Hey Poor Player's Scores

  • Games
For 1,720 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 12% same as the average critic
  • 39% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Game review score: 74
Highest review score: 100 The Talos Principle 2
Lowest review score: 20 The Lord of the Rings - Gollum
Score distribution:
1720 game reviews
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    If you’ve ever wondered “what’s the absolute bare minimum exercise I can do in a video game” Burnit Quest might be the answer you’re looking for. This is probably the best video game for people who have all the excuses in the world not to workout but should really just get up and move for a few minutes throughout the day (AKA, me). Although I do wish the controls were less clunky when it comes to punching and jumping, I feel like I got what I came for, which is some decent cardio in-between my real-life work meetings. If you’re looking for an exercise video game to jumpstart your fitness in a seriously undemanding way, Burnit Quest will help you pick up the pace.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Braking Point 2.0 does offer some solid (if sometimes cringe-inducing) drama, the driving mechanics and presentation continue to impress, and generally, to an outlier, this is one fabulous F1 game. However, resting on your laurels only gets you so far, and F1 23 has failed to move the needle in regards to making F1 games even more compelling than they already are. By all means, pick up and relish another core EA and Codemasters F1 outing, but it's time the series stopped playing it safe and gave us something audaciously new.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Chasing Static dials in a unique spin on the psychological horror genre with its lo-fi visuals and focus on sonic exploration. I only wish there was more substance to go along with its excellent sense of style. With more compelling puzzles to solve and a greater variety of locations to explore, it'd be a lot easier to recommend adding this one to your library. Even though the writing has its moments, the story ends so abruptly that it likely won't stick with you long after the credits roll. If you're a die-hard fan of horror games from the 32-bit era or are looking for a fresh twist on the genre, Chasing Static just might be worth tuning into. However, those in search of more substantial scares would probably be better off changing the station.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    I’ve really enjoyed some of DON’T NOD’s games and found a lot to love in Harmony: The Fall of Reverie. Beautiful art, a fantastic soundtrack, two interesting worlds, and an intricately designed system designed to really make your choices matter are all worth exploring. Ultimately though, thinly drawn characters and too often feeling like I was being forced down a specific path instead of getting to enjoy the choices the game is designed around kept me from falling in love with Harmony.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Whether the combat is a deal breaker for the average player is going to depend on how much they value everything that Toyama and his team at Bokeh Studios have got right. For this writer, the answer to that conundrum is that, on the whole, Slitterhead’s positives do outweigh its negatives. It feels like Toyama is untethered again, and while not every design choice has worked out for the best, the fact that we have the horror legend operating independently and willing to create something unlike anything else is something to be celebrated.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    While it’s true that Bend the Roo’les is a pretty affordable experience and one that’s easier to recommend, it still has its share of problems, both in terms of glitches and bugs, but also in terms of unbalanced game design. But if you still want to take your chances and spend more time in the Kao the Kangaroo universe, you might still find some limited enjoyment here.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    I wanted Kapital: Sparks of Revolution to continue running with the city-survival genre that Frostpunkput into place, and while it is definitely the relaxing, low-stress city-builder of my dreams, it is not the difficult experience it markets itself as. You may struggle for the first hour or two before really settling into a utopian paradise, but you will get to that point of smooth sailing sooner or later. For a game about revolution, the only thing revolutionary here is how chill it is; Kapital: Sparks of Revolution is fun and addicting, but it’s hardly the stressful city-survival simulator it tries to be. I’m more than okay with that, but are you?
    • 70 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    GEX Trilogy is ultimately a good collection of the main GEX games, but it’s not a very good game because none of the games it collects are very fun. Those with nostalgia for the character will surely find some enjoyment in revisiting his adventures after all these years, but anyone who didn’t enjoy the character twenty five years ago will be better served checking out the many better platformers available on modern platforms.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Rematch may not be the most complex game ever, but it offers a unique take on multiplayer football, which, with the right team, can be an enormously fun time, at least when things work. Currently, however, there are too many issues, and the community has too little interest in playing the game correctly for me to recommend it to most. If you have a crew of friends who all want to play together and love the sport, then it becomes an easier game to recommend, but most players may want to wait and see what updates Sloclap has planned for Rematch’s future before jumping in.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    As a fan of the indie and rogue-like scene, I really wanted to enjoy Morsels more. But I also can’t bring myself to say a game is better than it is. My hope is that Furcula finds a way to tweak and dramatically improve the game experience in future content updates. But until then, this is one rogue-like that won’t be making a lot of fans.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Monster Harvest is part of a growing genre that tries to combine farming sims like Harvest Moon with creature collecting like Pokemon. Unfortunately, by trying to cram as many different mechanics as possible into one tiny title, Monster Harvest pared them down to their basest level in an effort to offer a nibble of many things but never a filling feast. As for the bugs it launched with, those will soon be addressed with promised patches, but when it comes to gameplay, Monster Harvest still feels like it needs a little more time to grow. A lot more depth on all fronts will turn this garden variety game into a bumper crop; with enough time, I have faith the developers will find the balance Monster Harvest needs to achieve greatness.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    I know I sound like I’m being hard on The Shadow You, but that’s only cause I see the potential for it to be something better. I do admire Topchan Games for what they obviously accomplished with a limited budget. And they definitely succeeded in the horror parts of the game. Perhaps if they can invest more time and care into their writing and focus more on their horror, their next game could be outstanding. As things sit now, The Shadow You is a promising game held back by its narrative. If nothing else, it’s a short and inexpensive experience. I managed to get the True ending in about 4 hours, and that’s only because I got lost in a couple of puzzles. Horror fans might still find something worthwhile here, warts and all.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Lost at Sea is the story of a woman desperately trying to keep her head above water in an overwhelming ocean of emotions. But it’s also the story of a game that is perhaps not entirely sure of what it’s trying to accomplish. It’s hard to face your fears when they send you right back to the beginning, thwarting your progress on a cumbersome island. It’s clearly not the next Myst, but it’s not like it’s trying to be. I’m not saying don’t get the game, but I’m not exactly saying you should get it either. One thing’s for certain: Lost at Sea is made from the heart.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    I’m sure Space Crew will be enjoyable for plenty of people out there, but I spent too much of my time either frustrated with complicated controls or bored by monotonous missions.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    I’m not sure these games are quite up to carrying this package. Dragon Breed is still a fun game and worth playing, while Mr. Heli is an interesting time capsule that I’m glad I checked out, but neither of these is a lost classic that modern players desperately need to play. They range from fine to pretty good, but that’s only enough to recommend Irem Collection Volume 3 to big fans of the genre.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    The Life is Strange Remastered Collection offers you an excellent game and another, which is a lot of fun if you’re invested in its characters. They’re well worth playing. The question is more about whether this collection is the way you want to do so. Despite the improved visuals and animations not quite making this the definitive version in every way, things are solid enough that if given any way to do so, I’d probably choose these versions. Despite that, this is a great example of titles that simply didn’t need to be remastered. For fans of the series, it offers nothing that makes them worth revisiting, or even upgrading from the versions that are already out there. If you have another way to check out Max and Chloe’s stories, just play those instead.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Fire Shark is still a ton of fun, and when you’re fully powered up with your weapon of choice and blasting through some of the game’s difficult bosses, it can feel like a fantastic example of the genre. The highs here are indeed high. However, certain design choices don’t work for me, and I came away from Fire Shark actually preferring its predecessor. While it may not be able to match Fire Shark’s best moments, it offers a more consistently fun experience from start to finish. That said, if you want a truly great challenge then make sure to check Fire Shark out.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Greak: Memories of Azur has a lot going for it. I just wish that its core concept of controlling three characters at the same time worked better. Too often, instead of being helpful, your siblings just end up getting in the way. If you can look past these sections, though, you’ll find a beautiful game with some great puzzles and a lot of heart.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Overall, the experience of Port Royale 4 ends up feeling stretched a little thin.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Prinny 1•2: Exploded and Reloaded is not my cup of tea, which is sad given how much I wanted to enjoy it. I always appreciate a challenging platformer when said challenge is approached in a fair manner. Still, there’s no getting past the fact that both of these penguin-packed platformers thrive on doing little more than punishing the player without giving them much notice. I know that there’s a fanbase for these kinds of games, and if you’re among them, then this is right up your alley. However, for those who don’t want to become a punching bag for the game that you’re playing, you should look elsewhere.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue has some issues, but it also has its fair share of moments where it really shines. I adore the protagonist and the world she inhabits, their charm and personality untouched by the devastating flames. I enjoy the game’s unique concept and gameplay, a completely new experience in both the 2D platforming and roguelike genres. So while the mechanics might not be the most finely-tuned at the moment and the learning curve perhaps a bit steep, Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue has the potential to become better refined in the coming months. Firegirl: Hack ‘n Splash Rescue certainly brings the heat; after a few updates, it might be safe enough to go back into the kitchen.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    While its technical shortcomings are hard to ignore, there’s an undeniably solid shooter buried beneath Kingdom of the Dead‘s bumps and bruises. With fantastic presentation and a satisfying arsenal of weapons to wield, it’s a worthwhile throwback to a simpler time when monster closets were plentiful, and stopping to reload your guns was unheard of. If you’re a fan of DOS-era shooters and don’t mind a bit of jank, there are far worse ways to spend a weekend.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    With its unique twist on combat and a great sense of style, I went into Strayed Lights with high hopes. However, while its presentation and challenging parry-centric boss battles certainly shine brightly, its largely nonexistent story, a lack of enemy variety, and frequent crashes caused that light to fade well before the conclusion of its four-hour runtime. If you’re simply looking for a novel take on the action-adventure genre, maybe pick this one up once it goes on sale. For anyone else, Strayed Lights is tough to recommend.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Ultimately, those who do pick up Taito Milestones 2 will find some fun games included, but the best of these titles deserve more than such a barebones release.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Overall, Blackwind is a regrettably forgettable game. Unable to decide if it’s a twin-stick shooter or a hack-and-slash, with repetitive (and sometimes downright boring) level design, and cringe-inducing voice-acting, there’s little to recommend here. Honestly, the best way I can describe this game is in terms of food: Blackwind would be unflavored, plain oatmeal. Sure, it’s edible, but do you really want to eat it?
    • 63 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    So once again, I’ve tried another deckbuilder, only to come out disappointed. Three Kingdom: The Journey isn’t a terrible game, and there’s kernels of greatness that could grow into something much better. That will just depend on Senmu Studio putting in the time to fix the translation and tweak the game balance. Until that happens, this is just one of many frustrating deckbuilder experiences.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    Arashi: Castles of Sin had so much potential. With satisfying sneaking and a wide selection of interesting tools to use, it’s easy to recommend to fans of the genre or anyone who likes the idea of a VR version of Tenchu. It’s just a shame that the barebones swordplay makes what should have been the game’s most exciting moments feel like a repetitive slog. As it stands, it’s still a solid game. But with a bit more polish and refinement, it could have been so much more.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    I can’t pretend the glitches I encountered in 9 Years of Shadows weren’t frustrating, especially as a backer. I can only hope that Halberd Studios and Freedom Games take my complaints to heart and does everything they can to patch these problems as quickly as possible. Because underneath all the glitches, there’s a truly fantastic adventure, and one I still really enjoyed. If you’re a fan of Metroidvanias, definitely put this one on your wishlist. Just maybe wait on pulling the trigger until the developers have had a chance to make some necessary fixes.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    While it isn’t going to be an easy sell for many due to the difficulty spikes that arise in the form of its demanding bosses, I ultimately came away from Book Quest satisfied with the final product. Sure, it wasn’t the laid-back, Zelda-clone I was expecting and presented a challenge that came as a shock, but that was ultimately the best thing about it. If you can look past the, at times, inconsistent hitboxes, and frequent audio bugs, then Book Quest provides a satisfying evening’s worth of, at times, hardcore action that I hope finds an audience.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 60 Critic Score
    There are a ton of games in the Mega Man Battle Network Legacy Collection, but because the six titles have so little to differentiate them from each other, it’s hard to see anyone but the most hardcore of fans wanting to run through the entire series. I enjoyed revisiting these games from my youth but came away ready to leave them in the past. For those who just want to dip their toes in, Capcom has provided the option to purchase only the first or second half of the series separately instead of buying the entire larger collection. While it’s not quite as good of a deal on a per-game basis, for those who just want a quick nostalgia hit, that may be the way to go.

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