A rare combination of frustration and boredom. [Feb 2004, p.85]

The gameplay is not only less sophisticated but also far less soccer-like than either of the two serious alternatives on the market. [Feb 2005, p.89]

Great if you like beautifully rendered landscapes, not so great if you like good A.I. and usuable controls. [Sept 2004, p.72]

System-wide bugs, which range from the entertaining (my character did a jumping jack each time he left his office) to the annoying (pathfinding issues) to the aggravating (frequent desktop crashes). [Jan 2005, p.106]

A triple-Advil-migraine-inducing trip to the very bowels of hell. [August 2002, p.77]

Boss battles are so routine as to be laughable, and that's about all the laughter you'll be doing, as NOLF's great comedic dialogue is noticeably absent. The entire game feels slapped together. [Feb 2004, p.79]

Winning battles is more a result of mass and aggression than tactical coordination. [March 2005, p.76]

All enemies are deaf and have the attention span of a spider monkey on crack. [Apr 2004, p.82]

Primal Hunt is going to take the Best Blueballs award for not delivering on what could have been a great expansion. [Nov 2002, p.118]

So maybe I'm uncool, maybe not, but I'm old enough to recognize a bad game with a weak hook and no heart. [July 2003, p.89]

The gameplay, already uninspired and annoying on the consoles, is an uncontrollable mess on PC and not even worth it for fanboys. [Sept 2003, p.100]

A good adaptation of the movie, but the controls could be easier. [Sept 2004, p.76]

Outbreak should get recognition for having one of the most bizarre weapons in any shooter. [May 2002, p.88]

About the only thing the inept MMIX does well is confirming its irrelevance. The game is damned boring. [August 2002, p.70]

The best game ever for gamers without the energy to move their thumbs from the A button to the B button on their gamepads. [May 2004, p.89]

It's idiosyncratic but exciting in a way games like "EverQuest" aren't, and it's getting better... Shockingly good when you consider it was developed by a team of three people. [Oct 2003, p.124]

Dredd-fully underwhelming. [July 2004, p.75]

The controls can be semiclunky, both for issuing orders and for things like manual aiming. [Jan 2005, p.98]

For those of you who crave endless realism in your war games, it's probably as realistic a military simulation as you'll get without risking being exposed to IEDs and insurgent attacks. For the rest of us, it simply fails as a game. [Apr 2005, p.87]

As dry and inviting as the Arabian Desert. [Nov 2003, p.146]

Just barely enought to satisfy true Shadowbane fans. [Apr 2004, p.90]

The A.I. is far superior to the original, having gone from pathetic to passable. [Feb 2003, p.97]

Makes me never want to see the movie again for fear it will remind me of the game. [August 2002, p.76]

I've kept every game that I've ever reviewed for CGW. Space Horse is going into the trash. [Dec 2002, p.135]

For anyone who doesn't share Dr. Smart's very specific obsessions, however, Universal Combat is an exhausting, impenetrable bore. [Oct 2004, p.82]

The game's biggest annoyance - the finite nuber of saves allowed during each mission. [Nov 2003, p.140]

While other games try to improve upon the genre, RuneSword II just wants to be a fun role-playing game. [Jan 2002, p.117]

With a poor presentation and poor gameplay, War Times feels like an overpriced piece of budgetware that's destined to languish in bargain bins until its desiccated corpse turns to powder and is blown from our memory. [Aug 2004, p.82]

This game is lazy and derivative - and it's your fault. [Holiday 2004, p.104]

Yet another attempt at "Europa Universalis Lite" - one that tries to reduce the depth of EU into a mind-numbing series of repetitive tasks. [June 2004, p.86]

Some of the quests you'll receive are actually quite cool..., but mostly the chores are mundane and the gameplay very linear. [Apr 2002, p.94]

If this game game came out four years ago, maybe. Today, no. [Apr 2004, p.86]

Although the vocally overdubbed actors try to give decent performances, Conspiracies' overall quality is so much like a B movie that you'll be surprised no killer tomatoes ever attack - and you just might be praying that they do. [May 2004, p.83]

A total rush job, from start to all-too-sudden finish. [Feb 2006, p.73]

The gamplay in this game about serial murders is even more horrific than its story line. [Feb 2004, p.87]

It contains features any die-hard--and patient--historical strategy gamer can get excited about. [Mar 2004, p.91]

You’ll suspect you’re that fool if you purchase this disappointing game. [Feb 2002, p.92]

Long stretches of boredom punctuated by brief moments of implausibility. [Feb 2005, p.84]

Considering their utter lack of intelligence, it'd be more accurate to name these guys "Inbreed." [July 2004, p.70]

Alpha Black Zero may not be the worst game ever made, but it may be the most tedious. [Dec 2004, p.93]

Poorly designed controls make this pallid Indiana Jones clone unplayable. [July 2003, p.83]

It looks and plays like it was made by two guys in a basement - which, in fact, it was. [Oct 2005, p.78]

A good naval warfare sim undermined by bugs and missing features. [June 2002, p.93]

Until someone boxes up syphilis and tries to sell it at retail, Postal 2 is the worst product ever foisted upon consumers. [July 2003, p.90]

No matter how interesting the real-life situation is, the game manages to make it more boring than missions in most budget shooters. [Sept 2004, p.76]

Atmospheric graphics are about all The Final Cut has going for it. [July 2002, p.81]

Next time, use the million-dollar PVP cash prize to improve gameplay. [Oct 2005, p.78]

A tedious combination of elementary puzzles and primitive fighting. [Dec 2002, p.118]

A bad third-person shooter is still bad even with '60s music and Vietnamese prostitutes. [Dec 2004, p.96]

And thus gaming's highest-profile franchise is run into the ground and kicked repeatedly in the head. [Oct 2003, p.118]

Archangel's plot is almost nonexistent... The light at the end of the tunnel needs a new bulb. [Apr 2003, p.112]

A disturbing combination of poor control and frustrating, repetitive gameplay that feels more like a guerilla "Groundhog Day" than "Platoon." [Mar 2003, p.99]

If you want carpal tunnel syndrome, there are far more entertaining ways to contract it. [Feb 2003, p.80]

It adds some window dressing and a smattering of new scenarios to a game well past its prime. [Aug 2003, p.81]

Is there nothing this game does right? No, nothing. [Apr 2002, p.102]

Real War simply overpromises and underdelivers. [Feb 2002, p.103]

If it’s trivia you’re after, read questions from Trivial Pursuit cards. Or pick up an Encyclopedia Britannica. Don’t, however, buy this game. [Feb 2002, p.99]

After the novelty wears off, it becomes an exercise in tedium broken only by crashes to the desktop. [Jan 2004, p.122]

Provides only a been-there-done-that setting and story line. [July 2004, p.75]

Good lord! This game wasn't created, it was excreted... Basically, you'd have more fun putting starved ferrets in a feedbag and strapping it to your crotch. [Jan 2006, p.46]

A by-the-numbers blast-a-thon. [Feb 2006, p.71]

For some insane reason, the developers decided that you have to insert both discs in sequence every time the game boots... It's just completely preposterous. [Feb 2003, p.96]

If this game is any indication, the SOG soldiers were blind and deaf, and had the tactical sense of lemmings. [Aug 2005, p.76]

No check or save points, no sense of where people are when they radio for help, splash damage that kills from up to 50 meters away, no multiplayer whatsoever--need to hear more? Stay away. Stay very far away. [Mar 2006, p.86]

The combination of wretched design, brainless financial models, and buggy gameplay leaves you with the realization that you got suckered into buying a lemon. [May 2002, p.87]

An epic disaster of a game derived from a movie that simply shouldn't exist in the first place. [Nov 2004, p.81]

Dungeon Lords is a disaster.

Witless, repetitive, and utterly devoid of interesting strategy elements. [Dec 2003, p.142]

Fast and temporarily thrilling, SSC nevertheless lacks the depth and polish today's racers demand. [Apr 2002, p.106]

The grand total of six events feels rather skimpy, and they're very uneven in how well they play. [May 2002, p.90]

An odd duck of an RPG, Empire of Magic both entertains and annoys. [Aug 2003, p.82]

You never quite get past the feeling that there are a half-dozen better shooters you could be playing...There's just no reason to play a shooter with this many problems. [Oct 2004, p.80]

This game is so annoying and poorly designed that it left me vindictively cheering the show's demise. [Dec 2002, p.136]

Simultaneously boring and frustrating, with a design that buries the needle on the irritation-o-meter. [Oct 2002, p.115]

Has the potential to be a truly unique sim, but it's got the blocky aesthetics of an edutainment title, yet is too complex for junior to play on his own. [Sept 2002, p.85]

This game just feels like an insult. Or maybe a practical joke. [Nov 2004, p.80]

The only thing Legacy leaves you with is a feeling of relief when it's over. [Apr 2005, p.88]

As a game, Planet of the Apes fails utterly. As a skeet target, it succeeds in spades. Someone shout, "Pull!" [May 2002, p.84]

This game is so not fun, it almost put me into a coma. [May 2002, p.86]

Proof that not everything made in nine months is a bundle of joy. [Aug 2005, p.78]

A $20 game that plays like a $10 game. [Aug 2005, p.77]

SuperPower's most entertaining feature is this utter detachment from reality - despite its being touted as hyperrealistic. [July 2002, p.82]

25 to life sets the gaming bar about as low as it can go. Then trips over it. [Mar 2006, p.82]

Unit A.I. is pathetic. [Mar 2003, p.104]

Unless you're a medical student desiring to work triage, avoid this game like a bullet in the head. [Sept 2002, p.92]

I've birthed children in less time than it takes the game CDs to fire up. [Aug 2004, p.83]

This game is so full of bad ideas that make a mockery of good reading material. [Feb 2002, p.101]

Underneath its underwhelming exterior lurks an enjoyable, well-balanced game that grows on you if you can just stomach the painful delivery. [May 2002, p.74]

Let me put this as nicely as I possibly can: Strategy First could have put a rotting dead rat in a shoebox and charged $20, and it would still have been a better value than Mistmare. [Dec 2003, p.131]

A prime candidate for Coaster of the Year. You'll have more fun lobbing old potatoes at the squirrels in your yard than playing this mess. [July 2003, p.88]

Save your money by just throwing beer cans at the television. [Feb 2004, p.77]

Confusion and frustration are your only companions in Revolution. [June 2003, p.87]

All breasts, no game...a game that isn't just bad, it's literally unplayable. [Apr 2002, p.103]

Even a screensaver of Richard’s flabby ass crack is preferable to this. [Mar 2002, p.88]

Oh yeah, Terminator 3: War of the Machines also has vehicles! Too bad they suck. [Apr 2004, p.84]

A disjointed assortment of poorly produced five-second clips and no nudity. [August 2002, p.77]

While the game does suffer from the homogenization that the game system imposes, for traditional wargame-style play it works quite well. [May 2002, p.81]

Unfortunately, as much as Siege of Avalon improves upon "Diablo"-esque storytelling, it's a huge step backward in terms of gameplay. [May 2002, p.84]