Thunderously dumb combat in an endless succession of technically borked corridors. [Nov 2011, p.65]

It's well intentioned but underfunded. [Christmas 2009, p.64]

In short, you should avoid this like a bear hug from Doc Octopus. [Dec 2011, p.74]

Too hard for kids and too dull for adults. [Apr 2011, p.75]

The Manual Mode is so madly uncontrollable that it isn't an option, making the only real option clicking on Auto and going off to make a cup of tea. [Nov 2006, p.77]

Survive the frustration and it'll soon be replaced by boredom, leaving you feeling like you really have just had your time stolen. [Oct 2011, p.70]

An interesting attempt to recreate a dance game on a touch screen, but far too fiddly to be fun. [Feb 2012, p.100]

Laziness and ineptitude. Show's over, people. [Aug 2010, p.67]

These 'innovations' result in a game that's staggeringly boring. [Christmas 2011, p.77]

This repetitive title somehow manages to make dinos seem dull. [May 2011, p.56]

The presentation's pretty ropey too. [Dec 2008, p.76]

Unoriginal get competent platforming, dismal vehicle interludes. Devoid of fresh ideas. [Dec 2011, p.68]

The game chugs harder than Captain Haddock at a distillery. [Dec 2011, p.75]

We suspect even very young gamers would rather have the Jaffa Cakes for their birthday as well. [Oct 2010, p.65]

Instead of giving you the game disc, the sales assistant could open the box and curl out a steaming log in there, and you'd have almost as much fun playing with it. [Dec 2008, p.56]

Buy a comic instead. [Christmas 2010, p.60]

Worse than Pele's impotence advert. [Dec 2009, p.67]

We reckon most kids won't be scared stiff by the monsters here - they'll be bored rigid. [Feb 2009, p.77]

Imagine "Ninjabread Man" with all the cakes taken out and replaced by musical stuff. Congratulations - you've just invented Rock 'N Roll Adventures! [Christmas 2007, p.65]

There's very little incentive to keep going. So, er, we didn't. [Dec 2009, p.71]

There's less meat on this than a turkey carcass after Boxing Day. [Feb 2009, p.68]

Very basic platform game with a promising lead character. Not actually awful but it's overpriced at 20 pounds and a little frustrating for younger players. [Christmas 2007, p.65]

A flimsy mess. [Christmas 2009, p.70]

"Quotation Forthcoming"

They didn't get their heads around the stylus. [Winter 2009, p.70]

Without online play, this falls way behind other poker games. Thrill-seekers will be gravely disappointed. [Apr 2007, p.50]

Target audience includes sniggering schoolboys, students and journalists. [May 2012, p.99]

Painful to play alone, this is best endured with friends or lots of beer. [May 2012, p.99]