May be a spectacularly awful movie, but it's also spectacularly drenched in color, décor and other visual oh-la-la.

Alicia Vikander worked herself into hardbody shape for Tomb Raider, which by contrast is a flabby, lazy mess.

With only momentary grandmaster flashes of brainless fun, too much of CB4 belongs in the hip-hopper. [12 Mar 1993, p.8D]

Nothing works in this over-elaborate let's-kidnap-a-kid melodrama. [24 Aug 1990]

A plethora of beats drop but little else of note — musical or otherwise — happens in the Zac Efron DJ fest We Are Your Friends.

More often the film succumbs to clichés, grows convoluted and outlandish, and winds up dead on arrival.

It's a pretty twisted concept, bordering on offensive. But mostly it's just not funny.

A movie that has neither dramatic focus nor a single memorable performance, aside from one or two that are memorable for the wrong reasons?

To be charitable, the film's point of view is consistent, and there's a clever bit (very late) involving construction equipment. There isn't however, even a fourth-cousin to a laugh in this very strange public suicide. [29 July 1991, p.4D]

All this movie has in common with its ancestor are speedboats, shotguns and drug-dealing Colombians.

This road-trip piffle is basically a male version of a chick-bonding flick.

Most Ender's fans, of course, won't care about comparisons and consider the film adaptation a long-awaited victory in itself. Those fresh to the tale — or at least expecting something fresh from it — may wonder what the fuss was about.

The story's appeal is lost in all the fights between the monsters and robots.

It's dreadful, despite a solid cast that includes art-house heartthrob Ewan McGregor, Nick Nolte, Patricia Arquette and Josh Brolin. [17 Apr 1998]

When movies have degraded to the point that Tyson is acting more than Quentin Tarantino is directing, maybe it is time for an industry shutdown, strike-induced or otherwise.

Oscar is a marathon of running gags, but few cross the finish line. [26 Apr 1991, p.4D]

A nose-bleeding mass murderer wears a mask that suggests Roger Ebert is knocking off a group of lifelong female friends.

OK, Time Warner, a joke is a joke, but the time of tolerance has passed. Get your creatures out of our faces unless you're willing to regale us by afflicting them with Mad Pokémon Disease.

Actor John Corbett, so clean-cut in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and "Raising Helen," goes surprisingly scruffy here as someone who apparently studied music under Grizzly Adams.

Myopic Whitey, continually passed over for a lifetime achievement athletic award, bears a passing resemblance to Columbia's all-time No. 1 animated star, the nearsighted Mr. Magoo. It's nice to think that if he ever went to this movie, he wouldn't be able to see it.

Appallingly mean-spirited.

It doesn't take a world-class navigator to figure out that any movie with Martin Short in the straight role and Kurt Russell in the funny role is already way off course. Captain Ron is about as amusing as an anchor dropped on your foot. [21 Sep 1992, p.5D]

Ellen Barkin is an itchy-twitchy stitch in Switch. As a murdered Casanova who comes back to life as a blond bombshell, she's a physical-comedy sensation on par with Steve Martin in All of Me. But that's only 15 minutes of laugh-worthy material. The rest of Switch is a big turnoff. [10 May 1991, p.2D]

The movie is devoid of laughs, except for a mildly funny segment when one of the chipmunks inhales helium. And since this is aimed at the under-10 set, it includes the requisite flatulence joke and a spit take or two.

Never was a film so visually stunning and so intolerable as To the Wonder.

Friedberg, who previously made Nielsen's golfing video and rental car commercials, knows only the low road -- and gets lost anyway. [24 May 1996, Pg.04.D]

Clumsy urban thriller.

Costner, allegedly smitten with his client, had more chemistry with the Warren Commission in JFK. [25 Nov 1992, p.1D]