Perfect for those who want nothing but a straightforward, hack-and-slash game. It won't offer you substance, style, or even repeat gaming, but at least you won't need any illicit drugs to make your mind numb.

The real tragedy here is that a simple attempt to emulate Atari's 2004 Transformers game would have made this movie tie-in an order of magnitude better. As is, those looking for a Transformers fix should scour the bargain bins for that classic, and leave this one on the shelf.

A tired, sluggish, and uninspired action adventure that would have barely cut the mustard six years ago on PS1.

Unfortunately, all these mild enjoyments delineated above are ruined by the bugs that crawl throughout this game. One bug wipes out all the cargo on your ship every time you set sail. Another prevents merchants from buying or selling anything. A third cuts off a minor side quest.

Impressive a feat as creating a 3D shooter with cinematic aspirations for the DS may be, it doesn't mean much when it's not fundamentally fun to play.

There's a thin line between awful and pointless, and Night Watch manages to wobble like a poorly spun top right in the middle, sporadically teetering too far into awful before righting itself, then drifting over to pointless territory. Again and again and again.

It's a shame, because the Wi-Fi play is arguably the best part of Nitrobike. While the technical issues persist, the smaller field and lag-free experience benefits from the knowledge that your online competitors are putting up with the same glitches that you are.

Lockdown got rid of everything that made its predecessors stand out and kept the bad A.I. and even worse backstories. Even without the burden of living up to its predecessors, Lockdown is -- at best -- a generic shooter with pretensions at realism.

The venerability of these selections combined with the substandard interface (exiting out of a given game is performed inconsistently and tends to be very confusing) and paltry selection of titles makes this one you can skip over without losing any sleep.

As a budget release, Renegade Paintball is a bit more robust than you would imagine, but the buggy gameplay, along with several more oddities will be quick to remind you that yes, this is yet another half-baked budgetware title to forget about.

This could have been the best Virtual-On ever, and instead it's easily the worst.

It has a few fun moments, but for the most part Winback 2 is an utterly unremarkable game, except perhaps in that despite all the gunplay, it's completely bloodless.

Unleashed isn't completely without merit -- it just falls far below any reasonable standard for fighting, wrestling, or monster games.

The GameCube version, on the other hand, slows down horribly with too many cars on the screen (at the start of a four-car race, for instance) or in certain areas of town with a lot of background architecture. It's bad enough that the absence of online multiplayer is just a little extra salt in the wound.

Sadly, "younger players" are exactly the audience that will get the most frustrated, and with the overabundance of minigame driven experiences on the Wii, there are plenty of more enjoyable options.

Plain attacks with repetitive animations undermine any hope for the finesse that four unique characters could have afforded.

The real tragedy here is that a simple attempt to emulate Atari's 2004 Transformers game would have made this movie tie-in an order of magnitude better. As is, those looking for a Transformers fix should scour the bargain bins for that classic, and leave this one on the shelf.

Shot Online's execution is just poor.

From looking at it you'd probably never guess it was an Unreal Engine game. It lacks any real distinguishing features, struggles to run smoothly in places, and, aside from a few nice special effects, never remotely approaches the expected visual impact.

The obvious rush has resulted a very boring and lifeless Manhattan. We all know the Wii isn't exactly a powerhouse when it comes to graphics, but when it looks like an early port of the PSP game, you're better off looking elsewhere (PS3/Xbox 360) for your Spidey fix -- this isn't even worthy of being called a "guilty pleasure."

Sure, running around the dungeons and slashing through enemies is enjoyable enough -- and, dare I say it, even fun at times. But as soon as you attempt to play through Valhalla Knights like its an actual game, it completely falls apart.

It's a bad game, but it's a bad game with aspirations, and every so often it manages to entertain in spite of its gaping, hideous flaws.

Given a choice between these broken versions of classics or simply not having these games on DS at all, I think in the end I'd rather have not had them. At least then there'd have been hope that someone could have done them justice, someday.

The Shield is too little, too late; what would've been a merely mediocre license tie-in is now, due to its very late birth, simply a bad game.

Never does Alien Syndrome become fun -- and unlike the Wii version, the PSP iteration doesn't even control well enough to become quietly engaging in its own methodical, repetitive way.

Time Crisis 4 isn't broken, and the GunCon3 generally works as advertised; it's just appallingly unentertaining after ten minutes, insultingly expensive for what it offers, and has absolutely no place in the PS3 library of anyone but the most desperate gun nuts and Time Crisis devotees.

The constant switching between three types of gameplay just means you'll never really get into any of them, and the hilariously crazy Rabbid characters of the console versions are sparse and disappointingly tame when they do pop up.

If you have any sort of good taste in games whatsoever, please do not buy this game -- instead, have someone else buy it, laugh at him, and then make fun of the title together over a Sunday afternoon. It's a short game, besides.