A lovely soundtrack by Irish balladeers the Saw Doctors can't make up for the rest of this belabored labor of love.

The pacing is slack, the comedy has an oddly sour tone and frankly, no matter how hard the script tries to paint Sean as a petty martinet with a stick up his butt, it's hard not to sympathize with him.

This totally sucks.

HER ALIBI veers with little purpose from bland drama to heavy-handed slapstick, with rhythm, characterization, and plotting better suited to television than the movies.

The gags are familiar collegiate stuff, involving horny young men, horny old whores -- horny young tramps -- silly foreigners, uptight authority figures, homosexuals and sassy fat women.

The air of low-budget Eurotrash is unmistakable. Almost everybody has an unidentifiable accent.

Candy manages to squeeze a few laughs from the crude and cliche-ridden script, but Paul Flaherty directs broadly and obviously, with little feeling for comic pacing.

Not funny at all.

This unnecessary sequel to the 1977 cult item Attack of the Killer Tomatoes picks up where the latter left off, as, over footage from the first film, we are told that the human race has survived the onslaught of the giant killer fruit, yet some are still traumatized even at the sight of a normal-sized tomato.

Continuity errors are as numerous as product placements and though shot on location, the movie captures none of London's local color.

Only die-hard and undemanding Chan fans need apply.

Director Jesse Peretz, onetime bassist for The Lemonheads, cut his teeth on music videos and appears to have embraced the austere aesthetics of Dogme 95 filmmakers without comprehending that an interesting story and well-developed characters are supposed to be part of the package.

Surprisingly, the special effects aren't bad but they're wasted in a film that features a vomiting contest as a highlight. Skip this one.

This bare-bones plot is merely an excuse to string together a series of gross-out jokes involving bodily fluids, private parts, food and genetic deformities.

A worthless attempt to cash in on a lot of sniggering innuendo and crude slapstick.

Muddled tale of demonic hijinks and devil worship. It's terrible.

Apart from Bronson, this is a complete waste.

The parade of eccentrics never ends, and Stone's near-miraculous achievement is to drain the life right out of material so sordid you'd think it couldn't help but be interesting. A must to avoid.

This vulgar, supposedly comic horror tale about vampire hookers and religious morons is just plain gross.

A creepily unpleasant study of race and class.

Dumb sex comedy...Not much here except loads of beautiful women in swimsuits.

A disaster. Mason founders in his poorly written role, and none of the film's endless series of gags is the least bit funny.

THE HUNTER is more dead than alive. Supposedly based on a real bounty hunter's life, this episodic film never focuses on anything long enough for the audience to care about it, and characters race in and out of the story without introduction or development.

A potentially amusing comic premise -- dropping a pair of anarchic stoners into the spaced-out, sanctimonious world of New Age bio-dome enthusiasts -- gets submerged in a shower of witless gags and the feeble one-joke persona of MTV celebrity Pauly Shore.

It's not all that scary, either, making this psuedo-horror film largely a waste of time for even hard-core fans of the genre.

A lumbering journey that conveys none of the joy or mystery of exploration. Star Gerard Depardieu's unintelligible line readings and director Ridley Scott's murky mise-en-scene make it a hard film to hear and see, let alone like.

This poorly plotted film concerns three middle-class suburbanites who turn to crime when faced with poverty.

The strange thing about this film is that there are some interesting--albeit half-baked--ideas floating around in the script, and the direction shows some skill and style. However, the plot is ludicrous from start to finish, the characters one-dimensional, and the world-view simplistic.