[W]e put the controller down (during a 'gameplay' sequence) and watched in stunned frustration as the game continued on happily playing itself for six minutes. It's inconceivable that there are gameplay levels that cannot be failed or be changed by your actions. Even Dragon's Lair, the game that birthed the concept 29 years ago, had consequences. [April 2012, p66]

Put the time into it and get used to its unconventional controls and it’ll eventually wriggle its way into your heart. [July 2017, p72]

Ignore the lure of this worm and certainly don't wriggle over to buy it. This is a trap. [December 2013, p83]

A mess in need of a thorough overhaul. [July 2009, p.81]

Do the right thing and get spiritual sequel Dying Light, plus all its DLC, instead. [September 2016, p75]

Captain America: Super Soldier is rudimentary gaming at its worst, a tired old melange of linear corridor crawling and basic brawling. It's utterly unsatisfying. That the whole thing weighs in at a squidge over four hours only further sabotages any shred of quality that managed to smuggle itself into the final game. Don't play this. [September 2011 p76]

Grey, old, and well beyond retirement, KOF XII is irredeemable. [Oct 2009, p.74]

Good grief, this game. Does anybody know if PSN purchases are refundable? [October 2014, p79]

Welcome to brown town, ladies and gents. Escape is impossible. [August 2012]

A decent PS3 game swung low enough to limbo under our already low expectations. [February 2014, p82]

Though Sports Bar conveys a convincing sense of space, any sense of immersion is nuked from orbit by wonky physics and jittery motion tracking. [January 2016, p76]

It’s so relentlessly odd that you’ll crack the occasional grin, but otherwise this is – by some distance – a series low. [October 2016, p76]

For all its many faults, the script does at least make a valiant effort of recognising and explaining the politics of war and propaganda. That doesn’t change the fact that there’s an army of games more worthy of your money. [October 2017, p75]

Features; criminally stupid AI, rehashed enemies, ear-defiling voice acting and paint-by-numbers levels. This is 'so bad it's bad' gaming. [May 2012, p81]

Painfully dull, both in looks and entertainment factor. Only the die-hard purists can forgive this ugly, buggy mess. [September 2014, p80]

All told, Jurassic Park: The Game may be marketed to you as a new-age Dino Crisis and a wild ride, but in reality it plays more like John Hammond's dinosaur tour as it was originally intended. You're locked on a linear track and inelegantly chauffeured through dino dioramas that you'll have close to zero interaction with. The tour grinds to a halt for the occasional toilet break (read: light puzzle moments), but once that business is dispensed with, you're escorted back to your proverbial jeep on a scalextric track and the tour limps on. [January 2012, p.77]

Whether you invested in the Kickstarter campaign, it’s hard to imagine this aggressively inadequate Mega Man “follow-up” leaving anyone satisfied. [September 2016, p73]

A misguided farce. Offensive. [Oct 2009, p.75]

A lame attempt at bringing parody to the world of gaming. Avoid. [Nov 2008, p.100]

Cack-handed. [May 2009, p.67]

Any good racer offers either a sense of speed or a sense of control, but Carmageddon fails to provide either. [October 2016, p78]

Bodycount is a thoroughly boring ride that won't challenge your reflexes or intelligence. Ironically, the fact that this takes under four hours to get through is the best thing going for it. [October 2011 p75]

God knows why you’d want to invest in this crap, however. A match consists of mashing triangle to overcome an uninspired selection of bland nobodies. Thumbs down, we say. [October 2013, p83]

Absolutely terrible. It's simply broken. [Christmas 2008, p.92]

Trite, boring and not at all compelling. Don't even bother waiting for it to hit the bargain bin, just leave it to rot. [April 2012, p77]

Not broken, just painfully, awfully average and repetitive. Offensive, too. [September 2014, p75]

With licensed movie tie-ins comes no responsibility. [July 2014, p79]

As it is, you’re merely left with a badly scraped old junker. Combat may offer passing pleasures, but in every other respect, this is more devolution than revolution. [August 2016, p66]