Also disappointing was the lack of any head-to-head or multi-player functionality; there's no unlockable content, either. The games themselves are monotonous and don't really instill you with a need to play them repeatedly.

This game just lacks in too many ways to cost this much. Should have just been a 400 point game.

Thor: God of Thunder looks terrible, plays poorly, and was obviously rushed out to market with no fine-tuning whatsoever. Considering that the DS version is so much better by comparison (along with the vastly superior free Flash title from Marvel Studios), I'm saddened that this game had to ever exist.

Leaving you with a bad taste in your mouth and an unwashable feeling of downright sleaziness, Onechanbara can be simulated by checking into a shady motel.

The scariest thing about this game is how awful it is.

Most of the casual crowd, even word search fans, would likely rather buy a book of puzzles for 99 cents or just find a free flash version. The rest would probably prefer to carry it around with them for long waits at the doctor's office.

A neck-stabbingly frustrating bore. [Apr 2004, p.86]

Most should pass on this one, but if your swimsuit area is specifically turned on by the scantily-clad ladies of DoA, then Paradise's brand of portable soft-porn may just do it for you.

In truth, the biggest mystery here isn't how vampires evolved and rose to power, but how any publisher could justify a $60 price tag for a tiresome exercise in imitation and slipshod execution.

Thor: God of Thunder looks terrible, plays poorly, and was obviously rushed out to market with no fine-tuning whatsoever. Considering that the DS version is so much better by comparison (along with the vastly superior free Flash title from Marvel Studios), I'm saddened that this game had to ever exist.

One of the most maddening problems is that each time you die (which happens a lot), you respawn at the beginning of the level. There is no continue option, and you can’t skip the-story-so-far screens.

It doesn't matter if you're a hardcore or casual fan: there's no magic to be seen here.

The simple act of turning around in Vengeance is more difficult than wiping out an entourage of baddies in clear view. Plus, jumping (lift the nunchuk) and operating vehicles is more annoying that doing a sink full of dirty dishes.

While the outrageous roller coaster inspired tracks and arcade-themed charm where enough to bring a smile to my face, Speed Zone's charm is inevitably overpowered by a lackluster control scheme and a barrage of all-to-frequent deaths.

Coupled with the terrible combat, the game is only 2 hours long.

In the end, though, Quantum Theory bears the terrible imprimatur of the also-ran. While it's a noble effort on Tecmo-Koei's part (this is, after all, their first foray into this genre), it just doesn't have that "oomph" that a killer action game hits you in the sensory cortex with.

The Xbox LIVE Vision Camera, used for many of the games, is a complete bust (surprise!) forcing players to rely on a sometimes baffling controller scheme.

The crummy gameplay combined with Frogger 2's deceiving graphics (kids will struggle with this game) and jab-a-screwdriver-into-your-ear music make this one of the worst titles available on XBLA.

Tamagotchi Party On! does not give me a single reason to recommend it to anyone. The game is impossible to play with a single player, but the absence of multiplayer mini-games makes this game a complete waste of time for the party gamer--not to mention that actually convincing someone to play this game with you will be a challenge.

By far, The Sum of All Fears for the GameCube is the most disappointing, if not one of the worst, first-person shooters on any system.

The game is also easy, and you will have no problem rushing through the eight skimpy levels in a matter of hours. Add in the simplistic combat that becomes repetitious very quickly, level designs devoid of creativity and the fact that you can't level up or gain new moves and you have one disaster worth skipping.

Everything about it is horrible: the writing, the illustration, the voice-acting -- everything.

Double D Dodgeball should be skipped. Certain gimmicks like skill shots and a variety of arenas do not add enough to warrant a purchase.

Add to this the fact that the total gameplay time (minus cut-scenes) clocks in at a measly two and a half hours, and this game is definitely only a weekend rental.

At 500 Wii Points, it's hard to recommend the title to anyone. Sexy Poker is one of those games that would be better served as a 99-cent iPhone app reserved for no more than novelty purposes.

There's really no good reason to suffer Valhalla Knights: Eldar Saga--it's ugly, broken, and seems hellbent on depriving you of fun at every opportunity. Even if you're hard up for a Wii RPG, you're better off skipping it and never looking back. Meanwhile, I'll be hearing those footsteps echoing endlessly in my nightmares.

The problem with Star Raiders is that it feels too bland.

Would you settle for Ozzie Canseco when you could get Jose Canseco for an extra dollar? Me neither. And because Arcade Essentials isn't able to pull off its lofty goal of modernizing five classic titles, this is one arcade you should walk right on by.