Almost nothing about Raising Helen rings very true, other than the camera's crush on Kate Hudson.

Starts out with promise but staggers under the weight of trying to take on too much. The tone is murky: The story attempts to blend adolescent angst with fantasy adventure, and the result is rather clunky.

Stone is competent, if not commanding; as neighbor lovers, she and Baldwin have less chemistry than the Taster's Choice coffee couple. [21 May 1993, p.1D]

Sports-satire misfire. [31 July 1998, p. 2E]

Silly, unfunny and formulaic.

Will not be for everyone, but it works if you surrender to its lilting and unabashedly sentimental tale of evocative music and visual poetry.

Free Birds is pleasant enough holiday fare. And kudos to the animators for transforming a rather unattractive — or at least unappreciated — species into a cast of endearing characters.

A failure from start to finish.

Allen Daviau's cinematography is so striking that the movie would probably play better with the sound off.

At least 2 Fast is self-aware enough to know that it's trash, which is worth half a bonus point. Lack of pretension helps the viewer get over the fact that this is just another retread.

Has nothing remotely new or comical in its arsenal. In fact, this vacuous farce has nothing original to say about marriage, working parenthood, child-rearing or corporate America.

Writer/producer John "Home Alone" Hughes, the Marquis de Sade of kidcom, and director Les Mayfield manage to squeeze the very bounce out of what should have been a can't-miss update. [26Nov1997 Pg09.D]

And So It Goes plays a little like the graying lounge act it honors: It's impressive for its age, though not altogether impressive.

Navy SEALS no doubt fancies itself as being taken from today's headlines, but ''taken from the pages of a Chuck Norris script'' is more like it. [23 July 1990, p.2D]

Hurried, harried. [14 February 1997, pg.D4]

Scrooged is so monumental a mess that even rabid Bill Murray fans - the ones who'll stand in line to see it despite critics' inevitable bashings - will wonder how it went so wrong. [23 Nov 1988, p. 9D]

A mongrel of a movie.

Longer on action than comedy. But with Chan's affable charm and stunning leaps, kicks and jumps, it's a good-natured and amusing spectacle.

Don't say you weren't warned. There are instant clues that this ill-timed Michael Douglas vehicle is a dually unfortunate viewing experience.

Smoochy, like the cuddly character, tries to be loved and ends on an unrealistically upbeat note. But it's in better, wittier form just being vicious and biting.

Last year's "TheWild Thornberrys Movie" and previous Rugrats films were more imaginative. And this one also suffers by coming on the heels of the exceptional "Finding Nemo."

Transforming Clouseau's perennial nemesis into a more urbane smoothie, Kevin Kline delivers like a pro.

As an artsy but minimally bohemian type, Russo maintains her dignity, an extraordinary accomplishment.

Audiences could use a wise and probing movie about the meaning of our increasingly digital, techno-juiced lives.Men, Women & Children is about half that movie.

Spaced Invaders (grave emphasis on the first ''d'') is the kind of kids' piffle Touchstone/ Disney turns out in its sleep once or twice a year. This time, slumber segues into a heavy coma, halfway into 102 criminally overlong minutes. [01 May 1990, p.4D]

There is undoubtedly a good movie in the varied experiences of American newcomers. But it would need to involve sagas more urgent and more original.

Although overly familiar, “Dominion” boasts everything you’d ever want in a “Jurassic” film and is the best in the series since the original 1993 movie.

Hillbilly Elegy is a well-acted study of a white working-class family reaching for the American dream over three generations, though its disconnected story is what’s unfortunately lamentable.

E. Max Frye wrote the script for the offbeat Something Wild. Now he's directed and written something stupid. [05 Mar 1993, p.5D]

Kris Kristofferson, as a scaled-down old gray mentor to Blade, still looks like the visual equivalent of your five worst college hangovers.

For all its faults, Justice is never boring. But it's such a battering experience, you may find yourself checking your own body for bruises before leaving the theater. [16 Apr 1991, p.6D]

Don't put yourself through this hell.

Likely one-week box office wonder.

That a group of creative people chose to direct their energies on this repulsive spectacle simply provokes disgust.

The movie gets a mild boost when her escape briefly takes it from just another crummy supernatural thriller into an OK escape melodrama, albeit one dependent on a whopper of an unlikely occurrence.

There's sad news to report about The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D: Put on the cardboard glasses, and you can still see the movie.

Each story has its moments, but "Air" lacks an overarching vision.

Ironically, the dialogue in The Words is its chief failing.

Made of Honor has some funny moments, and it keeps your attention, but it's certainly not worth rushing out to the multiplex and paying top dollar for. Catch it on TV on a lazy afternoon with little else to do.

As late Christmas presents go, Reindeer Games is best left unwrapped.

Amelia goes airborne but never fully soars.

While the rubber-limbed Carrey may not yet be in the hyper-manic league of Jerry Lewis or Robin Williams, his psychotic energy goes a long way to make this plot-anemic comedy palatable. [04Feb1994 Pg. 07.D]

Winnie Mandela is a simplistic look at a complex figure.

A hopeless if harmless boxing picture whose principals just happen to wear uniforms outside the ring, Annapolis is set in a U.S. Naval Academy where no one ever seems to attend class.

This Baywatch has its share of hilarious moments but never fully commits to the absurd, and even the cleverest jokes get so many callbacks, they’re beating a dead seahorse.

An enjoyably cast, superbly shot, jolt-generating device...It isn't art, but it'll crush your bones.

Truth be told, the movie isn't among the worst sequels of this summer.

Despite a cast and production that seem to promise one of the year's first movies of any note, Cool never translates its promo-photo flashiness into authenticity on screen.

Preachy, manipulative and emotionally barren.

Though the lead actress, newcomer Jordana Beatty, gives a spunky performance as third-grader Judy, her character's borderline bratty charm wears thin fast. Mostly it's undercut by the movie's irritatingly antic slapstick style.

It's undoubtedly a daunting role, and Morgado captures the gentle benevolence associated with the messianic figure. He doesn't, however, project the authority, gravitas or depth of a spiritual leader.

It may be the only movie ever to feature a bad performance by Johnny Depp, one of the best actors working in films.

This dispensable comedy has a few unexpectedly loopy surprises, including an outlandishly gay detective (played by versatile actor William Fichtner), who loves the Ice Capades but loathes insurance fraud.

When movies have degraded to the point that Tyson is acting more than Quentin Tarantino is directing, maybe it is time for an industry shutdown, strike-induced or otherwise.

There’s a scrappiness to Atlas that pairs well with a human/machine bonding narrative and a fish-out-of-water Lopez trying to figure out how to work a super cool, high-tech armored suit and not die spectacularly.

You can't accuse this film of bogging down in cheap psychology, yet you come out dissatisfied and without a clue about what made this person tick.

At least this movie seems more aware of its trashiness than "National Treasure" was. It's therefore freer to have some off-the-cuff fun the way Steven Seagal's more tolerable vehicles once did.

Somewhere amid the mind-numbing barrage of action sequences there's a story based on Greek mythology. But its essence is buried amid the clatter.

It's a 2 1/2-hour slog, with tonal inconsistencies and monotonous, drawn-out action sequences. Scenes alternate between frenetic and tedious.

It's an almighty, humorless bore.

The movie tries to capture the crushing weight of loss, but between the insipid pop tunes and the repetitive shots cutting away to a lighthouse on a scenic outcropping, it feels more like a film version of a condolence card.

The movie for anyone who has dreamed of watching young dinos in love.

Annabelle invites unflattering comparisons with scary movies that came before, but its disparate parts never coalesce into a genuinely fearsome thriller.

Aspires to be epic, but mostly it's just unfocused, sprawling and badly in need of editing.

Leaves a bad taste, not only because of its bad-luck timing, but also the staleness of its script.

Often livens up stale material with disarming loopiness and zest.

A movie that gives marriage, homosexuality, friendship, firefighters, children and nearly everything else a bad name.

The two main characters in Are You Here spend much of their time stoned or weeping. Those who watch this dreadful film may seek to escape or sink into despair as well.

You can't help but have high expectations from Zaillian and this stellar cast. But the result this time is a thuddingly tedious soap opera.

Those who feel a kinship to this brand of corn, dig in. The rest should head for the hills. [15 Oct 1993, p.5D]

Screwball, vaguely futuristic political satires are a rare hybrid, and War, Inc. is an intriguing, if flawed, example.

And though young Miko Hughes does a fine job as the traumatized Simon, this ain't no "Rainboy". [3 Apr 1998, p.SE]

Though the picture falls apart whenever the two leads aren't on screen together, you can argue that That isn't that inferior to its predecessor.

Flippantly hip without any solid laughs, Life strains to be the flick more offbeat. [24Oct1997 pg06.D]

Fun is hiding behind a bad movie costume in this humorless and idiotic Halloween teen comedy.

Yearns to be fresh but ends up tasteless. It's as drawn-out, forced and annoying as a holiday meal with a dozen carping relatives.

It comes off like a coughed-up furball: a wan rehash with too many elements of the hard-to-swallow 2004 original.

Hip-hoppish Honey is in the harmlessly junky "let's put on a show" tradition of "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo," minus electricity but with a budget for supporting-cast navel rings that 1984's break-dance sequel certainly didn't have.

Despite some high-caliber voice talent and shimmering animation, it's hard to get a bead on this tale.

You have to give director Jonathan Liebesman some points for sparing no shell casings or standing buildings to hustle us through the film's languorous two hours.

At least the original never stooped to overly graphic violence. This time, the filmmakers drench the toy-factory finale with gore galore. [09 Nov 1990, p.4D]

Will leave audiences yawning rather than gasping from fear.

The movie's premise is as dopey as they come: A serial killer with a conscience is killing other serial killers.

God may forgive you for seeing this needlessly brutal film. But you won't forgive yourself.

The movie keeps switching focus without ever getting its bearings, and when Brando exits earlier than expected, there's little but mayhem to fall back on. Moreau and mayhem are synonymous, to be sure, but we already know this going in. [23 Aug 1996]

Another one of those high-gloss treatments of domestic strife that want to have it both ways. Sitcom-slick, melodrama-edgy.

After "Chocolat" and this, how about a moratorium on candy-centered comedies?

It's too bad more energy wasn't devoted to fleshing out the one-dimensional characters and crafting a decent script. The only reason to catch this harmless diversion is for the group dance sessions.

If the sight of half-naked, tattooed sailors firing cannons at each other shivers your timbers, climb aboard. Even passable pirate movies don't sail by every day. [22 Dec 1995, p.3D]

Yes, it's a candy-colored Day-Glo world, but there's a liveliness missing from this lead-footed Speed Racer.

While it doesn't break any new ground or provide any revelations, Seven Pounds is unabashedly emotional and cautiously hopeful. It's the feel-good movie for these feel-bad times.

Best to wait until the movie makes it to TV - where its missteps will loom less large.

A film dealing fully with Hoffman's final years might have had a lot more punch.

Pure nonsense is hard to sustain for an entire feature-length movie.

Hunter is far too talented to waste her time with such mediocre material, as is co-star Kathy Bates, who plays Kippie Kann, an overbearing talk-show host.

The players fall into recognizable stereotypes: the big and clumsy kid, the real talent who's also a showoff, the buffoon, the gross-out guy. But no one is more formulaic than the coach. He starts out smug with the kids and ends up smitten.

T&H isn't art, but it's surprisingly good ''arf'' - and I know what I like. [28 July 1989, p.5D]

A plot-twist whodunit that even Forrest Gump might crack, it's also a Hall of Fame howler from long-inactive Richard Rush, whose direction of 1967's Hell's Angels on Wheels now seems comparably placid. [19 Aug 1994, p.10D]