An incoherent mix of unattractive art styles and an absurd plot. [Apr 2011, p.114]

An exercise in tedium. [Spring 2011, p.117]

The menus are cumbersome. [May 2009, p.99]

Far too often, Sports Bar VR takes its ball and goes home. [Christmas 2016, p.86]

Storm's thunderthighs remain strangely alluring though. [Apr 2011, p.118]

Placing your shots feels random. [July 2007, p.109]

In a word, "poor." [July 2010, p.107]

The only upside is the soundtrack. [Issue#51, p103]

It's a brilliant idea, let down irreparably by a sub-bar fighting engine. [May 2007, p.114]

One of the worst lightgun titles ever. [Christmas 2010]

Punishingly samey environments. [Aug 2017, p.93]

You realise that you've been driving across the same square of virtual earth for half of a real-life hour, and you feel empty inside. [Aug 2015, p.90]

While it's entertaining at first, the lack of variety leaves a sour taste. [Christmas 2011, p.104]

Look, I didn't say they were fun objectives. [Feb 2010, p.104]

Sometimes you'll want to hit yourself hard in the head with your controller, jus to break up the monotony. [Christmas 2011, p.105]

Gameplay is sandwiched between terrible cut-scenes. [Feb 2013, p.104]

There's just too much wrong at the grass roots level. [Nov 2014, p.92]

Looking past the glitches, Wander's environment fails to reward your curiosity. [Aug 2015, p.94]

Plagued with loading times and bad dialogue. [Dec 2012, p.117]

Pinball is awesome - this is just a massively unsatisfying version of it. [Dec 2009, p.18]

There's some mild appeal. [Christmas 2010]

Given that fans of the movie have surely long-since moved on, there is simply no reason for this game to exist. [May 2007, p.120]

Repetitive gameplay, soulless visuals, and uncomfortable fan service. [May 2018, p.80]

There's an element of novelty in the first few minutes of play, but it doesn't last long. It isn't even the sketchy gameplay that sinks this Battleship – it's the abhorrently commercial objective apparent in every second of rushed gameplay. There's no artistic vision here, and the original idea at its core hasn't been given the time and love needed to build a coherent or enjoyable game.

It's not worth it, mate. [Christmas 2008, p.116]

If the tracking listing consisted of Lady Gaga and Crystal Castles, twiddling a little arrow around and hitting the face buttons might be more satisfying. [Sept 2010, p.117]

A platformer in a supremely pixellated visual style. [Feb 2013, p.107]

There's nothing amazing about this Spidey. [Christmas 2011, p.115]