Audiences deserve a resounding "mea culpa" for the embarrassing dreck, masquerading as comedy, in The Guilt Trip.

Despite the beautiful eye-popping world it creates, the sci-fi film Ghost in the Shell is a defective mess with lifeless characters, missed chances for thematic exploration and a minefield of political incorrectness.

Don't blame an aptly chosen cast headed by cute newcomer Mason Gamble, but this film isn't for viewers old enough to fantasize about chaining Barney the dinosaur to a freeway U-Haul. Its mental-age cutoff point is maybe Pampers-plus-5; grown-ups are cautioned to bring along alternate entertainment - even a Walkman tape of old Dennis Day ballads. [25 June 1993, p.2D]

Tedious, unromantic, sophomoric and only sporadically funny.

Interspersed between the misogyny and flatulence jokes apparently left over from Pooh's co-written script for "Friday," there's a story about an ex-con.

Been-there-seen-that wannabe laughfest.

Director Dominic Sena appears more enamored of peeping-Tom camerawork than plot logic. [03 Sep 1993]

Spaced Invaders (grave emphasis on the first ''d'') is the kind of kids' piffle Touchstone/ Disney turns out in its sleep once or twice a year. This time, slumber segues into a heavy coma, halfway into 102 criminally overlong minutes. [01 May 1990, p.4D]

Double the Van Damme equals double the dopiness in the August dog-days exploitation pic Double Impact. And though it falls somewhat short of being double the pleasure/double the fun, the film is made for one of those round-the-clock theaters with Doublemint gum stuck to the floor. [09 Aug 1991, p.5D]

The movie tries to be both comical and touching, as befitting the coming-of-age genre. But it feels forced, derivative and sometimes sappily sentimental.

Calling a cave of rocks home while spouting invective worthy of the Juilliard attendee he once was, homeless-by-choice Samuel L. Jackson worms his way into one of the least compelling mysteries in years.

Has plenty of fast cars and revving engines. But unless you're a fan of that sort of thing, its stultifying plot and wooden acting is likely to make you drift - off to sleep.

[Kidman's] Lifetime-esque potboiler centers on a bored working mom who discovers her husband might not be on the level, but while the locale is postcard idyllic, the narrative is a never-ending slog, only getting halfway interesting with a silly third-act twist and a suddenly bloody finale.

Brian De Palma's Casualties of War, with a script by playwright David Rabe, is the most overwrought (and likely to be overrated) Vietnam movie since The Deer Hunter. Or maybe since Robert Altman's film of Rabe's Streamers. Or maybe (why split hairs?) ever. [18 Aug 1989, p.4D]

Summer School is like summer school: you go, then quickly realize you would much rather be doing something else. [22 July 1987]

Alas, Wolf tries too hard to shock to be effective.

Nothing is right about this ridiculous horror schlockfest.

Anyone who sees this movie is going to be 20 minutes ahead of it, though there won't be that many after Weekend 1. With domestic disturbances, someone calls the cops. With this DOA, someone had better call the coroner.

What was once fresh and innovative now is tired and overdone.

It will be hard for audiences to remain even vaguely attentive during this slog of a feudal vengeance tale.

Vaughn and James are likable enough, and they would have real chemistry in, say, an all-out comedy.

As buddy pics go, this is pretty much not even worth a single look, let alone a double take.

A pathetically dumb attempt to string a bunch of second-rate skits together like a garland of rotten cranberries.

Even if this movie wasn't based on a computer game, Starship Troopers' reputation would still have just shot up another 50 notches. [19 March 1999, Life, p.11E]

The Homesman aims for a story that's poignant and told sparely, but comes across as mawkish, tedious and self-indulgent.

It's an almighty, humorless bore.

Yes, it's a candy-colored Day-Glo world, but there's a liveliness missing from this lead-footed Speed Racer.

The film disappoints terribly, too. The directorial debut of such an imaginative and clever screenwriter was a highly anticipated event. His "Being John Malkovich" and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" are two of the most innovative and intriguing movies of the past decade. Synecdoche is one of the most maddening.