George of the Jungle is basic at its best and irritatingly flawed at its worst, relying almost entirely on its license to sell to an audience perhaps unaware of the genre’s past glories.

The Last Prophecy? I bloody well hope so.

All the pedigree and ideas are here to make Hammer & Sickle a veritable feast of turn-based feast action. Unfortunately they’re all lost in a flawed and poorly executed example of cashing in on past glory.

Aurora Watching is rubbish – don’t even think about buying it.

As it is, X-Men: The Official Game is "officially" a horse's turd of an experience that's approximately as painful as Wolverine's claws inadvertently sliding out while he's wiping his arse.

It’s hard for us not to come away from a session of Samurai Warriors (or frankly any Warriors game right now) without the words ‘time’, ‘of’, ‘waste’, ‘fat’ and ‘big’ crossing our minds, but there you have it. The words ‘boring’, ‘repetitive’, ‘uninspiring’ and even ‘ugly’ are not far behind.

As it is, X-Men: The Official Game is “officially” a horse’s turd of an experience that’s approximately as painful as Wolverine’s claws inadvertently sliding out while he’s wiping his arse.

As it is, X-Men: The Official Game is “officially” a horse’s turd of an experience that’s approximately as painful as Wolverine’s claws inadvertently sliding out while he’s wiping his arse.

As it is, X-Men: The Official Game is "officially" a horse's turd of an experience that's approximately as painful as Wolverine's claws inadvertently sliding out while he's wiping his arse.

As it is, X-Men: The Official Game is “officially” a horse’s turd of an experience that’s approximately as painful as Wolverine’s claws inadvertently sliding out while he’s wiping his arse.

There’s a few hours of play in it, but no real fun. L.A. Duel is blander than a petrol station sandwich, but thankfully less likely to leave you blowing chunks by the side of the road.

Underneath all the tedium, the bones of a very basic business simulation can be found, but there’s a lot of joyless digging to be done to get to it. We’re not entirely sure who will actually enjoy Playboy: The Mansion, as the business side is unsatisfying, the networking is mind-numbing, and the sex is a sad cop out.

A lot of the good intentions in Psychotoxic are just lost in the mess of it all. We might have recommended the story to fans of sci-fi B-movies, but frankly after a few interesting cut-scenes the story goes absolutely nowhere for hours before wrapping-up in a not-entirely-satisfying manner.

Save yourself the money and just shake your wii-mote randomly and violently, shout quotes from the series and cry softly to yourself in the corner for an hour afterwards – you’ll look less like an idiot and have just as much fun.

Overall, this whole package seems held together with a cheap sticky-tack feeling that just leaves us wanting to cry.

The limited gameplay with an atmosphere that is completely spoiled by some deviously frustrating design and lazy pathing leads to an experience that for most will be flat and lifeless.

Just plain dreadful...There was only ever a faint hope it wouldn’t be as bad as "The Simpsons Skateboarding" or that "Futurama" game, but it is.

You might be more interested to know what Driv3r isn’t though – a good game.

For the sake of the video game industry, don't buy Goldeneye: Rogue Agent. It's a benchmark for bad ideas badly implemented.

Just like the game’s music, UberSoldier is annoying and depressing. Almost every aspect aside from the game’s visuals is amateurish and badly made, right down to the overactive physics engine, which allows you to explode the glass in windows and push heavy tables over by just brushing by them.

The music’s nice though, and at least it looks good.

As a combat swansong for the PS2 it holds no merit whatsoever and shows how bad games can get when a company just doesn’t seem to care any more. It’s not the worst fighting game ever, but it’s certainly close.

Plain and simple: if you buy Dynasty Warriors 5: Empires, you’re saying it’s ok for this lame excuse for a video game series to continue dragging everything else down with it. It’s even less amusing than it used to be now that it’s infecting next-gen consoles.

There’s just no valid excuse for buying Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 when you could just as easily pop down to a sex shop and buy an R18 DVD, go online and scour the adult sites or just spend your money on a proper videogame.

Superman Returns: The Videogame is an embarrassment to video games, not to mention the Superman franchise, and is a new low for the quality of movie tie-ins.

We really do have to implore you, don’t let your curiosity get the better of you. Bad Day L.A. is dire.

Littered with slowdown, needless cut-scenes and droll monotonous play, Iron Man is as disappointing an effort as Sega has published in its entire history.

Littered with slowdown, needless cut-scenes and droll monotonous play, Iron Man is as disappointing an effort as Sega has published in its entire history.