Screenwriter/director Bloom has produced a bad script and his direction of young actors is even worse. Nothing very explicit survives in the final cut, leaving Andrews' grim ruminations on the horrors of a perverted family life obtuse and undeveloped.

A smug comedy about a precocious child who teaches his deadbeat dad about the true meaning of family, GETTING EVEN WITH DAD is only occasionally funny and commits every sin in the sitcom lexicon.

The film rings so consistently false that it's more likely to induce snickers and eye-rolling.

It's best to line The Uninvited right up on the soon-to-be-forgotten shelves next to the now third-generation Asian remakes and wait for the next effective foreign genre fare for Hollywood to butcher and rehash.

It fails utterly as a horror picture, although it delivers plenty of PG-13-rated flesh and unintentional laughs.

Another mindless exercise in unexciting, unmotivated action sequences punctuated by moments of stupid, redneck, good-ol'-boy humor.

So, in essence, The Informers fails precisely because we never believe these lost souls were ever human enough to have had a soul to lose in the first place.

Even the Critters seem to be going through the motions, which hopefully marks the end of this clearly exhausted series.

Though the effects work of Giannetto De Rossi is generally excellent and certainly stomach-churning, most of Zombie is slow and unintentionally funny. Fulci's work has its champions, but his films are mostly dim-witted and hold little interest for anyone other than hard-core gore fans.

The film sags under the crushing weight of its own inadequacy, lacking not only subtlety, intelligence, and insight, but also dramatic tension, character development, and a satisfying resolution.

A reprehensible film that unashamedly steals ideas (if not entire scenes) from other works.

Writer-director Robert Hiltzik tries to mask the poorly staged murder scenes and lousy effects with a perverse sense of humor, but it doesn't work. Some scenes, especially one involving a girl and a curling iron, are simply irredeemable.

Those looking for genuine drama should probably look elsewhere.

Arm wrestling, truck driving, weird weight lifting, and tear jerking are the stuff of this predictable Sylvester Stallone vehicle in which he plays Lincoln Hawk, a trucker-cum-wrist twister whose son, Michael (David Mendenhall), has been kept from him by his devious, wealthy father-in-law (Robert Loggia).

Given the track records of its writer, Neil Simon, and director, Hal Ashby, THE SLUGGER'S WIFE should at least have been entertaining. It isn't. Instead, it is one of the most disappointing, least credible films about baseball in recent memory.

While the film isn't entirely amateurish -- shots are cut together and the cinematography is professional if not precisely stylish -- the story feels as though large pieces are missing and the characters behave so inconsistently that there's zero incentive to care about their tribulations.

The film is brought down by stereotypical characters and a curiously dated view of Africa.

This picture never moves past dull, sitcom humor.

This shotgun marriage of coarse laughs and low-rent action cliches is, of course, utterly predictable: Cutting-edge comedy isn't lurking under the corpses of old TV shows.

Mean little film that pretends to say something about rape but panders to the cheap exploitation values of bad thriller films.

This is one of Lewis' lesser efforts, with his appearances on the Ed Sullivan Show drawing the only real laughs.

The film's only plus is some superb ski photography.

Everyone involved seems to have been operating from the presumption that gross and blasphemous equals hilarious. Would that it did.

Figgis again aims for sensual moodiness, but so many clashing tones clamor for the viewer's attention that the result is a noisy mishmash.

Crammed into 130 minutes of screen time, Le Carre's story loses much of its motivation, and although there is plenty of action and suspense, often it seems that the action is happening in the wrong places to the wrong people.

Film Ventures International (FVI) specialized in turning out cheap imitations of big blockbusters. When The Exorcist came out, FVI followed it with Beyond the Door; while Jaws was a number one money-grosser, FVI came out with this film, replacing the shark with a 15-foot bear.

A shapeless mess that falls far short of the high expectations created by Lee's first feature, SHE'S GOTTA HAVE IT.

Not so much a sequel as a reworking of old nonsense, CLASS OF 1999 is a thuddingly dull B movie that borrows its few thrills from other, more satisfying films.

Another failed attempt to make Tom Selleck a movie star, this is a handsomely mounted but vapid western that lumbers across the screen for two hours, providing little entertainment.

Talented though he is, Arkin cannot fill Sellers' shoes, especially when hampered by a script which relies on cheap laughs and lots of accidental death, and Yorkin's pedestrian direction.

Unforgivably bad, painfully unfunny, and downright stupid, HEAD OFFICE tries to do to the corporate world what AIRPLANE did to the airlines. A needle in a haystack would be easier to find than a laugh in this film--which is surprising, considering that the cast includes such names as DeVito, Moranis, Novello, Doyle-Murray, and Shawn.

An excruciating series of gags aimed at kids old enough to think it's funny when a grown-up acts like a small child.

Audiences flocked to see Kristel bare it all in an R-rated film, but "stunt" double Judy Heldon actually does the dirty work.

The film lacks any suspense or drama, and the special effects are not that special.

Fred Zinnemann waited 40 years to make this surprisingly lifeless film, a major disappointment from the acclaimed director of High Noon and From Here To Eternity.

Witless farce.

[A]confusing, silly story.

A ridiculous and totally insipid film.

The film features a great cast and is adapted from a funny and moving book by Joseph Wambaugh, but the result is an abysmal, disjointed mess.

Alien Trespass needs to be buried for another 50 years and then unearthed to be studied for how tributes can go oh so wrong.

Frequently brilliant director Boorman--always an interesting visual stylist--falls flat on his face with this pretentious piece of science-fiction claptrap that presents its dull ideas in such a confused and annoying fashion as to anger even the most devoted fan of the genre.

This could have been--and is--a very funny film; unfortunately, most of the laughs are unintentional.

All in all, it's a pretty offensive movie, especially to the Americans who fought in Vietnam.

Ultimately it's all too predictable.

A rip-off of ALIEN (1979), this Roger Corman production has plenty of gore and a mindless storyline. A group of astronauts are sent to rescue a stranded spaceship. One is raped by a giant worm, another blows up, and a third cuts off his own arm. The special effects are excellent.

A lifeless and sophomoric attempt at romantic comedy that draws on the fantasy films of old Hollywood but fails miserably.

Knowing is the path to eternal pain.

If you liked camp, you may like this film. If you hated camp, you may also like this film. If you like good comedies, you probably won't like this film.

The childish narrative, doubtless inspired by a spate of similar duds such as Conan the Barbarian, is marred by poor story continuity and terrible transitions.

It's hard to believe that the same man who wrote and directed one of the best horror films of the 1970s, The Hills Have Eyes, could have pulled the same duty on the sequel and come up with a film as shockingly bad as this.

Everything honest and hard-hitting in the book has been tastefully subverted, and the performances are scaled to meet the script's tiny demands.

Whoopi Goldberg here made her first stab at drama since her film debut in The Color Purple, and it's simply appalling. She's mawkishly maternal, and her patois is about as convincing as Lionel Richie's.

Director Uwe Boll sticks with what he knows -- how to turn video games into dull, cheap-looking movies.

An enormous number of symbols--sexual, religious, and political--collide randomly in this pretentious, incoherent horror story.

It lacks the courage of its swinish convictions, and abruptly acquiesces to bland rom-com clichés three-quarters of the way to its appointed end.

Awful disaster movie that combined the worst elements of soap opera with special effects (bad matte paintings and the ridiculous Sensurround)--featuring an all-star cast that should have stayed home and waited for a real earthquake.

If you've seen one of these, you've seen them all.

Hope isn't funny, Winters misses the mark completely, and watching Diller is like scratching your fingernails down a blackboard. To be avoided.

Performances are weak all around, and Gordon hits his nadir in his cinematic vision of irregularly sized creatures.

It's not that you can't go home again. It's that you SHOULDN'T, at least not in a lowbrow Hollywood comedy, because your family will inevitably be lewd, crude, loud and obnoxious.

This sequel remains true to the tasteless formula of the original.

One of the most dismal excuses for family entertainment ever perpetrated by a major studio, this crude, lazy variation on Disney's "Sky High" (2005) revolves around the education of four "special" youngsters at the hands of a washed-up superhero.

A mindless comedy that's about as funny as a life sentence in solitary confinement.

A classic among lovers of truly bad movies.

As poorly animated features go, this one ranks down there with the worst of them. The characters have no real personalities, and the whole thing is just too somber for its own good.

Although the concept of small dolls coming to bloodthirsty life sounds scary, its fear factor decreases rapidly after the initial shock.

Will put the kids to sleep, but may kill you.

In the tradition of misbegotten sequels that stagger into theaters long after the original movie's release, this follow-up to 1980's BLUES BROTHERS may find a sympathetic berth with ardent fans. But newbies are warned to stay away, unless they feel compelled to experience endless scenes of pointless buffoonery and crashing cars.

No one was exactly clamoring for this one, and Bronson has vowed it will be the last Death Wish.

The lighting and makeup are exceptionally harsh; all the women look shockingly rough beneath their garish makeup.

Just another excuse for mindless sex and violence: as if we needed one.

Because the screenplay is more concerned with its formula plot than with character development, neither McCarthy nor Dillon offer any real insights into this theme.

Dry, dull, and terribly predictable.

This Ashby-directed film suffers most from its too-simple plot, but the often-indecipherable Texas accents that Blake and Harris lay on don't help matters much.

Nelson wanders through this film like a zombie, and Sheedy, an actress who can manage an occasional burst of talent, is simply bad here. The film's only saving grace is the musical score by Cooder.

Incredibly inept and silly adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs' adventure yarn.

Campy hogwash.

The laughs are low, the breasts are high, and the film is instantly forgettable.

More a sequel to the original than an extension of the action in Part II, The Karate Kid Part III is half-hearted and very dull.

Besides a lot of scenic driving in and around Calgary, Nightbreed does have its fair share of sound and fury, not to mention blood and entrails. But it plays as if Barker were making it up as he went along, despite the film's having been based on his own novel Cabal.

The one highlight occurs during a couple of brief montage sequences which feature Varney mimicking a variety of cartoonish characters. These few moments are actually funny, but prove to be the only amusing moments in the film.

Taken as a whole, the film is dragged down by the same old incoherent plotting and characters, driven by the same old half-baked machismo and mealy-mouthed misogyny that have come to define Cimino the auteur. As a result, and despite the efforts of Rogers and Hopkins, Desperate Hours is more than a title; it's a description of a movie-going experience.

Lacking so much as a shred of wit and crammed with more product placements than jokes, this unendurable stoner comedy clearly disproves the movie-formula wisdom that two guys, one Xbox and a 2-foot-long bong add up to something funny.

Martial arts fans will find plenty of action to hold their interest here, but those in search of plot and character are advised to look elsewhere.

CELTIC PRIDE supplies predictably lowbrow yocks for jocks, and its rather disturbing racial implications go entirely unacknowledged.

On paper it looks like a bad idea for a comedy, but on film it looks even worse.

This movie has pretensions to mediocrity, a goal far too high for it to reach.

It's a great-looking film with a great-looking cast, it had some of Hollywood's top talent behind the cameras, and a budget of more than $45 million, but it lacks bite and conviction and utterly failed to strike a single spark, much less catch fire.

Beyond the skillful lensing of snow-covered mountain locations and interesting sports photography, SKI SCHOOL is a slow-moving picture which doesn't have much to offer. David Mitchell has written a screenplay which leaves his characters underdeveloped and therefore hard to identify or sympathize with. And the female characters, not unsurprisingly, are there only as bimbos or sexual objects.

What could have been an interesting and funny period piece under the directorship of original screenwriter Edwards is turned into a tedious, infantile mess by director Benjamin.

The film lacks the usual juvenile raunch, but it also lacks brains in telling its story of an all-night scavenger hunt, involving a lot of dumb jokes and predictable situations.

There's nothing hugely wrong with this picture, if you allow for the fact that it's derivative, predictable and crude. There just isn't anything especially right with it, except for a pretty creepy black-and-white nightmare sequence and a scene that reveals more than most people want to know about vampires' urinary peculiarities, but is certainly something you haven't seen before. Unfortunately, both occur within the last 20 minutes of the film, and there's a formulaic lot of nonsense to huff and puff through first.

The original The Bad News Bears was a home run, but the sequels are little more than weak trips back to the mound.

American Ninja 3 is a comic-book of a movie that goes too far to be a satisfying adventure and not far enough to be an entertaining parody.

The stunts in Smokey are excellent but the comedy is numbing, and the acting is on a par with a junior high school production of Our Town. Even Gleason comes across badly, and that's a major feat. Adolph Coors and Sons must have been very happy to have a 97-minute commercial for their brew.

Although the two veteran performers present themselves well, the concept of a monster disco is merely silly, and the terribly cheap masks on the various creatures make the whole thing look like a home-movie shot in his basement by 12-year-old with a camera.

Never figures out what it wants to be, and ends up a jumbled mess that nobody wants.

All the tunes are forgettable, and Reynolds and Dom DeLuise, who plays a crusading moralist, ham it up mercilessly.