If you’re an avid cyclist you’d be much happier outside on a bike, getting fit and savaging your sperm count, not suffering this flat, endorphinless facsimile. [August 2013, p78]

Daylight wants to scare the pants off of you, but stumbles with the basics instead. Just play Outlast. [July 2014, p83]

Unfortunately we just found the system makes the fighting itself feel quite alien and unsettling. It's that feeling of only partial control you get when you're reaching in from behind someone and using their own arms to teach them perform a task, combined with those dreams you occasionally have where your punches are all weak and flaccid despite the fact you feel like you're putting enough energy behind them to punch the rings off Saturn. [December 2010 p79]

Completely average. [Nov 2008, p.102]

Risen 2 gets worse when you lash that hideous combat to a graphics engine from five years ago, complete with a lurching framerate and sloppy interfaces. If you're charting a course for Risen 2 because you've heard the phrase 'pirate RPG' and figured nobody could screw that up, your hopes are about to swan-dive from the crow's nest to the poop deck. [October 2012, p75]

Have this – plus a HDD full of DLC tracks– and your next shindig is going to make the papers. [Christmas 2014, p75]

As a cerebral challenge SAW II is refreshing, fares noticeably better than the rushed original and is bloodier than an abattoir killing floor. That said, if you buy it expecting action that feels as visceral as the subject matter, you'll soon feel trapped with no way out. [December 2010 p76]

As a game based on a movie, Star Trek is ok. This is no rush job but it lacks either the expertise or imagination to make it passable as a game in its own right. And who the hell would bother with that. [July 2013, p77]

Sure, there are some minor kicks in three player co-op, but they're very short-lived and fraught with frustration. Call of Juarez should have stuck to its guns and remained an Old Wild Western. Avoid this like you would the real po-lice. [October 2011 p80]

As fun as it can be, Neptunia is an extremely niche title. If the only game you ever play is Black Ops, avoid this like a spinning-up death machine. If, however, you really miss the JRPG heydays of the PSone and PS2, you need this. Now. [June 2011 p76]

Stressful platforming action made infuriating by a bad camera. [January 2013, p78]

A game destined for the chopping block. [Summer 2009, p.78]

The only way this Vita version differentiates itself from the umpteenth Ridge Racers out there is the way it feels like a demo. You only get three cars and five tracks and no solo career. Want more content? Start paying, sucker. [April 2012, p79]

Battleship could never work as plain shooter. It's a facsimile of a facsimile that tries to pay homage to some of the biggest shooters out there but ends up ripping them off and in turn ends up being bland, characterless yet functional. The RTS elements definitely add an extra layer, but the strategic payoff is muted by near-constant nannying needed to keep them – and the game – afloat. [June 2012, p79]

Feelplus has been so single-minded in their efforts to create a unique drop-in/out multiplayer concept, they forgot the importance of welding it onto a singleplayer game that's worth replaying and buddying-up for in the first place. And without other humans running through your game, helping, hindering – or just making things interesting at all – you're stuck playing a mind-numbing shell of a game. Or, as the case will be, not playing it. [Mar 2011, p.79]

The career mode is insultingly linear, short-lived and your progress through it is interspersed with cheesy live-action videos of people giving you mad props for kooking your way through. In addition, when you take into account its sub-par visuals, a physics system from four years ago, and the ludicrous price of admission; RIDE is pure frustration made plastic. [Apr 2010, p.71]

Everything we loath about Eastern European developed games, and nothing we like. [September 2014, p70]

An abysmal failure. No sense of excitement, fear or anything. [July 2009, p.76]

What the avid propeller-head wants is realism, depth and tactics – all of which Damage Inc. does not deliver. There's no dynamic damage, your cockpit gauges may as well be crayoned on, and while the controls are responsive, this game cares not for your Earth-air physics. [December 2012, p74]

Getting your arm chopped off might actually be a better option. Just avoid this. [May 2014, p74]

As a shooter, you’ve been here a hundred times before. As an Aliens game it suffers the pressure of the legacy on which it’s built, and the story is diabolically woeful. Game over, man. [April 2013, p72]

The biggest problem with Naughty Bear is, while it's subversive, unique and wildly imaginative, it's flawed in a few crucial areas. The camera is the worse offender. It isn't beyond managing, but it could've been more cooperative. [August 2010 p74]

A hard sell even for die-hard Transformers fans, Rise of the Dark Spark brings nothing new to the table. [September 2014, p72]

Bland, lacklustre and devoid of excitement. Expect it to hit nothing but net as it lands in your local bargain bin. [January 2014, p77]

The good looks of most JRPGs will be in some way anime-influenced, but Time and Eternity is flat-out anime that you play. With that comes the often cringe-worthy plotting of the latterday art form, too.[September 2013, p77]

This was an ambitious production, but it boils down to sluggish platforming and repetitive fetch quests. [June 2010 p78]

From the first mission to the last, J.A.S.F. is left to rot by the arcadey and capable Ace Combat for sheer thrills, embarrassed by the variety of missions offered in H.A.W.X. 2, and technically outperformed by the more serious IL-2 Sturmovik. [February 2012, p.76]

Poorly presented and boring. Little difference between each mode.[April 2013, p78]

In the movie Skyfall, James Bond is accidentally shot off the top of a train as he pursues a bad guy and falls into a river below. All the stages in 007 Legends are the spy's sort-of memories of previous missions as he plummets into the river, all based on previous films. Honestly, he'd be better off being totally knocked out. 007 Legends is awful. [Christmas 2012, p.82]

Enemies are flat-out dumb. On more than a dozen occasions we left Perseus (not voiced by Sam Worthington) standing in front of a foe, completely inert. He stood there for so long, not being attacked, that he sheathed his sword and stared back at the dullard in front of him. It took 18 seconds before anything happened. [August 2010 p78]

It’s a shame Ace Banana can be so flustering, because there is a decent shooting gallery to unpeel here. [January 2016, p76]

Painkiller Hell & Damnation is a short, unattractive beast that will sink its claws into you if you give it half a chance. But be warned: it could also be a throwback that may fly right over the head of a modern FPS gamer. [September 2013, p76]

Nowhere near ripe enough to consume. Just a big ol' bale of boredom. [December 2013, p78]

Yawn of the dead, people. Buggier than a petrol station sausage roll and it’ll give you the shits for much longer. [January 2015, p73]

There are more immediate giggles to be had in the Story Mode, which is rib-tickling to wade through, although "wade" is definitely the word. It really just boils down to running around dodging either projectiles or up-close Family Guy caricatures, like angry college guys with deadly melee bongs. Then you either cap 'em or bash 'em, and maybe collect a few things while being funneled towards your next inane but comical goal. [January 2013, p72]

In 20 palette-swapped stages you’ll need to awkwardly flap your way through rings, whilst managing a stamina bar. Horrific collision detection abounds and you’ll spend more time in the wings watching load screens than getting airborne. [September 2013, p80]

It's fitting that the developers are called Mastiff, because this game looks like a dog's breakfast. Each mission is a waterlogged shamble through the land that time and PS2 forgot, where you'll have to re-kill the same six simpletons over and over. [February 2012, p.75]

After the last two Iron Man games we're honestly not even sure why anybody bothered. [July 2011 p.83]

There is no way this antiquated nobody is worth this much of your money and attention. [February 2014, p82]

Umbrella Corps is basically its subject matter: an experiment that became a hideous-looking horror that does more harm to the company name than good. [September 2016, p77]

Inoffensive busy-work for the ankle-biters. Nothing more. Nothing less. [December 2013, p81]

There's a difference between a game that is wacky and a game that is wack. Kung Fu Rider desperately tries to be the former but winds up being the latter. [November 2010 p67]

We desperately wanted to give Damnation the benefit of the doubt, but everything about it just feels wrong. You need to do far better than this to cut the mustard. [July 2009, p.82]

This four-player top-down shooter is a one-note type of game, an ear-shattering drone of gunfire punctuated with occasional soundbites. You're on the ground, shooting guys. Then you're in a chopper, shooting guys. The repetition and lack of character kills any hope the XP system had for making this brown square of a game engaging. Play alone and suffer the AI. Play with mates and... actually, don't. [October 2012, p79]

It almost feels as though developer Terminal Reality ran out of money, right on the home stretch. If only the game was shot in the head long before it ever got to that point. [June 2013, p79]

On the topic of being rushed, this game was, to shelves. The combat isn’t fluid, collision detection is spotty, and we frequently got trapped in floors. [Christmas 2013, p83]

Declassified feels like a disappointing DLC bundle rather than a full release. In its best moments it proves that Call of Duty could work on the console, and it has some good ideas – earning XP across single-player for multiplayer unlocks is particularly neat – but it's exceptionally hard to justify how this ended up with a $70 price tag. The very best PS Vita games have proven that, in the portable market, size can still matter. This lesson has, ironically, been ignored by gaming's biggest franchise. [January 2013, p76]

This Hawk has had its wings clipped to the point where it resembles an ugly-looking, flightless dodo that deserves its own extinction. [Christmas 2015, p74]

The vehicle handling is awful, the graphics are rudimentary and the soundtrack is a three-riff wonder. Keep your cash and avoid. [May 2012, p80]

Made with Ho Chi Minimal budget and effort. A 'crapocalypse now' that left us with PTSD. [September 2014, p79]

Basement Crawl is aptly named – for that's where it belongs, packed away in a dusty box. [May 2014, p76]

Rogue Warrior isn't a complete fiasco. We tried to like it, but it just wasn't worth releasing. [Feb 2010, p.73]

War may be hell, but it’s not as bad as this ugly, unbalanced, short excuse for a rail-shooter. [April 2014, p72]

If you take only three sentences away from this review, let them be the next ones. Fast & Furious: Showdown is a cash-in that somebody didn’t use half their arse to create – they used one quarter of a buttcheek. The box may look pretty, but the disc inside is like a HD update of Burnout’s beta code. Like, the PS2 [August 2013, p80]

At some point during the development any wit and/or charm the series had left was quietly escorted out of the building and shot. [Sept 2009, p.67]

If The Last of Us is gaming’s Citizen Kane moment, this is its Plan 9 From Outer Space. [September 2013, p73]

Push beyond the first world and the erratic difficulty spike (thankfully you can skip stages and come back to them) and you'll have fun with Voodoo Dice. It's a welcome distraction from the currently slew of action titles, though not an essential one. [September 2010 p79]

Happy Feet Two may not be as broadly appealing as its Lego co-op competition, but is a decent kid's movie tie-in. Certainly much better than the first game, as KMM's attachment to the IP shows. [February 2012, p.78]

It has a lengthy runtime for the asking price, but it's basically a trap laced with nostalgia, and is only fun in very, very short bursts. To paraphrase Maverick's commander, we think many of you would rather fly a cargo plane full of rubber dogshit out of Hong Kong than finish this. [May 2012, p74]

It'll put your reflexes and your memory to the test. Addictive. [June 2012, p 81]

Along with an overreliance on stick waggling, Sixaxis tilting features frequently and it's shoehorned in at crucial points in the proceedings. As you can imagine, it's frustrating, inaccurate stuff and can only be avoided if you set the game to the easiest difficulty 'Instant Fun'. Which is a lie. [August 2012, p80]

Shaky camera work is the mortal enemy of the on-rails shooter, and it raises its ugly head far too often here. [September 2012, p75]

The camera work is tight on this rollercoaster, and the generous unlockable content makes this feel like much more of a love letter to fans. [September 2012, p75]

Ugly to look at and tiring to play. The real thing is much better. [September 2012, p75]

The default end-to-end camera is still a massive pain when it switches for an intercept. Players, most notably the FRF and 2RF, love to drift out of position and hang out on the wings. Also, while expanded controls are welcomed, the game mishandles them – you'll punch walls when any tackle before an intercept gets interpreted as a grubber kick after you gain possession. [December 2012, p75]

If you're desperate for some dungeon dwelling, get a PS2 and play Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance. We know the process of eBaying that equipment is going to be a pain, but we guarantee you it'll be less of a pain than playing this. [Christmas 2012, p.75]

Basic to look at, but totally delivers bite-sized sessions. Tough, too. [Christmas 2012, p.83]

Keep an eye on Thomas Hopper, he’s the digital devil. His latest platformer will put a serious dent in your free time and leave your scalp with pockets of bald patches. [May 2013, p77]

A tidy PS Mobile title who’s only crime is repetition. Loads of fun. [April 2013, p78]

Whip-quick thrills from a homegrown dev. Check it out. [March 2013, p80]

A bold and innovative reboot of a classic, but definitely geared for the hardcore. [June 2013, p76]

Casual egg-chasers who played the predecessor could sidestep this and not miss much. But those of you hard-headed types with ears too cauliflowered to hear our warnings will probably buy it regardless. [August 2013, p77]

Spiders has been ambitious here but the team’s budget restraints and questionable writing hold Mars: War Logs back. Even with one’s ‘go underdogs!’ hat on, this Martian sand-fest offers less true grit than it does constant chafing. [August 2013, p75]

Tries to be charmingly hard, but the design simply does not match the vision. [August 2013, p76]

In the end, Pacific Rim: The Videogame feels like a trap. It’s designed to lure in the casuals, offer them the barebones framework of a fighting game, and drown them with a tsunami’s worth of paid DLC options. [September 2013, p79]

R.I.P.D.: The Game is basically Atlus’ previous released game, God Mode, stripped of its more interesting features and re-skinned by an intern. It’s an aggressively boring, disastrously ugly, barely-functional mess that will make the majority of those who play it feel dead inside. [September 2013, p79]

You’re looking at an insanely simplistic sidescrolling platformer with a handful of power-ups and ‘special skilled’ Smurfs to swap through. Doing our due diligence, we road-tested this with a six and a nine-year-old. After 30 minutes, they wanted to go play outside. Says it all, really. [October 2013, p83]

The lead’s voice actor is completely miscast with all of the depth and nuance of an English dubbed 1980s Jackie Chan movie, the story doesn’t engage you at all and its telling is plodding and laboured. Let this experience slip from your mind and… Fade to Black. [November 2013, p82]

If you’re yet to buy yourself a FIFA game on the Vita, then you probably don’t see the problem in all this. But even still, we’d recommend you just go out and buy yourself last year’s game and save 20 bucks. [December 2013, p80]

An uninspired, inexpensive stocking filler. Nothing more. [December 2013, p83]

Generic shooter whose epic bugs are not limited to its alien antagonists.[Christmas 2013, p81]

Given how unfriendly the steering is in Hot Wheels: World’s Best Driver, you should take its subtitle very seriously. Nobody, short of a vehicular virtuoso without global equal can keep these cars in a straight line. [Christmas 2013, p81]

A painfully generic puzzler that tries nothing new, outstays its welcome. [March 2014, p81]

A fun dexterity test deepened by its clever use of perspective. [March 2014, p81]

PlayStation owners didn't get this on console for a decade. We didn't miss much. [May 2014, p83]

Solo players might enjoy this, as long as they don't stray online. [June 2014, p82]

Probably should have kept to the arcades, but worth a look if you've got the extra coin. [July 2014, p82]

Polished and super addictive if you're a Tony Hawk's tragic or a leaderboard troll. [October 2014, p82]

Even the hardcore will be sorely tested by this. [December 2014, p78]

To the right crowd, hilarious. But overpriced and kinda stupid for everybody else. [Christmas 2014, p75]

The now-gen survival horror revolution's here – and it only took 8 bits to get us there. [Christmas 2014, p77]

If you're desperate for the roster updates, buy it. Everybody else, don't touch. [Christmas 2014, p77]

Yes, RCR is back, as big and gloriously cheesy-bad as ever. Everything’s been tweaked, honed and maximised. There’s more chiptunes, better this, better that, all available via PSN for under 20 bucks. Look, it’s just better, right? [January 2015, p69]

Rugby 15 is messier than a Jackson Pollock painting and even buggier than Mimic. Pass. [Feb 2015, p75]

EDF fans may “BFD” but it's beaut for bug blatters of a strategic bent. [Feb 2015, p79]

It doesn't add much to what's familiar about Monopoly, but it's a faithful adaptation. [Feb 2015, p81]

With more oven time this could have been that novelty birthday cake you always wanted but never got as a child. Instead it's just a muffin of disappointment. [March 2015, p76]

A serviceable attempt at polishing up an antique. Controls are still wonky. Visual presentation is more up and down than that pesky zombie who just won’t die. [February 2015, p76]