It's a messy button-masher that makes you really wish it had been able to realize its potential. Don't write it off completely, though...let's talk again in about six months.

Other than the exclusive ArchLord gimmick, we're left with a dated-looking game with limited classes and a lot of grind, and a miniscule chance of something cool at the end if you really throw yourself into it. Not exactly our cup of mead.

It's technically playable and, despite its best efforts, probably won't plunge the industry into a period of navel-gazing and political sanction. Everything else about it is largely forgettable.

How two quality ops managed to screw up Theatre of War is anyone's guess.

The flight-sim world craves a good Vietnam-era helicopter sim, but Whirlwind Over Vietnam's anemic content would've been more suitable for a good demo than a full game.

Underneath the frustrating instability, behind the graceless chat window, and beyond the procession of NPC dialog boxes, you tickled that deep primordial need to gather more stuff and get stronger. Loot and leveling are the essence of any RPG, and you're equipped to satisfy that jones.

The back of the box declares that it's "fast action fun!" Believe us, and believe our young friend Ethan -- Pokemon Dash is not.

Paradise in a word? Dull. Paradise in two words? Paradise lost. Paradise in a sentence? Paradise is comparatively like anywhere you aren't when playing this game. For old-school pointy-clicky-adventure fanatics only.

The extremely limited multiplayer system, the frustrating and ill-conceived "follow the blue dots" gameplay, and the hackneyed control scheme make playing through From Russia With Love like going toe-to-toe with a giant blond boxer as your country's fate is on the line -- stressful, with a likelihood of receiving brain damage.

The venerability of these selections combined with the substandard interface (exiting out of a given game is performed inconsistently and tends to be very confusing) and paltry selection of titles makes this one you can skip over without losing any sleep.

While it has few specific flaws, I can only recommend Loki to lovers of endless reward-based level grinding to the exclusion of all other play...and that market just ain't what it used to be.

The derivative nature of the plot goes hand-in-hand with the completely unimaginative gameplay. Nothing here is original -- the RPG-in-a-computer gimmick is straight up .hack, and the action feels like martial arts-oriented Mega Man Legends.

Nintendo's portable system is the popular girl in school these days, which makes Cookie & Cream an embarrassing photo from back in junior high. Back when she had acne, braces and Coke-bottle glasses and hung out with the kids who weren't cool enough to be on the chess team. Let's put those dark days behind us, shall we?

No matter how much you improve your weapons with alchemy, you probably won't have to do much other than buy the next best sword, then hack-n-slash your way to victory.

Speaking of being taken seriously, the AFL needs more help in the future from EA. This could eventually become a great series, a mix between Madden and Blitz -- but right now it's just $30 you shouldn't spend.

The problem with Mario Party is this: the downtime is completely ridiculous. In a game where the sole purpose is to entertain you in a party-like environment, sitting out for periods of up to 10 minutes at a time, waiting for everyone to roll the dice, run around, shop for items, use said items, compete in stale, single-player mini-games, pointless microphone games and other random events drives one to tears of boredom.

Disappointing, unpolished, and disjointed, the game is thankfully short enough that the minigames and Pan's animal powers don't grow overly tiresome. That sentiment applies for the entire game though -- the simplistic gameplay is tedious, but there's little of it so it never manages to provoke high levels of vitriol.

Edited down to a tight package this could probably make a pretty good machinima feature (or Sci-Fi original motion picture for that matter). But as a game, it fails.

Only a revisit after about six months will reveal whether or not Sword of the New World manages to reach its potential...if anyone's willing to wait that long.

It's technically playable and, despite its best efforts, probably won't plunge the industry into a period of navel-gazing and political sanction. Everything else about it is largely forgettable.

Like the show itself, Jackass: The Game is something best experienced when extremely drunk, extremely bored, or, ideally, both. But don't go getting the idea that you'll enjoy it with friends.

The derivative nature of the plot goes hand-in-hand with the completely unimaginative gameplay. Nothing here is original -- the RPG-in-a-computer gimmick is straight up .hack, and the action feels like martial arts-oriented Mega Man Legends.

The real problem with Brooktown, though, is that your progress seems totally scripted, requiring no actual effort or skill.

A triumph of botched execution, with almost every element it introduces to the game serving to undercut it.

Heatseeker manages to nail the whole "pointing the Wii Remote at the screen" thing, rather than introducing flight-combat gameplay, and as such fails to grasp the idea that you're in a damn fighter jet.

It's quickly clear that Dark Messiah is a "Half-Life 2"-style rail ride, but with "Deus Ex"-style character development.

Most importantly, though (especially for fans of the PC Fallout), you've got an RPG without any sort of enticing story.

It might be a worthwhile purchase to someone who needs an object lesson in how not to take advantage of the platform, but for anyone else this is just a more expensive version of a game that's been cluttering bargain bins for a while now.