Low on Diesel fuel, though probably amusing enough if you're part of the intended demographic, which appears to be the age group that likes to stick fingers up noses.

Summer School is like summer school: you go, then quickly realize you would much rather be doing something else. [22 July 1987]

Predictable and foolishly unsuspecting characters react in ways that make you want to shake them. But there's an undeniable sense of silly fun in this erotic thriller.

Director Christian Duguay's gimmicky "thriller" demonstrates that he has not begun to master the art of suspense.

If you're going because you want to see an entertaining horror movie, good luck.

Geared to 16-year-olds who can't name the governor of their state, this movie ought to be closed down by the health department.

White Noise is the celluloid equivalent of a bad cell phone connection.

Pratt can do lovable rogue in his sleep at this point, and Brown’s got a spunky young woman down pat. Both of them have some good lines and emotional moments but they mostly feel plug-and-play rather than mining anything new and exciting.

Though better than its 2001 predecessor -- and teeming with cute creatures and fast and furious action scenes -- the movie feels excessively formulaic.

Even with nifty giant bird Nimbly, flying dog-dragon Falkor and Tonto-like sidekick Atreyu along for the ride, Bastian seems to meander more than tumble into fun- filled adventures. For all its echoes of Oz, Fantasia is not much of a merry old land. [11 Feb 1991, p.4D]

One can excuse the movie's missteps and melodramatic moments in the greater interest of the strong statement it makes about our health care system.

If Sandler hopes to win over new fans, he may want to cork the scatological humor and let it age a bit.

A laughably bad horror flick.

A pathetically dumb attempt to string a bunch of second-rate skits together like a garland of rotten cranberries.

Sitting through the teen skateboard comedy Grind is, well, a grind.

Unpleasantness alone doesn't sink a movie. But miserable tidings intensify when there's not only a high ick factor but also floundering storytelling.

Smurfs is utterly kid-friendly.

What is most troubling is how this film can serve to shape perceptions for impressionable kids. Young girls and boys will think that non-stop make-out sessions is all it takes to sustain "endless love."

There's probably a fall-out-of-your-seat, laugh-your-head-off comedy to be made about house guests. Meanwhile, the maddeningly mediocre Madhouse will have to do. [16 Feb 1990, p.4D]

One of those movies that goes for a jarringly new emotion every 30 seconds or so while the story's foundation is collapsing.

Any civilization that can produce a movie this stupid probably deserves to be hit by famine and pestilence.

The Wal-Mart of cinematic soap operas. One-stop shopping for your emotional movie needs.

There isn't much in the way of plot to get in the way of Sandler's world: There's poo, ripped pants and hot girls falling for fat guys.

This 140-minute I-don't-know-what-it-is unravels like a ball of yarn after a bout with a tiger on Colombian catnip. Lee exhaust me.

Much as they would like it to, basketball can't save the youthful inner-city players here. Nor does the ultra-fast-paced street version of the sport save this movie from predictability and tedium.

The latest entry in the cottage industry launched by 1980's Airplane! oozes diminishing returns. [5 Feb 1993, p.5D]

Too distinctive-looking to dismiss out of hand, but it would help to be able to look through a magic viewfinder (or maybe magic eraser) and make its script disappear.

In a summer filled with dumb comedies, this might prove to be the dumbest. Think "Road Trip" meets "City Slickers." Then dial the humor down a few notches, and you're left Without a Paddle.

Premonition is both dreary and absurd, suffering from a lack of intrinsic logic and terrible pacing, a one-two punch that kills off any chance of entertainment value.

Anyone who sees this movie is going to be 20 minutes ahead of it, though there won't be that many after Weekend 1. With domestic disturbances, someone calls the cops. With this DOA, someone had better call the coroner.

Too bad first-time director Christopher Erskin, who cut his teeth on music videos and commercials, took so many predictable turns on this Vacation.

To say that New in Town is the worst movie of this fledgling year is to damn it with faint praise. It may be one of the worst movies of any year. Not content to be merely inane and predictable, it is downright insulting, humorlessly deriding those who choose to live in rural America, labor in factories or have a strong Christian faith.

You'll be checking your watch a lot during Timeline. Though most of the cast is strong and the movie has moments of suspense, ultimately the mystery in this action thriller is so far-fetched it's ludicrous.

A race-car drama full of flashy but empty images and a soundtrack that makes you feel as if you're being shaken on a motel rumblebed.

Far from being a run-of-the-mill slasher pic.

Mowing the lawn might be more involving than watching this subpar sci-fi sequel, which manages to be complicated and witless at the same time. [15 Jan 1996, p.4D]

Some of the gags are stupid-funny, others are just puerile, making for a hit-or-miss experience.

Enough low-grade laughs to entertain significantly more than some of the more prestigious year-end releases.

Drippy, derivative stalker flick.

As the couple stand on the bluffs overlooking San Francisco Bay, you may find yourself wishing Forlani would push Prinze in.

All cinematic creativity seems to have focused on devising the most repellent ways to maim and murder.

The jewels in the buried treasure, once sighted, look fake. But the bigger problem is how artificial the whole story feels.

The best that can be said is that the production design is striking. Otherwise, it's a foolish story, marred by a strange blend of overacting and bland, offhand performances.

In its favor: a breakout performance from Palestinian newcomer Leem Lubany and maybe the most apropos use of Peace Train ever.

An awkward blend of fable, travelogue and relationship drama, it's the story's hybrid style, vapid message and predictable arc that disappoint.

An occasionally entertaining, always fluffy teen romantic comedy with some moderately funny physical comedy by gadabout star Lindsay Lohan.

The best actor in Snow Dogs is a glowering Siberian husky named Demon. In fact, all the dogs in the movie do a better job than their human counterparts.

No abomination but forgettably mediocre. [19 March 1999, Life, p. 13E]

What makes it slightly better than the others is an affable, low-key chemistry between James Marsden and Michelle Monaghan as star-crossed lovers.

As the girl fights and rivalry play out, flashes of wit are obscured by the plot's contrivances.

Drawn out and dishonest in equal measure, Sam fights it out with "The Majestic" for the title of worst "important" movie of the year.

The scariest thing about this appalling and seemingly endless movie is that you paid for your ticket and now have to sit through it.

Consider The Other Sister emotional quicksand. [26 February 1999, Life, p.5E]

It'll be 30 years this Thanksgiving since Elvis starred in Blue Hawaii. Polynesian kissy-face has been going downhill on screens ever since. [02 Aug 1991, p.5D]

The best thing about A Good Day to Die Hard is its title.

While the visuals are lovely to behold, this unremarkable version of the classic 18th century Japanese legend is stiff and uninvolving.

No one put in any creative overtime on this Shift, the 16th Stephen King story made into a film. About as clever as it gets is calling the mill owner Bachman - King's pseudonym. [29 Oct 1990, p.4D]

Pretty hard to buy into at all.

Not without some stupidly funny moments.

Forced, formulaic and never believable. It's a particularly unholy combination.

What do you have to smoke to understand this?

Allison Janney is tacky incarnate as Barkin's good-time gal pal. When she shows up, Drop Dead Gorgeous comes most to life. [23 July 1999, Life, p.12E]

Who would have thought an animated comedy satirizing the predictable nature of fairy tales could be so grim?

Fun for less than 30 of the 80-minute running time.

A mishmash of horror and history genres that's not as bad as its trailers but ultimately is dragged down by, of all things, its star.

Despite its appealing stars, The Ugly Truth is a charmless romantic comedy.

If you didn't know otherwise, you'd swear that Gentlemen Broncos was made by a disaffected high school student – and not a particularly talented one.

A picture that isn't as terrible as its title suggests now as deep as its story aspires to be.

At least the models' avarice and teasing provide a chuckle or two, as their dates line up panting at the door. Purely by default, their contribution makes this a slightly better working-woman romance than "The Wedding Planner."

So imperfect that it may qualify as one of the summer's worst movies.

It will be hard for audiences to remain even vaguely attentive during this slog of a feudal vengeance tale.

November is when we eat turkey, and Sweet November is pretty much a fat, juicy gobbler passed off as Valentine's Day date bait.

Now and again, the bizarre occurs, such as when Fred and Barney don showgirl outfits and seem to be doing their version of "The Birdcage." But mundane is more the norm.

Not even Bill Murray could save Garfield. Perhaps the comedian -- so pitch-perfect as the sardonic actor in "Lost in Translation" -- got too deeply into character.

The story is tedious, noisy and banal. It is also rather dark and convoluted for children, though it does have the familiar bombast of a video game.

With a varied wardrobe of retro men's finery and a hirsute upper lip, the title character of the silly comedy Mortdecai is the center of a whirlwind of horrible British accents, too much gagging, not enough good gags and weak dialogue that, while not exactly terrible, is terribly boring.

You do get conscientious Hanks' miscast floundering (it's not pretty); Bruce Willis' lazy performance (it's beyond miscasting) as a hack journalist; showoff camera pyrotechnics; the thudding of dialogue that was hysterically funny in the book; an appallingly wrongheaded ending (even to non-readers); and the most numbingly needless and stupid off-screen narration yet. [21 Dec 1990, p.1D]

Stuffed full of rampant badness, the scattershot comedy isn’t nearly as clever or subversive as it thinks it is.

Not even scaremeister director Wes Craven can awaken this story. Murphy's pale efforts are enough to make one fondly recall Blacula. Now that was one sucker who knew how to make a film that didn't. [27 Oct 1995, p.4D]

Not worth the ride.

An insult to the memory of the cleverly written show and its celebration of friendship, it's a slap in the face for the four gal pals (often photographed at unflattering angles) and an affront to Muslims.

Everything about this fish-out-of-water romp is tired.

Less a movie than a mind-numbingly dull road trip.

Actually is a bit of a hoot.

A pale imitation that challenges credulity and tries too hard to win our hearts with schmaltz.

Hisses for Catwoman. Unfortunately for Oscar winner Halle Berry, this movie belongs in the litter box.

From the embarrassingly over-the-top performance of Ray Liotta as a tough-guy biker to the pratfalls of William H. Macy as a bumbling computer geek, this movie stinks of exhaust and desperation.

Even if you love alien robots punching each other while tossing out insipid one-liners, it’s a painfully long two and a half hours where the biggest problem isn’t a lack of plot but way too many of them.

Chan has more chemistry with the kids than with Valletta, but the story is so insipid that it's likely to only sadden fans of the martial-arts icon and offer little enjoyment to its young audience.

As shallow as a shot glass.

Defanged and drippy, the remake of 1939's The Women seems to have been made for the dullard granddaughters of the sassy, sharp society matrons in George Cukor's campy original.

The shenanigans of randy soccer moms and their obnoxious blowhard husbands are intended as comic relief. But the sappy plot of this formulaic romantic comedy is just as silly as its inane attempts at farce.

Underdrawn and overheated, Cool World will leave you cold. [13 Jul 1992]

A surprisingly funny, female-driven romp — as long as you don't question too many plot particulars.

If this is Dumas, there's a "b" in the middle and an extra "s" at the end.

Chuck rhymes with bucks - the only possible reason to revive this poor excuse for a horror villain in Child's Play 3. [03 Sep 1991, p.5D]

Hollywood's oddest movie in a while, which means that however insignificant this primer in flight-attendant training is, causing boredom isn't one of its transgressions.

The premise was a yummy one in the Mexican hit "Like Water for Chocolate," but it's best to pack Tums in case of heartburn this time around. [5 February 1999, Life, p.11E]