And things pick up again after you partner up with a wise-cracking midget Deadite.

But battling groups of bad guys gets dangerously dull after an hour or two, especially when the game's unfair A.I., just like our booze-addled fathers, has a tendency to make you pay dearly for even the slightest gaff.

The game's third-person combat is pretty much D.O.A.-target, shoot, repeat, etc.-but things pick up considerably once you acquire your chainsaw and boomstick (aka 12-gauge shotgun). And things pick up again after you partner up with a wise-cracking midget Deadite.

Indeed, the game requires constant shouting into the mike; so you can forget about ever playing this cart on public transporation... unless of course you don't mind being mistaken for an insane person.

Indeed, the game requires constant shouting into the mike; so you can forget about ever playing this cart on public transporation... unless of course you don't mind being mistaken for an insane person.

Indeed, the game requires constant shouting into the mike; so you can forget about ever playing this cart on public transporation... unless of course you don't mind being mistaken for an insane person.

Bury this one six feet under. Even if the Tim Burton aesthetic turns you on, the tepid gameplay makes this disc DOA.

The problem is, this disc probably won't offend anyone other than Hillary Clinton and it won't titillate anybody over the age of 12. Indeed, playing the game is like watching a third grader make farting noises: Both the game and the kid are trying like crazy to be offensive, but all they really want is a little attention.

The problem is, this disc probably won't offend anyone other than Hillary Clinton and it won't titillate anybody over the age of 12. Indeed, playing the game is like watching a third grader make farting noises: Both the game and the kid are trying like crazy to be offensive, but all they really want is a little attention.

The chronic problem that has plagued pinball games since the dawn of time plagues this pinball game: luck, rather than genuine skill, always wins the day. Trust us, jamming on those flippers and hoping for the best gets old fast.

Like a late-night hookup with the town floozy, this game might look promising when you take it home, but trust us, the next morning you're going to wonder why this disc is snuggled up inside your Xbox. Rent.

With eight race tracks in all, and only a couple of game modes to work through, you should be able to burn rubber through this cart in under an hour or two.

Like a late-night hookup with the town floozy, this game might look promising when you take it home, but trust us, the next morning you're going to wonder why this disc is snuggled up inside your Xbox. Rent.

Something about the A.E.U.G. rebels doing battle against the elite Titans police force…oh hell, just pass the damn aspirin already. But the gameplay does feature its fair share of bright and shiny explosions.

It’s decent, mindless fun…until you realize how little freedom your four heroes actually have.

It's decent, mindless fun…until you realize how little freedom your four heroes actually have.

It's decent, mindless fun…until you realize how little freedom your four heroes actually have.

It's decent, mindless fun…until you realize how little freedom your four heroes actually have.

The racing feels bone-dry next to the tastier "Midnight Club 3"; the tracks in Juiced are closed off and clean, giving the game a hygienic feel.

The racing feels bone-dry next to the tastier "Midnight Club 3"; the tracks in Juiced are closed off and clean, giving the game a hygienic feel.

The racing feels bone-dry next to the tastier "Midnight Club 3"; the tracks in Juiced are closed off and clean, giving the game a hygienic feel.

Sporting bigger loads than John Holmes (almost all of EA's PSP titles are plagued with long load times), this miniature version of the MVP franchise seems to be trying a little too hard to look good.

But can someone please explain why we lose Enthu points when aggressive opponents tag us in the ass-end? Only a cloven-hoofed Enron accountant would think this was OK.

It gets off to a promising enough start, but then it stumbles, then trips over its own feet, then chokes on its own vomit, then dies a slow, miserable death.

It gets off to a promising enough start, but then it stumbles, then trips over its own feet, then chokes on its own vomit, then dies a slow, miserable death.

The trademark 360-degree combat system still has us using the right control stick to assign attack buttons to enemies, but the fisticuffs now seem stale by today's action-game standards.

The narrative is a bit thin—there's a new drug on the street called "Liquid Soul" and your task is to figure out where it's coming from—but once the fists and lead start flying, you won't really give a damn why you're doing what you're doing.

The narrative is a bit thin-there's a new drug on the street called "Liquid Soul" and your task is to figure out where it's coming from-but once the fists and lead start flying, you won't really give a damn why you're doing what you're doing.

Much of the run-and-gun action is marvelously good but whenever we were just starting to get comfortable with a level or a particular set of weapons, the game was already zipping us off to someplace new.

Much of the run-and-gun action is marvelously good but whenever we were just starting to get comfortable with a level or a particular set of weapons, the game was already zipping us off to someplace new.

Much of the run-and-gun action is marvelously good but whenever we were just starting to get comfortable with a level or a particular set of weapons, the game was already zipping us off to someplace new.

And speaking of those late stages, don't plan on seeing them. Ever. This game is so controller-bustingly hard that even the one guy in the office who beat "Ninja Gaiden" ended up wetting himself, then shivering in a corner of the Xerox room all afternoon. Which is a real shame, because behind that near-impossible difficulty there's a big, beautiful action game here.

Using the various bio-augmentations is a hoot (one makes you invulnerable, another slows down time, etc.) Unfortunately, the developers were damn stingy with the save points, which means you'll be replaying some levels more times than you'd like.

Using the various bio-augmentations is a hoot (one makes you invulnerable, another slows down time, etc.) Unfortunately, the developers were damn stingy with the save points, which means you'll be replaying some levels more times than you'd like.

Keep an ice bag handy, because you'll press the square and triangle buttons billions of times before this one goes back on the shelf. The final boss: Carpal Tunnel!

Spell casting is a nice twist but overall this is your usual movie tie-in.

Spell casting is a nice twist but overall this is your usual movie tie-in.

The game's sole bright spot, sadly enough, is managing the magazine. When tracking market trends to increase readership is more thrilling than talking a cotton-tailed hottie into straddling you in the Grotto, you know something is very wrong.

The game's sole bright spot, sadly enough, is managing the magazine. When tracking market trends to increase readership is more thrilling than talking a cotton-tailed hottie into straddling you in the Grotto, you know something is very wrong.

The game's sole bright spot, sadly enough, is managing the magazine. When tracking market trends to increase readership is more thrilling than talking a cotton-tailed hottie into straddling you in the Grotto, you know something is very wrong.

For a handheld version, it ain't bad, but don't expect the same slick game you've been playing on the Xbox.

While some of the mini-games are curiously compelling—one had us actually blowing into the NDS microphone to snuff out a series of marching candles that were about to set a group of people on fire—there's no reason to ever play it again once the LSD wears off.

The action is solid—we actually enjoyed the old-school game play—but the sprawling level design cramped our fun. If you miss one of the hostages (and you will), plan on spending about 10 minutes backtracking. Ah, good times.

This sequel boasts larger battle arenas, including a surprisingly convincing New York City.

Slam it in reverse unless you're entertained by rolling quarters across a sunlit floor.

Slam it in reverse unless you're entertained by rolling quarters across a sunlit floor.

Slam it in reverse unless you're entertained by rolling quarters across a sunlit floor.

And the online play and Franchise mode are limited compared with the competition. But for a relaunch of an old, broken-down series, it's a screaming slap shot in the right direction.

Rent. You can play through the game in an afternoon and still get to your weekly "Magic: The Gathering" tournament on time.

This sequel boasts larger battle arenas, including a surprisingly convincing New York City.

The developers have managed to squeeze some extra mileage out of the tired "extreme sports" format with a solid racing engine and a trick/combo that will have you linking more tricks together than a prostitute at Charlie Sheen's Playa's Ball.

After two ass-kicking PS2 installments, the Guilty Gear fighting series has finally KO’d itself.

The comprehensive, well-designed 20-minute tutorial is about 19 minutes too long for us.

In fact, the game is almost as dull as listening to NPR (almost), but since it's so mercifully short, the credits will be rolling before you realize just how little fun you're having.

The game's graphics do a swell job of mimicking the trademark Pixar look and the levels are all based on the more memorable action sequences from the film. The game play, however, tastes like leftovers: clobber a bunch of bad guys, flip switch, repeat.

The game's graphics do a swell job of mimicking the trademark Pixar look and the levels are all based on the more memorable action sequences from the film. The game play, however, tastes like leftovers: clobber a bunch of bad guys, flip switch, repeat.

The soundtrack, featuring James Brown and Strawberry Alarm Clock, keeps you going long after the Agent Orange has taken away your ability to feel.

The irreverent, goofball sense of humor from the show is intact, which makes up for the sometimes iffy controls.

The irreverent, goofball sense of humor from the show is intact, which makes up for the sometimes iffy controls.

The soundtrack, featuring James Brown and Strawberry Alarm Clock, keeps you going long after the Agent Orange has taken away your ability to feel.

The long load times and pesky bugs, which vexed Tribes 2, are there to once again wreck havoc on our fun, so you need to download the necessary patches.

Raccoon City, the site of one or two zombie infestations in the past, is a playable level in the game.

The game combines stealth elements with brute force. Hell, Trigger Man even has a Knife Cam that lets you steer your blade through the air after throwing it.

The game combines stealth elements with brute force. Hell, Trigger Man even has a Knife Cam that lets you steer your blade through the air after throwing it.

The game combines stealth elements with brute force. Hell, Trigger Man even has a Knife Cam that lets you steer your blade through the air after throwing it.

If watering plants and making sure the food court is swept is your idea of a grand old time, then this might be the game for you.

Except for the cuts that play during the menu screens, the game features absolutely no music. Now that's hardcore, baby!

There is never a break in the action, and even with the obvious emphasis on ESP, the bullets never stop flying.

With no online capabilities or even tag-team possibilities, you're better off spending the 40 bucks on a Jenga game and a case of Schlitz.

There is never a break in the action, and even with the obvious emphasis on ESP, the bullets never stop flying.

There is never a break in the action, and even with the obvious emphasis on ESP, the bullets never stop flying.

Buy with the knowledge that even the multiplayer mode can’t save some environments from growing stale.

Buy with the knowledge that even the multiplayer mode can’t save some environments from growing stale.

While playing, we began to wonder whether it would be cooler if the bad guys won? We tried joining forces with them, but died each time. Way to be cliquey, guys.

After each race you feel underwhelmed. There are no "wow factor" moments.

This edition costs only $30, but you essentially get one game, with a lot of variants, for the money. If you want to go retro, you should pick up "Midway Arcade Treasures" for more 2-D bang for less buck.

At times, the game is more complicated than it needs to be (e.g., top scorer sets the rules, minigames within the game), but there are 20 episodes with over 60 girls displaying their tidbits, many of which are quite tantalizing.

Whether you're reeling in a king mackerel in Alaska or a peacock bass in the Amazon, there's still not enough spice to make up for the fact that you're fishing.

After each race you feel underwhelmed. There are no "wow factor" moments.

Whether you're reeling in a king mackerel in Alaska or a peacock bass in the Amazon, there's still not enough spice to make up for the fact that you're fishing.

After each race you feel underwhelmed. There are no "wow factor" moments.

At times, the game is more complicated than it needs to be (e.g., top scorer sets the rules, minigames within the game), but there are 20 episodes with over 60 girls displaying their tidbits, many of which are quite tantalizing.