Enough to make Blackbeard retire. [Dec 2012, p.97]

A functional if predictable four-player beat 'em up. Does everything you'd expect from a Turtles game, but nothing more. [April 2006, p.88]

Guilty pleasure - with emphasis on guilty. [Oct 2010, p.111]

A dated and repetitive shooter. [July 2007, p.105]

Two above-average games receive a sadly below-average port. [Oct 2015, p.86]

Perfect for quick blasts of fun. [Jan 2010, p.112]

Overall, though, with its fundamentally flawed handling, glitchy physics and a tendency for the game to just play itself, Sonic Riders is a huge disappointment. [April 2006, p.84]

This is never going to be the game that sets the world alight or is a critical success - but it is far from a cheap cash in like many party games, and might just prove the right direction for Rare's misjudged franchise.

Turgid storytelling, poorly explained mechanics and abysmally unoptimised code. [Sept 2017, p.86]

A terribly slim idea for a game, with none of the slick execution, elegant scoring or busy leaderboards to make you want to improve, or even bother trying again. [May 2014, p.93]

Pretty ugly, but it has a nice personality. [Sept 2008, p.84]

It's not entirely run-of-the-mill. [Aug 2008, p.85]

Sadly, we've Scene It all before. [Apr 2010, p.107]

Sloppy effort. Such as disappointment. [Sept 2007, p.104]

Shrek the turd, more like. [Sept 2007, p.106]

Somehow Dynasty Warriors 9 fails to meet even the lowest expectations.

Speeder Bikes are unresponsive to the point of fury, and the one-on-one duels don't respond to your attacks in anywhere near as satisfying a way as the exploding droids. The assault courses are fine, but easily rehearsed, and there's nothing in this game that convinces me that anyone making it thought it was actually a good idea. There are flashes of inspiration that make it genuinely likeable - but it fails, and hard, as a forty pound game.

The result is that the game's flow shudders and starts - a ponderous affair punctuated by sudden bouts of extremely messy and imprecise combat.

You're expected to know who these characters are, you're expected to know why certain plot twists are a big deal and you're expected to be excited when a character from Zeta Gundam interacts with one from Turn-A Gundam.

Another failed idea is the ability to pick up items littering the different districts and use them as weapons. [June 2007, p.93]

"it's for fans" isn't a good enough excuse. [Christmas 2011, p.105]

Crimson Dragon entertains most when it's the power fantasy it wants to be - when you're mopping up streams of curious beasts from an early level, with credits and items flying into your backpack as you 100% a level. When you're beset, besieged, and bullied by streams of incoming missiles, you feel cheated rather than challenged, and the beckoning gem shop makes the process feel dirty.

A puzzler homage to Portal that’s arguably better to read than it is to actually play. [Issue#186, p.83]

A monotonous one-note brawler. [Apr 2013, p.87]

Old, tired and uninspired. [Jan 2008, p.99]

The tennis is good when your'e in a match. You feel like you're really in control of the game thanks to the array of shots at your disposal, but the pace of it and the euthanasia-like tedium of the Pro Tour will put most players off after half an hour. [Aug 2008, p.84]

The gameplay is riddled with bug-induced frustration, uninspiring combat and a sluggish control system that lacks any kind of invention. [Mar 2007, p.88]

Funny at times, but not a lot of fun to play, metal wolf chaos feels too much like a relic. [Issue#182, p.85]