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TetsuoJan 17, 2011

A Twilight spoof is a good idea, but if the names Seltzer and Friedberg appear in the credits you know it isn't going to have anything redeemable. Not even the actors from the Disney Channel including David Deluise (son of the late DomA Twilight spoof is a good idea, but if the names Seltzer and Friedberg appear in the credits you know it isn't going to have anything redeemable. Not even the actors from the Disney Channel including David Deluise (son of the late Dom Deluise) can save this piece of garbage.… Expand

4 of 4 users found this helpful40

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PilkingtonMediaOct 17, 2010

Yet another Cinematic excretion from the pair that brought us other such NON classics as "Meet the Spartans" and "Disaster Movie." And in a year or so they intend to bring out "Anime Movie" A tremendous waste of time and money, you just haveYet another Cinematic excretion from the pair that brought us other such NON classics as "Meet the Spartans" and "Disaster Movie." And in a year or so they intend to bring out "Anime Movie" A tremendous waste of time and money, you just have to wonder, why do 20th century fox continue to pay these people?… Expand

2 of 2 users found this helpful20

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KandraaOct 7, 2010

WORSE PARODY MOVEI I'VE EVER SEEN. Waste of my time and money. The parts that were suppose to b e funny weren't even close to being funny. Just an all around bad movie.

2 of 2 users found this helpful20

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1

fistofan0077Dec 15, 2010

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. When discussing movies with friends, we tend to be on polar opposites of things. They prefer fluff and stuff that big studios throw out of their faces with little thought, that's briefly entertaining and normally only high quality 10% of the time. So, when deciding what movies to go see with them tends to be an argument. How they talked me into watching Vampires Suck is beyond me.
I've Seen Epic Movie, and that was bad. I then reluctantly saw Disaster Movie. As every other critic said, that was exactly what the title said. So, seeing another Friedberg-Seltzer movie was not foreseen in my future. While normally when I'd see movies with friends, even If I knew they'd be awful, I'd stick it out for them. I tried to do so here, but it was near impossible. I couldn't think of many things good at all about the hurricane ravaged town of a movie I sat through.
Nearly all the gags fell flat for me, whether it be the same old "Reference something famous to get a laugh" shtick or new attempts by the duo at simple gags (Like an unfunny cactus gag). I laughed about once during the movie, and that's when the guy in the wheelchair got beaten up (Ironic, as I was the only one laughing and I was the one in the wheelchair).
Even what could have been nice saving graces, Ken Jeong of the Opus called Community and Diedrich Bader (An abused, guilty pleasure favorite comic of mine) did nothing important to save the film. The only thing that saved this steaming pile of awful was progress for the two directors. After being literally mentally assaulted by the stupidity of Disaster Movie trying to be funny, Vampires seemed to be less lazy, as they genuinely seemed to try to entertain the audience.
But then again, maybe I'm not the one this movie is aimed for. My friends enjoyed it, taking it as stupid humor (I prefer my stupid humor smarter, which is a little bit of an oxymoron, from movies like the underrated Hot Rod)...and if you enjoy blatant pop culture references and lame gags...you may have found your movie.… Expand

2 of 2 users found this helpful20

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2

iamtrent424Nov 30, 2010

This movie is horrible. I going give this movie some points because it did have me dieing laughing on about three screen. But I almost didnt finish watching this movie because it got real bored.

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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CriticFellDec 11, 2010

This may have been one of the worst films I have ever seen. This so-called spoof/parody from the small minds behind such terrible "movies"; Date Movie; Epic Movie; Meet the Spartans; Friedberg and Seltzer should not be allowed pens orThis may have been one of the worst films I have ever seen. This so-called spoof/parody from the small minds behind such terrible "movies"; Date Movie; Epic Movie; Meet the Spartans; Friedberg and Seltzer should not be allowed pens or cameras. I feel sorry for spoofs like Airplane, Spaceballs and Naked Gun plus many, many more films that while been silly; and they are very silly; have great actors, great scripts that make sence to the audience and are most importantly funny. That is the biggest flaw of Vampires Suck it's stupid and not funny. It's the strange kid at the back of the classroom eating the gum from the bottom of the desk.… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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2

Commen0136Mar 6, 2011

Even worst than Twilight. Most people who hate this movie hates spoofs but I like spoofs but this was really bad. Twilight was even a little better than this. The jokes are unfunny and really corny. I smiled maybe twice but that smile becameEven worst than Twilight. Most people who hate this movie hates spoofs but I like spoofs but this was really bad. Twilight was even a little better than this. The jokes are unfunny and really corny. I smiled maybe twice but that smile became a frown with all the corny jokes and unfunny moments which is supposed to be funny.… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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2

thecurberJan 31, 2011

maybe it's just me, but this spoof is so lazy, unfunny and creative in no sense at all and fake, that it's like watching a school play- only with vampires and zombies.

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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2

Trev29Nov 15, 2014

Another parody movie translates into another piece of crap. What exactly is the point of these movies? It was predictably not funny, unoriginal, and stupid. Just embarrassing.

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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3

python2000Feb 20, 2014

Vampires Suck is one of the few movies to join Grown Ups 2 on my prestigious list of Movies Which I Have Purposely Not Finished. I didn't even make it halfway into this travesty which does not even deserve to be called a film. However despiteVampires Suck is one of the few movies to join Grown Ups 2 on my prestigious list of Movies Which I Have Purposely Not Finished. I didn't even make it halfway into this travesty which does not even deserve to be called a film. However despite it being an undeniably bad film Vampires Suck is not as pain inflictingly bad as Friedberg and Seltzers previous spoofs such as Epic Movie, Date Movie and arguably the worst movie of all time Disaster Movie. Anybody who enjoys this has an even lower IQ than the people who wrote it. Every second is juvenile and all of the jokes could have been thought up by me at the age of 8. Do not bother with this insult to the human race.… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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3

JThomas411Aug 19, 2010

The latest parody from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck, takes aim at an obvious target that anyone could get some laughs out of. As a result, it manages to be better than the previous efforts by the movie-making team to date.The latest parody from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck, takes aim at an obvious target that anyone could get some laughs out of. As a result, it manages to be better than the previous efforts by the movie-making team to date. However, that certainly doesn't mean that it is good by any stretch. Friedberg and Seltzer still fail to understand how to make the comedy work and instead populate their spoof with dated pop culture references, cheap toilet humor, obvious jokes and a few examples of horribly bad miscasting. There are many potential jokes to be had with source material like this to riff on but the script instead harps on the same things again and again which results in an irritatingly one-note spoof that fails far off the mark. This may not be Meet the Spartans level of bad, but as you might have guessed it's certainly not worth your time.… Expand

7 of 8 users found this helpful71

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3

MetalDoctorSep 26, 2010

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I never was a fan of Friedberg and Seltzer,they have made some of the most horrible movies of all time.Their latest movie Vampire Sucks has Twillight as source material and frankly it misses on almost all occassions considering all the material they had to come up with decent jokes.So this movie fails miserably but there are some laughs to be had.… Expand

4 of 5 users found this helpful41

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2

grandpajoe6191Sep 29, 2011

My god...

9 of 12 users found this helpful93

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TopvideoJan 14, 2011

Vampires don't suck. This movie sucks. Saw it, hated it, Ate it, and then violently puked it out. I am a fan of twilight, but, I WAS expecting this to be a hilarious, wonderful movie that made me laugh until I cried. NEWFLASH; Worst movie IVampires don't suck. This movie sucks. Saw it, hated it, Ate it, and then violently puked it out. I am a fan of twilight, but, I WAS expecting this to be a hilarious, wonderful movie that made me laugh until I cried. NEWFLASH; Worst movie I ever saw in history of movies. I have bad taste in acting, and even THAT doesn't make me wanna laugh. The only things that were funny were shown in the trailer. I wasted like; a Few bucks for THIS dumb movie? Do the world a favor, and throw it out your window.… Expand

3 of 4 users found this helpful31

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2

KundKDec 2, 2010

Contrary to the popular opinion, it is difficult to parody the "Twilight" movies because the original saga itself is hilariously and unintentionally funny and for adult audience it plays almost like a vampire "Spinal Tap". That being said,Contrary to the popular opinion, it is difficult to parody the "Twilight" movies because the original saga itself is hilariously and unintentionally funny and for adult audience it plays almost like a vampire "Spinal Tap". That being said, this spoof is utterly horrible, the only exception being Jenn Proske's masterful imitation of Kristen Stewart's angsty obnoxiousness.… Expand

2 of 3 users found this helpful21

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ShiiraAug 20, 2010

What was Bella thinking on the night she almost became a woman? "Vampires Suck" goes behind Kristen Stewart's inscrutable stare, as the film copies(a real film pays homage) the scene in which Bella and Edward share the night together, whenWhat was Bella thinking on the night she almost became a woman? "Vampires Suck" goes behind Kristen Stewart's inscrutable stare, as the film copies(a real film pays homage) the scene in which Bella and Edward share the night together, when Bella's counterpart Becca(Jenn Proske) verbally expresses what Stewart can only intimate with her soulful eyes, what Bella the Vampire F****r really wanted to do to the fairest Cullen of them all. In "Eclipse", the bedsprings go untested, as Bella listens to Edward prattle on about chaperoned strolls and iced tea on the porch, in which the vampire's antiquated notions regarding courtship, for my money, is far funnier than any of the comic bits that spoofs the insanely successful "Twilight" films; the "Star Wars" for girls. When Mel Brooks satirized the legendary space opera trilogy back in 1987, some people wondered if "Spaceballs" arrived too late. Relevance is obviously not an issue here. With "Vampires Suck", it's a matter of being too soon, since episodes four and five, so to speak, are both in their various states of gestation. Why couldn't the industry allow Stephanie Meyer's legions of fans the luxury of loving Bella and her fetish for interspecies guys a little while longer without having to desmysitfy the romance for them? Why make them feel stupid? Team Edward and Team Jacob, in the midst of breaking the fourth wall, fighting among themselves at the film's outset to reflect the pandemonium surrounding the fantastical men in Bella's charmed life, should break the wall further by converging on the filmmaker for making such a witless and insulting film. A glittering, pasty-faced vampire and an Indian afflicted with a serious case of werewolf gigantism are no laughing matters for the true believers. And even if you were against the team expansion of 2007(the release year for "Twilight"), when Edward and Jacob joined the filmic league of monsters, these lame ringers are no match as objects of ridicule when compared to the sight of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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1

RazvOct 9, 2010

This is the result of some bad directing, bad actors, bad lines, bad story, bad jokes, bad graphics, all combined together. Trying to make a parody for a movie that is stupid in the first place is a bad idea, especially if you have a lowThis is the result of some bad directing, bad actors, bad lines, bad story, bad jokes, bad graphics, all combined together. Trying to make a parody for a movie that is stupid in the first place is a bad idea, especially if you have a low budget and no sense of humor, at all.… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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3

GarethCriticOct 18, 2010

The partnership of Friedberg and Seltzer has, so far, given us nothing but humourless, idiotic jokes that even a child could think of. This movie is better than any of their past movies in the same sense that being stabbed is better thanThe partnership of Friedberg and Seltzer has, so far, given us nothing but humourless, idiotic jokes that even a child could think of. This movie is better than any of their past movies in the same sense that being stabbed is better than being shot. Vampires Suck took a movie that practically everyone would love to see a parody of and killed the idea. In fact, the best joke within this movie is name of the Edward Cullen parody, Ed Sullen. it may sound sad but that really is as good as it gets.… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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1

cameronmorewoodNov 7, 2012

Bottom line- it sucks.

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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1

MovieLonely94Nov 4, 2010

that was totally stupid! you used one part from Alice in Wonderland where Alice gets killed and fells down a rabbit hole. that didn't happened in the Tim Burton version, you dumba**es!

1 of 3 users found this helpful12

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3

hyperion_lynxAug 19, 2010

Tentu saja. Dengan keberhasilan tiga film pertama dari franchise The Twilight Saga dalam meraup keuntungan hampir sebesar US$400 juta dari peredaran domestiknya di wilayah Amerika Utara, ditambah dengan banyaknya jumlah penggemar fanatikTentu saja. Dengan keberhasilan tiga film pertama dari franchise The Twilight Saga dalam meraup keuntungan hampir sebesar US$400 juta dari peredaran domestiknya di wilayah Amerika Utara, ditambah dengan banyaknya jumlah penggemar fanatik yang berbanding lurus dengan jumlah kritikus film dunia yang membencinya, perilisan sebuah film yang memparodikan franchise tersebut sepertinya adalah hal yang sangat wajar. Dan berbicara soal parodi, tentu saja tidak ada orang lain di Hollywood yang se-â… Expand

1 of 4 users found this helpful13

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1

NF123Aug 28, 2010

Parodies Movies, that parody themselves. Basically a cheap shot, which ends up worse then the already bad Twilight series. There's no excuse for it. I still feel hurt almost a week after watching the thing. Who keeps giving these people jobs,Parodies Movies, that parody themselves. Basically a cheap shot, which ends up worse then the already bad Twilight series. There's no excuse for it. I still feel hurt almost a week after watching the thing. Who keeps giving these people jobs, especially after "Epic Movie"… Expand