Jesse Hassenger

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For 801 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 53% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 44% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 6.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jesse Hassenger's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 91 American Honey
Lowest review score: 12 Asking for It
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 69 out of 801
801 movie reviews
    • 70 Metascore
    • 70 Jesse Hassenger
    A paranoid thriller that sneaks in its character study so stealthily that it takes a while to realize who is actually being studied.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Yet none of this stuff, largely but not exclusively confined to a rote opening 30 minutes or so, works as well as the seemingly lower-stakes but far more evocatively handled saga of John Wick’s dog.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 66 Jesse Hassenger
    It is a solidly sweet and corny live-action children’s film at a time when kids are mostly being sold live-action remakes of perennial streaming-service rewatch faves.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Portman acquits herself charmingly, as she usually does in her occasional slumming blockbuster role; maybe she and Krasinski should have swapped parts. The erstwhile Jim Halpert isn’t even all that terrible here; at least he makes his character’s smarmy-doofus quality work for his non-relationship with Esme. The real star, though, is Ritchie’s unflagging spirit, as if chasing after bigger blockbusters in the 2010s led him to his own rejuvenating fountain.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Jesse Hassenger
    All told, there’s hardly a single smile in Lilo & Stitch ’25 not generated through the stolen valor of the earlier screenplay, and hardly a poignant moment that’s not more admirably raw in the G-rated version.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 80 Jesse Hassenger
    Kandhari’s film emerges as an off-kilter treatise on identity, and what cultural, social, and physiological elements can shape it, even well into adulthood.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 16 Jesse Hassenger
    The movie is 105 minutes long and would feel stretched thin even if cut down to the cutscene bookends of a music video. It is a thing you can see, technically.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 78 Jesse Hassenger
    But even for a highly satisfied 30-year fan of Mission: Impossible as a Hollywood institution, this adventure is a little exhausting, and leaves Cruise looking ready to move on to the next world, even if he refuses to admit as much on screen. He’s a great actor and peerless movie star. Maybe it’s time to find another mask to put back on.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Final Destination Bloodlines does deliver. The elaborate opening set piece is one of the series’ best.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 40 Jesse Hassenger
    Though it’s positioned in the early days of the summer movie reason, Shadow Force winds up as an unintentional advertisement for staying home.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    Josh Hartnett does a fine job in Fight or Flight’s intensely physical, one-versus-100 lead role, but the movie doesn’t have much to offer beyond 15 minutes of inventive action and 80 minutes of aggressive mediocrity.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 68 Jesse Hassenger
    If the movie’s adult characters are conveniences, its evocation of teenage yearning-slash-horniness (and the ways those can get mixed up) feels pretty real, even in the more outlandish moments.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Jesse Hassenger
    Halyna Hutchins is the movie’s saving grace. Without her work, it wouldn’t be worth a look at all.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    Thunderbolts* is the first Marvel movie in a couple of years to make a good-faith effort to live in its characters’ heads, rather than just their Wiki pages.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Can 20 minutes or so of brutally inventive action really prop up a whole movie? In this case, yes. Havoc doesn’t reach the mayhem-as-characterization heights of John Wick or the Asian films that clearly inspire Evans, but it does turn its gnarly spectacle into a kind of absurd redemption for the flatness of its characters.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 61 Jesse Hassenger
    For maybe half its 103-minute running time, maybe even a little more, Until Dawn gets by on its spookhouse variety and surprising humor.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    That’s the true power of Affleck and Bernthal’s collective charm offensive: They can make a junky story about a computer-brained savior of human-trafficking victims resemble a whimsical hangout session.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 91 Jesse Hassenger
    Sinners, which the filmmaker himself has been touting as his first wholly original feature (Fruitvale Station, his debut, was based on a real-life tragedy), is both Coogler’s most fantastical and most closely rooted in the history of American racism. It’s pulp from the heart and the gut.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 60 Jesse Hassenger
    The soul of the movie isn’t particularly in the human/creature relationship at its center, but in the stunning craftsmanship that surrounds (and in the creature’s case, creates) them.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Jesse Hassenger
    Tran and Gladstone keep the movie watchable, mixing prickliness and warmth in a situation that’s more common than movies often acknowledge: a partnership where one person is far more invested in parenthood than another.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    Drop is ultimately a nice movie about an abuse survivor being terrorized by seemingly omniscient forces, loaded with moments that don’t really hold up to scrutiny and well-sold by Fahy’s performance.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 58 Jesse Hassenger
    It’s not that The Amateur explores moral gray areas; it just swirls generic and weirdly apolitical spy-movie elements around until all that’s left is a watery blur, accidentally paying faithful tribute to studio mediocrities past.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 53 Jesse Hassenger
    If Hell of a Summer is supposed to spoof the horror movies it resembles, it never settles on a satirical point of view from which to approach them. If it’s supposed to actually imitate them, well, even worse; the original Friday the 13th is no classic, but it’s got a damn sight more atmosphere than this.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Jesse Hassenger
    That the movie is “only” a silly romp makes it all the more charming to watch Boden and Fleck find a less mechanical, less programmatic way to have fun.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 60 Jesse Hassenger
    For a big-studio adaptation of a massively popular video-game, A Minecraft Movie lets a surprising amount of its director’s personality shine through. Napoleon Dynamite’s Jared Hess manages to fit some laugh-out-loud silliness into his Overworld saga before surrendering to the obligations of CG-driven fantasy adventure. Thematically, A Minecraft Movie offers a pat world-is-what-you-make-it lesson, but Jack Black and Jason Momoa in particular sell it with a lot of comic enthusiasm.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 71 Jesse Hassenger
    On its terms, and especially with an ending I read as ambiguous, The Woman in the Yard is also unflinching enough to maybe count as daring, and maybe Sollet-Cerra’s most viscerally moving film. It’s also among his least playful, least comforting. Your anxieties can’t follow you around if you can barely make it out of bed.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Jesse Hassenger
    Some of the movie’s cartoon mayhem is fun enough. The rest feels like, well, work.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 67 Jesse Hassenger
    Ash
    Ash could be a rumination on the nature of identity, or the destructive colonial spirit of Americans, or the indescribable horrors of a world beyond our own ruined one, but despite all of its cranked-up imagery and sometimes-confusing storytelling, it’s tidier and less thought-provoking than any of that – a genre exercise, capably extended.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 66 Jesse Hassenger
    Snow White is really one of the better Disney remakes.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Jesse Hassenger
    This one’s The Irishman for anyone in dire need of new glasses.

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