Paranoia is geared towards this kind of playful arguments and collaborative storytelling more than it is simulation. You can’t easily replicate scenarios like the above in a video game, so to port the setting into a standard computer RPG requires… more. I do wish Paranoia: Happiness Is Mandatory had been a bit more daring in the attempt.

Even more upsetting are the momentary flashes of Platinum brilliance that shine through. The game hits you with the occasional stunning oil-painting backdrop, draws you in with the story for a split second. Sometimes the bosses are super cool, or you'll do an awesome last minute dodge and you'll feel unstoppable. Somewhere, deep down, there's a sliver of the fantastic Platinum. But it's mired in what it thinks makes a live service game tick and loses itself as a result.

This is a steaming pile of shit.

I could go on with describing Mechajammer's flaws and failures for far, far longer than I could stand playing it any more. The sheer relief at exorcising my complaints are the closest I've come to enjoying it since my brief excitement at the promise of its character creation screen. Between its awful, threadbare design and a shocking number of bugs and major glitches, this has been an absolutely miserable experience and not even close to fit for release.

The real heartbreaker is that I want to like the city of Abermore. It has so much potential. There’s real love in those streets, and so many toys to play with on a job. They have a secret bug cult! I gotta know what’s going on there. But right now, it's too rough and ready to recommend playing. It wants to riff on the same 'go with the flow' style of heist and sneaking as Arkane's Deathloop, but feels about as rickety as one of McDuckitt's ghost-knight automatons. I've been told the devs are currently working on a patch to fix up some of these game-breaking bugs, but at time of writing it's not going to be ready for launch. As it is, Abermore is a dame that I want to love, but she’s got nothing but contempt in her heart for me.

But even these moments of spectacle can't hide what is ultimately a very dull game. It's also quite janky, and I spotted plenty of canned animation loops, characters getting stuck in scenery, and Gollum clipping or jittering through the environment on several occasions to name just a few. But even if it were technically sound, Gollum is simply a game that fails to expand the world of Middle-earth in any meaningful way. There are glimmers of something here, but like the ring itself, this is best chucked into the bowels of Mount Doom and forgotten about forever.

With Flashback 2 there’s really only one thing to say: don’t buy it.

SquareCells fascinates me. It falls short of the elegant simplicity I found in Hexcells Infinite, but not by much. It scratches that exact same itch and, promisingly, it reminds me of how I felt about the first Hexcells game.

‘Farce’ really is the key word though – any time I suspected it was about to become acidic, it hammered the silliness button as hard as it could. I know I keep mentioning it in the context of The Stanley Parable, so here’s the summary without it: it’s funny, inventive short game about games and getting flustered.

But what I think Refunct most importantly demonstrates is the nascent skill of developer Dominique Grieshofer. This appears to be his first public project, and what’s displayed here is a rare talent for communicating what a player needs to do in a game without ever having to actually say it. That makes me want to keep a careful eye on whatever he does next.

This is an improved version of the game but, in singleplayer and in 1v1, it retains the same rigidity as the original release.

A quiet, careful joy, spinning an impressive tapestry out of relatively few threads.

Underneath it all is a sweet little game, that takes its cues from 16bit gaming in many right ways.

Perfect Angle looks like a neat little puzzle about rotating obscure 3D shapes until they align to form objects, but somehow sports the most astonishingly dreadful narrative of all time.

How about telling people that this is a fraction of a game at the point of sale? It’s only a tiny £2.80, as you’d hope for something less than two hours long, but the principle remains: if something’s episodic, you say so. Starting with putting it in the title.

After its brief hour, with a definitive conclusion, it’s something of a shame to realise it’s not in any way procedurally generated. Start over, as it will offer, and everything’s in the same place it was last time, giving you no incentive for another wander. But while it lasts it’s an extremely pleasant time.

So yes, should the maths homework weirdoness be part of your make-up, and in your case be matched by ability, then is a snap at £1.59.

As a ‘game’, well, I guess Apollo 11 isn’t answering any questions. As an often mesmerising and thrilling way to pass an evening, I’d point you at this long before I did the Vive’s headline acts such as The Lab and Job Simulator.

So yes, goodness me yes, get hold of this. Get hold of the first two, too. But most of all, get this.

The Average Everyday Adventures Of Samantha Browne is free, a really interesting little thing.

OPUS is very cute, and while the story obviously borrows heavily from elsewhere, and while the core mechanic will feel familiar to fans of Mass Effect, it was almost a lovely idea. I’d love to play OPUS Remastered, with the ideas elaborated upon, the ship clicking given more purpose, and a greater focus on those ambient puzzles. This remains interestingly strange, but never quite interesting enough.

It is definitely visually improved, but still looks very dated. And the remastering apparently didn’t include addressing the game’s many issues. But at the same time, this is still Shadow Complex, well loved, and definitely a decent time. Just a decent time from six years ago and looking and feeling like it.

The campaign can feel like a bit of a grind because of [this], but then again I really don’t believe that it’s been designed to be played doggedly for hours at a time. It’s best enjoyed as a precious hour of bright, brash space fantasy/Lego crate come to life to scratch imaginative itches here and there.

I found it difficult to get into Crea in the same way I did for its forefathers. It would be easy for me to say that part of that is down to fatigue with the genre – I have been through it all before, after all. But that is not the main problem I have with this latecomer. The fact is, it just does everything less well. The crafting, the researching, the art style, the fantasy monsters. There is constant development, like many of these games, so there is always time for things to be stripped out, and much more to be added in future. But at the moment, Crea feels like a step back in time.

I happily add 35mm to the swollen pantheon of RPS’ highly-recommended games from the first half of 2016. It is janky at times, but it is something special.

At £4 it’s a really easy decision – get this. It’s fun, spooky, peculiar, unique, and most of all – and I use this word very carefully – interesting. That’s something games too often are not. The Room Two unquestionably is – a properly interesting experience.

Replica is a strong concept played out a bit too broadly for its own good, but it’s just smart – and certainly timely – enough to get away with it.

Progressive, witty, and touching, if chronologically troubled, Killing Time At Lightspeed a fine thing.