Jesse Hassenger

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For 802 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 44% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 6.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jesse Hassenger's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 91 American Honey
Lowest review score: 12 Asking for It
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 69 out of 802
802 movie reviews
    • 68 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    The movie gets livelier every time Stewart appears, as if on a contact high from her intoxication. Crimes of the Future needs those extra jolts of weirded-out star power. In spite of its arresting imagery, it’s sometimes more engaging to think about than to actually watch.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    There may be bolder DC superhero movies, but despite that body-horrific transformation, Blue Beetle sure is the nicest one in a while.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    The third release from Studio Ponoc, a Japanese animation studio formed by former Studio Ghibli staffers, The Imaginary is a little twinklier and more straightforward than its Ghibli cousins, with some dreamscapes that look suspiciously Lisa Frank-y. But it has more legitimate imagination than the sweaty whimsy of IF.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    In its fusion of Edwards’ craft with characters who aren’t thunderously stupid or unlikable, this is the best Jurassic movie in ages – in part because it works so comfortably as an ooh/ahh/run/scream monster movie.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 69 Jesse Hassenger
    As-is, Scarlet is a beautiful loll, content with its self-made magic.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 69 Jesse Hassenger
    Die My Love is a powerful primal scream, only undercut by the question of whether it’s in love with the sound it’s making.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 69 Jesse Hassenger
    Together doesn’t succumb to the dreaded “metaphorror” effect, where every plot point and character serves a clearly coded metaphorical purpose. It’s often grimly funny, with the actors (and their talented physical doubles) throwing themselves into their roles.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 69 Jesse Hassenger
    At his heart, Feig isn’t really a satirist – or an action director, despite his repeated efforts. He still makes a convincing underdog, though, fighting his way through misbegotten genre that shouldn’t work here nearly as well as it does.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 69 Jesse Hassenger
    González-Nasser offers glimpses of what might make the work rewarding enough to stick with, and, with it, how elusive those feelings must be.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    Roar Uthaug is not a director who seems destined for greater, grander epics, and that’s one of his best qualities. He makes polished B-movies without the delusions of A-list grandeur.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    Hit-and-miss horror auteur Alexandre Aja knows how to deliver lean, mean horror action. Crawl is far less tongue-in-cheek than his Piranha remake, but it doesn’t build to a fever pitch or deliver dynamite setpieces.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    Enjoyable as it is, Scott’s movie is adrift in a closed system, a massive warship floating around a coliseum.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    Like his Shell remake, the Sanders Crow makes something oddly compelling out of a bad idea.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    Even when The Bad Guys resembles other movies, it’s stealing from them gracefully, with its own sensibility and energy.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    As movies about a Liam Neeson character marinating in regrets before punching and shooting his way out of immediate danger go, this is a pretty good one, by which I mean at one point Neeson smokes a pipe while driving a car. It’s also Lorenz’s best as a director by a fair margin, a movie that feels inspired by Eastwood and old Westerns, but not beholden to them.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    If the movie’s adult characters are conveniences, its evocation of teenage yearning-slash-horniness (and the ways those can get mixed up) feels pretty real, even in the more outlandish moments.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    None of the players here were in Ben Affleck’s The Town, but this feels like a companion piece to that one, too, in both its entertainment value and occasional overplayed hangdog Damon-Affleck pathos.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    All told, it’s a surprisingly good time. The Garfield Movie may be as disposable as one of those numbered paperbacks that ex-kids of a certain age may fondly recall from their Scholastic book orders, but it approximates their sense of fun, too.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    The film’s other performances aren’t as engaging as Seydoux and young Martins, which means One Fine Morning itself sometimes feels like it’s muddling through with Sandra’s same weariness, too faithfully reproducing the repetitions of real life.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s very much in the tradition of another Spielberg summer creature movie: Like Jaws, Beast heightens basic human fears about a sharp-toothed predator into something impossible, even ridiculous, yet weirdly plausible for most people.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    The French Italian is frequently clever and observant, but is it consistently funny? Like laugh-out-loud, forget-the-contrivances, hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner funny? Sadly, no. It’s a little too cluttered with dead-end oddities.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    The opening of the movie has some perfectly timed visually-delivered laughs, like an early car scene involving an accidental failure to reverse, and the bottle-episode staginess of later scenes limits the visual invention. Still, by this point you’ve boarded the ride, and Oh, Hi! keeps you captive in a way that Iris only dreams of: by sheer force of Gordon’s personality.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    If You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah does have the feel of an expensive, well-appointed, but not exactly lushly-made family project – maybe even a coming-of-age gift to the younger Sandler daughter – at least it mounts a charm offensive, rather than treating its audience like a pack of easily manipulated rubes.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    That’s the true power of Affleck and Bernthal’s collective charm offensive: They can make a junky story about a computer-brained savior of human-trafficking victims resemble a whimsical hangout session.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Only Reid and Pine feel like they’re playing fully imagined characters, and DuVernay wrestles with how to make the overstuffed material both contemporary and timeless.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    After so many smirky bloodfests, They Will Kill You scarcely needs believable human relationships to earn some goodwill. All it really needs is Beetz convincingly going through hell.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    While it doesn’t operate at its full potential, Spivet nonetheless offers a bracing risk: a kid adventure with danger alongside its whimsy and sadness alongside its reassurances.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    If we have to wade through some silly, pandering nostalgia to get to this pleasingly vast dinosaur playground, so be it.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    The increasingly ornate violence (much of it taking place in a newer if no less creaky location) fuels an effective thrill machine, and if that machine can’t match the unexpected sweetness of the T-800’s relationship with John Connor, well, maybe that’s for the best.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Strange Magic, an animated film from Lucasfilm and Industrial Light & Magic, borrows its sensibility from another movie from the summer of 2001: "Moulin Rouge." The new film’s composer and music director, Marius De Vries, even arranged songs for Baz Luhrmann’s phantasmagorical musical.

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