Stiffly animated and featuring uninspired songs.

Even Bisset has to struggle to keep from looking embarrassed. Sadly, despite these numerous flaws, WILD ORCHID isn't even bad enough to be good.

The real-life Hayata plays himself with little conviction, while the rest of the Spanish-speaking cast give the impression that they don't have the slightest idea what their English-language dialogue means.

The movie has only a few bright moments, mainly provided by the fine group of supporting actors. Pryor displays none of his old manic energy, and the film follows suit, proceeding with murderous deliberation.

This tedious hodgepodge of martial-arts mayhem, bogus mysticism and computer-generated special effects doesn't even pretend to have a plot.

The film vacillates between inanity and flat-out lameness, and the decision to recut from an R-rated version to a PG-13 sucked out whatever life might have been left.

What really sinks the film, though, is the utter absence of chemistry between Perry and Willis.

The film's one saving grace is 18-year-old Ellen Muth, who gives one of the screen's most natural, non-Hollywood portrayals of a child.

Despite the futuristic setting, which relies so heavily on GGI effects that it looks like a feature-length production concept painting, this film is painfully predictable.

This dreary science-fiction/historical-action hybrid is a misfire of staggering proportions.

On the plus side, POLICE ACADEMY 6 is skillfully photographed by Charles Rosher, Jr., and has a very good soundtrack, supplied by Robert Folk. Unfortunately, high production values are wasted on films this slow-paced and silly.

Frenetic and cheerless action aside, the film's real problem is the Cat, who looks most unmagically like a second-string college sports mascot and conducts himself like a risque baggy-pants comedian.

The result is an unpleasant slog to an unrewarding conclusion that feels far longer than it is.

Surprisingly, Hurley comes off better than either of her demonstrably more versatile co-stars; she's not much of an actress, but she has an engagingly saucy swagger and her open-mouthed expression of outraged disbelief is priceless.

The best that can be said of this lame comedy is that it will make you run to the video store to rent Brooks' YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN.

So unimaginative that it's more of a remake than a sequel. Reynolds and his buddies all act as if they're in a home movie as they rehash the same tired gags and dull chases that filled the original.

POLICE ACADEMY 5 presents a patchwork of ideas borrowed from a score of wittier and better-done comedies, not to mention earlier entries in the series. In short, it's exactly what you would expect it to be.

Plenty of bone-crunching brawn, but not a brain cell in sight.

Louise Fletcher is a walking sight gag as the evil principal, but just about every other gag falls flat and lies there, wheezing.

Most certainly, the practice of martial arts is more rigorous than the mise en scene displayed in American Ninja 4: The Annihilation would indicate. Indeed, any term denoting film structure hardly applies to this cinematic hash.

The film's only mildly appealing character is the "Big A" store clerk (Brian Posehn) who refuses to be amused by Lloyd and Harry's moronic antics; sadly, even he eventually succumbs to the film's relentless and overarching stupidity.

Code Word: Bad!

Another failure in Harmon's attempt to move from TV to the big screen.

All the usual business canards and stereotypes are represented in this lackluster, witlessly directed production. Only Fox is worth watching, but his role is more suited to a one-act play.

Fortunately, the movie is so flat and boring that any children who might be tempted to ape its stunts will probably not sit still long enough to see them.

It's hard to overstate just how awful this movie is, despite the efforts of the appealing cast.

One of the worst attempts at comedy ever filmed.

This mess is no fun until the sniper starts shooting--at least that livens things up a bit.

Even by the degraded standards of dim-witted summer blockbusters, this is sorry stuff.

A butt-numbing exercise in tedium, sporadically redeemed by moments of unintentional hilarity.

Whereas Romero's approach to this material is distinctly tongue-in-cheek, Gornick makes the mistake of giving the stories a straightforward treatment that merely heightens their inherent weakness. Both pictures use animation to tie things together, though the cartoon work in both is weak.

Dino De Laurentiis' attempt to cash in on the popularity of JAWS is a total failure.

A failure on every level.

To call this scattered and cliché-ridden film less-than-cohesive would be generous, and Moore lacks the ability to imbue hackneyed dialogue with resonance.

Outrageous and often disgusting film.

A rather sorry excuse for a horror film--even Peter Cushing's distinguished presence doesn't help.

Burt Reynolds and a host of notable performers seem to be having a hell of a good time wandering through this meandering, episodic farce, but rarely is their good mood shared by the viewer.

The acting is lame and the rehashed script is silly. The film drags on and on until its obvious and none-too-thrilling conclusion. This is a film to punish the kids with if their behavior grows intolerable.

A dismal and woefully inept werewolf picture.

Pop tunes are mixed in with some of the original G&S songs in a pirate period setting that grates on the nerves, as does the inane toilet humor that substitutes for wit. All the performers, especially McNichol, look as if they can't wait until the film is over, and one can hardly blame them.

A contemptible excuse for a romantic comedy.

The only really good thing that can be said about REPOSSESSED is that it makes Exorcist II look like a classic. To hell with it.

Just painfully dull.

You'd have to be more than merely intoxicated to find anything about this dismal stoner comedy remotely funny. You'd have to be unconscious.

Well over $20 million was spent to create a film full of sound and fury but without an inkling of intelligence.

This movie is a compendium of every element in every inane teenage movie you've ever seen. The only reason anyone would watch it would be if they were being punished or were suffering from a heretofore incurable case of insomnia.

A stunningly inept and totally reprehensible film.

Not clever. Not scary. Not funny.

The language is filthy, the film is simpleminded, and Bronson's character is as despicable as those he murders. Death Wish II wades in gore and violence, exploiting hatred, fear, and mass murder.

Bad Taste was probably intended as camp, but its humor falls flat even as a parody of the horror genre. It is best viewed as a film strictly for movie makeup and special-effects aficionados.

As a director Prince doesn't show even a rudimentary sense of visual style, and his acting skills equal what his direction calls for. The whole film plays exactly for what it is, one long essay in ego massaging.

STAND ALONE is a repulsive, hate-filled effort that blasphemies the true meaning of patriotism.

An aesthetically contemptible, crassly commercial work.

A totally inane script designed to cash in on the rollerboogie craze.

Vile exploitation picture shot cheaply in the Philippines.

Any attempt to obscure the names of those involved in the making of this fiasco can only be construed as an act of mercy. Troll 2 is really as bad as they come.

Frustrating, confusing, loud, and offensive, this horribly bad sequel not only continues to ruin the story line and characters so deftly created by John Carpenter in HALLOWEEN (1978), but sets a new standard of stupidity.

Vulgar doesn't begin to describe it: Try one of the foulest, least funny films ever made under the rubric of black comedy.

Infantile fantasy reuniting the stars of Grease.

Preposterous, disingenuous, remarkably unfunny and genuinely distasteful.

Ill-conceived, pathetically realized follow-up to "Saturday Night Fever."

Pathetic acting and a scattershot plot sink this pitiful attempt by producer Robert Stigwood to turn the landmark Beatles album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band into an engaging film.

Is there anything more irritating than an exploitation filmmaker with self-referentiality on the brain?

This rancid horror film suffers from pretensions of social significance.

Even Nicholson's presence can't lift this trash to a one-star listing.

Hooper took the easy path and went for out-and-out gore, rather than making a carefully constructed horror film. The film feels as if Hooper himself has nothing but contempt for the original and went out of his way to tear it down.

The direction is lackluster, and the film is padded with a number of useless scenes.

This abysmal "Spider-Man" satire has more in common with the lamentable spate of "Epic" and "Date Movies" than Zucker and Nielsen's truly funny "Naked Gun" series.

Every aspect of this film is reprehensible. Stallone's character is an empty hulk; the few attempts to provide us with little insights into his character are downright laughable.

Try as they may, neither the cast nor the filmmakers can cover up the fact that this movie, like Moore's prototype, is a dud.

The only thing that differentiates this weak offering from a made-for-television feature are Fairchild's nude scenes, which are gratuitously worked in and add nothing to the story.

The film features a complete absence of plot, character, drama, comedy and acting.

Johnny be worthless.

Bolero must rank as one of the worst major movies ever made. Many awful movies are at least funny in a campy sort of way. Bo and John Derek, however, make films so sincerely bad that they offer nothing in the way of relief.