What the hell is happening to the Sega that I knew and loved through the Genesis, Saturn and Dreamcast eras?

From generic level designs to Nina Williams’ busted right analog control, and from amateurish voice acting to an unbearable amount of never-ending loading pauses, this game is inexcusably poor and no fun to play whatsoever.

From its patchwork gameplay and its broken control scheme to its first-generation PlayStation 2 graphics and third-tier sound effects, nothing about this game is even worthy of a mention.

Despite new licensed wrestlers, dozens of new songs and new additions meant to appeal to rural America’s prurient interests (i.e. porn stars as playable wrestlers) Backyard Wrestling 2’s bad graphics, poor collision detection and awful dialogue sink it into the pit of holiday expendability.

The programmers behind Neo Contra make some puzzling changes to the series’ classic formula that shoot the whole project to hell. It’s as if KCET ("Gradius V") wanted to destroy Contra instead of reviving it.

You know Konami has screwed-up royally when a 15 year-old beat’em up wipes the floor with their current batch of Turtles games.

Vietcong could suck the sheet metal from a Sherman tank at 500 yards. This is by far the worst game on the PlayStation 2 and the dumb bastard that pays forty dollars for this lackluster frisbee deserves every second of the torment that it spits out.

Catwoman isn’t a game as much as a licensed train wreck.

While I recommend you rent this, buying it would be a grave mistake.

My biggest beef with Siren is that it's one and only really "key" feature, sightjacking, was played up to be a very useful tool that will be essential in your survival. What no one really bothered to mention is that sightjacking is about all the game really is (at least in the earlier portions of the game).

Buggy, clunky, littered with minute-long loading pauses (the tell-tale sign of a PC-to-console port gone bad) and framey as hell, this action title at least has a pretty cool premise that is enhanced by a well-told story and very good sound.

From its outdated graphics to button-mashing combos, and from its lame cast of new/returning characters to the needless addition of unnecessary gore, Bloody Roar 4 is weak sausage in a videogame system packed with succulent buffets of interactive brawling ("VF 4: Evo," "Tekken 4," etc.).

his game makes a mockery out of both its source material and the stealth genre it pretends to be a part of.

The cartoony violence, blood spills and redneck appeal of Backyard Wrestling’s rural locales and colorful cast of characters wears thin quicker than the time it took its equally-shoddy sequel to come out.

Never has decimating hundreds of undead bad guys with a friend by your side and bad-ass weaponry at your disposal been so boring, dull and depressing.

Who ever thought Atari Jaguar owners would still be playing the best Alien Vs. Predator videogame ever made EIGHT YEARS after their system's death? A rental for the curious, Extinction is as forgettable an RTS game as they come.

This has got to be THE WORST CONTROL IN THE HISTORY OF THIRD-PERSON ACTION GAMES.

From generic character designs to an underwhelming audio presentation (in a LucasArts game??!!), and from its close-to-unwatchable frame-rate choppiness to the endlessly boring fetch quests across Mars, RTX Red Rock is a laundry list of what NOT to put out on the crowded 3rd person action/adventure PS2 market these days.

I’d rather have root canal without anesthesia than to ever put myself through the pain that is playing this game any more than I had to already!

The repetitiveness of its gameplay, overt racist (and culturally bankrupt) attitude and lack of multiplayer options or rewards, however, sidelines THQ’s latest.

Stick with "Burnout 2: Point of Impact” for all your risk-vs.-reward arcade racing needs, and leave Speed Kings for some other schmuck that doesn’t know any better to test-crash on his/her own.

A valiant attempt at creating a serene and relaxed scavenger hunt.

I’d rather replay the boring parts of “Code: Veronica X” or the entirety of Agetec’s “Disaster Report” (a shitty-looking survival game we’re also reviewing today) than suffer through one more minute of Galerians: Ash’s broken gameplay and uninspired gameplay ideas.

Someone over at Blade Interactive must have been asleep at the wheel when coding this game's sound effects and music.

Competent but unoriginal.

Competent but inferior to its souped-up competitors, Final Four 2003 is an amusing weekend rental at best.

I don’t think my heartbeat rate rose above that of a dead corpse even once while playing Whiteout.

Even faithful fans of the TV show will have to extract their Powerpuff Girls fix from the far superior motion picture DVD than this hellish misfire.

A handful of neat fire and particle special effects can’t hide the fluctuating frame-rate, generic track design and lack of originality that permanently doom Drome Racers to PS2 inconsequentiality.

Dreadful, boring and not featuring an iota of the excitement and intensity found in its motion picture counterpart, Minority Report disappoints at every turn.

Its precariously short length (half-a-dozen brief stages plus Boss battles) and exorbitant price ($60 packed with a GunCon 2 and $45-50 by itself) couldn’t have come at a worst time.

Not even fans of the cancelled TV show will find anything remotely resembling fun or enticing gameplay in Dark Angel to justify the rental expense.

There’s nothing in Skateboarding's control, look, sound or execution that comes even remotely close to looking like the game was made with PlayStation 2 technology in mind.

Delivers a zero-frills interpretation of a board game that is best enjoyed with friends gathered around a table, NOT a TV set hooked up to a PS2.

Its dead-average platforming thrills, low asking price and beyond over-the-top visual style are this game’s saving graces.

The perfect April Fool's present for people that like to waste fifty bucks (or countless hours of their life) staring at a 'Loading' sign.

Sounds are OK and some (repeat, SOME) of the graphics are decent, but Dawn of Fate isn’t worth the gas money disappointed customers will spend rushing back to the store to beg for a refund.

Mindless action/adventure fare of the wrong and ill-conceived variety.

An arcadey boxing game that doesn’t measure-up to Midway’s years-old "Ready 2 Rumble Round 2."

Wastes its Lego license on a simple and kid-friendly soccer engine that offers zero appeal or incentive for anyone old-enough to watch “Scooby-Doo” reruns to come anywhere near it.

An extremely short playtime, too difficult for younger kids, and too simplistic for older folk, only diehard Spears fans, who adore these types of rhythm games, may consider deeming this worthy of even a rental.

Without the intense craziness of true Midway arcade charm, though, even the multiplayer wore thin, leaving me wanting to go back to games like FIFA.

An adequate but flawed multi-beast shooter that's too overpriced and unpolished to be worth the attention of anyone but the hardest of Ian Livingstone hardcore fans.

Maybe getting drunk would help me appreciate the simplistic gameplay and halfway-decent graphics that "Top Angler" is trying to pass as PS2 worthy.

Not even pictures/video of gorgeous Hooters girls in skimpy outfits could prevent our violent seizures and brain-hurting flashbacks when we played “Road Trip”.

A breath of fresh air. Not because it's a good game, but because it's such a boring and ultimately unrewarding experience, and an easy-to-categorize example of a Japanese game simply NOT translating well into a localized English release.

There's just no way around it, the camera is terrible and contributes to making this game’s fun factor go way down.

If bad videogames were disasters then Salt Lake 2002 would be The Hindenberg explosion and the sinking of Titanic rolled into one.

NAMCO is asking fifty bucks for the privilege of having our fingers sore and our pride hurt from playing a virtual masochist's dream come true.

Oh, my how the great have fallen...$50 for Parappa 2 is "highway robbery."

It's as if 3DO felt that the horrendous Core-designed, Eidos-published PS One game "Ninja" deserved an equally-flawed sequel that doesn't look much better than Activision's "Tenchu" games.

Zeonic Front didn't rock my world in the least, but it will undoubtly rock the world of any self-respecting Gundam fanatic willing to tolerate its truckload of flaws.

There is some mindless fun to be had playing along with friends, but not enough to compensate for the absence the Season, Franchise or Dynasty modes we've come to expect from EA Sports.

No sensation of speed in a snowboarding videogame = no fun!

If you like punishment or enjoy suffering through hours of boring quests and downright horrible fighting, then by all means go out and purchase this stinker at once. There’s so much wrong with this game it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what makes it awful as it is.

Although suffering from flaws on all fronts (particularly control), I think I can point to the reliance on item collecting as the primary culprit that brings The Great Quest down hard.

The text book definition of 'rental', 18 Wheeler is an expensive one-joke bomb when bought for $50 but an appealing and (dare I say it?) fun driving game for the couple of hours that it took me to beat the crap out of it.

The multi-player modes and maps in "Gold Edition", which are exclusive features for this PS2 port that were meant to be selling points, are sabotaged by control and graphics that are far below the standards of competing FPS titles on the system.

Rent "Driven", along with Square's "Driving Emotion Type-S", as it's suggested in page 47 of Dr. Jack Kevorkian's favorite book, "Final Exit".

Shoddy control and awful collision detection only worsen what could have been a decent game otherwise.

Its mini-golf courses (trick obstacles and all) and players are so below the 32-bit standards even low-budget titles should aspire to offer.

Not as offensive or terrible as the rating we've given it might imply.

Stay far far away from this unfortunate mess.

All the licenses and potential that Paris-Dakar Rally has as an enjoyable rally experience, however, go to waste in a game that makes the event it portrays seem more boring and dull than it should be.

A year ago this would have been a slight-step above "Army Men"-like badness, but in late 2001 it just doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of justifying its existence as stand-alone PS2 software.

Backyard Soccer should, indeed, be buried in someone's backyard and then stepped on forever by kids playing soccer on a make-believe soccer field above its burial ground.

Rent "Gadget Racers" instead.

I’ve decided to rename it “Chaotic Thunder”. See the game is such a chaotic mess that it’s hard to describe.

Vicki is no Lara Croft and unfortunate[ly] for 3DO she's not even close.

Control is atrocious, characters extremely odd and unappealing IMHO (your mileage may vary on this one), rewards for your trouble very minimal, graphics/sounds very underwhelming.

For an extra $5 and a trip down the Greatest Hits section of your software retailer you could get better PSX action games. But since when is common sense a virtue?

If you love this series on PC then stick to it there because the essence of what makes HMM is just hinted at on PS2.

A godsend for those who prefer almost no control over their players.

Once you go it alone, it becomes increasingly clear that your teammate AI is straight out pathetic.

Seldom has a videogame bored, depressed and insulted me the way "Army Men: Green Rogue" did.

One hell of a disappointment and one of the worst experiences I've ever had to endure on my shiny DVD-playing black box.

We can only sigh when playing and seeing such massive amounts of slowdown, dark level design and poor control.

Horrible control and subpar graphics ruin what could have been a special fighter on the PS2.

A game that plays like the 8bit days and that just won't cut it in this economy. Call this one Top Gear Letdown.

Stay away, far, far away from this and let's hope "ESPN NFL Primetime" can give EA some competition.

Two arcade perfect ports of games that will get stale within a short few minutes. Back then, way back then, this may have been revolutionary but on the PS2 it's almost like an insult to the grown intelligence of gamers.

If you're over the nostalgia that the prequel inspired, and don't give a rat's ass about poor Daisy's plight, leave this turd for those who don't know better.

Paying full price for "Real Pool" would be an insult to every other good PS2/DC/PSX/N64/GBC title that you haven't played yet.

The physics and feel of the cars is great, meanwhile the visuals are strictly last generation... Definitely not what we expected and not worthy of the PS2 name.

For a few brief seconds when you are adequately surfing, this game can be fun, but it is so unforgiving that the moment swiftly ends and you are ready to break the disc.

There isn't a tree, mountain, character, location or special effect in this game that has any degree of personality or liveliness within its existence, making the whole engine seem like an assembly-line, cookie-cutter, by-the-numbers effort on the part of From Software.

I really like SS and will pull it out of the shelf once every few moons, when I'm about three dozen other PS2 games shy of suggesting you spend $50 for it, when the same price tag can get you a discounted "House of the Dead 2" and third-party lightgun for your Dreamcast.

Bland and boring, this is a game to avoid unless you are the most rabid of ATV racing fans, tanked out of your mind on Schlitz, and have precious little else to do.