The concept is unoriginal, the scenarios aren't funny, and its message is banal. Plus, Murphy alternately hams it up and phones it in.

A laughably bad horror flick.

There are only so many times you can see a slow-motion kickboxing scene or a figure sail off a skyscraper before you want to spend a nice, cozy evening with the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Even horror neophytes won't be spooked by a film that looks as if it were shot with a smartphone and an Itty Bitty Booklight.

It's so unfunny it almost stings.

Blackhat is a tedious, preposterous and incoherent cyberthriller that is anything but thrilling.

However, anyone seeking a good time that involves wit and logic will consider the film a definite wrong number. [26Feb1997 Pg 03.D]

Put an infinite number of monkeys in front of an infinite number of word processors, and one of them may indeed write War and Peace, as the old theory goes. But more likely, they'll come up with something like David Mickey Evans' screenplay for Ed. [15 Mar 1996, p.5D]

You can always judge a sci-fi thriller by its aliens. What does Planet offer -- Space roaches.

Hisses for Catwoman. Unfortunately for Oscar winner Halle Berry, this movie belongs in the litter box.

Give this to Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins: The dogs can act.

Within a few minutes into the ponderous prehistoric pseudo-epic that is 10,000 B.C., you find yourself longing for George of the Jungle to crash into a tree or the Geico cavemen to amble up and put an end to the droning seriousness of this tedious tale.

A potential howler done in by a tendency to wear too much body tissue on its sleeve.

Veggie Tales is a faith-based franchise that uses a blend of a religious/moral message and humor to teach about honesty and forgiveness. But Pirates lacks the humor of the videos and "A Veggie Tales Movie."

The movie is so uninvolving that it inspires renewed respect for Broken Arrow, which was equally stupid but excitingly filmed. Though its sound effects will shake up your marrow, you can experience the same effect by plunking $ 100 worth of change into a rumbling bed at the nearest seedy motel. [2 Aug 1996]

A silly movie that's essentially a series of clichés strung together into a semblance of a movie.

Steven Seagal's acting style is so minimal that we can almost believe a script that tells us that his character's near-death experience left him flatlined for 22 minutes.

Has a riddick-ulous sci-fi plot, overblown and numbing video game-style special effects and a going-through-the-motions lead performance by Vin Diesel.

Less a movie than a mind-numbingly dull road trip.

Who had the lamebrained idea for a post-apocalyptic 3-D Nutcracker that is lacking any trace of ballet?

Love Stinks is what bad network TV comedy would be like if there were no censorship and less talent.

If Costner's clout gets this 124-minute snooze even three weeks of business, dust off the Tom Cruise Cocktail award. [16 Feb 1990, p.4D]

The movie is so impressionistic, it obfuscates any sense of history. We expect at least a hint at the causes of the Mayan Empire's demise, but instead we get Mesoamerican Rambo.

Although about as authentic as Chef Boy-Ar-Dee, Martin at least gets to dress funny. Joan Cusack's D.A. looks dowdy and is misused. Carol Kane's grocery-store siren looks slutty and is underused. And as a cop, Melanie Mayron should slap cuffs on her hairdresser. [20 Aug 1990, p.4D]

If you didn't know otherwise, you'd swear that Gentlemen Broncos was made by a disaffected high school student – and not a particularly talented one.

Ultimately, Beerfest plays like a party that's gone on too long, when the buzz has worn off and the hangover starts to set in.

Don't say you weren't warned. There are instant clues that this ill-timed Michael Douglas vehicle is a dually unfortunate viewing experience.

It's been a long time since a movie wasted this much talent.