Can't scare up a decent plot.

Usually, I'm as slow as the pacing of a movie in figuring out who's done it. If you can't solve this mystery with an hour to go (as I did), better call for a transfusion so a better type of blood will start flowing to your brain.

Life is a crock -- or something like it.

A glossy wisp of a cautionary tale.

Given its predictable story, the only reason to see Stomp is for the rhythmic step dancing.

The Great Wall crumbles mainly because of its wholly predictable plot, wretched dialogue and dud of a filmgoing experience from noted director Zhang Yimou (House of Flying Daggers).

Yet another Alan Alda unoriginal original. [22 Jun 1990, p.2D]

Revolution tries a few plot moves, but, narratively, it has two left feet.

It takes more than an awkward title attempting to sound cool to overcome its mundane plot and silly dialogue.

Except for a brief episode in which singer Chris Isaak and Kiefer Sutherland make like an FBI Rocky and Bullwinkle, this is a morbidly joyless affair. You'll feel as drained as one of Cooper's mugs of joe watching homecoming queen Laura drown in a whirlpool of sex and drugs. [31 Aug 1992]

What Edwards doesn't bring to the party is an entertaining story. Something about a princess abducted by evil Robert Davi, who has done some great movie bad guys, but seems uninterested here. Benigni deserves another chance to strut the stuff that has made him a box-office phenom in Italy. [31 Aug 1993, p.5D]

Too bad the movie didn't take its own advice and risk coming up with a fresh story.

Nothing about this rote exercise feels remotely fresh. It's a re-tread of the 2009 original, sans the inspired lunacy.

Begins sinking in the shallow end almost at once.

It really would take a love potion to fall for this lifeless comedy. [16 Nov 1992]

Predator 2 won't be the worst turkey at theaters this Thanksgiving. But it certainly gobbles loud and often enough. Its makers - whose previous smash-crash hash includes 48 HRS., Die Hard and both Lethal Weapons - go to great lengths to camouflage this bird with ultra-violent dressing. The plot is one bloody showdown after another, on rooftops or in subway cars. [21 Nov 1990, p.2D]

Hollywood must still have some wheezy hacks capable of gleaning a few chuckles out of the hoary Convicts-Disguised-as-Priests movie premise. But to paraphrase Groucho Marx, Someone, please, get us a hack; David Mamet's We're No Angels script can't find them. [15 Dec 1989, p.6D]

From the embarrassingly over-the-top performance of Ray Liotta as a tough-guy biker to the pratfalls of William H. Macy as a bumbling computer geek, this movie stinks of exhaust and desperation.

When it's not aspiring, unsuccessfully, to satirize the world of metallica, Rock Star veers into even drearier territory and becomes a head-banging, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll version of "A Star Is Born."

There's not a cliché that isn't nailed.

This is by far Kaufman's worst outing since becoming a major filmmaker more than a quarter-century ago, and the fact that his only other stinker from this period is 1993's "Rising Sun" means that maybe he ought to stay away from cop melodramas.

Some screwball moments elicit a chuckle or two, but the script is weak and the characterizations clichéd.

Writer/producer John "Home Alone" Hughes, the Marquis de Sade of kidcom, and director Les Mayfield manage to squeeze the very bounce out of what should have been a can't-miss update. [26Nov1997 Pg09.D]

Shyamalan isn't drawing the caliber of performances from his actors as he used to. Who can forget Haley Joel Osment's haunting portrayal in The Sixth Sense or that of Toni Collette, who played his mother, or Bruce Willis in arguably his best role?

Navy SEALS no doubt fancies itself as being taken from today's headlines, but ''taken from the pages of a Chuck Norris script'' is more like it. [23 July 1990, p.2D]

Ostensibly meant to be light entertainment. If light is synonymous with preposterous, frenetic and noisy, it qualifies.

Slavishly follows the well-worn and soggy Sparks path.

Though the lead actress, newcomer Jordana Beatty, gives a spunky performance as third-grader Judy, her character's borderline bratty charm wears thin fast. Mostly it's undercut by the movie's irritatingly antic slapstick style.