A work of sulky blandness that does itself no favors by latching onto better games and cooler vampires. [ Nov 2013, p.68]

Overly simplistic gameplay, repetitive jumping puzzles, and all-in-all monotony. [Sept 2003, p.97]

My biggest complaint is that you can't design your own stores: you have to use one of the four ultra-bland pre-fabricated designs. [May 2002, p.69]

Only "Evil Dead" diehards need apply. If you're looking for "Resident Evil," buy the original. [July 2001, p.64]

Driv3r's broken gameplay mechanics are just too significant to overlook. Ultimately, they turn this high-budget vehicular shooter into a mediocre "GTA" clone with two flat tires. [June 2005, p.69]

It's simply an average two-bit thug. [Aug 2007, p.63]

And the mundane levels have been stretched out with keycard hunts, mile-high ladders, and endless corridors. [June 2005, p.72]

We saw plenty of good action/adventures in the year 2000. This wasn't one of them. [Mar 2001, p.82]

It's a spectacular disaster, which feels like a rarity these days: there are lots of bad games, but for a game that was announced at E3 and made by a major publisher and studio to be this catastrophic is something.

Bargain bins are overflowing with shooters that are oldies-but-goodies. This one's a newbie-but-crappy. [July 2005, p.65]

If there's one thing that blows chunks more than a bad console-to-PC port, it's a recycled low-budget PC game that's past its due. [Oct. 2006, p.58]

Events unfold inexplicably, unrealistically, and almost arbitrarily. [June 2002, p.69]

While not a total disaster, [it] barely even offers cosmetic upgrades to the 2000 version's incredibly dull gameplay format. [Oct 2003, p.112]

This isn't a bad console port--it's a bad game, period. [June 2008, p.74]

A sentence of 25 to Life lasts only six to seven hours if played on medium difficulty. [Apr 2006, p.51]

Even Abermore's cult of beetle worshippers would draw the line at this many bugs.

Not much of a party game. [Apr 2003, p.103]

The worst part is the voice acting. [Dec 2009, p.77]

Apart from its bonus Exploration option(a travelogue mode where you can hop to the island's prettier locales), Anacapri: The Dream is as compelling as cold espresso. [Dec 2007, p.76]

The action would be passable if it were buoyed by a compelling story, but I ain't gripped so far. [2-Hour Impressions]

Tycoon games just don't stop coming, and the fun doesn't end in this java-themed budget title. [Dec. 2006, p.122]

Good grief--I could buy Half-Life 2 with that $10. [Aug 2011, p.76]

For all its many flaws, LOTR: Gollum is an oft-beautiful and oddly endearing adventure.

The laborious mechanics of control and observance make "gameplay" feel much too random. [Jan 2003, p.100]

Dated graphics, poor AI, buggy gameplay, cumbersome controls, and uninspired design choices make playing Conquest an exasperating experience. [July 2008, p.64]

Frustrating, buggy and overly dependent on trial-and-error, this is a missed opportunity.

The moral of the story is, if you're looking for a half-decent real-time strategy game, skip Left Behind. [Feb. 2007, p.66]

Gearheads may be temporarily amused, but for the rest of us, Monster Garage delivers about as much entertainment value as a fender-bender with a Hell's Angel. [July 2004, p.65]